How do you do it?

[Dion]

I'm a 64 year old male who has a group of 8-10 friends that I go for dinner with every Thursday night. We feel it's important to have a sense of community where we can talk about the things that trouble us and to share a few laughs.

I find purpose through helping others. Most recently I was a care giver to my late mother who passed away last year. In the past I volunteered in nursing homes and with the Special Olympics program.

Happiness can come from doing things you enjoy. My summer is filled with endless rounds of golf and in the winter it's time spent in the pool or playing basketball at the field house. Of course there's hockey on TV or live at the local arena.

I find it's important to be grateful for things we have as opposed to wanting more and more. The more material things you own the more it owns you. Simplify your life.

When I was living in Calgary I used the Calgary Counseling Center to help me deal with my mental health issues. Fees are on a sliding scale based on what you can afford.

[Matata]

Our society is youth obsessed and has a very nihilistic outlook on aging. I fundamentally disagree with this and any form of nihilism. I think the purpose of life is to learn and grow, and while age will impact what avenues of growth are available to you, i think development at later ages is just as valuable as earlier ages.

If you want to change your mental state in a hurry, go camping, eat some magic mushrooms and spend some time thinking about how amazing and beautiful everything is.

Learn yoga, yoga is amazing at subverting the negative physical effects of aging, i dont think anything else really even comes close for the same level of effort.

[PepsiFree]

Alternatively, accepting that nothing matters and life has no objective meaning and is really just a chaotic mess from start to finish frees you up to embrace whatever you decide matters to you like it’s the most important thing in the world (because it is) and find whatever subjective meaning you can.

I don’t really care about work, I just do it to have money to spend on things I enjoy and experiences I value. I spend most days trying to find enjoyment in whatever I can, knowing that ultimately if I’m not enjoying myself there isn’t any point to anything and that enjoying things is a decision I can make. I take things less seriously than most people but find it fun to play along sometimes.

I think having people that love you and people that you love is one of the most essential things you can have for a good life. That’s really all there is to it. If you’ve achieved that, you have all you need externally for a good life, so just focus your efforts on making the time you spend with those people as special as possibles

I find most advice pretty bunk, including the advice I just gave. Therapy is good to adjust your mindset, it can be super important actually, especially if you’re finding yourself preferring the idea of death over life. But outside of that, it’s really just a mindset shift. It’s not about activities or anything like that, those things come later.

[GordonBlue]

Originally Posted by CMPunk

I guess what I mean is, what motivates you to keep getting up day after day and living your life?

It's my 46th birthday this week and for the last 6 months to a year, my thoughts have gone to how much longer I want to live. The thought of living another 20-40 years just seems like a nightmare to me. My body is already breaking down, I already feel my memory going due to concussions and a family history of Alzheimer's. I can't imagine life in a nursing home, if I could even afford it.

I don't have any kids, I don't have many friends thanks to COVID and marriage. I usually work 6 days a week at two jobs to try and keep the bills paid, as I am not one of the CP elite. The only real social activity I have is hockey once or twice a week. I have family and a girlfriend that loves me, but it still doesn't feel like enough motivation to keep going.

If the Doctor told me I wasn't going to live past 50, I think that would be the biggest weight off my shoulders ever. The thought of not having to do this all anymore would be a huge relief to me. I think I'd be much happier at that point. I could make arrangements to have my loved ones taken care of, sell the house and enjoy myself one final time before that final day comes.

And yes, I will be talking to my doctor about this, however the cost of mental health isn't cheap. I think my benefits maybe cover two or three visits. I have reached out to EAP before as well, but they will only cover a handful of visits.

So how's your day been?

sorry to hear.
I'm in the same boat. I'm sad you're not well, but in a way I feel better to not be alone as even coming here it generally seems to be sunshine and lollipops for people.

I wake up every day slightly disappointed that I lived through the night.

Without going into detail, every aspect of my life is crap and it's all falling apart, and I can't keep it together any more.
for example,
The "highlight" of my day yesterday was calling some creditors and explaining I just can't pay them this month and to please work with me, only to come home and find out my wife spent $60 at the grocery store when she was only supposed to spend $20. I have only about $20 for my family for the next 4 days to cover ANYTHING that comes up.

nothing like having having the constant shame of being on the older side and instead of being in a comfortable place, feeling like a failure to even be able to provide the basics for your family.

It's amazing how much advice from people for mental health involves things that cost money no matter if it's therapy or activities.

[stone hands]

It's unfortunate that mental health services cost money, but it is the right answer. If you're dying of thirst, the solution is still to drink water, even if youre in the desert and there isnt any around. I hope you guys who need therapy are able to get it some day or as a society we start to cover mental health services on the same level as other medical services, because it's really as, if not more important.

On topic, in the last few years I've discovered stoic philosophy and it's been really helpful in being a guiding force in both actions and thought, and even more recently I've started to learn about Buddhist philosophy which is strikingly similar in the ways that matter to me. In the west we treat mental health with a stigma and very clinically, when suffering is a very universal human experience that meditation and self reflection can really help with. I'm not a religious person so I personally treat stuff like reincarnation and other mystical things in buddhism like you would humor an uncle talking about some inane thing at a family gathering, but the core of being present and sitting with yourself are really powerful and worth it

[CroFlames]

Originally Posted by photon

I've gone through a couple of phases like that, I think the common thing for them for me was there was just too much stuff. Too many things going on, too much time spent doing things, to many things to focus on.

I just turned 50 and I find my tolerance for having lots of things going on has decreased over the years.

When I was younger I could handle lots of rental properties and house flips and being involved in different things, and when things were challenging like job problems with me then my wife or raising a kid with Aspergers I could handle it and feel like I was still doing what I wanted... but over time it all really started to drain me and over time I've just had to start removing things until I found the level I could manage. Professional help has definitely been instrumental in helping get through the hard times.

Now that I've been there for a bit I've been able to do some things I couldn't before. I'm at the point where I want to maybe start adding some things but adding different things, things I think will make me happy rather than things that I expect of my self or I think others expect of me. Or changing things that before I felt like I couldn't change because of what others might think.

I like this answer. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed; work and managing people and projects, kids activities, raising kids to be functioning people, house projects and improvements, personal finance, oh don't forget about the wife so she doesn't feel neglected. Keep up with current events, a mad man started a land war in Eastern Europe again, fantasy sports, video games and personal hobbies when you get a chance. It never stops.

Our ancient ancestors entire purpose in life was find a mate and find food. Keeping it simple might be the answer to life. Easier said than done of course.

[photon]

Originally Posted by CroFlames

Keeping it simple might be the answer to life. Easier said than done of course.

Easy to say harder to do for sure, I am definitely thankful that I've had my extended family to support me and I've been fortunate that I was able to work through and recover from the financial challenges.

[SutterBrother]

Mental Health = Health

Most people go to a doctor once a year, a dentist every 6 months, but seldom see a mental health professional. Do it. It’ll help.

[Matata]

There's hundreds of hours of free yoga lessons on youtube and magic mushrooms will take you to mars for $20.

[Puppet Guy]

If it weren't for al the creative stuff I'd be in a much worse place than now. I guess having an avenue to put energy into when work doesn't fill the space is key. Pencils and paper aren't pricey and they can carry you a long way.

[PepsiFree]

Therapy is for sure expensive, but it’s also worth pointing out that a lot of behaviour therapy methods can be found online (CBT for instance) and really just take consistent, long term practice to work, same as you’d find in an office but the difference being you’re the one guiding yourself through it.

Your family doctor can also prescribe medication for depression and anxiety if there is a sense that the issue is related to that.

Originally Posted by Matata

There's hundreds of hours of free yoga lessons on youtube and magic mushrooms will take you to mars for $20.

The guy is in his 40s looking for insight on how to keep the will to live not a 25 year old looking for directions to Burning Man.

[CroFlames]

Originally Posted by PepsiFree

Therapy is for sure expensive, but it’s also worth pointing out that a lot of behaviour therapy methods can be found online (CBT for instance) and really just take consistent, long term practice to work, same as you’d find in an office but the difference being you’re the one guiding yourself through it.

Your family doctor can also prescribe medication for depression and anxiety if there is a sense that the issue is related to that.



The guy is in his 40s looking for insight on how to keep the will to live not a 25 year old looking for directions to Burning Man.

Yes but a 40 year old watching a 25 year old instructor doing yoga can have some positive health benefits in and of itself.

[Matata]

I have every intention of doing psychedelics a few times in my 40s, there's even a decent chance I'll go to burning man and I feel bad for people that think that age has to limit their options in this way. The greatest tragedy people inflict upon themselves as they get older is they think they're not allowed to indulge in silly fun anymore and that all that's left for them to do is to grump their way into a grave.

[afc wimbledon]

Originally Posted by Matata

I have every intention of doing psychedelics a few times in my 40s, there's even a decent chance I'll go to burning man and I feel bad for people that think that age has to limit their options in this way. The greatest tragedy people inflict upon themselves as they get older is they think they're not allowed to indulge in silly fun anymore and that all that's left for them to do is to grump their way into a grave.

sadly its not my age or my inclination, its just my arthritis, there is just too much that is too painful to be fun anymore

[Cali Panthers Fan]

Or...and hear me out here...we all matured and grew out of that phase.

[81MC]

Matured. Aged into bores. Who’s to say?

[TrentCrimmIndependent]

Figure out what makes you feel alive and do more of that. But most importantly don't apologize or feel badly for going after it.

1 in 400 trillion shot at life .. You won an 80 year vacation to this blue sphere in 3 dimensional space! You have the freedom to do what you want. So what do you want to do?

[Ozy_Flame]

PIPPIN: I didn't think it would end this way.

GANDALF: End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it.

PIPPIN: What? Gandalf? See what?

GANDALF: White shores, and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.

PIPPIN: Well, that isn't so bad.

GANDALF: No. No, it isn't.

[Erick Estrada]

Sorry to hear some of you are feeling like this. Since I was a child I have struggled with anxiety and low self-esteem so I know what it feels like to wonder what is the point of all this but I have come around over the years and have a much more positive outlook on life. I am proof that things can change for the better if you get help, distance yourself from any negatives in your life, focus on the good things, and be the best person you can be. Don't ever give in without putting up a fight.

[Ozy_Flame]

Your body is just a vessel. When you go to sleep at night and have dreams, the world is your oyster and you create environments that aren't limited by age, time or space. Dreams arepossible throughout the entirety of your life. They do not have the same limits.

We sit by the window and let our minds wander into escapism. Our sense of adventure, worth, and spirit are driven to help drive us forward to make the most of our short blip of time on this planet. You certainly don't have to make the most of it, but know that your existence is this universe may transcend beyond this corporeal vessel you are currently in. Do what makes you happy, what you're interested in, and don't let other vessels tell you what you should be doing.

If you want to sit on the couch and veg, do it. You don't have to be a perfect human being according to someone else's expectations. We are all our own worst critics.

Experience this weird bag of protein and the consciousness attached to it in your own unique way and take that experience with you into the next life.