"Me Too"

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

Hollywood needs to decide what it wants to be. Sure people like Tarantino are coming out now after the fact. "I'm sooo sorry that I knew the whole time but didn't say anything." Does anyone step up and name others now? People must know.

Or does Hollywood decide that sex for money or for a part in a movie is just a normal consented transaction and is nobody's business (like it's always been). That's the Libertarian view isn't it?

Jesus Christ, Girly.

[GGG]

Originally Posted by wittynickname

He and Roethlisberger are in the same boat, charges never filed or dismissed because of "circumstances." Sexual assault is hard to prove, especially in a case like one of Roethlisberger's accusations, where there was a shady meeting of his people with her and suddenly charges went away.

Neither were exonerated, but the problem went away and their respective teams/leagues went on the Redemption PR tour for them.

I don't think you can put Kane anywhere near the category of roethlisberger.

Kane was as exonerated as you can get from the district attorney

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports...htmlstory.html

[Weitz]

Originally Posted by GGG

I don't think you can put Kane anywhere near the category of roethlisberger.

Kane was as exonerated as you can get from the district attorney

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports...htmlstory.html

Yup. Roethlisberger paid off his woman. Huge difference.

[calgaryblood]

Originally Posted by rubecube

Jesus Christ, Girly.

She's just asking questions

[Grimbl420]

I need to say that I extremely disappointed at the reaction of people here and around social media to men who've tried to share their Me Too story.

Harassment is absolutely not a gendered issue and the shaming of male victims into silence over their abuse during this is sickening to me.


Edit-

I'd like to add that it took me 3 day to post this comment because of fear of the backlash I'd face for this opinion.

[photon]

Why would you face backlash for saying it's wrong to shame or silence victims regardless of their gender? I think everyone in the thread would agree with that.

[Grimbl420]

Because it's been made abundantly clear that men are not welcome to share their abuse stories with the Me Too moniker, and I'm standing up for those men.

[MarchHare]

Originally Posted by Grimbl420

Because it's been made abundantly clear that men are not welcome to share their abuse stories with the Me Too moniker, and I'm standing up for those men.

Nobody -- NOBODY -- is saying that men and boys cannot be victims of sexual abuse or harassment or that those people are unwelcome to receive support. The point of the #MeToo campaign, though, is to show just how prevalent of an issue this is among women in particular. Sexual harassment is something that practically all women and girls have to deal with in their lives, which has come as a shock to many men based on their reactions to the sheer volume of women they know sharing their stories with the #MeToo hashtag. By comparison, a much lower (but non-zero, granted) percentage of men are victims of sexual harassment. Men participating in #MeToo, a campaign that from its outset was specifically designed to highlight just how common sexual harassment is for women, is akin to white people posting #AllLivesMatter.

[TheAlpineOracle]

Originally Posted by Grimbl420

Because it's been made abundantly clear that men are not welcome to share their abuse stories with the Me Too moniker, and I'm standing up for those men.

It’s not viewed as abuse towards man. There’s a complete double standard.

I’m not putting this in the same category or even stratosphere as Weinstein, but go to the bars for a night here in Calgary and watch it with your own eyes. Groups of women have no problem cat calling guys, slapping their ass when they are walking by, walking into the men’s Washroom because there is less of a line. A man does those things and he probably catches a charge.

I’m in no means putting down the message behind this “me too” campaign but when I see some of my women friends on Facebook basically suggesting they are somewhat morally superior to men, I have to laugh as some of them are no better. Saying men Can’t be part of that campaign is pretty ridiculous. Kind of takes away from the campaign in my opinion.

Social media campaigns have a way of doing that though. Start out as something good, but everyone starts making them about themselves and the original message quickly gets left behind

[TheAlpineOracle]

Originally Posted by MarchHare

Nobody -- NOBODY -- is saying that men and boys cannot be victims of sexual abuse or harassment or that those people are unwelcome to receive support. The point of the #MeToo campaign, though, is to show just how prevalent of an issue this is among women in particular. Sexual harassment is something that practically all women and girls have to deal with in their lives, which has come as a shock to many men based on their reactions to the sheer volume of women they know sharing their stories with the #MeToo hashtag. By comparison, a much lower (but non-zero, granted) percentage of men are victims of sexual harassment. Men participating in #MeToo, a campaign that from its outset was specifically designed to highlight just how common sexual harassment is for women, is akin to white people posting #AllLivesMatter.

I would argue that a significant portion of the male population has also experienced some form of sexual harassment but don’t acknowledge it and maybe that’s part of the problem. Hard to acknowledge you maybe harassing someone when you don’t acknowledge even when you are bei H harassed.

[Grimbl420]

Originally Posted by MarchHare

Nobody -- NOBODY -- is saying that men and boys cannot be victims of sexual abuse or harassment or that those people are unwelcome to receive support. The point of the #MeToo campaign, though, is to show just how prevalent of an issue this is among women in particular. Sexual harassment is something that practically all women and girls have to deal with in their lives, which has come as a shock to many men based on their reactions to the sheer volume of women they know sharing their stories with the #MeToo hashtag. By comparison, a much lower (but non-zero, granted) percentage of men are victims of sexual harassment. Men participating in #MeToo, a campaign that from its outset was specifically designed to highlight just how common sexual harassment is for women, is akin to white people posting #AllLivesMatter.

By continuing to make this a gendered issue when it's absolutely not!!! is my exact problem with the campaign. Ignoring victims of harassment and shaming them when they speak up because of their gender is the problem we're trying to get rid of.

[Cole436]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

Hollywood needs to decide what it wants to be. Sure people like Tarantino are coming out now after the fact. "I'm sooo sorry that I knew the whole time but didn't say anything." Does anyone step up and name others now? People must know.

Or does Hollywood decide that sex for money or for a part in a movie is just a normal consented transaction and is nobody's business (like it's always been). That's the Libertarian view isn't it?

Jesus Christ. How can you view the world like this?

[GGG]

Originally Posted by Grimbl420

By continuing to make this a gendered issue when it's absolutely not!!! is my exact problem with the campaign. Ignoring victims of harassment and shaming them when they speak up because of their gender is the problem we're trying to get rid of.

First you need to ask what was the purpose and goals of the #metoo campaign. It does not appear to have ever been about ending harassment in general. It appears to have to goals. Let Men know what harasssment is, how common it is, and how victims feel and two to let women know they are not alone and should come forward

If you note the harassment of men is not in any part of the above. So men who have been harassed sharing as part of the #metoo campaign is like talking Oilers hockey on a Flames board and complaining about being shunned.

Now why this is important is that I feel that the urge for men to share harassment stories is to defend the male gender. (This feeling is based on my own personal experiences). It's a reaction to seeing so much pain that instead of saying Men need to fix their behaviour we want to amplify voices that make it seem like it is a societal problem in general. It's much easier to talk as a male about people not harassing people than acknowledging wants contribution to the Patriarchy that makes male harassment of females widespread and severe.

By all means at some point in time the issue of harassment of men should be addressed by our society but picking the time to do that when the issue of harassment of women is at its peak visibility is not appropriate. The causes, solutions and ubiquitous of the issues are not the same. Pick a different hashtag and wait until the #metoo voices have been heard.

[Grimbl420]

Originally Posted by GGG

First you need to ask what was the purpose and goals of the #metoo campaign. It does not appear to have ever been about ending harassment in general. It appears to have to goals. Let Men know what harasssment is, how common it is, and how victims feel and two to let women know they are not alone and should come forward

I find the idea that men don't know what harassment is offensive, and akin to teach men not to rape campaigns. It only further serves the narrative that men are perpetrators and women are victims.

If you note the harassment of men is not in any part of the above. So men who have been harassed sharing as part of the #metoo campaign is like talking Oilers hockey on a Flames board and complaining about being shunned.

You can't seriously be comparing shaming oilers fans to shaming actual sexual harassment victims. This mentality to male victims is exactly the problem that I'm talking about. you should be ashamed of this statement.

[Grimbl420]

It should never matter when men speak up about being a victim for people to listen to them, just like we do for women, or you know equality.

[Thor]

Its simply the same idiots who chant #alllivesmatter when BLM is protesting.

The #metoo campaign has been about the systematic abuse that has been place of men in power over women abusing their positions of authority, and of course it has branched off from that to other more general issues of abuse for girls, women and of course men.

I can't say I have seen any of the men who have posted their stories on FB being attacked for it.

But for me the whole thing has been very powerful because its creating a huge discussion everywhere, from family dinners, to at work places and that ultimately is I think the whole point as there is clearly a major issue that it seems people underestimate the size and scope of the problem.

Hopefully it does some good, I think it already has simply by becoming this massive discussion happening all over the world.

[EldrickOnIce]

Nm

[DownInFlames]

Originally Posted by Grimbl420

I find the idea that men don't know what harassment is offensive, and akin to teach men not to rape campaigns. It only further serves the narrative that men are perpetrators and women are victims.

Way too many men don't know what harassment is. That's exactly what #metoo has shown.

Men can be victims of harassment. No one is saying any different, and I've experienced it myself, but the stats show overwhelmingly that it's men who are the perpetrators. It's not offensive to say the truth unless you have an agenda against women.

[Harry Lime]

Originally Posted by Cole436

Jesus Christ. How can you view the world like this?

I don't think that she's 'viewing the world like this', I think that she is viewing the world.

Every year we seem to have a worthy cause that can change the world for the better, but once the fervor dies down, the old guard comes back in and exerts dominance.

It's depressing. The only option for change is to clean house right away, and that would mean naming names. It can't end with Harvey, or its likely the culture will reassert itself.

I guess the problem is that either there has to be definitive proof of abuse, or a number of complaints that can't be denied.

Or a social media option, that could be damaging to innocent people.

[photon]

Originally Posted by Grimbl420

You can't seriously be comparing shaming oilers fans to shaming actual sexual harassment victims. This mentality to male victims is exactly the problem that I'm talking about. you should be ashamed of this statement.

It's an analogy, not a direct comparison. You're misinterpreting what was said and reacting to that.

His point is valid, trying to interject into a discussion and change the topic can definitely be viewed as an attempt to subvert or trivialize the topic, even if that's not the intent. Especially since that actually is a real tactic by some when women talk about sexual assault. Blame those that truly are trying to subvert or poison the discussion that it is viewed that way.

If I was trying to raise awareness about sexual assault on men, and I was going to start #mentoo discussion, I certainly wouldn't do it right after #metoo becomes prevalent, otherwise it looks like I'm trying to distract or diminish. I'd wait until there was space for it.