My Magic Stick

[MacGr3gor]

Cool story bro

[worth]

This is the best story I have ever read Mr. Prez.

[rubecube]

I don't know about the rest of you, but I rated this thread 5 stars.

[Boblobla]

There has never been an avatar of the thread starter more appropriate than this.

[Crazy Bacon Legs]

Just so you know, I have a practice tomorrow. I will likely score a goal due to the power of my STICK. IT WILL NOT COUNT TO MY STATS. Please stop updating my stats due to my practices. They are not the same thing.

I will try my hardest. For you people. My new found friends on CP who appreciate my magic stick as it should be.

I will see how my stick functions in my next practice and my next game. This will scientifically prove the magic of my stick.

Thanks.

[Cheerio]

Originally Posted by Crazy Bacon Legs

Just so you know, I have a practice tomorrow. I will likely score a goal due to the power of my STICK. IT WILL NOT COUNT TO MY STATS. Please stop updating my stats due to my practices. They are not the same thing.

I will try my hardest. For you people. My new found friends on CP who appreciate my magic stick as it should be.

I will see how my stick functions in my next practice and my next game. This will scientifically prove the magic of my stick.

Thanks.

Wait... Did you actually write that first post? I thought it was just some random story you found on the internet lol/

[Crazy Bacon Legs]

Okay, so I had my practice and my stick performed beyond my expectations. I will give you examples:

EXAMPLE 1: We were playing in a "scrimmage" practice game and I skated up the ice. I shot a whizdinger of a shot, it hit the goalie in the shoulder and bounced to the left (my left, not his. I was facing the other way). I got the puck on my backhand near the red line - LIKE MAYBE 6 INCHES IN FRONT - and I fired a backhand shot at an impossible angle. What? Impossible, you say? Oh really? I ROOFED A SHOT OFF THE CROSSBAR AND IN THE GOAL! This is something I have never done. My stick hummed in my hands and everyone sighed and smiled. The world was a better place. People around the rink (There may have been about 1,000 people, or maybe less) began to rhythmically clap their hands as I held my stick aloft like a latter-day Excalibur. I love my stick.

EXAMPLE 2: I got mad at a guy and hit him with my stick. He fell over, clutching his back. MY STICK HAS THE POWER TO KNOCK OVER PEOPLE AND HURT THEIR BACK. I told you my stick was magic.

I have a game on Friday. I cannot wait. I have started carrying my stick everywhere I go. I got the stink-eye from the local shopkeep. My boss has been giving me strange looks in meetings. They do not yet know the power of the stick. If they don't quit with the stink-eye they may get an EXAMPLE 2.

[CaptainCrunch]

Oh and MAttingly I told you to shave those sideburns.

[North East Goon]

The Grass is still green here, Sundeep.

[fredr123]

Originally Posted by Badabing

Cool story bro?

^^^^ This needs to accompany any "cool story bro" comment on this board from now on.

[Jayems]

Originally Posted by Crazy Bacon Legs

Okay, so I had my practice and my stick performed beyond my expectations. I will give you examples:

EXAMPLE 1: We were playing in a "scrimmage" practice game and I skated up the ice. I shot a whizdinger of a shot, it hit the goalie in the shoulder and bounced to the left (my left, not his. I was facing the other way). I got the puck on my backhand near the red line - LIKE MAYBE 6 INCHES IN FRONT - and I fired a backhand shot at an impossible angle. What? Impossible, you say? Oh really? I ROOFED A SHOT OFF THE CROSSBAR AND IN THE GOAL! This is something I have never done. My stick hummed in my hands and everyone sighed and smiled. The world was a better place. People around the rink (There may have been about 1,000 people, or maybe less) began to rhythmically clap their hands as I held my stick aloft like a latter-day Excalibur. I love my stick.

.

Whizdinger? What are you 90? Who talks like that? Are you sure your magic stick isn't just your cane and you suffer from dementia? Are you actually sat in a nursing home with a soiled adult diaper on, living vicariously through your own message board posts?

[CaptainCrunch]

[puckluck]

Originally Posted by Jayems

Whizdinger? What are you 90? Who talks like that? Are you sure your magic stick isn't just your cane and you suffer from dementia? Are you actually sat in a nursing home with a soiled adult diaper on, living vicariously through your own message board posts?

Lol chill out he is obviously joking and is quite hilarious. You on the other hand sound like you are 90 and mad at the world.

[BurningYears]

Originally Posted by puckluck

Lol chill out he is obviously joking and is quite hilarious. You on the other hand sound like you are 90 and mad at the world.

WHOA WHOA WHOA
so you're telling me my new Iginla curve wont let me levitate

[Crazy Bacon Legs]

Originally Posted by Jayems

Whizdinger? What are you 90? Who talks like that? Are you sure your magic stick isn't just your cane and you suffer from dementia? Are you actually sat in a nursing home with a soiled adult diaper on, living vicariously through your own message board posts?

Sir,

While your assertion that I am an incontinent geriatric with some sort of implied scatalogical fetish who is attempting to recapture his failed youth through message board posts is erroneous, I thank you for your valuable input, galdarn it.

On the other hand, I do not know why you are so angry when your whizdinger is obviously much larger than mine.

[Traditional_Ale]

^ So awesome.

[CaptainCrunch]

I keep waiting for his description of himself, over 9 feet tall he was with a beard . . . red the color of the Flames of hell it was.

So awesome.

[gonzo29]

OP kind of writes like Dave Barry.

[Traditional_Ale]

I hope he keeps posting. This thread has so much win.

[Komskies]

I'm just curious if we'll ever get to eat his legs. They sound delicious.