Vote Locke

[alltherage]

For Internet President.

Add this image to your sig or avatar to join the cause. This is war.

http://i32.tinypic.com/117tco0.png

[Traditional_Ale]

I for one....

[Bring_Back_Shantz]

As a internet loyalist, I'll never vote for an internet president.

I was born under an internet monarch, and god willing, I'll die under one!

Now what's this all about?

[Dion]

My requests to be vice president were ignored. Thus i'm joining the kill the scumbag camp.

[Resolute 14]

So is that "countdown to domination" timer telling us when the season starts, or when the election is?

[alltherage]

I wait with patience for our future leader to coordinate his strike. I am forever loyal to the Locke regime.

[CrusaderPi]

Like always I'll be forever loyal until a better offer comes along.

[malcolmk14]

I thought the internet was an autonomous collective?

[Locke]

Originally Posted by malcolmk14

I thought the internet was an autonomous collective?

Its a series of Tubes...everyone knows that. Now someone must rule over those tubes, once, it was Mario, now it shall be me!

[jydk]

I used to visit this site to read intelligent debates, opinions, and humorous rants, but CP is going down hill fast with crap like this.

[CrusaderPi]

Looks like someone wants to be the first against the wall

[Locke]

This is my Campaign: Copied from the Random Thoughts Thread

This is my Platform for my Campaign to be elected Internet President:

People are so much more concerned about getting thanked than of saying anything of value, and for the most part, there is little wrong with this, however, there should be more stringent limits on who is allowed to be thanked for instance no noobs and no Oiler fans should be allowed to be thanked, but they should be allowed to thank us for all of our superior insight, understanding and limitless hockey-related knowledge.

Secondly, there should be an additional feature, 'The Bitchslap.' Veteran posters should be allowed to 'bitchslap' any poster in their first 3 months of membership, its a minor feature, but it would then ban that poster from the boards for about 40 minutes. I think that would smarten people up.

Furthermore, I propose a poster curfew. Noobs and the elderly should not be allowed on the boards after 10:00, I see too many brand new posters carrying on an E-Squabbles late into the wee hours of the morning. Its like watching 'The View' when you're not drunk or high, Dante referred to it in his 'Divine Comedy' as the 10th circle of Hell.

The only conclusion that I can come to is that these individuals are not responsible enough to know when to call it a bitchfest and go to bed, nor are they sufficiently mentally equipped to post in a stunningly inebriated condition. There are many on this board, who shall go unnamed, who can post just fine in a condition that the Police and medical professionals would describe only as: Clinically Dead. Some posters cannot, and therefore we should eliminate their ability to post in the likely timing of this condition in order to allow the board to remain free for the use of our decent, law-abiding (sometimes) and more valued members.

These are only some of the principles for which I stand, but for the most part I feel that our boards should be ruled with an Iron Fist for the make benefit of our glorious and more important members on the backs of the unwashed proletariat hordes!

Thats what I, Locke stand for, so remember, vote Locke for Internet President!!

[malcolmk14]

Outdated elitism.

The internet is supposed to be a revolutionary place, with such things as Tubgirl, Two Girls One Cup, and the horse having anal intercourse with the guy until he dies from internal bleeding driving the scene forward. It's supposed to make you think, challenge your mind. Make you wonder, "What the f*** is up with these people and why the hell didn't I think of it first?"

Your old-school principles will never catch on here.

[Ford Prefect]

Originally Posted by alltherage

I wait with patience for our future leader to coordinate his strike. I am forever loyal to the Locke regime.

I wait with impatience for confirmation of kickbacks and preferential treatment from our presidential wannabe, and I'm getting close to joining Dion in the Kill-The-Scumbag camp. Come on Locke, what's it gonna be? Have you forgotten who your first supporter was already, and who got this thing rolling for you? Have delusions of power already gone to your head, and you've forgotten your humble beginnings and true friends?

[Ford Prefect]

Originally Posted by jydk

I used to visit this site to read intelligent debates, opinions, and humorous rants, but CP is going down hill fast with crap like this.

It's mid-summer. Lighten up ... we're just trying to kill some boredom.

[alltherage]

Originally Posted by jydk

I used to visit this site to read intelligent debates, opinions, and humorous rants, but CP is going down hill fast with crap like this.

I think I speak for the Locke party, when I say

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Ford Prefect

I wait with impatience for confirmation of kickbacks and preferential treatment from our presidential wannabe, and I'm getting close to joining Dion in the Kill-The-Scumbag camp. Come on Locke, what's it gonna be? Have you forgotten who your first supporter was already, and who got this thing rolling for you? Have delusions of power already gone to your head, and you've forgotten your humble beginnings and true friends?

The kickbacks are coming, I have to assume full control of the internet's assets before I can start divvying them up wholly unfairly among my supporters!

[Azure]

What do I get out of it?

[CrusaderPi]

Originally Posted by alltherage

Solid. And stolen.

[Ford Prefect]

Originally Posted by Locke

The kickbacks are coming, I have to assume full control of the internet's assets before I can start divvying them up wholly unfairly among my supporters!

Alrighty then. So long as the graft is in the game plan ... Viva El Presidente. Locke for Supreme Cyber Dude.

I'm especially reassured by the "divvying them up wholly unfairly among my supporters" part. I'm happy to see you have a firm grasp of politics 101.