"Me Too"

[Nyah]

Originally Posted by wittynickname

You can absolutely still properly investigate an accusation without bringing the victim's sexual history into it. It doesn't matter who a victim slept with previously, whether he or she has had 2 partners or 200 partners. It doesn't matter to the investigation at hand. That was the part I was referencing.

I get that. But there is so, so much more to the Title IX/Dear Colleagues issue than just bringing the victims past history into it (which I stated I disagreed with). I just felt that some context was needed on other reasons why Title IX is being challenged.

[vegasbound]

I know my former college could have handled my sexual assault a lot better and differently. He got off scot free. And I know he assaulted more girls than just me.

It has made me not want to report stuff that I should have reported. Before my current job, I was one of the only girls who worked in a male dominated profession and the harassment was pretty bad. Not just with my co-workers but people I had to interact with out in the field.

[troutman]

How to Listen to Women When They Share Their Stories of Sexual Assault

https://melmagazine.com/how-to-liste...t-3d5e3bba1659

Typically in these instances, they [men] revert to doing what they know how to do best: solve problems. If they can’t fix it, they feel weak or helpless, which can lead to defensiveness and misunderstandings. I hear a lot of the same things from other women who have been raped or assaulted.

But here’s the thing: It’s not your job to fix a woman who’s been assaulted; she’s internalized enough shame without having to worry about you.

I understand the impulse, though. And in defense of these men, there’s no handbook for them about how to best communicate with us when we confess some of our deepest pain and trauma. So allow me to help start such a playbook by giving you some tips that may put you on the path to sensitively supporting survivors of sexual assault — online and off.

[Knut]

In College one incident lead me to change how I interacted with women. In the old Roadhouse in Lethbridge a very large man followed me around the bar groping at my ass and saying what he was going to do to me. It was not until one of my friends (a woman) noticed, and planted a big kiss on me, that he walked away. The discomfort sticks with me to this day. It is also nothing compared to what most women have gone through.

[doctajones428]

Originally Posted by Me on Facebook

Am I the only one that feels like this "me too" is downplaying the victims of sexual assault by lumping them together with victims of sexual harassment? They are different and one is much worse than the other. I've been sexually harassed twice in jr. high school but won't be saying "me too" as it doesn't even come close to being groped or raped

I'm a guy. Hate to say it, but with how broad the term sexual harassment is I think it's safe to say nearly every teen/adult in North America have been sexually harassed at least once in their lives and it doesn't surprise me in the slightest. I'm not saying it's right, but it's about as common as bullying and is definitely the lesser of the two issues this campaign is about. Sexual assault is a much more heinous act and I wish we would seperate the two

[Dion]

As a former employee who worked for Safeway we had a store manager in the early 90's that got fired for sexual harrassment. At first they told us he was on personal leave and then after a few weeks we were told he was let go.

Not much official info was released on what he did to certain female employees. That being said some employees opened up to others and talked about what happened. Things along the lines of sex in exchange for promotions and other things. One I knew well said he got exactly what he deserved.

His behaviour towards me was a bit creepy as he would often put his arm around me when explaining what he wanted done. It got to a point where I avoided any conversations with him. If a night shift was over and he was coming into the store i'd wait until he went upstairs before leaving.

A week after his firing Safeway sent people to all the stores to give presentations on what consitutes sexual harrassment and how one should deal with it and most importantly who to report it to.

A few months later I found out that my fired store manager was now working for CO-OP as a district manager. Made me wonder how got hired.

[belsarius]

Originally Posted by doctajones428

I'm a guy. Hate to say it, but with how broad the term sexual harassment is I think it's safe to say nearly every teen/adult in North America have been sexually harassed at least once in their lives and it doesn't surprise me in the slightest. I'm not saying it's right, but it's about as common as bullying and is definitely the lesser of the two issues this campaign is about. Sexual assault is a much more heinous act and I wish we would seperate the two

Isn't that the whole problem right there?

[TheFlamesVan]

http://www.cbc.ca/22minutes/m/videos...ason-25/me-too

Great piece by Susan Kent of 22 Minutes.

[PepsiFree]

Originally Posted by doctajones428

I'm a guy. Hate to say it, but with how broad the term sexual harassment is I think it's safe to say nearly every teen/adult in North America have been sexually harassed at least once in their lives and it doesn't surprise me in the slightest. I'm not saying it's right, but it's about as common as bullying and is definitely the lesser of the two issues this campaign is about. Sexual assault is a much more heinous act and I wish we would seperate the two

Is it? I don’t really think we get to make clear distinctions on how someone else should feel based simply on legal lines. Sexual assault is fairly broad as well.

Do you think a woman who was invited to her boss’ apartment for a conversation about a promotion, only to have him come out of his bedroom in an open rope with an erection, or is sent dick pics from her boss, should feel better about it than a woman who gets her ass grabbed at the bar? or slapped by a co-worker? That’s pretty muddy water.

I think it’s best that, as *not women* in this situation, we don’t attempt to dictate how upset they should feel based on two broad terms that we think deserve straightforward reactions. Sexual assault is not automatically a more heinous act than sexual harassment, and we should stop thinking it is. Some of it is, sure, but some sexual harassment can be a lot worse than was is defined as a sexual assault.

[gallione11]

Originally Posted by Dion

As a former employee who worked for Safeway we had a store manager in the early 90's that got fired for sexual harrassment. At first they told us he was on personal leave and then after a few weeks we were told he was let go.

Not much official info was released on what he did to certain female employees. That being said some employees opened up to others and talked about what happened. Things along the lines of sex in exchange for promotions and other things. One I knew well said he got exactly what he deserved.

His behaviour towards me was a bit creepy as he would often put his arm around me when explaining what he wanted done. It got to a point where I avoided any conversations with him. If a night shift was over and he was coming into the store i'd wait until he went upstairs before leaving.

A week after his firing Safeway sent people to all the stores to give presentations on what consitutes sexual harrassment and how one should deal with it and most importantly who to report it to.

A few months later I found out that my fired store manager was now working for CO-OP as a district manager. Made me wonder how got hired.

I had a similar manager at a grocery store here in Portland. He had already been fired/let go from Fred Meyer and Safeway, but the reasons were always hush/hush. But from the behavior I personally witnessed, I would be it sexual harassment related. He was rather cold with all the male employees, but was super nice and touchy-feely with the female employees, especially the younger ones (< 30).

The was also a rumor that he had bugged the main office, so he could listen to whatever was being said when he wasn't in there. Seems far fetched, but not long after I said something disparaging to a co-worker about him in the office, my hours were mysteriously cut in half and shifts went from early morning to close. He was eventually fired/let go again.

The real skeevy thing? He was a girls softball coach for a local rec district (ages 13-16) and as far as I can tell, still is.

[ricosuave]

Now there is an accompanying men's movement: #HowIWillChange...

https://www.boredpanda.com/howiwillc...=1&_f=trending

[V]

I had no idea it was so weird to tell my boy he looks good when he dresses up. People are asking that question like you'd be crazy to even think about it.

[OMG!WTF!]

Originally Posted by gallione11

I had a similar manager at a grocery store here in Portland. He had already been fired/let go from Fred Meyer and Safeway, but the reasons were always hush/hush. But from the behavior I personally witnessed, I would be it sexual harassment related. He was rather cold with all the male employees, but was super nice and touchy-feely with the female employees, especially the younger ones (< 30).

The was also a rumor that he had bugged the main office, so he could listen to whatever was being said when he wasn't in there. Seems far fetched, but not long after I said something disparaging to a co-worker about him in the office, my hours were mysteriously cut in half and shifts went from early morning to close. He was eventually fired/let go again.

The real skeevy thing? He was a girls softball coach for a local rec district (ages 13-16) and as far as I can tell, still is.

This is an interesting read about Quinton Tarantino in a vaguely similar situation with Harvey Weinstein...

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/10/1...&_r=0&referer=

I think the point is you should at least not be afraid to tell someone about the possibly creepy softball coach. Of course you need some degree of certainty before you go throwing mud around. Ultimately if it's first hand experience you have, you should pursue it. This is one thing I would do differently in the future. No free passes.

[GreenLantern2814]

I'm sitting in Earls lounge watching a plays of the month countdown. Tyreek Hill, who definitely beat the #### out of his pregnant girlfriend, is on there returning a kickoff for a touchdown.

If you watch a Tyreek Hill highlight and ignore his history because he takes the rock to the house, you're scum.

I have seen an appalling number of young men walking around in public wearing jerseys of athletes accused of sexual assault this summer. Derrick Rose, Ben Roethlisberger, Patrick Kane, Kobe Bryant, the list is not small.

I've seen way more accused sexual predator jerseys than I have Colin Kaepernick shirts.

Don't put ####ty humans in the plays of the month. That guy returning the punt is fast. He also beat the #### out of his pregnant girlfriend. #### him.

[Mr.Coffee]

I thought Patrick Kane was determined to have not done the alleged act?

[photon]

Originally Posted by GreenLantern2814

I have seen an appalling number of young men walking around in public wearing jerseys of athletes accused of sexual assault this summer. Derrick Rose, Ben Roethlisberger, Patrick Kane, Kobe Bryant, the list is not small.

It's one thing if I, through my words or actions, send a message to a few women that I trivialize sexual assault.

But wearing a jersey like that sends the message to every one that sees it, all day long.

[Caged Great]

I might be the only one that has never had a problem with anything like that personally. Mind you, I have been self employed and when I would go to bars, it was me and a bunch of women so it wasn't like I was in many situations where that'd be a problem. Plus being a taller guy helps I suppose.

I have known a lot of people though who have gone through a bunch of horrors and have helped give advice to them. I always try to treat people with courtesy and respect. Never have I said a disrespectful word towards anyone. Just isn't me. Always willing to argue ideas with anyone, but once that's done go for beers and be cheerful.

[calgaryblood]

Originally Posted by Mr.Coffee

I thought Patrick Kane was determined to have not done the alleged act?

Yep, he doesn't belong on that list.

[bigtmac19]

The story that just came out from Lupita Nyongo is equally awful. What an absolute piece of crap this guy is, just a bully and a predator. If you listen to the recording from one of the girls he harassed, it's scary how he worked his game, it would have been so intimidating.

[GirlySports]

Originally Posted by bigtmac19

The story that just came out from Lupita Nyongo is equally awful. What an absolute piece of crap this guy is, just a bully and a predator. If you listen to the recording from one of the girls he harassed, it's scary how he worked his game, it would have been so intimidating.

I hope other prominent directors and producers are named. The Weinstein stories have a name, that's just piling on.

Like Reese Witherspoon is saying she was sexually assaulted 'by a director' at 16. Who? This is an opportunity to name names. Name 'All the other Harveys"