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Old 09-03-2017, 07:36 PM   #1
81MC
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Hey,
I'll preface: Last time I was on a date, I ended up marrying and spending more than a decade with her. And I was rather young when we met. I haven't been on a date since we split. I'm not honestly looking for a long term, marry me please type situation, but if a relationship ever evolved that way I'd entertain.

I met a lady, she was wonderful blah blah blah. I, like an idiot, let her drive away without asking to see her again. I feel that would have been a welcome proposition. This was a week ago today.
I know where she works (clinical environment), but that is that only way I can figure to reach out to her. I was thinking of sending some flowers with a note and my number...what's the worst that can happen? But someone's said it's been far too long and any interest she had would be gone and I'd better be ready for a serious relationship if reaching out in that manner.

I don't think it's because I'm lonely, or sex-crazed or something causing me to think about her? I just think she was very charming and held herself in in a very refreshing manner.
God, is that desperate?
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Old 09-03-2017, 07:48 PM   #2
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Without knowing anything more than this message, I can't say if she would like it or not, but I see nothing wrong with the idea - assuming she told you where she works as opposed to you just happened to track her down there on your own. (The latter may come across as kind of stalker-ish.)

If she's not receptive to it, then you know that she's not a good match, even though you enjoyed the one date. If she is, then you can have more dates. Just send a small-ish arrangement and then leave it up to her to respond or not.

Last edited by Amethyst; 09-03-2017 at 07:55 PM.
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Old 09-03-2017, 07:54 PM   #3
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Either she says Yes, then great, or she says No and you never hear from her again.

As it stands right now, you're never hearing from her again anyway, so what do you have to lose?
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Old 09-03-2017, 08:11 PM   #4
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How did you go on a date with her but have no way to contact her?

Or did you randomly meet her somewhere and not ask for a follow-up?
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Old 09-03-2017, 08:11 PM   #5
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Interesting user name.

Dating advice for bikers?

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk
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Old 09-03-2017, 08:14 PM   #6
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I'd say go for it, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

I think if people would just be honest and up front with each other, they would be so much happier in the end. All this "the person who shows the least interest has all the power" and ghosting that goes on is what makes dating this days annoying on some level. You enjoyed her company and want to see her again and she presumably didn't think you were a freak since she told you where she works, so tell her. I certainly don't think that you need to go into it with the intention of a serious relationship right away, but if she asks what your expectations are, have an honest answer.
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Old 09-03-2017, 08:16 PM   #7
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I'd reach out to her and see what happens. The worst she could say is no or get lost. You won't know until you take a chance.
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Old 09-03-2017, 08:18 PM   #8
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Dude, if you like her, life's too short not to try. Go for it. Better to have tried and failed than to have left yourself wondering 'what if' for the rest of your life. Atleast you'll know.
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Old 09-03-2017, 08:52 PM   #9
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Assuming you came to know where she works in an appropriate manner, I think that's a great plan. Go for it. And poke fun at yourself in the note for being an idiot and not saying it before she drove off.
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Old 09-03-2017, 08:52 PM   #10
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What?
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Old 09-03-2017, 09:02 PM   #11
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One date and you dont have contact info, dont send flowers. Send just the note.
Or, you know, show up there and ask to see her. But dont sit in the parking lot until she comes out, thats creepy and stalkerish.
I assume you searched social media for her, see if theres a way to contact her that way, friend of a friend of a twitter follower or something.
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Old 09-03-2017, 09:12 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DuffMan View Post
What?
HE WANTS TO KNOW IF HE ASKS THIS WOMAN FOR A DATE, IF IT MEANS HE'S GOING TO MAKE HER THINK HE'S DAHMER OR IF SHE'LL BE ALL "D'awwww, wookit him, so cute".
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Old 09-03-2017, 09:19 PM   #13
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Quote:
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HE WANTS TO KNOW IF HE ASKS THIS WOMAN FOR A DATE, IF IT MEANS HE'S GOING TO MAKE HER THINK HE'S DAHMER OR IF SHE'LL BE ALL "D'awwww, wookit him, so cute".
Ah! Life's little complications.
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Old 09-03-2017, 10:42 PM   #14
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^ Pretty much.
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How did you go on a date with her but have no way to contact her?
Just at a non-familial wedding event, over two brief evenings. And I'm not cool enough to be a biker.
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Old 09-03-2017, 10:48 PM   #15
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If it's from a wedding event I would just ask a mutual friend for their number. If you hit it off there should be nothing wrong with that. I've been on both ends of that and it was fine both ways.
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Old 09-03-2017, 11:00 PM   #16
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I think the flowers might be a bit much.

Couldn't you just find her on Facebook and send a message through there? I don't think it would be weird adding someone on FB after you met them at a mutual event.
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Old 09-03-2017, 11:06 PM   #17
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So she didn't make an effort before she drove away to get your contact information or anything like that?

Did she tell you that she had a good time, did you part with a kiss? a hug? a hearty handshake? A exploding knuckle punch?

And a week has passed on a first date with no contact?

Chances are you're going to send flowers and she's going to say "Who?" unless it was truly memorable date wise.

The bottom line, you have nothing to lose by sending flowers and a nice thoughtful well written note. Not just a "I had a great time, plow you later".

The best thing that can happen is another date. date two of the legendary third date. The worst thing, being served a restraining order at work and taking a beatdown from her older socially frustrated brother former multi-time world heavy weight champion and icon for the angry generation Mike Tyson.
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Old 09-03-2017, 11:08 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OutOfTheCube View Post
I think the flowers might be a bit much.

Couldn't you just find her on Facebook and send a message through there? I don't think it would be weird adding someone on FB after you met them at a mutual event.
Not to say ugh, but sending a facebook message? Can you put in any less of an effort.

Sometimes you have to work at romance and go above and beyond and do something with a personal touch that really shows your interested.

There's something to be said about a personal hand written note and sending flowers or doing something thoughtful and unique.

Romance is supposed to be fun and requires creativity, its not a factory job.
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Old 09-03-2017, 11:10 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OutOfTheCube View Post
I think the flowers might be a bit much.

Couldn't you just find her on Facebook and send a message through there? I don't think it would be weird adding someone on FB after you met them at a mutual event.
Try to read this least creepily as possible, but if I could have found her online that would definitely be my first choice.
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Old 09-04-2017, 12:09 AM   #20
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But, you must know somebody that she knows from the wedding. She was either invited by the groom or bride. Bring it up with one of them, and see if they can arrange something that would get you guys in the same room again. Or just ask to pass along your number / contact info to her because you liked her. Or put in a request for her contact info. That is, ask a mutual friend to ask her if you can get her number or something.
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