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Old 02-26-2021, 04:33 PM   #21
Locke
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Originally Posted by afc wimbledon View Post
mice are the plumbers best friend, well them and wet wipes
Somewhere there is a Plumber...presumably upon a golden toilet, smoking a cigar and counting wads of cash....

"Fully dissolvable...I cant believe those rubes bought that!"
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Old 02-26-2021, 05:28 PM   #22
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I learned the hard way that too many sugar free gummies will clean you out fast and hard.
hILARIOUS!! My kid was complaining of Montezumas and refused to admit to anything. Turns out they gorged on these yesterday. It's been a rough day for them!! HA!!
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Old 02-26-2021, 05:31 PM   #23
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Everything used to destroy my guts and then I found out I had a massive bacterial infection.
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Old 02-26-2021, 05:33 PM   #24
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Garlic. Anything with garlic.
Took me until the age of 35 to figure out that's what was going on.
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Old 02-26-2021, 05:36 PM   #25
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Colyte
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Old 02-26-2021, 06:08 PM   #26
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One could make an argument of everything that is delicious... and most of that is bad for you
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Old 02-26-2021, 10:29 PM   #27
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Garlic. Anything with garlic.
Took me until the age of 35 to figure out that's what was going on.
And it’s in EVERYTHING. Thought I was safe last week with some salt and pepper no name chips. Nope, garlic powder. Realized before I consumed them, but the craving crushing disappointment...
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Old 02-26-2021, 10:48 PM   #28
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pepperoni . and that sucks for me.
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Old 02-27-2021, 12:08 AM   #29
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Colyte
The worst and don't remind of the taste
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Old 02-27-2021, 12:22 AM   #30
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One could make an argument of everything that is delicious... and most of that is bad for you
You have clearly met my ex wife and almost every girlfriend I have ever had
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Old 02-27-2021, 12:38 AM   #31
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The classic review of the Haribo suger free gummi bears.

https://www.amazon.com/review/R2JGNJ5ZPJT4YC

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1.0 out of 5 stars See you in hell, Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi Bears
Reviewed in the United States on June 5, 2015
Flavor: Gold Bears
It was my last class of the semester, and the final exam was worth 30% of our grade.
After a late night study session I felt confident, but I had to decide between sleeping in or cooking breakfast. My eyelids chose sleep.
My stomach later regretted this decision, and after several uncomfortable stomach growls, I finally decided to make a quick stop by the campus bookstore and grab a snack before my test. Since the semester was ending and everyone was going home for the summer, a lot of items were on sale, including the snacks and candy that they kept up front. Being in the hungry state that I was in, it felt only logical to pick the largest, yet least expensive candy in order to get more bang for my buck.
And there they sat: two bags of Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi Bears, buy one get one free.
"What a deal!" I thought naïvely. I would eat one bag before my test, and one bag afterwards.
As I walked to class, I gleefully chewed on those abominable little bastards, unaware of the utter mayhem that they would soon unleash upon my poor, poor anus.
I sat down at my desk as the professor informed us that, due to issues with cheating in the past, restroom breaks would be prohibited until the completion of the exam.
"I'll give you 10 minutes to use the restroom now; this will be your last chance. Any takers?"
The demon bears hadn't released their unholy necromancy upon my stomach yet, so in my moment of ignorant foolishness, I remained seated, still munching on those miniature bear-shaped bombs.
After the students wise enough to take the professor's offer had returned, the professor handed out the test. I was six questions in when it happened.
It started subtly at first, almost like a slight tingly sensation in my lower abdomen. I thought nothing of it, assuming my intestines were just doing their thang. Little did I know that my intestines were trying desperately to warn me of the horror that was on the horizon.
By question 9 it happened again, but this time it was followed by a sharp pain, as if those infernal hellions had orchestrated an attack upon my colon. I fought to contain the groan that tried escaping my lips. It was at this point I began to panic; something was going horribly long, and I needed to get through this test before it got any worse.
By question 14 my worst fear was upon me; the Satan bears' burning, hot, liquidy dark magic crashed against my anal sphincter like a tidal wave. I was able to close the hatch just in time, but those relentless, toxic bears beat against it like Orcs breaking down the doors of Helm's Deep. I knew I wouldn't be able to so much as shift in my seat without risking a breach.
I kept fighting through my exam, clenching my cheeks with all my might. Beads of sweat began rolling down my neck. Suddenly, a loud, gurgling war cry came from my belly, and the entire class lifted their heads.
At this point, nothing mattered except expelling this ungodly presence from my bowels. With 15 questions left, I promptly wrote C for every answer and ran out of the classroom. My professor yelled something, but I was too preoccupied with the volcanic eruption that needed to take place before I could find sweet, sweet relief.
I burst into the restroom like the Kool-Aid man and, behold, the handicap stall was empty. Sun rays from the adjacent window shone upon it, as if it were a gift from God himself. It took me less than .5 seconds to undo my belt buckle, pull down my pants, and finally relax my weary buttocks upon the toilet seat.
It took absolutely no effort to expel this demon. Almost immediately, the floodgates of hell were opened and the damned, liquified souls of an entire bag's worth of gummi bears cried as they burned through my sphincter and into the watery abyss below. I had never felt such simultaneous relief and anguish in my life.
After 30 more minutes of this, I immediately went home, dug a hole in my backyard, and burned the remaining bag of gummi bears.
I leave with this; do not, I repeat do NOT eat these spawns of Satan. Not only did they cause me to fail my final test, but the anguish I experienced is something I wouldn't wish upon anyone, not even my worst enemy. The only place these god forsaken hell bears belong are buried deep below the Earth's surface.
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Old 02-27-2021, 03:42 AM   #32
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Chili. Delicious & Deadly. Especially fast food chili with the visible pockets of oil, fat and spice in it.

Theater popcorn when combo'd with a large coke. It's like making that grade 3 volcano experiment in your own body.

Water or flat drinks every single time now.

A lot of things get to me now. Have to remind myself to eat lightly when dating lol.
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Old 02-27-2021, 05:47 AM   #33
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Old 02-27-2021, 06:32 AM   #34
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Originally Posted by djsFlames View Post
Chili. Delicious & Deadly. Especially fast food chili with the visible pockets of oil, fat and spice in it.

Theater popcorn when combo'd with a large coke. It's like making that grade 3 volcano experiment in your own body.

Water or flat drinks every single time now.

A lot of things get to me now. Have to remind myself to eat lightly when dating lol.
Water? You may want to get that checked out.
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Old 02-27-2021, 11:34 AM   #35
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When I smoked, coffee and a cigarette really cleared me out. Not sure that counts though.

Past that, I'm pretty lucky to have a cast iron stomach.
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Old 02-27-2021, 11:51 AM   #36
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I rarely have McDonalds, but I have noticed that having a Big Mac will clear out my system. Must be all the fat
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Old 02-27-2021, 01:10 PM   #37
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Pizza. I love pizza. But there is some spice in the sauce that causes my system to be completely flushed out even after only two slices. Usually at 4 am. Like a clock. Like a f...n’ clock.
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Old 02-27-2021, 01:40 PM   #38
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If I have a single sip of coffee. Otherwise it's draft beer and the awful things I tend to consume while drinking draft: bar wings, fried foods, cheese, fried cheese, fried foods with cheese on them...
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Old 02-27-2021, 05:30 PM   #39
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KFC for me...

Thank god the one by my house shut down...
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Old 02-27-2021, 05:43 PM   #40
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An extra large coffee is a big part of my daily elimination process.
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