Dating Advice: Calling and texting etiquette

[zarrell]

[QUOTE=8 Ball;7284737]

Originally Posted by VladtheImpaler

This is where my two history degrees really paid off - my written communication was always top notch. If text is how you communicate with dates and how they judge you, I suggest working on your vocabulary, grammar and written humour. You might be getting "dropped" for the most superficial reasons, such as poor grammar or because your writing is bland. Back during my online dating days I developed pretty much a "stock" communications package that would pretty much guarantee me a fair shot. This is really no different than PR or advertising - know your medium and work on your message.[/QUOTE



Who would of thought that having two history degrees would help you text girls properly? Money well spent.

No date for you!

[getbak]

Originally Posted by VladtheImpaler

Resulted in 3 marriages - can't put a price on that.

I'm sure your lawyer could though.

[Cecil Terwilliger]

History degrees may help you write well but definitely do not help you talk to girls. That’s totally different. Not unless you’re sending her position papers as texts as to why she should date you.

[VladtheImpaler]

Originally Posted by getbak

I'm sure your lawyer could though.

Luckily (?), I was flat broke for my 2 divorces.

[VladtheImpaler]

Originally Posted by Cecil Terwilliger

History degrees may help you write well but definitely do not help you talk to girls. That’s totally different. Not unless you’re sending her position papers as texts as to why she should date you.

It is all part of the impression you create, but, sure, you have to be able to give a live sales pitch too. History is not too bad for spoken expression either...

[Dion]

[Sainters7]

Yeah the texting is annoying. I'm 38 and after what felt like a lifetime of being in a relationship, I've been back in the dating game the past year plus, man it's changed a lot from the early 2000s. Yeah the endless texting is so annoying! In some ways it's a lot easier than those awkward early phone calls that felt like interviews, it's easier to avoid those awkward pauses and stuff. I just hate how it's an endless all day/night thing. Especially right at the beginning, when maybe you've got 2-3 you met on tinder or whatever where you're talking to all of them trying to figure out which one you like best, it's just an endless non-stop text fest the entire day/night. Feel like throwing my phone out the window after a while!

Yeah the ghosting is annoying, I don't know what it's like for women dealing with men in that regard, but at least in my experience some women can be bad for just ghosting out of the blue when I guess they've decided you ain't it...it's a bit cold, I'm guessing that's fallout from this now text-heavy version of meeting someone which is a bit more impersonal. And thus I guess easier in their mind to just cut it off on a dime, rather than dealing with that awkwardness of telling them sorry but I ain't feeling it.

Regarding the ghosting, I think just with tinder and stuff, it's so much easier to meet someone new than it used to be, it's almost like people get ADD with only one person and quickly switch to the new person they just matched with, after a couple weeks or whatever of that other person they've been talking to. A lot more competition for sure, with dating apps. If you've already been out with her and seemed well enough and then suddenly out of the blue she vanishes, especially if you met her on a dating site, there's a good chance she matched with someone new who's currently got her attention now.

[Frank MetaMusil]

How often are you texting?

The more you get out and meet women, the easier it is to figure out what works. When you have options it won't matter if they ghost.

Go out and get the numbers up.

[Duruss]

I gave up on the texting/online dating due to small town and low pop. Those chats I did have were like pulling teeth, it should not be that hard to chat sheesh.

[GirlySports]

How are you meeting these women? Aren't you just going out on a date right away? If she's interested she'll go. What is this cooling off and waiting to text and getting ghosted thing?

For example, if you got introduced to someone at lunch in a group setting, you should arrange to meet in the evening right away (could be alone or with some other mutual friends). I would go if I were single and interested from the first interaction.

I have come across a new trend in my dating life where I meet a girl, chat her up a bit that day or over the course of a few days, weeks etc and then ask for a phone number to take them out on a date. All goes well, get a number, girl seems excited, surprised, interested etc

days, weeks? in this instant world, by the time she walks 10 feet from you, she's on her phone seeing if any other guy has texted her.


The day you chat her up is the day you get ask for her number, and make a date. Assertiveness and confidence is the key. Because she's also unsure if you like her or not unless you ask.

[Duruss]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

How are you meeting these women? Aren't you just going out on a date right away? If she's interested she'll go. What is this cooling off and waiting to text and getting ghosted thing?

For example, if you got introduced to someone at lunch in a group setting, you should arrange to meet in the evening right away (could be alone or with some other mutual friends). I would go if I were single and interested from the first interaction.

I try to ask quickly but some girls want to get to know you a little first via text/messaging. I want to meet face to face to see if there is a connection, or if I even like how they laugh.

[squiggs96]

My best advice is definitely to listen to the guys in this thread that are in their 50s and 60s and who are single. Their proven methods are guaranteed effective.

[GirlySports]

Originally Posted by Duruss

I try to ask quickly but some girls want to get to know you a little first via text/messaging. I want to meet face to face to see if there is a connection, or if I even like how they laugh.

Yes, if you met through texting first then texting takes awhile.
But if you met in person first, it makes no sense to start texting.

[Scorch]

Originally Posted by squiggs96

My best advice is definitely to listen to the guys in this thread that are in their 50s and 60s and who are single. Their proven methods are guaranteed effective.

Texting? Back in their day, you can’t text on a rotary phone!

Millennials!

[peter12]

It's a numbers game. If you don't click, you don't click and ghosting is the easiest way to avoid drama - especially from the gal's perspective. If you have a good day on Tinder and match with 10-15 women, a corresponding woman will have matched with 5 or 6 times that number in men. And all those men are blasting her with DMs of varying quality and grossness.

My advice, be funny.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by squiggs96

My best advice is definitely to listen to the guys in this thread that are in their 50s and 60s and who are single. Their proven methods are guaranteed effective.

[btimbit]

I can't decide what is worse, the current dating scene or the crippling loneliness that keeps me up at night

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by peter12

My advice, be funny.

And/or attractive.

[WhiteTiger]

Originally Posted by rubecube

And/or attractive.

And/or rich

[rubecube]

Also just to touch on the texting vs. calling thing, I think much of it has to do with the proliferation of cell phones vs. landlines. Back when people only had landlines, it made sense to call them because, if they answered, it meant they probably have a few minutes to talk and you're not interrupting them. You call someone's cell and they could be anywhere and at that point your call becomes a nuisance.