The decision was made well in advance with me. We decided we were only going to have two kids, and I volunteered. I figured if she was doing the birthing I could at least step up to stop it. So after our second child, snip.
Kudos to all of the guys who stepped up to do their part to avoid accidents. Years of being being on birth control, an abortion, or a hysterectomy is asking a lot of your partner. Gold stars to you.
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I can only speak for me, but it was a combination of things. First of all, yes, my wife brought it up after our 2nd child. I was on the fence about having a third, but she was pretty certain she didn't want another. Looking back, I think 2 is plenty.
The other factor when we decided is about age and being an effective parent. I did it at 41, and it was because the math wasn't in my favor. Even if we ended up with another child, at that time a pregnancy would have taken me to 42 at the birth, which meant that the child wouldn't turn 18 until I was 60. The thought of still parenting at 60 gave me pause, and so I felt it was time. Plus, my wife is about 6 years younger than me, so she has a long way to go to menopause, and so the risk of another unplanned pregnancy would be high.
But it was also a consideration of my wife's health. Taking hormone-based birth control isn't necessarily dangerous, but it does come with some risk factors. We figured that if you can do away with that entirely with a vasectomy, it's much better long term. It eliminates those possible health risks, it's a far more effective method of birth control, and it fit our plans for life.
I don't consider it altering my body anymore than getting dental work. Sure, it means I'm done having children, but that actually gives me peace of mind in some ways. I did take a year to consider it after it was first brought up, and she never demanded that I do it. It just made sense for us.
This was pretty much exactly my thinking too. We were done having kids, didn't want to risk having another kid in our 40's or later, and this seemed the best permanent option.
As a female, I am genuinely curious how all you guys decided that this procedure on yourself had to get done? Was it your wife that brought up the subject? Did you offer yourself up as tribute first? From what I am reading, it seems like a simple enough procedure, but was the fear of having more children worth altering your body? I never had this conversation with my husband, as I would never ask of him to do something that seems pretty unnecessary IMO. And at what age were you guys doing this? Late 30’s? 40’s? I started menopause when I was 48, so even if my husband got one done right after the birth of Puxlut Jr. it would have only protected against unwanted pregnancy for 12 years? Just seems odd to me?
I was always aware of the procedure, but it wasn't something that I had researched in depth until necessary. My wife and I had conversations about it a long time prior to getting married and kids. Mainly it was conversations about how other couples were arguing about it. I personally didn't have issues with it and definitely thought the castration POV was over the top. My wife brought up the subject. Yet, while she was critical of other guys who were hesitant, when it was time to discuss me, she was highly conflicted. So basically I offered up "as tribute" and weirdly, she was the one who non-stop tried to talk me out of it.
I viewed it no differently (probably oversimplification, I dunno) as the male equivalent of getting tubes tied, but significantly less complications. I wanted to go through this especially since my wife would be at high risk for health issues if she went on birth control.
I think over researching the vasectomy topic does make it weird really fast though. My wife definitely was on board when it was just theoretical. She was fine with the basic concept, but then she had colder feet than I did. Albeit, I never had cold feet.
I got the procedure done mid 30s after my second child was 1 and a half. I think that actually was partially a compromise with the wife who worried we might lose a child before age 1 due to SIDS or something and might want to try again. We viewed it as a non-reversible procedure as was advised.
My wife was also absolutely militant that I followed the recovery procedure and more for like 3-4 weeks. It's kinda crazy how many things as guys we do regularly that were restricted by the recovery instructions. I felt significantly more guilty like I wasn't doing my part by day 2-3 than enjoying being treated like a king. You can lift around 15 pounds, but it's surprising how many things suddenly are pretty damn close if not over 15 pounds (ie: A kid or a carrier/car seat/stroller etc.). She basically wouldn't let me pick things up that were a smidge over 5 pounds. I had to basically submit a proposal to move my PS4 because she was worried it could hamper the recovery.
Over researching wise, I also had a buddy suddenly send me unsolicited videos of the procedure a few days prior to his procedure. Apparently this was because he was freaking out. I didn't even know he was scheduled for it. If you got a message like that you'd think the person messaging got hacked by a hacker or something. No NSFW warning, just BLAM! Dick pic. Don't be like buddy. Give a warning before sending #### like that or discussing it with others.
Quote:
Originally Posted by craigwd
Wouldn't t-skinny jeans be a positive? They are just like compression shorts.
There's a difference between support and tight. You don't want to squeeze the balls after the procedure, especially if they start swelling. TBH, I don't recall when the swelling started because anesthesia, but I think it's basically immediate.
Compression shorts and jock strap have vertical support (ie: Bobbing up and down due to gravity). Skinny jeans don't have that vertical support (especially if the person shows up in boxers and skinny jeans as the assistants allege as quite common), plus they squeeze and agitate a swelling body part that needs recovery. God forbid you sit down and pincer swelling balls on your way home.
I remember seeing stars once. I don't even fully remember what it was, but I recall it was innocuous. Something I would have easily brushed off without flinching prior to the procedure. I want to say I was maneuvering the jock strap to insert an ice pack and band accidentally slipped. I just recall it was on like day 1. My wife gave me an earful about it for a month.
Last edited by DoubleF; 06-05-2023 at 11:14 AM.
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Compression shorts and jock strap have vertical support (ie: Bobbing up and down due to gravity). Skinny jeans don't have that vertical support (especially if the person shows up in boxers and skinny jeans as the assistants allege as quite common), plus they squeeze and agitate a swelling body part that needs recovery. God forbid you sit down and pincer swelling balls on your way home.
Thanks bro.
The GF and I have been discussing it and I've been collecting notes.
Trying to see how much time I would need to take off of work (office job and a commute on transit).
Thanks bro.
The GF and I have been discussing it and I've been collecting notes.
Trying to see how much time I would need to take off of work (office job and a commute on transit).
It sounds like it would need a week?
Do you want to milk this or do you want to go back to work. If you want to milk it a week is good, but should be fine after a day or so. Laser Eye surgery hurt more.
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Thanks bro.
The GF and I have been discussing it and I've been collecting notes.
Trying to see how much time I would need to take off of work (office job and a commute on transit).
It sounds like it would need a week?
I did it on a Friday morning as was back at work by Monday. Very, very restful weekend with lots of icing and laying on back.
It is not to say that I was really comfortable again for another 2 weeks, but I was able to do my job. First few days back to work were not fun, but manageable.
That being said, if you can take some time off, do it.
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Thanks bro.
The GF and I have been discussing it and I've been collecting notes.
Trying to see how much time I would need to take off of work (office job and a commute on transit).
It sounds like it would need a week?
Depends on what you do for work and how often you walk/stand for your daily routine. It also depends on how long you want to feel aches and soreness. The first 3-5 days probably are the most important recovery wise and most guys will tell you how you feel the 12 ish hours immediately after the procedure is a little misleading. You can basically stretch the daily basic aches (not too much worse of a discomfort than the worst workout aches and pains) from a month to like 4-6 months if you unwisely jump in right away. But sometimes you don't have a choice work wise and overall unwise decisions typically just extend the duration you feel discomfort vs truly hamper recovery.
If you work a desk job where you barely have to walk (ie: data entry), I think you could get away with barely more than needing an afternoon off and taking it easy for standing/walking lifting for the week or two after the procedure. You'd probably want to make sure to notify your work that you will have to take it easy for a week or two so you don't strain or injure the procedure spot.
If you do significantly more standing or walking (ie: sales, serving) or blue collar job (ie: Walking, standing and lifting), you may need closer to 3-5 days to just be in the vicinity of light duty work and maybe less than 50% for however long your body feels the need. The surgical assistants and doctor are good at giving a better idea about that and some people go right back to it right away... then complain about extra aching for an extended period of time (which ultimately goes away).
I think you'll easily figure out within a day or two how badly your activities and daily routine are going to slow or affect recovery. But it's definitely a little uncertain how your body will react before the procedure.
I suddenly did become hyper aware in that region once the anesthesia wore off and how much I used my lower torso for balancing. It'll just suddenly feel like a workout soreness. Usually that just means the ice packs and jock come back out for a short recovery session every few days.
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As a female, I am genuinely curious how all you guys decided that this procedure on yourself had to get done? Was it your wife that brought up the subject? Did you offer yourself up as tribute first? From what I am reading, it seems like a simple enough procedure, but was the fear of having more children worth altering your body? I never had this conversation with my husband, as I would never ask of him to do something that seems pretty unnecessary IMO. And at what age were you guys doing this? Late 30’s? 40’s? I started menopause when I was 48, so even if my husband got one done right after the birth of Puxlut Jr. it would have only protected against unwanted pregnancy for 12 years? Just seems odd to me?
Mine and WhiteTiger’s reasoning are essentially the same.
I don’t have kids, nor do I want any at the age of 37. For the longest time, all my partners have been on birth control so it was never really a concern. However, I recently split from my wife and I’m getting out there again, and in fact I’m seeing someone now. Neither of us want kids and we’re exclusive. Given that I don’t want kids of my own anyway, it just made sense to get it done. I would rather protect against any oopsies instead of banking on birth control and condoms.
The only thing that could have stopped me is if my partner had suggested she wasn’t as certain as she was about the kids thing. But there was no pressure from her on me to get it done; I wanted it.
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Do you want to milk this or do you want to go back to work. If you want to milk it a week is good, but should be fine after a day or so. Laser Eye surgery hurt more.
From the sounds of it, you'd want to wait at least a week before milking it.
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All done. Definitely was way faster than I expected. Now to look forward to the recovery. Keeping the 3yr old off my lap for a week will be the biggest challenge.
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All done. Definitely was way faster than I expected. Now to look forward to the recovery. Keeping the 3yr old off my lap for a week will be the biggest challenge.
They should make crotch cones in the same way dogs get cones.
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All done. Definitely was way faster than I expected. Now to look forward to the recovery. Keeping the 3yr old off my lap for a week will be the biggest challenge.
Suddenly, my cat wants nothing more than to walk across my groin area, whereas he was previously quite content to walk along the back of the couch. Little sh-t.
Recovery has been pretty uneventful. Ice the boys for 10-15 minutes at a time, take an anti-inflammatory with each meal, don't try to be a hero and exert yourself. No pain or tenderness. Being an obligate couch potato f-cking sucks, mind you. It is unbelievably difficult to sit around and do bugger all.
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Suddenly, my cat wants nothing more than to walk across my groin area, whereas he was previously quite content to walk along the back of the couch. Little sh-t.
Recovery has been pretty uneventful. Ice the boys for 10-15 minutes at a time, take an anti-inflammatory with each meal, don't try to be a hero and exert yourself. No pain or tenderness. Being an obligate couch potato f-cking sucks, mind you. It is unbelievably difficult to sit around and do bugger all.
Yup. Lots of us just get up and randomly do things 15 pounds+ or physical activity related or wander around on our feet on a daily basis without really thinking about it. Doing completely nothing just feels completely feeble. It's nice when someone does something for you that you can easily do. But when you can't/aren't allowed and someone does it for you, it just feels weak rather than wonderful. It doesn't sound like much, but once I was in that scenario, I felt a little bit like a kid who was in time out.
"Oh, I'll just quickly... wait, how heavy is this/or how much strain is involved... ugh I can't do that. Dammit."
"Oh I have time now! I can... Workout, yoga, yardwork, car quick fix thing, groceries, video games/social media (gets boring), clean up that storage space, pick up pet/kid... or play fetch, go for a walk at the mall (borderline), go for a drive (Ouch on the potholes and speed bumps?), stairs, alcohol... wait, when is 24 hours after the procedure... yes."
I think one of the recovery days, I just sat at a table and sharpened every knife I had in the house because that was all I could think of doing that I wanted to do at that moment. This because it wasn't screen related, appropriate weight and activity levels and I could be seated while doing it. It's technically isn't hard but it absolutely is maddening.
Don't be like buddy. Give a warning before sending #### like that or discussing it with others. 
