Quote:
Originally Posted by Scroopy Noopers
They’re too chicken.
|
Its all a ruse, a long-con. Eventually the day will come when Disney feels they own our souls and that humanity is under their thumb, and when that day comes....and it will come my friend, when that day comes they will prove their power by unleashing their greatest character ever!!
Darth Jar Jar.
It will retcon everything we've ever known or thought we've known about Star Wars.
- Fractious Inter-Galactic Trade Negotiations? Jar Jar was there.
- Eroding the Jedi Council? Jar Jar was there?
- Authoritarian take over of a Democratic Society? Jar Jar was there.
- New throw-rug in the Emperor's Throne room? Jar Jar was there and thought it really tied the room together.
- Vader's Surgery? Oh you better believe Dr. Jar Jar was there.
- When Owen and Beru were murdered? Oh yes....Jar Jar.
- Unshielded Death Star Exhaust Port? Architect First Class Jar Jar reporting for Duty!
- Random murderous Wampa? Nope. Jar Jar....in disguise.
- Was Yoda alone on Dagobah? Nope. Jar Jar was there. He ate R2....he just looked like a giant swamp monster.
- Cloud City Carbon Freeze? You cant believe it wasnt Jar Jar...because it was!
- Why do you never see Boba Fett without his Helmet? Jar Jar. Oh yes.
- Why is the Death Star II orbiting some random forest world with no resources or infrastructure for a major construction project? Chief Engineer and Project Manager extraordinaire Jar Jar front and center right there.