Family - What do I do?

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Reaper

So, you just shirked the responsibility and made your parents pack up your old stuff because you were too busy to take a weekend to move your own stuff. Great job. Did mom come over to make your lunches too? Turns out you were irresponsible and immature when you first moved out so that should work for everyone else...

What if his mom made an effigy of him out of his old clothes and sat it down at the dinner table and took it shopping with her and such?

[Reaper]

Originally Posted by Locke

What if his mom made an effigy of him out of his old clothes and sat it down at the dinner table and took it shopping with her and such?

Then his family really needs to start talking about the state of mom's mental health and the direction they should go in as a family to help her get well.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Reaper

Then his family really needs to start talking about the state of mom's mental health and the direction they should go in as a family to help her get well.

Yes! But they've got an impressive head-start on Burning Man!

So theres that.

[Cowperson]

Originally Posted by GGG

I think some of this is on you.

His side seems to want some kind of relationship with them going forward, hence an unwillingness to offend.

Their side doesn’t seem to care about any of that. DNGAF.

Nice people getting played by bad people.

I’d clean it up this afternoon, tell them their boxes will be in my garage for one week and then to the dump the afternoon of a certain date. They’re welcome to come collect them and play some ping pong if they want.

Problem solved. Today.

[marsplasticeraser]

Sure, they should have cleaned up and taken their stuff, however I'm bewildered that you wouldn't clean this up yourself, especially after 6 months...there has to be more going on in this story. Did you not want to let them stay with you in the first place by any chance? Do you not get along with them?

Anyways, help your family out, take the stuff over and move on from this minor issue.

[woob]

Originally Posted by Cowperson

His side seems to want some kind of relationship with them going forward, hence an unwillingness to offend.

Their side doesn’t seem to care about any of that. DNGAF.

Nice people getting played by bad people.

I’d clean it up this afternoon, tell them their boxes will be in my garage for one week and then to the dump the afternoon of a certain date. They’re welcome to come collect them and play some ping pong if they want.

Problem solved. Today.

Yup, spot on. You clean it up but then you stand your ground and give them the week to come get it. If they don't, dumpster or donation or whatever. If you take it to them, it's exactly what they're hoping for.

[Flamenspiel]

Its an internal family matter. No comment.

[RedHot25]

Well, apparently I'm giving myself ulcers about this and should light it all in a bonfire. Is that correct, ha?

They are family so we helped them out no problems etc. Its what family does. They didn't just stay a week, they stayed a significant amount of time. Which is A-OK in our books, we've moved a lot so we understand.

Why didn't we clean it already? We were being respectful and didn't want to look like (even though we wouldn't be) snooping. Its not our stuff, and I wouldn't want someone going through all my stuff. Clothes to financial stuff to toys to (I assume) important papers etc.

As to why did they just leave it all, including open drinks and whatever else? I have no idea. We didn't force them out. They bought an awesome house, with a lot more space than us. After commenting that you've. Been rotating the same 5 shirts, why wouldn't you get your stuff from our place for even purely practical reasons - you know, where the rest of your shirts are at?

I come to the point of wanting it gone BC it's been long enough. Further i'm not expecting them to clean spick and span eat off the floor, but if it takes 1.5 hours to clean a bathroom...the least you could do is sweep the dust bunnies up off the floor and strip the sheets off the bed. We're not a hotel, we are a family helping each other out. Which goes both ways.

And, finally, while not a major issue, it is a bit of a minor irritant that when you can't find a bag or pillow slip...it turns out it's because they've randomly taken it and kept it at their place. I have no problem loaning things, but at least give a vague heads up/ask that you are borrowing/taking something of ours.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by RedHot25

Well, apparently I'm giving myself ulcers about this and should light it all in a bonfire. Is that correct, ha?

I dont want to tell you how to live your life but if a neighbourhood bonfire needs to happen and people are looking for fuel, you dont have to say yes, you just dont have to say no.

"What happened to all of our stuff?"

- "Look...this world with its high cost of real estate and fluctuating oil prices is a topsy turvy place...things go missing and get burnt in impromptu neighbourhood bonfires all the time....these things happen!"

[taco.vidal]

Originally Posted by RedHot25

Well, apparently I'm giving myself ulcers about this and should light it all in a bonfire. Is that correct, ha?

They are family so we helped them out no problems etc. Its what family does. They didn't just stay a week, they stayed a significant amount of time. Which is A-OK in our books, we've moved a lot so we understand.

Why didn't we clean it already? We were being respectful and didn't want to look like (even though we wouldn't be) snooping. Its not our stuff, and I wouldn't want someone going through all my stuff. Clothes to financial stuff to toys to (I assume) important papers etc.

As to why did they just leave it all, including open drinks and whatever else? I have no idea. We didn't force them out. They bought an awesome house, with a lot more space than us. After commenting that you've. Been rotating the same 5 shirts, why wouldn't you get your stuff from our place for even purely practical reasons - you know, where the rest of your shirts are at?

I come to the point of wanting it gone BC it's been long enough. Further i'm not expecting them to clean spick and span eat off the floor, but if it takes 1.5 hours to clean a bathroom...the least you could do is sweep the dust bunnies up off the floor and strip the sheets off the bed. We're not a hotel, we are a family helping each other out. Which goes both ways.

And, finally, while not a major issue, it is a bit of a minor irritant that when you can't find a bag or pillow slip...it turns out it's because they've randomly taken it and kept it at their place. I have no problem loaning things, but at least give a vague heads up/ask that you are borrowing/taking something of ours.

They're walking all over you. It doesnt matter that theyre family, theyre not being respectful and they seem to have a strange way of showing appreciation for yor opening up your home for them.

Id also ask yourself when do they ever help you out and to what extent? We dont know the answer but are they as helpful and accommodating as you are for them?

But by the sounds of things, you probably shouldnt set a firm deadline because it will likely pass with them offering some sort of excuse of excuse why they cant pick it up until a later date. Both you and they know that you wont do anything about it. It will become an even a bigger joke for them. So best let it be and let them pick it up when theyre ready.

[tvp2003]

Originally Posted by firebug

Post the stuff on Kijiji.

Send them a link to the ads.

Make them buy it back? Niiiiiice

[sec304]

Just send them a link to this thread

[calgarybornnraised]

Originally Posted by RedHot25

Well, apparently I'm giving myself ulcers about this and should light it all in a bonfire. Is that correct, ha?

They are family so we helped them out no problems etc. Its what family does. They didn't just stay a week, they stayed a significant amount of time. Which is A-OK in our books, we've moved a lot so we understand.

Why didn't we clean it already? We were being respectful and didn't want to look like (even though we wouldn't be) snooping. Its not our stuff, and I wouldn't want someone going through all my stuff. Clothes to financial stuff to toys to (I assume) important papers etc.

As to why did they just leave it all, including open drinks and whatever else? I have no idea. We didn't force them out. They bought an awesome house, with a lot more space than us. After commenting that you've. Been rotating the same 5 shirts, why wouldn't you get your stuff from our place for even purely practical reasons - you know, where the rest of your shirts are at?

I come to the point of wanting it gone BC it's been long enough. Further i'm not expecting them to clean spick and span eat off the floor, but if it takes 1.5 hours to clean a bathroom...the least you could do is sweep the dust bunnies up off the floor and strip the sheets off the bed. We're not a hotel, we are a family helping each other out. Which goes both ways.

And, finally, while not a major issue, it is a bit of a minor irritant that when you can't find a bag or pillow slip...it turns out it's because they've randomly taken it and kept it at their place. I have no problem loaning things, but at least give a vague heads up/ask that you are borrowing/taking something of ours.

They are using you as a "plan b". You need to get rid of their stuff as soon as possible, they will always think they can fall back on you and your family.

[Peanut]

Tell them they need to come get it this weekend, or else you’re getting rid of the stuff. I would not be delivering it to their place. Sell the good stuff, donate or junk the rest (as appropriate). Its a lot more difficult in your mind than it is to all of us outsiders. My family has used me as a permanent storage solution before, and it took my Mom a few incidents of me getting rid of items for her to understand that, hey, if you leave your crap with someone indefinitely, it by default becomes THEIR crap, with which they are entitled to keep, sell, or donate as they see fit.

Wanting them to come back and clean at this point is weird. Let it go. Should they have done it when they left? Yes. But at this point your brother or sister in law might be contemplating starting an internet thread like “I thought I was a house guest, but my inlaws keep passive aggressively asking me to come back and clean the bathroom. And I’ve been gone for six months. Is it reasonable that they’ve left the bathroom untouched and dirty, waiting for me to return with cleaning supplies? What do I do?”.

[flamesfever]

nm

[Fuzz]

I can only assume your last name is Griswold, you are Clark, and he is cousin Eddie.

[Thor]

Light your home on fire, after its burned down tell them the cause of the fire was their pile of junk.

[Galakanokis]

Just flat out say come get your #### or I dump it on your lawn.

My mother-in-law bought two full bedroom suites that got left in my basement as she didn't have a place to even live yet. 3 or 4 months after getting a place that crap was still in my basement. I gave my wife one last chance to deal with it politely and when that didn't get any traction I flat out said it goes next week one way or another. It was gone by the next week.

No sense letting things linger, just rip the bandaid off.

[zamler]

Didn't want to look like you were snooping? Cheese and rice it's your ####ing house.

[STAMPEDRED]

Might as well pack it all up. I would Kijiji all of it, or perhaps when they come over again just start loading their trunk up and say your glad to help them get their items out as you understand it probably feels awkward to them to do it now since you saw how messy they left everything.
Mad for the bed you got for their child, you picked it up and set it all up, it’s not out of the ordinary to pack it up yourself and send it back to where you got it. If it can’t be returned, then Kijiji it like everyone else would do. If you Kijiji any of the items, then any money you make off of Kijiji is yours to cover for cleanup costs as well as unrealized storage payments.

Honestly, have you asked them why they are being like this? Simply state we have never done this to you guys (unless you have, then every thing is going to come up) so why did you do this? No point asking why it’s been so long for them to do anything about it as you won’t get an answer for that beyond they feel awkward.

And get the answer out of them. Don’t let them off the hook. By doing so, you’ll keep family ties in place which is what you want, and at the same time you will put a standard in place that neither side takes advantage of each other a standard of mutual respect instead of being a piece of carpet to be walked upon again and again.

Lastly, keep us all informed! That’s the most important advice any of us can give you now