How to take sports less seriously???

[PuckDemon]

I generally don't get TOO into the fandom, but there have been a few rare times when I was unreasonably obsessed and affected by the Flames' disappointments.

Those times were when I was mentally associating sports with my own life. Failure, disappointment, dealing with criticism, wondering if I'm on the chopping block, coming up short after trying so hard...These things all happen in sports and in life as well. It's harder to face your own life, and easier to channel those emotions into the mirror that sports can be.

Once I realize how I'm linking this mentally, I can turn it into a positive. Hockey can show you how much luck can play into success, whether that be injuries, chemistry, or bounces. Sometimes you see struggling players flourish on a new team, under new coaching, or in a more well-suited role. Seeing this can help you be more self-compassionate, and deal with failure/adversity in a more healthy manner.

[saillias]

Deciding you're going to and spending less time on it. Getting older helps. Once you hit a certain age it seems almost selfish or juvenile to be a super fan and sit on your coach for several hours every gane night when you have a mountain of other responsibilities and things to do with your time.

[Monahammer]

Personally, I think this points to a lack of ability to separate emotions in every day life, not just sports.

I recommend you see a therapist and talk about stresses in your life, managing self expectations, and just your feelings in general. Sounds like you could use a good, listening ear with good advice. Most health plans will pay for this now, at least a few sessions worth.

There is no shame at all in seeing someone to talk, even if you're not entirely sure what you're going to talk about. As someone who has been on the other end, it can help in ways you wouldn't at all anticipate.

All the best!

[Savvy27]

I've found that coaching community hockey is an effective antidote to pro sports obsession. For one, there are enough conflicts that you can't watch every game live. Beyond that though, the realization that you can be just as invested in a Tuesday night Minor Hockey Week U15 game at Thorncliffe Arena as you are watching the Flames in a playoff series can provide a lot of perspective on the actual importance of pro sports.

[chemgear]

Originally Posted by dino7c

I think you answered your own question...in a 32 team league your team almost certainly won't win the championship, don't make that the be all end all. Enjoy the wins and don't take the losses too hard. Its just a game afterall.

Yeah, mathematically you'd "win" just a few times a century. Heck even in a 12 team fantasy league you've got less than a 10% chance.

Enjoy the ride. And only when you want to - you don't have to all the time.

[OutOfTheCube]

Originally Posted by chemgear

Yeah, mathematically you'd "win" just a few times a century. Heck even in a 12 team fantasy league you've got less than a 10% chance.

Enjoy the ride. And only when you want to - you don't have to all the time.

Yep - even in the CFL teams end up with 20+ year championship droughts.

[Zoller]

Get older

I was really into the Flames for awhile. Played the GM mode in NHL, watched every game I could, listened to fan960 etc...

Now my career has progressed and there are other things that are more important. I also lost interest in video games which I think really helped. Those GM modes were major time sinks.

[rohara66]

Have a kid.

Poof! Barely any time to catch games live haha.

[chemgear]

Originally Posted by rohara66

Have a kid.

Poof! Barely any time to catch games live haha.

They wanted to take sports less seriously, not destroy his life for the next two decades.

[TheChief]

Once you get a bit older it gets better.


At the end of the day its entertainment, nothing that you can control.



My friend put sports in perspective for me a while back when he said "its millionaires playing a child's game".



There is no loyalty in pro sports. Sports changed for me the moment Francesco Totti retired.



Also there is no hockey god, in what world should an expansion team (tampa) have what 4 cups?


Only time i get worked up these days is when the no goods beat us, which sadly has been often since McDavid.

[GreenLantern2814]

Originally Posted by VFlames

Been a Flames fan since 2007 (maybe underappreciated the Iginla years). Then really got into watching almost every game (starting from the time Flames made the 2015 playoffs with Gaudreau and Monahan).
I think it was around 2017-18 that I may have committed the worse mistake as a sports fan: becoming too attached to them.
Every win was a relief. But every loss made me spiral into meltdowns where I impulsively go onto Capfriendly Armchair GM and come up with stupid trades and buyouts to make me feel better as a person (even though I'm [still] not the biggest fan of Brad Treliving.)
I though it was easy to switch teams to cheer for during this span of sports fandom, but psychologically I couldn't convince myself to actually commit to switching sports teams (only times I cheer for different teams was mostly out of not wanting a team I hate to win the Stanley Cup (ex: last year's Stanley Cup Final, I wanted Colorado to win because I hate to see Tampa Bay win again and trigger more horrible memories of 2004).
Right now at this point, I'm sort of at a crisis as a sports fans. Most of the teams I cheer for now are either bad or mediocre, what was once a source of escape from life (ie. part time jobs and school) is now becoming less enjoyable. The only hobbies I can think of that could potentially distract me from sports are video games and playing drums, yet I feel like I get dragged back down into sports out of some sort of delusion that there is hope for tangible success (99% of the time that never happens). I guess I could go into more detail about how this particular Flames season has somehow been more infuriating than previous bad seasons I've watched, but this post is getting too long and depressing (also I question almost every day about whether or not the organization really cares about being competent; forget about winning and competing, I have to think about whether or not they have dignity. Never forget the arena deal that never was, etc.)
Could someone indulge me, pretend to be a counsellor, and suggest ways I could try to take sports less seriously (ie. get less attached to teams I actively cheer for)? thank you.

What a great topic.

Here’s the first thing you do. At the end of every loss, don’t curse. Don’t get upset. Don’t rant and rave. Say these three words: “Sad for you.”

Because it’s not sad for you. The Flames play like ass, they have to sit and listen to Darryl peel the paint off the walls and talk to the media.

But not you. You get to go smoke a bowl/cigarette/have a drink/play some video games/watch Norm MacDonald clips - you can do whatever you want. So do it.

Don’t sit there watching the post game, watching the around the league highlights. It’s not your problem.

Sports are a hobby. They’re something to fill three hours of your night in the dead of winter every couple days. They give you something to share with your kids, when you have them.

If they’re too frustrating, take a game or a week or two weeks off - it’ll be here when you get back, and unless you move cities, there’s really no cutting the hockey team out of your life entirely.

Past that, they’re not worth tying up any significant amount of your happiness in.

Oh, and don’t gamble on them. I know they’re gross, but I do kinda have to laugh at all the gambling ads - I couldn’t imagine following any of this if it actually cost me money.

Good luck.

[CalgaryFan1988]

Originally Posted by chemgear

They wanted to take sports less seriously, not destroy his life for the next two decades.

Only two decades? Optimist! lol

(kidding, as you were. Cost of living is something else right now though).

[gvitaly]

My way to not take things too seriously is to remind myself that I have zero influence on the outcome of the game. I'm not the pro athlete working his butt off, nor do I have any sway on roster decisions.

I started watching hockey games because I was in awe of what the players could do(mostly Kipper), and how quick and tenacious the game was compared to soccer. That's what I remind myself of when I get frustrated and/or only concentrate on the lack of winning.

[PepsiFree]

Outside of some tragedy falling on you or someone you love which then teaches you “life is too short” (as said: not a recommended method) I think the best way to do it is think about it objectively. Stand outside of you as the fan for a minute, and think of the reality: you’re watching a handful of lucky rich people play a kids game to win a trophy with made up significance in a league that only exists to make money and would not exist if it didn’t. That doesn’t change how you felt watching whatever team growing up, but it’s not hard to see professional sport as anything but completely absurd. You have to turn your brain off to take any of it seriously.

Following sports is fun. The only value it has is if it brings you joy. If it doesn’t, then there is literally no reason to continue following whatever it is that isn’t bringing you joy. If you stopped following the Flames today, nobody would care. Nobody would even notice.

Granted, people obviously come here for therapy. Coming to CP and being nothing but a negative, whiny drag on everything is a release for probably more than just the disappointment of losing a regular season game in January. But it’s a terrible choice. Stop following hockey and go to actual therapy lol. Or just stop following hockey! Or go to therapy, and maybe you’ll find yourself able to enjoy things more.

[Benched]

It also helps not to be around or engage with other toxic/passionate fans. The guy from work who wants to talk about how great his Oil/Habs/Nucks/etc are and how they beat the Flames is very annoying. It’s a lot easier if you can disengage from having these types of conversations so you don’t have to get defensive and it makes it easier to recognize that the teams success is not tied to your success.

[PepsiFree]

Originally Posted by gvitaly

My way to not take things too seriously is to remind myself that I have zero influence on the outcome of the game. I'm not the pro athlete working his butt off, nor do I have any sway on roster decisions.

I started watching hockey games because I was in awe of what the players could do(mostly Kipper), and how quick and tenacious the game was compared to soccer. That's what I remind myself of when I get frustrated and/or only concentrate on the lack of winning.

Just to add to this, because I liked it, but finding the enjoyment in the sport itself is actually a good thing. Don’t be someone who only cares about the Flames, but a Flames’ fan that loves hockey. I get to enjoy Flames losses and games between teams I have no interest in following because I actually like watching hockey. It’s a fun game.

[Goriders]

I’ve learned a few things from being a diehard sports fan. If you get to the point you’re at. Where it’s making you miserable.

1. PVR the game. Check the score and only watch wins.
2. Just shut the TV off and walk away. You’ll be surprised how easy it is to detach from the team you think you’re so attached to. Take a break for a while.

This season especially the teams are all so even that there’s going to be a lot of win one lose one. It’s going to come down to the last week to decide who makes it into the playoffs and who doesn’t. If you can’t handle that scenario. Option 2 is your best bet.

[FiveSeven]

Losing does it for me lol. I used to follow all prospects and their stats. Watch every single game, watch interviews and get depressed when they sucked.

After watching them stay mediocre for years has made me start thinking about better things I can do with my time. Now it’s more of I just loosely pay attention while I’m doing other things. If the game seems really good then I’ll watch it closely.

[Locke]

Whats really funny is how much its changed even in recent history.

Back in the day you were lucky to get, what? Maybe a dozen games on TV per season that werent PPV?

If you wanted the highlights you'd have to sit through a half-hour of TSN and maybe get 2-3 minutes on the Flames after being bombarded with Habs and Leafs stuff for 20 minutes or wait until you read the post-game in the paper the next day?

Now its all 82 games for all 32 teams and you can watch the replay or the highlights on your phone whenever you want. Its everywhere! Its inescapable!

I take it less seriously by channeling crippling pessimism.

[troutman]

Originally Posted by saillias

Deciding you're going to and spending less time on it. Getting older helps. Once you hit a certain age it seems almost selfish or juvenile to be a super fan and sit on your coach for several hours every gane night when you have a mountain of other responsibilities and things to do with your time.

As I get older it gets harder to take seriously the exploits of 25 year old men.

Some of the teams I followed became very successful - it feels good, but not for long.

Live music rarely lets you down like sports can.