You Know What Really Grinds My Gears? Now with 3x more gears...

[TrentCrimmIndependent]

This is my favourite kind of story time

We might need a Pooptales thread

[Doctorfever]

Ok. Their are two types of adults in this world….

[Cecil Terwilliger]

How much #### does it have to be to qualify as '####ting your pants' though?

Is just a little skidmarks enough? I don't think so. To qualify as ####ting your pants there needs to be a not negligible volume of #### in the underpants. I might even go so far as to say that if there's no possibility of seepage, then you didn't really #### your pants now did you? However this doesn't fully account for wet ####s. If you've got a norovirus or some sort of stomach flu/food poisoning, then it's maybe more akin to wetting your pants than it is globules of ####.

As a non pants ####ter kind of guy, I'm just not sure. Perhaps some of CPs resident pants ####ting experts, of which we apparently have many, can weigh in.

[Cecil Terwilliger]

I've never complained about the swear filter but it would make this discussion a lot more grown up if we could actually see the word ####.

[timun]

There must be a threshold on the Bristol Stool Scale for ####ting one's pants. Does it really count if it isn't at least Type 6? Maybe not a fully formed Type 4 turd though.

[Sliver]

Buddy of mind ####s his pants all the time. Best one was after some suspect Indian food downtown. #### himself while standing up, the #### split into two halves as it hit his boxers, ran down both legs and into his shoes. Dude had to stand in the empty bus all the way home since he couldn't sit down.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by TrentCrimmIndependent

This is my favourite kind of story time

We might need a Pooptales thread

Start 'er up!

[Knut]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Buddy of mind ####s his pants all the time. Best one was after some suspect Indian food downtown. #### himself while standing up, the #### split into two halves as it hit his boxers, ran down both legs and into his shoes. Dude had to stand in the empty bus all the way home since he couldn't sit down.

"Buddy of Mine"

[Cecil Terwilliger]

Originally Posted by timun

There must be a threshold on the Bristol Stool Scale for ####ting one's pants. Does it really count if it isn't at least Type 6? Maybe not a fully formed Type 4 turd though.

That was a dangerous click but damn if you aren't right on track with what I was thinking.

[surferguy]

Originally Posted by Cecil Terwilliger

I've never complained about the swear filter but it would make this discussion a lot more grown up if we could actually see the word ####.

Everybody knows you are saying #### and not ####

[Wormius]

I used to carry a half-roll of t.p. with me in my backpack when I would run. Good insurance policy.

But, given the choice between showing my butt and squatting in some alley, versus crapping my pants, I’d opt for squatting in an alley or behind a car or a trusted friend with their coat acting as a curtain. Like, in the pants? That’s just not good planning.

[Fuzz]

Originally Posted by Wormius

I used to carry a half-roll of t.p. with me in my backpack when I would run. Good insurance policy.

But, given the choice between showing my butt and squatting in some alley, versus crapping my pants, I’d opt for squatting in an alley or behind a car or a trusted friend with their coat acting as a curtain. Like, in the pants? That’s just not good planning.

I'm not sure anyone really plans to #### their pants. Sometimes #### happens.

[Wormius]

Originally Posted by Fuzz

I'm not sure anyone really plans to #### their pants. Sometimes #### happens.

I think deep inside, you know, and those crucial minutes are what separates a person drenched in poop and one who’s not.

[Doctorfever]

Originally Posted by Wormius

I think deep inside, you know, and those crucial minutes are what separates a person drenched in poop and one who’s not.

Minutes? I’m sure there have been times I wish I had minutes.

[TheIronMaiden]

One time when I was very sick with food poisoning I had cleared all the solid from by system and began spraying what little water I could hold down. Often times it was still cold from the tap which was an interesting feeling to ####. While I was sleeping I guess I must have farted because I woke up covered in ####. I #### the bed. Thank goodness I was wearing PJs.

[Hemi-Cuda]

I think a lot of people here really need to play the classic game Don't #### Your Pants

https://www.crazygames.com/game/dont-####-your-pants

[MoneyGuy]

Remember that time Trump #### his pants? That was awesome.

[Wormius]

Some timely crossover humour from The Last of Us by the great Will Livingston:

Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?

Spoiler!

it runs in your genes

[Wormius]

I was whining about our express bus making too many stops earlier, but what GMG is when passengers get all uppity about when the driver makes a mistake and goes up to get all Karen-ey about it. Like is it really worth the effort to get out of your seat, go all the way up and reprimand the driver for making an unnecessary stop?

[timun]

I used to take an express bus, and frankly sometimes the drivers needed to be reminded they were driving an express route. There was a reason the passengers caught an express bus: to get where we were going faster than the "regular" route, at the expense of fewer stops. If I wanted a regular bus I'd have caught one.