FML? Texts from last night? ...and now Ruminations!!

[alltherage]

Another funny time waster... here are a few good'ers:

Link

· I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
· The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
· A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
· Was learning cursive really necessary?
· Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say
· I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger
· Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
· How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
· I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

[starseed]

That car thing is so true, I LOVE when that happens.

I normally just ask them to repeat themselves a maximum of 3 times, then I do the nod. It happens a few times a week.

[The Goon]

Just yesterday I was trying to remember the last time I regularly used cursive.

[alltherage]

Originally Posted by starseed

That car thing is so true, I LOVE when that happens.

I normally just ask them to repeat themselves a maximum of 3 times, then I do the nod. It happens a few times a week.

See, I'm the a-hole who after asking the second time will, say something like "ok, i didn't hear you the first time, so saying it at exactly the same volume just now didn't help. Adjust the volume or rephrase the f***in sentence."

[Bob]

This one is so true:

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

[Bring_Back_Shantz]

These were my two favorites:


Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...


Eating dessert, skipping class, and having sex all have one thing in common. Once the idea crosses your mind it's almost impossible not to do it, and if someone else says it out loud, it's 100% going to happen.

[worth]

They say celebrities die in 3's. Leave it to Billy Mays to throw in an extra one COMPLETELY FREE.

bahaha

[Mccree]

"Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or faq's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft."

I like this one.

[MarchHare]

"If you show up to a sporting event wearing the opposing team’s jersey, I dislike you but respect you. If you show up wearing a random third-party jersey, the jersey of the home team’s rival that’s not actually playing that day, or the jersey of the home city’s rival in a completely different sport, you might as well get the word '######' stitched on the back."

"On a family vacation one summer, we crossed Wyoming and noted several historical points of interest that we knew of because of "Oregon Trail" We stopped at the famous South Pass to look at the wagon tracks still visible in the dirt. looking out over the landscape, my sister nodded and said grimly, 'This is where my oxen always die.'"

"I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to."

[Pagal4321]

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Clearly he hasn't been on CP.

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

Wait, that's not how people do things?

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

This is too true.

[KTrain]

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

I love this too.

[tete]

Originally Posted by Pagal4321

Clearly he hasn't been on CP.
Quote:
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

This is too true.

Aaaannnddd... I think I just hit that point. Crap.

[4X4]

Originally Posted by Pagal

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

Wait, that's not how people do things?

Hell no. And risk a shot of freezing cold water anywhere on my body?

The correct order of operations is this:

Turn on shower
Drop a spike
Shower
Shave

15 minutes tops.

[alltherage]

Originally Posted by Pagal4321

"You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day. "

This is too true.

For me, this has been 9:00am every day for the past 1.5 months. I start at 9:00am.

[VladtheImpaler]

Originally Posted by Pagal4321

Quote:
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

This is too true.

For me, it's called "7 AM"...

EDIT: ATR beat me to it. Well, at least I am motivated enough to show up for work earlier...

[starseed]

Originally Posted by 4X4

Hell no. And risk a shot of freezing cold water anywhere on my body?

The correct order of operations is this:

Turn on shower
Drop a spike
Shower
Shave

15 minutes tops.

That is exactly my routine, and time.

[Esoteric]

I fear the day Facebook decides to inform users of who has viewed their profile...and how many times.

This one made me laugh. And then become worried.

[Gozer]

thingsididlastnight.com

[red sky]

Originally Posted by starseed

That is exactly my routine, and time.

I save my 'spike' for work. Better getting paid to do that sort of thing. I have some mean games of texas hold em' on the BB as well

[BlackEleven]

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

Nice.