The Snotboy story

[Fozzie_DeBear]

FAN-TAS-TIC story, could anyone write a more vivid and compellingly vile story?

I think not....

Kudos

ROFLMAO*2

[Cheese]

bump again...cuz it needs to be at the top. An all star post!

[Frank the Tank]

Originally posted by Cheese@Aug 3 2005, 09:12 PM
never let this thread disappear...all newbies need to read it...one of the best laffs I have had.

That was the case when I signed up. It was a rite of passage sort of thing. There was another one with somebody going to Ponderosa and having dual-ended bowel/stomach evacuation and their wife having to run across the street to buy new clothes for the poor bas**rd because the present outfit got coated in the confines of the washroom stall.

Both awesome stories.

[89revival]

A classic!

Thanks Reg, and KC.

[Cheese]

bumped back

[Ace]

Originally posted by Frank the Tank@Aug 8 2005, 10:34 AM
There was another one with somebody going to Ponderosa and having dual-ended bowel/stomach evacuation and their wife having to run across the street to buy new clothes for the poor bas**rd because the present outfit got coated in the confines of the washroom stall.

Yeah can anyone re-post that story?

[Frank the Tank]

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy!! hahahahahahaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

God bless potty humour. Thanks for finding that again Fotze!

[oly74]

OMG that was disgusting.

Hilarious though.

[Eastern Girl]

LOL, what a colourful story! One to pass on to the grandkiddies, I'd say...

and I learned something too.... "The move," very interesting.

[Pagal4321]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Fotze, that is really one of the funniest things I've EVER EVER heard.

This thread HAS to go in the hall of fame now.

[Frank the Tank]

My story from several months ago:

Many moons ago when I first signed up after months of lurking, there was a certain "right of passage" wherein new members were asked to read two classic stories. One involved a public bus in Ecuador(?) and a very dirty, smelly ######ed pre-teen local kid smearing his nose jelly all over the bus to the horror of the storyteller. (I can't remember who, maybe Hulkrogan?) The second involved Reggie or Lanny I think and a very unfortunate Ponderosa bathroom incident where both ends were evacuating at the same time.

My point? As "grown up" as i try to be, stories like these crack me up beyond all beleif. The grosser, more vile and more unintentional, the better for me. My wife CONSTANTLY reminds me that I have the sense of humour of a 13 year old. Ah, its good to be a man.

I happily read the stories, laughing uncontrolably for days, all the time thinking to myself "Oh I hope I can witness something as grand as these two stories one day".

Well my friends, that day has arrived and I will share with you the funniest snot story I have ever witnessed. Be warned!

Things at work are at the start of our traditional slow period, so there are lots of extra days off and such, half days, things like that. My job rocks. Well, I come in the other morning, read the paper for two hours and the boss tells me to get the hell outta here. Not one to argue, I bolt for the door. I jump in my car and realize that the wife and the son are out all afternoon doing "mommy play group" stuff so i have a few choices. I can go home and cut the lawn and work around the house, or, I can make some calls and convince some of my slacker friends to take the afternoon off. I call my buddy Mike, who is a lawyer and basically sets his own schedule, and tell him my good news. He informs me that he will gladly take the afternoon off and suggests that we hit the movies after lunch as i haven't been out to a movie since my son was born. (10 months)

I pick up Mike at his fancy-pants law office and we head out for lunch. Its the usual lunch-banter, "how is the boy?", "good", "how is your girlfriend?", "good", "wow are waitress has an awesome bum", you know, the usual.

We hit the theatre and jump in line for tickets. There are maybe half a dozen people in line and we all kind of bottleneck at the usher taking the ticket stubs as he is unusually slow. Then it happened. The moment I had been waiting for. The payoff.

Now for whatever reason, all of this seemed to happen in slow motion for me. It was one of those times like when I have an "on" game at pickup, everything slows down, I can see things before they happen and I'm pulling Iginla-esque moves out of my behind. Needless to say, those moments are few.

Mike and I are chatting in line, watching the usher, trying to guage our "get your ticket ready" moment when the usher reaches out to take the next guys ticket. Its millimeters from his hand when buddy handing him the ticket has one of those "no warning" sneezes and a four foot long string of snot FLIES out of the guys nose right for the ushers hand with the velocity of a Tomahawk missle! The usher recoils in horror, throwing his hands up and jumping back, buddy has no idea what to do and tries to catch the Tomahawk snot in his hand, but at this point it is so long that his arms aren't long enough to corral the spawn of satan dangling from his nose. He runs down the hall to exorcise his demon and the usher just looks at Mike and I with that WTF just happened? look on his face.

Mike and I were both crying we were laughing so hard and had to miss the previews of our movie because we couldn't stop laughing.

Immature? Yes. Juvenile? Yes. Funny? Hell yes!

I told my wife and she looked at me in disgust and said "boys are gross".

I then proceeded to strip naked and show her how I can clap with no hands. (I keed, I keed)

[Eastern Girl]

Aw, another classy story. LOL

Honestly though, I can handle most bodily fluid stories, but snot.... ugh. If I had witnessed that, I would have thrown up immediately or at least, I would have been gagging incessantly. I echo your wifes sentiment that boys are gross

[Frank the Tank]

Originally posted by Eastern Girl@Sep 7 2005, 01:43 PM
Aw, another classy story. LOL

Honestly though, I can handle most bodily fluid stories, but snot.... ugh. If I had witnessed that, I would have thrown up immediately or at least, I would have been gagging incessantly. I echo your wifes sentiment that boys are gross

Ya but we can clap with no hands!

[dustygoon]

Fotze.....that was fataing funny. The event is funny but it is mostly in the telling of it.

Your wife must be one of the good ones for putting up with your shinguard.

In the future....please caveat that these stories should not be read at work!

[troutman]

the armpit of the earth QUITO

I think Quito is an awesome city. I spent one month there in 1993-4. A UNESCO World Heritage site.

[oddsrule]

That Ryan's Steakhouse story was easily the funniest thing I have ever read in this forum ..... BUMP

[rockstar]

Wow.

[La Flames Fan]

OH MY GOD! HILARITY! How did I miss this thread!?!?!

[Reggie Dunlop]

The Snotboy Story deserves to be made into a movie. What do you think, Ryan?

Get your people on it.

[asmoboba]

Wow, I just saw these for the first time...I loved the snot one, and then was absolutely killing myself laughing during the diarrhea/puke combo...amazing.