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Old 05-18-2019, 09:48 AM   #1
CaptainCrunch
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Default You know you're feeling old when

I mean aging is part of the whole circle of life without the lion king and all the animals standing around you reminding you with a power ballad written by Elton John.

Its somewhat insidious though. I mean in terms of physical feel it sneaks up on you even though we grouse that its almost like it kicks us in the face one day when we wake up and look in the mirror and see white hair or a white beard, or a frier Tuckesque bald spot.

It sneaks up on you when you feel like you suddenly wake up in the morning and your first few steps sound like you're stepping on bubble wrap as your joints pop and explode.

Or you go to a bar with your friends and look at your watch at 10:00 and tell your friends that your leaving because its past your bed time.

Or you get in your car, and fire up your spotify and go to select the easy listening library or the music of the 70's or 80's library instead of your old power metal library because its to damn loud.

Or and worse of all, you go and see your eye doctor for an eye exam and he tells you that its time to either get bifocals or two sets of glasses one for reading and one for distance.

What's next, cooking up a nice dinner of mashed peas and some meat that soft.

Looking at teenagers with complete disdain and telling them that in my day . . . .

That you suddenly feel like a dirty old man for looking at that really hot 30 year old across the room, and then sadly realizing that because you're not a millionaire that you have absolutely no shot and her reaction is more ugh then no thanks.

But bifocals c'mon man. I guess I might as well get that cup that reads worlds great uncle or grandpa in an ironic turn, start wearing slippers around the house. Gathering with my friends in my age group at the blackfoot truck stop to loudly argue about how stupid kids are now days.

Frack man, I miss phones with dialers on it, Original coke, a beer selection that involved maybe 5 beers, 10 channels on TV without hundreds of viewing selection per hour, and movies that weren't headache inducing 3d effects fests.

Fracking bifocals.
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Old 05-18-2019, 10:01 AM   #2
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But bifocals c'mon man.
Yup, I was told that I need progressive lenses a couple of years ago instead of the single prescription lenses that I have right now for distance. So far, I've not caved in because it feels like an "old man" thing to wear them. Getting old is a mother ####er some days. I had great vision until I was in my mid forties and now it is going downhill fast.

I could go on and on but I won't. Time gets us all in the end.
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Old 05-18-2019, 10:13 AM   #3
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10 channels on TV without PVR? Rabbit ears.... F that especially with commercials.

I've found with age, things bother me more, and get easily annoyed. Used to be carefree but I guess with age comes supposedly wisdom and stubbornness.
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Old 05-18-2019, 10:18 AM   #4
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Every stupid little task that shouldn't hurt does hurt.

Step out of your car funny? Tweaked back. Sleep a little off kilter, kinked neck and headache. Slip on ice? Broken rib.
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Old 05-18-2019, 10:18 AM   #5
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ha! ha! yea - i noticed my eyes changing a couple years ago. when i had my last eye test the doc got me to try a different prescription with my contacts... left eye for close up, right eye for distance - yea... that was a brutal 'trial' month. was never so happy to go back to the eye doc. i'm fine if i don't have my contacts in, just take off my glasses and i can read fine, but man, if i have my contacts in i'm doing the old 'holding it at arm's length away' so i can read it! ha! ha!

one thing i've really noticed over the last few years is i just can't play as much hockey as 'back in the day'. i used to play goal at least 3-4 nights/week.... ha... not anymore! two times per week max and back to back nights is just a big nope! uughhhh!!

one of the real sucky things with getting older is having to say goodbye to parents, aunts, uncles and parents of long time friends. we spread the ashes of one of my aunts last week. that was tough.
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Old 05-18-2019, 10:18 AM   #6
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I hear ya. I bought a 3 pack of reading glasses a month ago...
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Old 05-18-2019, 10:24 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch View Post
I mean aging is part of the whole circle of life without the lion king and all the animals standing around you reminding you with a power ballad written by Elton John.

Its somewhat insidious though. I mean in terms of physical feel it sneaks up on you even though we grouse that its almost like it kicks us in the face one day when we wake up and look in the mirror and see white hair or a white beard, or a frier Tuckesque bald spot.

It sneaks up on you when you feel like you suddenly wake up in the morning and your first few steps sound like you're stepping on bubble wrap as your joints pop and explode.

Or you go to a bar with your friends and look at your watch at 10:00 and tell your friends that your leaving because its past your bed time.

Or you get in your car, and fire up your spotify and go to select the easy listening library or the music of the 70's or 80's library instead of your old power metal library because its to damn loud.

Or and worse of all, you go and see your eye doctor for an eye exam and he tells you that its time to either get bifocals or two sets of glasses one for reading and one for distance.

What's next, cooking up a nice dinner of mashed peas and some meat that soft.

Looking at teenagers with complete disdain and telling them that in my day . . . .

That you suddenly feel like a dirty old man for looking at that really hot 30 year old across the room, and then sadly realizing that because you're not a millionaire that you have absolutely no shot and her reaction is more ugh then no thanks.

But bifocals c'mon man. I guess I might as well get that cup that reads worlds great uncle or grandpa in an ironic turn, start wearing slippers around the house. Gathering with my friends in my age group at the blackfoot truck stop to loudly argue about how stupid kids are now days.

Frack man, I miss phones with dialers on it, Original coke, a beer selection that involved maybe 5 beers, 10 channels on TV without hundreds of viewing selection per hour, and movies that weren't headache inducing 3d effects fests.

Fracking bifocals.

I'm still feeling good at 66. I workout daily - it isn't as easy as it once was, but still manage to get an hour a day in. I find I need a nap some time during the day. My stamina isn't what it once was, but still pretty good. I have developed arthritis in one of my wrists and in one of my shoulders. The eyesight isn't what it used to be. But, so far, it isn't bad. I agree with most of your list, except the part about loud music - hell, if it isn't loud I can't hear it
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Old 05-18-2019, 10:26 AM   #8
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At 47 I have come to the stark realization that my body is aging and I am going to have to look after it especially after abusing it for the last 30+yrs.
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Old 05-18-2019, 01:08 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by undercoverbrother View Post
At 47 I have come to the stark realization that my body is aging and I am going to have to look after it especially after abusing it for the last 30+yrs.
I'm with you on his. Same age as you are and it seems that I tend to get injured a lot easier than I used to doing just work in the yard. Things always hurt that didn't seem to hurt before. Ugh.
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Old 05-18-2019, 01:23 PM   #10
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When you and many of your friends become octogenarians.
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Old 05-18-2019, 01:54 PM   #11
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This thread immediately reminded me of Heller's definition of becoming old in "Something Happened", when Bob compares reactions of young, middle-aged and old to someone farting loudly during board of directors' meeting...
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Old 05-18-2019, 02:14 PM   #12
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At 47 I have come to the stark realization that my body is aging and I am going to have to look after it especially after abusing it for the last 30+yrs.
Same age as well. Just had a hip resurfaced and the other one will need it soon. Hope to get back to many of the activities that have hurt so much for the past 3 years.
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Old 05-18-2019, 02:14 PM   #13
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I'm 60 years old and still going strong. Knees and hips are still in excellent working order. I have a receding hair line with an ozone layer at the top that seems to be getting larger. My #@#$% barber loves to remind me and his other customers of that

The worst part of growing old is having the younger generation call you "gramps" when they need to ask you a question. And no! I don't need you to hold the door open for me or help carry my groceries to my vehicle. The other day I walked out of the grocery story with a bag of water salt on each shoulder and people were worried I might hurt myself. Get lost!
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Old 05-18-2019, 02:22 PM   #14
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I remember when I went to get a haircut and I got a haircut.

Now when I go for a haircut, I get my haircut, my eyebrows trimmed and the back of my ears shaved.
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Old 05-18-2019, 02:25 PM   #15
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You know you’re old when you’re filling out a form online and you have to scroll several times to find your birth year. I’m retirement age but I’m in great shape with no health or mobility issues. I’m fortunate but I’ve looked after myself.
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Old 05-18-2019, 03:07 PM   #16
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You know you're getting old when you do more funerals than you do weddings.
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Old 05-18-2019, 05:42 PM   #17
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CC: I think I may be your lost female twin.
I got the progressives last year.
Body hurts getting out of bed most mornings.
I compete against people that weren't even born the year I got married.
I watched an episode of the newest version of Degrassi and was trying to explain to my daughter how the teacher in that show had a brother who was gay and killed himself in the version of the show that I watched when she was her age.
The jowls and wrinkles. Sigh... this is the worst. I'm totally dreading the full-on-turkey-waddle-under-the-chin.
Slower metabolism: I have to work twice as hard just to stay the same weight! Now I'm getting that stupid woman's pooch belly. YUK!
The only thing I like is the grey hair. I have a streak at my temple and can't wait for the whole thing to go, so I can just embrace it and stop bleaching my hair blonde.
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Old 05-18-2019, 06:57 PM   #18
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Ya, but those OAS cheques rule!!
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Old 05-18-2019, 08:11 PM   #19
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About those bifocals. Nobody tells you this, but when you first get them and your eyes aren’t used to them anything in the lower range of your vision gets distorted. Desks have ripples and walking up and down stairs can be very disconcerting.

I first discovered I was getting old when I woke up with a hangover and then realized that i hadn’t had a drink in ages.
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Old 05-19-2019, 05:31 AM   #20
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When you're in the shower and can't remember if you washed your hair or not.
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