04-29-2019, 01:37 PM
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#1
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Fearmongerer
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Wondering when # became hashtag and not a number sign.
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Want to live longer men? Stare at breasts/puppies and have lots of sex
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STARING AT BOOBS: In the #MeToo era this might not be the most correct Rx, but apparently it creates a positive mindset in men. Alternatively, looking at cute animals does the same thing. A 2012 study in the Archives of Internal Medicine revealed that after a year, positive thinking improved heart health and high blood pressure.
HAVE LOTS OF SEX: A study in the British Medical Journal revealed a healthy sex life could cut a man’s mortality rate by as much as 50%. Sex is a stress reliever, promotes physical well-being and reduces the chances of getting ill. It also releases “happy hormone” serotonin. In the study, life expectancy went up by three to eight years among men who had the most orgasms.
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https://torontosun.com/news/world/st...e-longer-study
__________________
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The Following User Says Thank You to transplant99 For This Useful Post:
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04-29-2019, 01:40 PM
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#2
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Calgary, Alberta
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Wait, get married and have lots of sex? Mission Impossible?
(/obligatory)
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The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Slava For This Useful Post:
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04-29-2019, 01:44 PM
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#3
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Lifetime In Suspension
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Whatever. I’ll stick with jacking it and watching Snow Dogs. But like at different times, don’t make it weird.
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The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to ResAlien For This Useful Post:
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afc wimbledon,
btimbit,
Cuz,
direwolf,
jammies,
KelVarnsen,
Mass_nerder,
Reaper,
Robbob,
topfiverecords,
wwkayaker
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04-29-2019, 01:48 PM
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#4
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First round-bust
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: speculating about AHL players
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Makes sense. If you stare at breasts long enough, you'll probably end up on life support.
__________________
"This has been TheScorpion's shtick for years. All these hot takes, clickbait nonsense just to feed his social media algorithms." –Tuco
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04-29-2019, 02:12 PM
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#5
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First Line Centre
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Fort McMurray, AB
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Quote:
Originally Posted by transplant99
STARING AT BOOBS: In the #MeToo era this might not be the most correct Rx, but apparently it creates a positive mindset in men. Alternatively, looking at cute animals does the same thing. A 2012 study in the Archives of Internal Medicine revealed that after a year, positive thinking improved heart health and high blood pressure.
HAVE LOTS OF SEX: A study in the British Medical Journal revealed a healthy sex life could cut a man’s mortality rate by as much as 50%. Sex is a stress reliever, promotes physical well-being and reduces the chances of getting ill. It also releases “happy hormone” serotonin. In the study, life expectancy went up by three to eight years among men who had the most orgasms.
https://torontosun.com/news/world/st...e-longer-study
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Not to kick sand on this science as I am all for it, but isn't a man's mortality rate still fixed at 100%?
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The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to schteve_d For This Useful Post:
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04-29-2019, 02:47 PM
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#6
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Franchise Player
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Quote:
Originally Posted by schteve_d
Not to kick sand on this science as I am all for it, but isn't a man's mortality rate still fixed at 100%?
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Never take your eyes off breasts even for one second and you'll live forever.
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04-29-2019, 03:38 PM
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#7
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Edmonton,AB
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If staring at boobs is healthy then I'm gonna live to be infinity.... at least now I'll have a reason when my wife says excuse me my eyes are up here
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04-29-2019, 04:24 PM
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#8
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Franchise Player
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I am immortal !
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04-29-2019, 04:39 PM
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#9
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Franchise Player
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Sweater puppies for double the benefit?
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04-29-2019, 06:26 PM
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#10
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Uncle Chester
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Check.
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04-29-2019, 07:33 PM
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#12
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Franchise Player
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Quote:
Originally Posted by schteve_d
Not to kick sand on this science as I am all for it, but isn't a man's mortality rate still fixed at 100%?
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Mortality rates are (usually) based on the chance of dying in a given year.
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04-29-2019, 07:48 PM
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#13
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Franchise Player
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Well, ####, now you tell me! Change of plans, I'll get on this right away.
__________________
"The great promise of the Internet was that more information would automatically yield better decisions. The great disappointment is that more information actually yields more possibilities to confirm what you already believed anyway." - Brian Eno
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04-30-2019, 06:41 AM
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#14
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: 127.0.0.1
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Is it now appropriate to stare at a girls boobs while having a conversation with her? science says, yes
__________________
Pass the bacon.
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04-30-2019, 09:55 AM
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#15
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Maple Bay, B.C.
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The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to dash_pinched For This Useful Post:
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04-30-2019, 10:00 AM
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#16
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Franchise Player
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I'm going to talk with HR about putting up posters of boobs around the office to improve men's health.
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04-30-2019, 10:50 AM
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#17
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Norm!
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game of thrones is a medical miracle
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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04-30-2019, 11:02 AM
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#18
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Franchise Player
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch
game of thrones is a medical miracle
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Sister and cousin boobs are the best!
__________________
Peter12 "I'm no Trump fan but he is smarter than most if not everyone in this thread. ”
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04-30-2019, 11:52 AM
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#19
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sylvan Lake
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dash_pinched
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__________________
Captain James P. DeCOSTE, CD, 18 Sep 1993
Corporal Jean-Marc H. BECHARD, 6 Aug 1993
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sliver
Just ignore me...I'm in a mood today.
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04-30-2019, 02:04 PM
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#20
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Franchise Player
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I'm more of a lower extremity guy to be honest. I'm not opposed to the boobs at all but you know. It is what it is. Maybe there's a conversion therapy I could do or something. I mean I've been lying on my life insurance forms this whole time just to get the discount. "Do you look at boobs a) never b) sometimes c) frequently d) obsessively? It would be nice to finally mark that d without feeling the guilt of a bona fide assman.
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