09-28-2010, 02:29 PM
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#41
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: CGY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Komskies
I'm just curious if we'll ever get to eat his legs. They sound delicious.
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Are you sure you meant to post that?
__________________
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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09-28-2010, 02:32 PM
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#42
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Calgary
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale
Are you sure you meant to post that?
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You're telling me you've never wanted to eat legs made out of bacon? For shame.
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09-28-2010, 02:32 PM
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#43
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RANDOM USER TITLE CHANGE
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South Calgary
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Komskies
I'm just curious if we'll ever get to eat his legs. They sound delicious.
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Bacon is god's bookmark - Adam Richman
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The Following User Says Thank You to Frank MetaMusil For This Useful Post:
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09-28-2010, 02:33 PM
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#44
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: CGY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Komskies
You're telling me you've never wanted to eat legs made out of bacon? For shame.
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All three of them? Or do we get breakfast sausage too?
__________________
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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09-28-2010, 02:35 PM
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#45
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Atomic Nerd
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Calgary
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale
All three of them? Or do we get breakfast sausage too?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Bacon Legs
I play in a men's league, but I do not think this precludes the involvement of women. I call it a men's league because it's the time I feel most like a REAL MAN.
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Read this again. There's a chance there isn't 3rd leg.
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09-28-2010, 02:36 PM
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#46
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Calgary
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Komskies
I'm just curious if we'll ever get to eat his legs. They sound delicious.
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The Following User Says Thank You to VladtheImpaler For This Useful Post:
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09-28-2010, 02:40 PM
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#47
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: CGY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hack&Lube
Read this again. There's a chance there isn't 3rd leg.
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Ah, I missed that. Ham it is.
__________________
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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09-28-2010, 02:45 PM
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#48
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Calgary
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale
All three of them? Or do we get breakfast sausage too?
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Let me rephrase it.
I want to eat some bacon, even if it's somebodies legs. No homo.
Why are you talking about penis anyways?
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09-28-2010, 02:47 PM
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#49
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: CGY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Komskies
Let me rephrase it.
I want to eat some bacon, even if it's somebodies legs. No homo.
Why are you talking about penis anyways?
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Well I originally thought the OP was a very gay man, but Hack&Lube posted a quote leading me to believe the OP is a woman.
So ham it is.
__________________
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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The Following User Says Thank You to Traditional_Ale For This Useful Post:
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09-28-2010, 02:59 PM
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#50
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Calgary
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Quote:
Originally Posted by puckluck
Lol chill out he is obviously joking and is quite hilarious. You on the other hand sound like you are 90 and mad at the world.
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Chill out? Really?
...And get off my lawn.
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The Following User Says Thank You to Jayems For This Useful Post:
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09-28-2010, 03:03 PM
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#51
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Calgary
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jayems
Chill out? Really?
...And get off my lawn.
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He Carey Price'd you!
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09-28-2010, 03:14 PM
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#52
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Scoring Winger
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Nice try, NSA
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I am a male person. My legs are made of bacon. I am not 90, nor am I a woman or a gay person. None of my genitals are made of ham. I play hockey and my stick is made of pure win.
Can we drop it now?!
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09-28-2010, 03:31 PM
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#53
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First Line Centre
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Sector 7G
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How many genitals do you have?
__________________
The Oilers are like a buffet with one tray of off-brand mac-and-cheese and the rest of it is weird Jell-O
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09-28-2010, 03:34 PM
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#54
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Norm!
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And then it got weird
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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09-29-2010, 10:40 AM
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#55
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Scoring Winger
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Nice try, NSA
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Some people asked me interesting questions about me and my past. Some examples:
“Lol Whut?”
“What is your problem?”
“Ha ha did yer mum drop you in the head when youwere a babey?”
Also some other stuff. I thought I would tell you about myself so that that you know more about me.
I was born on a pirate ship. No, this is not an attempt to invoke the childhood game of making another child stretch the sides of his mouth out and say the words, resulting in a hilarious parody of vulgarity. No, I was born on an actual pirate ship. They wore the skull and crossbone hats and had hooks and said “Yarr” a lot. Hollywood portrayals of pirates are remarkably accurate.
It was a big ship with over 60 crew and we pillaged the coasts of the Caribbean. I grew up surrounded by grisly death and wanton destruction. Mostly, we pirated music. They would take great pains to sneak their ship up to another (often under a false flag) and at the last moment, raise the Jolly Roger and wirelessly download all their MP3s. We would then flee to international waters, narrowly avoiding the Navy on several occasions. Frequently, I would tell them that this sort of pirating did not fall into the criminal realm and was simply a copyright matter, meaning all the violence was really quite unnecessary, and these reminders would often result in beatings. They did not want our lifestyle compromised.
Those ribald buccaneers provided me with some of my greatest memories. When I was twelve, the whole group took me to Disney Land. The outing was mostly magic and fun, and I even got to meet Mickey Mouse! That’s not something just forget. It truly changed me forever and I treasure the memories.
It was on my 17th birthday that my legs were accidentally Baconized™. This is a topic I will not spend much time on, as the trauma to my mind and body are simply too great. Also, the process is so technical and scientific that you would fail to grasp the intricacies and would likely end up less knowledgeable as a result. I would not do that to friends, any more than I would choose to forget meeting a beloved childhood mascot.
It was during a particularly bloody raid (an attempt to secure the entire back catalogue of the Oakridge Boys) that I decided simultaneously to (a) take up hockey and (b) go to law school. I could thus better learn the arts of causing other men physical pain and embarrassment in a social setting, as well as allowing me to get some exercise. Also, I like hockey a lot. I recently got a new stick and I may tell you about it some time.
I have since lost touch with the pirates. During hockey games I occasionally look, with a tear glistening in my eye, to the stands to see if some of me old mateys have come to watch me in me new sport of choice. Alas, no. I am alone out there, except for my teammates, the other team, and the referees. Occasionally the zamboni guy. And, of course, the indelible memories of a certain mouse greeting me while smiling and waving.
This is a good story. It has brought back memories of my upbringing I will never forget. I miss my pirate pals. Every now and then, I find myself standing on some lonely island, scanning the seas for the signs of a tall ship flying the flag of that skull that, to me at least, seems to be smiling. I do not see them. I will dream of the past, remembering the good times and bad. Lost in those distant times, I will sometimes hear a distant, ghostly “yar!”
I will spin excitedly, seeking my old friends and my old life, only to find it was just the wind.
It was always just the wind.
Last edited by Crazy Bacon Legs; 09-29-2010 at 11:30 AM.
Reason: What edit?
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09-29-2010, 10:58 AM
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#56
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Norm!
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__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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09-29-2010, 11:05 AM
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#57
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Atomic Nerd
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Calgary
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joke has gone too far
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12-02-2011, 01:49 PM
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#58
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: In the studio
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nm
Last edited by Heavy Jack; 12-02-2011 at 01:55 PM.
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12-02-2011, 02:11 PM
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#59
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Lifetime Suspension
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Darn, was hoping there would be an update, lol.
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