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Old 01-11-2019, 12:23 PM   #121
Wormius
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Originally Posted by White Out 403 View Post
How about hooking the deer up to your car battery?

He's trying to kill the deer, not bring it back to life.
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Old 01-11-2019, 12:28 PM   #122
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How about hooking the deer up to your car battery?
Like where? Do I look like a Paramedic to you?

Hooking the battery up to the car is all well and good, easy stuff, I've boosted countless vehicles.

Where do you hook the cables up to the Deer? Ear to Ear? One on the nose the other on the tail? Hooves?

Plus you run the risk of FrankenDeer haunting you for Eternity.

No, that just wont do.
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Old 01-11-2019, 12:30 PM   #123
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Like where? Do I look like a Paramedic to you?

Hooking the battery up to the car is all well and good, easy stuff, I've boosted countless vehicles.

Where do you hook the cables up to the Deer? Ear to Ear? One on the nose the other on the tail? Hooves?

Plus you run the risk of FrankenDeer haunting you for Eternity.

No, that just wont do.
Ok you said you have a toque right? So wet the toque with whatever liquid you have. Pee on it if you must, the deer is suffering. Then with the urine soaked toque put it in the deers mouth, and hook up the negative terminal to the rag. Naturally the ground positive wire would attach to the deers hoof.

Then zap the deer until it dies. If you also water board the deer with the toque while your electrocuting it you may cause its heart rate to really go up and give the deer heart failure, speeding up its merciful release.
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Old 01-11-2019, 12:30 PM   #124
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I guess i think about it like, were I dying in a ditch, would I want to wait there in my current, non-screaming anguish, for a couple hours,
Don't forget the part that during those few hours you'll likely get torn apart by any coyote, bear, or the odd raven in the area that wants to be a jerk. Although that still seems better than a snowbrush. I'd take a tire iron over that though. But it makes leaving it there for a few hours seem a lot worse.

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Sooo....lets play a game, its called:

"How would you Euthanize an injured Deer with just whats in your car?"
That actually brings up a good point, not only about 'deer euthanization' that I was discussing the other day with some friends.

How many people drive (and I'll limit this to outside of the city) with very little emergency supplies to even get themselves out of a ditch or snow covered parking lot?

Any way, to indulge in your game (and I'll only list things that would actually work quickly, and that I regularly carry):

Truck:
- 24" bolt cutters
- hatchet
- buck knife

Car:
- knife
- tire iron (l shaped, not the X style, which I agree would be tough)
- even the spare tire on a steel rim might do a quick enough job, antlers might get in the way though

To Envitro's point - Agreed, but I don't think anyone's really defending the method the RCMP used here. It was beyond stupid.
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Old 01-11-2019, 12:34 PM   #125
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It seems like all these stories (the original post/the snowbrush/Sex Drive clip), all go the same way. The guy is not really comfortable with the situation, tries what seemed like a good idea for a second, realizes it was a really dumb idea, but now what? They have to keep trying to finish it. I'm sure they're all traumatized and all are left looking like psychos. I have empathy for everyone involved, and while I hope I'd have made a better decision, I'm not sure I would have handled it better. I guess you'd hope a cop would be able to better handle these types of situations and maybe they found out they're not really suited for that line of work.
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Old 01-11-2019, 12:38 PM   #126
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Originally Posted by nfotiu View Post
It seems like all these stories (the original post/the snowbrush/Sex Drive clip), all go the same way. The guy is not really comfortable with the situation, tries what seemed like a good idea for a second, realizes it was a really dumb idea, but now what? They have to keep trying to finish it. I'm sure they're all traumatized and all are left looking like psychos. I have empathy for everyone involved, and while I hope I'd have made a better decision, I'm not sure I would have handled it better. I guess you'd hope a cop would be able to better handle these types of situations and maybe they found out they're not really suited for that line of work.
He. Has. A. Gun.
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Old 01-11-2019, 12:41 PM   #127
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He. Has. A. Gun.
And - presumably - a snowbrush.
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Old 01-11-2019, 12:44 PM   #128
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Originally Posted by nfotiu View Post
It seems like all these stories (the original post/the snowbrush/Sex Drive clip), all go the same way. The guy is not really comfortable with the situation, tries what seemed like a good idea for a second, realizes it was a really dumb idea, but now what? They have to keep trying to finish it. I'm sure they're all traumatized and all are left looking like psychos. I have empathy for everyone involved, and while I hope I'd have made a better decision, I'm not sure I would have handled it better. I guess you'd hope a cop would be able to better handle these types of situations and maybe they found out they're not really suited for that line of work.
The thing with this one is it's so outlandishly idiotic. It'd be funny if it wasn't so horrifying. You have to be partially brain dead to think this is the best way to kill an animal. People are concerned that somebody with such horrible judgement is out there in a position of authority as a cop.

I hope you would handle it better. The only way to handle it worse would be to beat it with a snow brush.
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Old 01-11-2019, 12:54 PM   #129
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Would you slit its throat or??
Yes - you cut the neck about halfway up, is my understanding from people I know who hunt. Then get out of the way - it'll basically swing its legs as if running in place - and die in a few seconds. Like I said, not a pleasant thing to do, but probably the most humane option for the deer.
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Old 01-11-2019, 01:03 PM   #130
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Yes - you cut the neck about halfway up, is my understanding from people I know who hunt. Then get out of the way - it'll basically swing its legs as if running in place - and die in a few seconds. Like I said, not a pleasant thing to do, but probably the most humane option for the deer.
But what do I do with the other 999 cuts I have?
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Old 01-11-2019, 03:14 PM   #131
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Strangling with the booster cables actually might be the most humane choice in Locke's scenario I think.

Assuming the chloroform isn't actually a thing...
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Old 01-11-2019, 03:25 PM   #132
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Originally Posted by Locke View Post
"How would you Euthanize an injured Deer with just whats in your car?"

I'm ashamed to admit that I dont have a proper Roadside Emergency kit in my car. Off the top of my head I have:

- Snow Brush (of course)
- Spare Tire (and accompanying accouterments)
- Matches
- Gloves (wool)
- Blanket (wool)
- Chloroform and Duct Tape
- 1 Bottle Windshield Washer fluid (All-Season)
- 1 Bottle Radiator Fluid (Pre-Mixed)
- 2 Calgary Flames Car Flags
- Booster Cables
- Toque
I've played a lot of adventure games back in the 90's, I got this.

First you gotta make the poor guy comfortable, so I'd be putting the gloves and touque on him, then cover him with a blanket. Start a fire with the matches and whatever wood is around, he should be able to bask in it's warming glow. I don't have much use for the radiator fluid, but you could clean his wound a bit with washer fluid, if he has an open cuts. I'd probably put the Flames flags on his antlers, so he looks spiffy in his last few minutes. Attach them with duct tape if necessary. Finally, you beat him to death with the snow brush. Then drink all the chloroform so you don't remember any of it. "Sorry officer, I have no idea why this dead dear has Flames flags on his antlers."
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Old 01-11-2019, 03:47 PM   #133
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put a garbage bag over the deers head, and then cut a small opening in it and attach to the exhaust pipe and the deer falls asleep forever.
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Old 01-11-2019, 06:07 PM   #134
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Locke View Post
Sooo....lets play a game, its called:

"How would you Euthanize an injured Deer with just whats in your car?"

I'll go first.

I'm ashamed to admit that I dont have a proper Roadside Emergency kit in my car. Off the top of my head I have:

- Snow Brush (of course)
- Spare Tire (and accompanying accouterments)
- Matches
- Gloves (wool)
- Blanket (wool)
- Chloroform and Duct Tape
- 1 Bottle Windshield Washer fluid (All-Season)
- 1 Bottle Radiator Fluid (Pre-Mixed)
- 2 Calgary Flames Car Flags
- Booster Cables
- Toque

So the scenario is that I've winged a Deer and its injured by the roadside and cant move. Its going to die eventually, I'm trying to be a good child of Mother Gaia and to put one of her creatures to rest as humanely as possible.
....
chloroform the toque and put it on the deer like a muzzle. Once the deer is down cover it in radiator fluid and light 'er up.
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Old 01-11-2019, 06:25 PM   #135
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Every ridiculous idea mentioned in this thread would have been less ridiculous than driving over it repeatedly.
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Old 01-11-2019, 06:35 PM   #136
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Originally Posted by Scroopy Noopers View Post
Every ridiculous idea mentioned in this thread would have been less ridiculous than driving over it repeatedly.
Probably a tie with snowbrush
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Old 01-11-2019, 06:42 PM   #137
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Probably a tie with snowbrush
Yeah, let’s not discuss the snowbrush.
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Old 01-12-2019, 11:52 AM   #138
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Originally Posted by Scroopy Noopers View Post
Every ridiculous idea mentioned in this thread would have been less ridiculous than driving over it repeatedly.
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Old 01-12-2019, 11:54 AM   #139
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Originally Posted by Fuzz View Post
I've played a lot of adventure games back in the 90's, I got this.

First you gotta make the poor guy comfortable, so I'd be putting the gloves and touque on him, then cover him with a blanket. Start a fire with the matches and whatever wood is around, he should be able to bask in it's warming glow. I don't have much use for the radiator fluid, but you could clean his wound a bit with washer fluid, if he has an open cuts. I'd probably put the Flames flags on his antlers, so he looks spiffy in his last few minutes. Attach them with duct tape if necessary. Finally, you beat him to death with the snow brush. Then drink all the chloroform so you don't remember any of it. "Sorry officer, I have no idea why this dead dear has Flames flags on his antlers."
1997 called...its need you back to save the Universe!
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Old 01-12-2019, 12:04 PM   #140
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Locke View Post
Sooo....lets play a game, its called:

"How would you Euthanize an injured Deer with just whats in your car?"

I'll go first.

I'm ashamed to admit that I dont have a proper Roadside Emergency kit in my car. Off the top of my head I have:

- Snow Brush (of course)
- Spare Tire (and accompanying accouterments)
- Matches
- Gloves (wool)
- Blanket (wool)
- Chloroform and Duct Tape
- 1 Bottle Windshield Washer fluid (All-Season)
- 1 Bottle Radiator Fluid (Pre-Mixed)
- 2 Calgary Flames Car Flags
- Booster Cables
- Toque
.

Um what?'


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