I'm not sure if they work, but you can buy fake bee hives and put them in your yard. They supposedly make bees and wasps voluntarily leave or stay away because they feel threatened if there is another colony close by.
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"A pessimist thinks things can't get any worse. An optimist knows they can."
I am visiting my family in Florida for the holidays. I was chillin at my sister's house when we looked out back and noticed a swarm of honeybees congregating on their swingset. There are a lot of kids around, including my sister's 3 kids. They were inside at the time, fortunately.
****in Bees!
A few minutes later they had calmed down. We were guessing they were disturbed from their hive and decided to come here, or something.
This is where the bees were coming from. A hole in the house behind my sister's place. We told the landlady about it and she didn't seem to care or want to be bothered that she was renting a house to people that had ****ing BEEES living inside it.
The neighbor called a bee removal company and they said they wouldn't come out unless we paid a hefty fee, but he did recommend waiting until dark and go buy some stuff from Home Depot and squirt them with it and that should kill them off.
Well that plan was OK except for 2 things. 1 was that my sister's husband is crazy. The 2nd thing is we didn't want to wait that long nor spend any money.
So we did the next best thing. Started ****ing with the bees.
My bro in law chucks a tennis ball at the clump of bees, that was the size of a basketball. He knocked off a fist sized clump of bees, which eventually just flew back up into the main clump.
That was pretty boring, so we decide to try something a little bigger....
Yeah, a 40lb trailer hitch for a Dodge Caravan.
INCOMING!
CLANG! We have bees in freefall! Did I mention he is severely allergic to bees?
RUN FORREST!
Pile O Bees
The bees dust themselves off, and resume taking over the swingset. Every single one pretty much flew back up into a ball of bee death.
At this point it was clear these little #######s weren't getting the message. Their arrival in my sister's property was an act of agression, and we weren't going to stand for it. So it was time for some redneck engineering:
Bee incinerator contraption:
- 30 feet of rope
- 1 large fire pit
- 1 science project board
- miscellaneous rags and a bedsheet
- gas
Fill 'er up! Slide the incinerator under the bees and....
IGNITION!
OH THE BEEMANITY
CARNAGE!
Amazingly some bees still survived the first wave. What should we do next?
The next ingredient is 1.5 quarts of PAINT THINNER
OH YES!!!!
12/23 NEVER FORGET
THERE WERE STILL MORE BEES ON THE SWINGSET. CALL IN REINFORCEMENTS. 2 QUARTS OF 87 OCTANE GASOLINE REPORTING FOR DUTY SIR!
OH DEAR LORD ITS SO BEAUTIFUL. I AM SO PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN RIGHT NOW.
Tonight we are having Roast Bee
The Aftermath.
Number of allied casualties (er, stings): 0
Number of bees killed: est. 10,000
Number of bee survivors: about 25 or so
FOR GREAT JUSTICE!
Last edited by csnarpy; 07-31-2011 at 05:44 PM.
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I have a small group of honeybees that have taken up residence under my front step.
Short of lifting the step and killing them all are there any suggestions to just make them go away ??
I will kill if I have to...
Just impose a trade embargo on them, their reliance on foreign honey will eventually cause them to broker a deal, suggest they relocate in exchange for honey. Worked for my friend
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkGio
I am so fulfilled with many things in my life that it would be pathetic to seek schadenfreude over something as silly as a sports game.
Bee Removal...
I wish I looked up this tread earlier. 
