What is your go to small chat?

[snootchiebootchies]

[Dion]

No word of a lie.

I'm in McDonalds a month ago and this female EMT worker is standing beside me as we wait to have our orders prepared. She turns to me and comments on my bright green golf outfit. Checkered green pants, bright green shirt and matching hat.

EMT: "The women must love it when you wear those bright colors"

Dion: "I get lots of good comments on my golf outfits but unfortunately I don't get any phone numbers"

EMT: "Would you like mine?"

Dion: "I guess if you're offering, okay, why not"

EMT: "911"

Everybody standing around us burst out laughing, including me and the EMT woman. Her response was brilliant

[Winsor_Pilates]

Work/Industries/Places/Music/Movies/TV/Sports
Never weather

[I-Hate-Hulse]

"Mike Smith...Brutal eh?"

[SoulOfTheFlame]

''So where are you from?''

Canada.

Looks at me like I'm an idiot.

''No, like, where are you really from?''

Canada.

(The joys of being a brown dude.)

[Nyah]

"So what's your favourite episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation?"

[DownhillGoat]

Originally Posted by Maritime Q-Scout

Then weather is an easy go to.

I would rather be punched in the face than talk about the weather. Awkward silence is infinitely better.

[MoneyGuy]

Ginger or Mary Ann?

[Kiran403]

Originally Posted by SoulOfTheFlame

''So where are you from?''

Canada.

Looks at me like I'm an idiot.

''No, like, where are you really from?''

Canada.

(The joys of being a brown dude.)

LOL I hate when people ask me that. I go out of my way to drag it out.

Them: So where are you from?

Me: Calgary

Them: No, like where are you from, from?

Me: I grew up in Saskatoon.

Them: No but where were you born?

Me: I was born in England. (Truth)

Them: No but like where are your parents from?

Me: East Africa (also true)

Them: Oh....so you're African?

Me: No

Them: …….

[Fuzz]

Them: Oh....so you're African?

Yes! Just like you, if you go back far enough, as you seem insistent on doing...

[bob-loblaw]

'What do you think of the rectum as a whole?' is usually a good ice breaker/head scratcher.

[OutOfTheCube]

Originally Posted by Nyah

"So what's your favourite episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation?"

I would be instant friends with this person.

[JohnnyB]

Originally Posted by bob-loblaw

'What do you think of the rectum as a whole?' is usually a good ice breaker/head scratcher.

"As a whole" or "as a hole"?

[CaptainCrunch]

My first murder looked exactly like you.

[bob-loblaw]

Originally Posted by JohnnyB

"As a whole" or "as a hole"?

That's usually the first question you get, hence the head scratcher. My response is usually 'you decide'. After that they usually say 'uh, it's okayyyy? Not sure how to respond to that.'

It's a good way to scare them away or see if they have my sense of humour.

[Traditional_Ale]

Nm.

[activeStick]

"The sky is blue...." and wait for their response

[CaptainCrunch]

Use a cheesy movie spy phrase like


"The tall man sits in a chair in the corner"


Then stare intently


When he goes "What" or "Huh"


Then say


"You are not the person I am looking for"


Then walk off.


Note would probably work best if you use a russian accent.