‘I regret having children’

[dubc80]

Originally Posted by V

No, I legitimately have no idea how your post ties to mine.

I think the guy is dumb for being annoyed that his fun loving girlfriend has turned into a responsible mom, and you're going off on guilt for not enjoying kids 100% of the time. I really don't see the connection. I know you're trying to be smarmy or something, maybe that's your schtick, but maybe you can try to be clearer. Because as it stands right now you appear to have lost the plot.

Ha! I worded my post poorly, and it was written tongue in cheek. I'm definitely not annoyed she is an amazing mom and wife. We joke about it all the time.

She is the first one to admit that she has changed from who she was before, that's all.

Mom guilt is powerful! So, its up to us to make sure it doesn't take over and give them plenty of opportunities to be the person who they once were. Hobbies, sports, whatever other interests and passions they had they need to try and keep doing. I think dads have a much easier time with that.

[Jbo]

As a new Dad, having a baby daughter has been amazing. Waiting until my 30s made the financial burden of a child much less of an issue. Do I struggle a bit with the “old” non child life? I guess. I can still travel, and things I want, I can still have. Do I care when one of my single friends goes on a 3 week bender to Asia...meh not really.

The joy I get to raise a little girl, far outweighs personal sacrifice to me. Family is everything in this world. Jobs, financial situation, friends..that changes over the years, but family is everything. I love watching my daughter look at the world with an infants eyes. Everything is magical and awesome again.

As I age and my hair line starts moving further back, and hanging out in hostels is less appealing, I look forward to raising a human to be a good person...the world needs more of those

[Erick Estrada]

Originally Posted by Radio

Wonder how many people regret being born or born to the parents they have?

My parents sucked. My dad was an angry man that didn't want kids and my mother only wanted a daughter so three boys later she finally got her girl. Both emotionally and physically abusive. That said all four kids managed to go on to productive lives and be happy. The hardships I endured as a child and teen made me the person I am today so if I wouldn't change my parents even if I could.

[Minnie]

Originally Posted by Radio

Wonder how many people regret being born or born to the parents they have?

Originally Posted by Erick Estrada

My parents sucked. My dad was an angry man that didn't want kids and my mother only wanted a daughter so three boys later she finally got her girl. Both emotionally and physically abusive. That said all four kids managed to go on to productive lives and be happy. The hardships I endured as a child and teen made me the person I am today so if I wouldn't change my parents even if I could.

I don't regret being born. I do regret that I was adopted by people who clearly shouldn't have had children, because they didn't seem to like any of us all that much, I don't think, if the physical/emotional/mental abuse they leveled on us was any indication. (Of the 4 of us, the 2 oldest are adopted, the 2 youngest are the "natural"/biological kids)

I'm of the same train of thought that Erik mentioned though. I know that surviving them means I can get through a LOT. I do wish for my sibling's sakes, that they didn't also have to endure the crap - that I would change. But, we are all productive members of society, we've all managed to break the cycle of abuse in terms of our own children and I know that I've built a happy life for myself.

I don't know how things would have turned out if I hadn't been placed for adoption or if my adoptive parents had been decent human beings - perhaps the same outcome, perhaps not. I am very grateful for the family I built, for my children, for my husband, for our life together, that we've managed this, that I managed this without any proper modeling of parenthood.

I'm glad I was born, I'm glad I get to live this life. Regardless of the problems, it's a good life.

[GGG]

I think one of the things that parents make a mistake on is going into parent mode and giving up what they love. If you love to travel continue to travel. You will have to modify it a bit to accommodate a kid but you can still do it.

Outside of wanting do get lit up every night every other activity can be modified for doing with children.

I think the people who regret having kids most likely would regret something else in their life if they chose not to have kids. I don't think there is anything wrong with it but I think the problem is in people heads rather than outside it.

[driveway]

At this point in my life I've pretty much come to accept that if I'm to have children it will most likely be by marrying someone who has kids from a previous relationship. That is fine with me and something I'd actually be kind of excited to do.

I love my no-kids life, I get to choose whether my weekends are spent on the couch playing video games or riding a scooter around one of - if not the - most beautiful islands on earth. I visit, on average, 5-6 different countries a year, I just bought ridiculous, expensive duelling lightsabers.

Besides, through my job I get like 60 tween-hours a day. I don't feel like I need more than that right now.

Huge kudos to all the parents though. I am fortunate enough to have really, really amazing parents. I have a very strong relationship with them still and they're both pretty incredible people.

[Minnie]

Originally Posted by GGG

I think one of the things that parents make a mistake on is going into parent mode and giving up what they love. If you love to travel continue to travel. You will have to modify it a bit to accommodate a kid but you can still do it.

.

Don't fit your life around your kid, fit your kid into your life.

[prarieboy]

Since I was a teenager all I wanted was to have a family. I left a pretty sucky first marriage where my spouse only wanted to have kids when I was leaving at the end. I'm glad that never happened.

After that was over I met another girl and we both have the same thoughts on life. We have two of the most beautiful kids you have ever seen. It feels like I'm living the dream.

I'm sure there are lots of people who don't end up in my personal situation. If I was to have had kids with my previous spouse, even though kids were what I really wanted out of life, I might have quite easily regretted having them.

In my opinion it's not just the kids but the whole family thing that really delivers.

Edit: I would still love the kids either way. It might just cause me some regret.

[Rathji]

The days when I have to clean up whatever random bodily excretion from whatever random place it ends up, or deal with tween contrived drama, I am certainly a lot less happy as a parent.

The days I sit with my kids and plan building a trebuchet, play one of my favorite games that I got them hooked on, or explain things ranging from why there is a hole in the lid on our cooking pots to what Watergate was, I am a lot more happy as a parent.

Soccer season sucks balls though. Everyone in a different age range, so playing on a different day/location. When we had 4 kids in soccer, between the games and practices, it was a nightmare.

More on the subject, we had 2 biological kids, adopted a 3rd and then had 2 foster kids that we added afterwards due to their situation in life. 5 kids is too many, and if we were not essentially a 3 parent household (my mom lives with us) and our oldest hadn't moved out, our lives would be too chaotic for my liking.

[Galakanokis]

Can't get stupid Facebook link to work.

[Shazam]

Originally Posted by Rathji

More on the subject, we had 2 biological kids, adopted a 3rd and then had 2 foster kids that we added afterwards due to their situation in life. 5 kids is too many, and if we were not essentially a 3 parent household (my mom lives with us) and our oldest hadn't moved out, our lives would be too chaotic for my liking.

Wow. I salute you and your dedication to making childrens' lives better.

AFAIAC, all your hockey opinion will now be taken as fact.

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by Galakanokis

Can't get stupid Facebook link to work.

Maybe get the kid that's good with computers to help you out, gramps.

[bizaro86]

Originally Posted by Rathji

The days when I have to clean up whatever random bodily excretion from whatever random place it ends up, or deal with tween contrived drama, I am certainly a lot less happy as a parent.

Are those from the same kid? Because I was hoping they could mostly be dealing with their own excretions by the tween years.

Maybe don't tell me and I'll just assume that part ends by the time they go to school or so.

[CaptainCrunch]

I would regret having children the minute that I looked at my mid 20's kid is still living at home.

GET OUT YOU PARASITE

This comes after scientists now say that people are adolescent until they hit 24 because so many of them are living at home.

[Rathji]

Originally Posted by bizaro86

Are those from the same kid? Because I was hoping they could mostly be dealing with their own excretions by the tween years.

Maybe don't tell me and I'll just assume that part ends by the time they go to school or so.

Haha, the tween doesn't have so many issues in that department, but my 8 year old...

It's my genetics though, and there is hardly a day that goes by when I don't apologize to my wife for it

[PaperBagger'14]

Originally Posted by driveway

At this point in my life I've pretty much come to accept that if I'm to have children it will most likely be by marrying someone who has kids from a previous relationship. That is fine with me and something I'd actually be kind of excited to do.
.

I'm in a similar position now, weird to think 6 months ago I was planning to propose and was trying to have a kid. Life's little curve balls I guess.

It depends on who I meet and what they want but honestly adoption is looking more and more likely. Most women my age either have kids or are right on the cusp of not having any. We shall see!

[ASP#26525]

Originally Posted by OMG!WTF!

I wonder if the way you are raised has anything to do with your desire to have kids. And even though I don't have any I can not for the life of me understand dead beat parents. I've known a couple dads who have very little to do with their kids and it upsets me greatly. If they were mine I'd be all over it.

It definitely influenced me. My number one philosophy in life is to do the exact opposite of anything my mother ever did or does. I had a terrible example growing up, but the perfect example of how not to lead your life and how not to treat someone.

The two best decisions I have ever made were:

1) To not get married
2) To not have children

I'm way too much of a selfish jerk to have children, or even have another boyfriend let alone live with one, ick. But the biggest, most important reason I will never, ever have children is because I could never be so cruel as to subject them to my mother for a grandmother. I'm a pretty awful person, but not that awful. I haven't spoken with my parents in almost two years and it has been heaven.

It's nice to be able to express this opinion without parents crucifying me (knock on wood?). Right now my plan is to die alone, probably discovered days later at the bottom of the stairs with my face eaten off by my cats, but who knows what life has in store.

[Wormius]

I always wanted to be eaten by dingos. Then the police would investigate and conclude that I was killed by a serial killer who mimics dingos. I don't really know what would happen after that. Maybe they'd make a documentary about the guy they wrongfully convicted as the "dingo cannibal killer" and he'd eventually be released because they found that a dingo escaped from some zoo in Canada. Anyway, I don't really know. Maybe the guy would win some huge payout for being wrongfully convicted and he'd actually be pretty happy with his newfound freedom and wealth. That would make me kinda feel good about my life.

Anyway, I am married with kids, but..I have also been drinking tonight so I imagined an alternate realty. I am pretty sure I don't want to fall down a flight of stairs and be paralyzed while cats eat me alive. Kind of a grim death.

[Mr.Coffee]

Originally Posted by Minnie

Don't fit your life around your kid, fit your kid into your life.

I’m not sure strict adherence to either doctrine is the way to go.

There’s probably a healthy in between balance here.

[btimbit]

Originally Posted by Mr.Coffee

I’m not sure strict adherence to either doctrine is the way to go.

There’s probably a healthy in between balance here.

#### that. Bring your toddler to the strippers