Need advice please... ex-gf stuff!!

[Leapfrog]

I need some help from the CP braintrust...

Quick back story:

Was in a relationship with a girl. Last several years, ended 3+ years ago. While we were together, I agreed to co-sign for her on some financing.

We broke up 6 months or so AFTER the payments started, and things have been going along okay since then. (no contact from the girl, and she has been maintaining the payments)

In Oct, she had notified the finance company that she "just can't keep up the payments" and she's out. The financing company then contacted me to take over the payments.

Not only has she stopped paying them... she has DISAPPEARED. The cell phone, workplace, and residence info I had for her are no longer valid. Finance company has had ZERO contact with her since her Oct email.

I have a new life now, and in a new relationship. I do not want to poison my new life with an additional monthly payment from a past life.



I am asking....

1. How can I find a person that does not want to be found? (I have googled, facebook, linkedin, etc... so hits at all)

2. They keep threatening "bad credit", "small claims" etc to force me to give them money. (I have given 2 payments so far, but it is still in arrears)

3. Any other helpful advice for me at all? This is keeping me up at night!

Thank you for your help!!

[dissentowner]

I think because you co-signed you are hooped. There are a few lawyers on here who would know for sure I imagine. I don't co-sign for anyone.

[Fuzz]

You were with her for a few years, have you tried any of her family?

[MolsonInBothHands]

May I ask what was financed? Is your name attached as a co-owner of whatever it is? I guess it doesn't matter if you can't even find her...

[GoinAllTheWay]

Yikes.....

The risks of being a co-signer.

They aren't "forcing you" to make the payments. This is what you signed up for being a co-signer. You agreed to make payments in the event your ex stopped making them.

As for how do you find her, no idea. My options would be determined by how much left is outstanding I guess?

[CaptainCrunch]

I think you're boned to be honest.


I would read through the loan documents if you have them to see if you can remove your name from the loan, but I believe you are obligated to make payments, if you do for a certain time, some arrangements allow you to get your name off of the loan.


Look for a release clause in the loan documents, basically it will be something like you have to make X amount of payments on the loan and then they'll consider releasing you.


But there's not much you can do, and just looking at some things, if you don't pay it can effect your credit and they can come after you.


If she's vanished, she's screwed you over.

[CaptainCrunch]

As for finding her, the best way is to try to remember her family or friends and reach out to them, but chances are they'll stone wall you to protect her.


I think one of the lawyers here could tell you if you could file a suit and get the notice publicized in the paper, so you can do something like attach her wages.


Or you can talk to the bank, explain the situation and ask how many payments you have to make to get out of this agreement.

[bluejays]

Sorry about your luck firstly. Secondly, you can probably "negotiate" lesser payments to the company if you feel obligated to pay it, just over a longer period. Or, you can explain your situation and hope they settle for less rather than the company selling the contract to a third party collector (in this case the company you signed with would get pennies on the dollar if selling the contract to a third party collector). Love can do crazy things and if anything if it's substantial (like a property payment or something), I'd contact a lawyer. A relatively simple loan like a car, take your lumps and learn, but something like a property loan would be a real conundrum.


As for finding her, it's more like, what would you do if you did? Contacting the people around her would be a start but once you found her how would you get her to pay would be the question.

[Jason14h]

Remember no company wants to send you to collections. They get pennies on the dollar best case

If payments were made for years you should be able to negotiate a pretty nice deal especially if you can get someone to believe you !

[CaptainCrunch]

I agree with Fleury, however it doesn't hurt to talk to the bank or finance company and just explain things. I think for future reference, unless its a close family member that you can murder and bury in the back yard, cosigning loans if you're not married etc is just going to lead to harm. Also when you broke up the best idea is to get her to refinance the loan or find a another co-signer. She basically f'd you hard here and clearly doesn't care.


I would be curious to see what the loan is attached to. If its a care or something, maybe you can get it seized.

[Leapfrog]

Principle left owing is about $8000. Not a TON of money.... but still. What was financed is NOT something that can be seized.

I did agree to co-sign... but for her to just vanish without any contact is super low-class and not what I signed up for.

I am more interested in advice on how to FIND her... not avoid the responsibilites I made when I thought we were together "forever". I am far MORE concerned about finding her than what happens IF I find her.

I kind of figure I'm hooped, but I thought I would reach out in desperation.

[SportsJunky]

I can't make any determination here without a photo.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by Leapfrog

Principle left owing is about $8000. Not a TON of money.... but still. What was financed is NOT something that can be seized.

I did agree to co-sign... but for her to just vanish without any contact is super low-class and not what I signed up for.

I am more interested in advice on how to FIND her... not avoid the responsibilites I made when I thought we were together "forever". I am far MORE concerned about finding her than what happens IF I find her.

I kind of figure I'm hooped, but I thought I would reach out in desperation.

If its nothing that can be seized, then hire a private detective or file charges for fraud.

[troutman]

It's hard for someone to go missing in the age of social media.

You could however hire a "skip tracer" to locate her.

[WhiteTiger]

Originally Posted by Leapfrog

Principle left owing is about $8000. Not a TON of money.... but still. What was financed is NOT something that can be seized.

I did agree to co-sign... but for her to just vanish without any contact is super low-class and not what I signed up for.

I am more interested in advice on how to FIND her... not avoid the responsibilities I made when I thought we were together "forever". I am far MORE concerned about finding her than what happens IF I find her.

I kind of figure I'm hooped, but I thought I would reach out in desperation.

I guess it depends on how much you are willing to spend. If she's disappeared (as far as you know) off of social media, and her family/friends aren't talking to you, basically your only non-stalker option is a private investigator. Beyond that, there's not much you can do. Dropping completely out of someone's life is pretty easy, honestly.

[troutman]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

If its nothing that can be seized, then hire a private detective or file charges for fraud.

What fraud? I take it they are both jointly and severally liable?

[afc wimbledon]

Just try to remember the best shag you ever had with her as you sign over the 8000, there's nothing you can do that wont cost more than that even if you can find her.

[Leapfrog]

I have thought about the private detective route.

Anyone have a "guy" they know for that?

I have given the document to a lawyer, and I am liable.

[Muta]

Have you tried disappearing too? It worked for her, so it way work for you as well.

[4X4]

Financed but can't be seized... Was this just a straight up loan? You should still be able to take her to small claims if you find her.