Edmonton is No Good Episode 4: New Rink, Same Stink

[GioforPM]

Originally Posted by getbak

How dare people complain about the lack of washrooms in our new half billion dollar arena. Why don't you all just quit yer whining and pee in the sink?

I can't tell you the amount of times I saw people peeing into those back when we had them. I suppose it was one stop shopping.

[Erick Estrada]

Originally Posted by Ozy_Flame

Or possibly hot date. Edmonton women can't resist old men in greasy Luchador masks.

Par for the course with Edmonton matchmaking services. Maybe she opted to pay the $10k for full set of teeth, a car and a house.

[McG]

Originally Posted by Erick Estrada

Par for the course with Edmonton matchmaking services. Maybe she opted to pay the $10k for full set of teeth, a car and a house.

He also made the correct style choice of going with the brown leather oxfords with his grey sweat pants to show his style instead of the usual black penny loafers... The brown draws out the colour of the 90 day old mustard stains!

I was wondering though if it could have been the woman that was giving the finger to the sharks in the first round? Her celebrity and being in demand for hot dates with the Oiler fans probably means that she now has to attend games in disguise.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by BurningYears

Took this during the "game" definitely begging for some captioning/meme action. Made me laugh pretty hard.

He's clearly looking up hints on how to get out of the friends zone where he's clearly banished to.

Him - "I don't understand why she doesn't love me, this mask is wizard"

Her - "You're such a great friend can you change the Oil in my car and renovate my bathroom for free"

[GioforPM]

Originally Posted by BurningYears

"So he invited me to the game with ice level tickets, so I said yes..."

[Yrebmi]

Originally Posted by icarus

Q: Where do Oilers fans go pee?

A: Depends

[IMG][/IMG]

[Five-hole]

For any Flames "fans" cheering on the Oilers, read this:

http://www.pressreader.com/canada/ed...82037617721403

Article is from 2007, but no less relevant.

[McG]

Originally Posted by Yrebmi

[IMG][/IMG]

Coiler Soilers! Brilliant!

[Cecil Terwilliger]

Originally Posted by getbak

Of all the idiotic things David Staples has written over the years, this has to come pretty close to the top...




How dare people complain about the lack of washrooms in our new half billion dollar arena. Why don't you all just quit yer whining and pee in the sink?

Just to make sure he meets his goal of a min of 1 moronic thing typed per day, his headline for his game write up:

Referees ruin the game as Ducks beat Oilers 4-3 in overtime

[djsFlames]

Always have to give it up to the Oilers media heads for not allowing their personal feelings or fandom to compromise a professional and grounded analysis of the games.

[ThisIsAnOutrage]

McDavid and the Oilers to follow the Sweet Smell of Success back to Anaheim, Series tied 2-2


Having picked up the scent of playoff success, the Edmonton Oilers’ top dog, Connor McDavid (1g, 0a, 0pts, +1), led the hunt for a 3-1 series lead in game four of the Western Conference Semi-Final against the Anaheim Ducks. Despite delivering 110% blood, sweat, and tears, the well-oiled score-machine nevertheless watched as his team fell into a funk as the game wore on and the Ducks tied the series at 2 games a piece with a 4-3 win in overtime.


Realizing that the past two home games in Edmonton had been no bed of roses for his team, Oilers’ forward Jordan Eberle (0g, 0a, 0pts, -1) was brief in a post-game interview, offering a sharp, on-the-nose summary of the game. “Connor gave it his all out there, but aside from that, we stunk tonight,” When asked what the team could do to rally around their effervescent captain, Eberle gave a wink and added, “We have a few good luck traditions that remind us that we are all part of the same team. Like a bunch of us all wear the same cologne. Here, smell.”


While descriptions of the fragrance proved elusive for many, in an official statement from cosmetics behemoth L’Oreal, it was confirmed that the scent consisted of a base of 1985's FiFi award-winning men's fragrance of the year, Drakkar Noir, with a little “je ne sais quoi” added to give it a modern, northern hockey distinction.


So popular was the derivative fragrance, “Dakkar Oiloir No. 97” (for him and her) that Oilers' Season Ticket Holders and Huddled Concourse Masses alike queued up in lines as long as 25 minutes all around Rogers Place just for the sweet relief of finally letting go with their own, personal bottle. While piqued about missing parts of the game fans had little option as the powerful and highly sought-after elixir is available only in Edmonton's Ice District during Oilers’ home games.


Also getting in on the action and, positively oozing savoir-faire, was Oilers’ Assistant General Manager and fragrant man about town, Keith Gretzky, who was eager to weigh in on what the fragrance had done for team spirit in the locker room. “The guys love this stuff! They know it’s theirs and they make it theirs!” beamed Gretzky. “How can I describe it? It has all of the traditional top notes you love from Drakkar Noir; the bergamot, the rosemary, the lavender; but underneath it is a certain heady, steamy aroma that reminds you of the streets of Edmonton surrounding Rogers Place itself. It is the smell of playoff excitement in Edmonton!”


When asked of his thoughts on Drakkar Oiloir No. 97, former Oilers’ 2005 first round pick turned Anaheim Duck, Andrew Cogliano (0g, 0a, 0pts, -1), declined even the politest whiff. Stated Cogliano, “They’ve been working on something like this for about a decade now and I can tell you, once it gets on you, it takes a long, long time to wash off.”


While the cloud enveloping the Oilers’ team bus as it departed for Edmonton International Airport after the game left no doubt that Oilers players approved of the aroma, inside sources revealed that the fragrance had been the cause of a little consternation as Oilers’ players David Desharnais, Benoit Pouliot, and back-up goaltender Laurent Brossoit simply could not agree on how to pronounce “Oiloir.”

[Burninator]

Originally Posted by BurningYears

Disgusted with embarrassment for how this man is dressed his beard vomits.

[Winsor_Pilates]

Originally Posted by Azhouse

You have to laugh at society today. Five people pictured and four of them are on their phones.

To be fair, they're at an Oilers game. Should be 5/5.

[memphusk]

Probably the online sale event on sweatpants. Hahahahaha

[dash_pinched]

Originally Posted by BurningYears

Took this during the "game" definitely begging for some captioning/meme action. Made me laugh pretty hard.

[lambeburger]

The most salty article I've read in a very long time:

http://edmontonjournal.com/sports/ho...-3-in-overtime

[BigRed]

Originally Posted by lambeburger

The most salty article I've read in a very long time:

http://edmontonjournal.com/sports/ho...-3-in-overtime

Staples is an embarrassment.

[Erick Estrada]

Originally Posted by BigRed

Staples is an embarrassment.

Have to admit though it's good clickbait for the newspaper. I admit I can't help myself as he's so bad at what he does it's just hard to look away.

[EldrickOnIce]

Originally Posted by lambeburger

The most salty article I've read in a very long time:

http://edmontonjournal.com/sports/ho...-3-in-overtime

That was beautiful

[topfiverecords]

Refs had zero impact on that game.

Goal 1 = Incidental contact outside of the crease. Larsson glides back and bumps Perry. Wasted challenge. Too bad. Good goal.
Goal 2 = Clear onside except for a miniscule chance the trailing skate was off the ice. Indistinguishable to linesman and anyone else during live play. No challenge available. Too bad. Good goal.
Goal 3 = I'll agree. Ref's missed calling a penalty on this one for Getzlaf being stronger than Nothing-Happens. Good goal.
Goal 4 = Linesman made the right call waiving off icing as Klefbom turns away from the puck. Good goal.