Friendships?

[81MC]

Pretty pathetic I suppose, but how do you all go about creating friendships in your adult years? Since I’ve moved to the City (almost a decade ago) the only friends I developed were through work, or the ex. So with a job change, those work buddys gradually started becoming more like fond memories. 10 years now, and (as bad as this sounds), I had two friends who live here...and ones my ex and the other is a bit of a particular situation.
I really like my own space and time, but sometimes I do miss having real adult relationships just for the fun of them.

So, how did you meet your ‘friends’, and do you actively seek out new people? Are you so busy you don’t have time for them, or do you wish you had more? Yada Yada Yada.

[peter12]

It's not pathetic. It's very hard. I moved to Vancouver at 29, got divorced, and ended up all alone in a new city, so I've been there, for sure.

You've got to get yourself out there, and just make what you can of it. It took me a few years, but I have a small group of friends.

I wish I had more, and I definitely miss my Alberta friends, but it takes time.

[Otto-matic]

Originally Posted by 81MC

Pretty pathetic I suppose, but how do you all go about creating friendships in your adult years? Since I’ve moved to the City (almost a decade ago) the only friends I developed were through work, or the ex. So with a job change, those work buddys gradually started becoming more like fond memories. 10 years now, and (as bad as this sounds), I had two friends who live here...and ones my ex and the other is a bit of a particular situation.
I really like my own space and time, but sometimes I do miss having real adult relationships just for the fun of them.

So, how did you meet your ‘friends’, and do you actively seek out new people? Are you so busy you don’t have time for them, or do you wish you had more? Yada Yada Yada.

What are your interests. I've actually met a few people off CP and become pretty good friends with them.

[rayne008]

Join a sports team as a single. calgarysportsclub.com

It's good to put yourself out there meeting people you wouldn't normally encounter.

[GordonBlue]

Originally Posted by 81MC

Pretty pathetic I suppose, but how do you all go about creating friendships in your adult years? Since I’ve moved to the City (almost a decade ago) the only friends I developed were through work, or the ex. So with a job change, those work buddys gradually started becoming more like fond memories. 10 years now, and (as bad as this sounds), I had two friends who live here...and ones my ex and the other is a bit of a particular situation.
I really like my own space and time, but sometimes I do miss having real adult relationships just for the fun of them.

So, how did you meet your ‘friends’, and do you actively seek out new people? Are you so busy you don’t have time for them, or do you wish you had more? Yada Yada Yada.

it's hard. all my friends were ones I've had since my first job after high school. everyone else have just been acquaintances.
I think now, I'm down to 2 friends as life has moved on.

sometimes I wish I had more people to call up, but doing stuff usually takes time and money. I have precious little of each.

for you all I can suggest is the usual, join clubs and groups. church, if that's your thing. anywhere there might be people who are not drunk.

[Muta]

35 and single here; I became good buddies with a guy at work, and through him, I became friends with his friends and then friends of their friends. It took a long time and a dedication to do it, but now I have a social circle of 15-20 people that I can ring up or text, aging from people younger than me to people older than me.

That's how I did it; I guess it also depends where you work though (company and location). Being downtown didn't hurt either.

[SebC]

It might be awkward, but don't overlook reconnecting with the "old work buddies".

[rubecube]

It's hard unless you find a group with similar interests. I moved to Victoria 10 years ago with a girlfriend and the only friends I had were friends who had also moved from Calgary and their extended friends/partners. I joined a softball team after I broke up with the girlfriend and started hanging out with people with similar interests and then got to know their circles of friends.

[habernac]

I live on a cul-de-sac. I saw a bunch of people drinking beer on their driveway so I grabbed a couple of beers, walked down and introduced myself. I now have people who keep an eye on my house when I'm away, we look out for each other's kids, etc.

[mrdonkey]

The Meetup app is a great, no-commitment way to find activities and hobby groups you’re interested in. They don’t pay me to shill for them or anything, I just found it a helpful resource to find out what kinds of things were going on locally where I’d have a good chance of meeting people with common interests.

Other than that, join some clubs and rec teams, get involved in volunteer work, and talk to co-workers. Throw a party or organize a barbecue at a park someplace and invite people you interact with regularly. You’d have to be a real lost cause to not make friends if you do all that.

[Lubicon]

As an introvert it isn't easy to make friends but on the positive side that doesn't bother me much. My wife and I moved here over 20 years ago, I would say we have one set of good friends and that's it - and we only see them once a month or so. I have beer league hockey buddies but we all go our separate ways after games. Right now I'm okay with it, I don't feel lonely.

[rubecube]

Also, in my experience, getting drunk with people is a great way to make friends. I actually have quite a few friends that came from just randomly meeting them at the bar one night. You don't have to do it every time you get together but having a real good piss up with people is a great way to form bonds and get future invites for some reason.

[DuffMan]

I met all of my current friends golfing.
keep in mind it's good to have friends with the same interests and hobbies.

[MelBridgeman]

Don't post excessively and obsessively on an online sports forum

[Bonded]

Originally Posted by peter12

It's not pathetic. It's very hard. I moved to Vancouver at 29, got divorced, and ended up all alone in a new city, so I've been there, for sure.

That sucks, last I read, you were off to Van to support the law student wife.

Good luck!


Also, I hang out with the guys I know from university and one guy from high school. I have thought about to make new friends and I am not really sure how haha.

[afc wimbledon]

join things, anything, volunteer, sports if you're younger, lodges when you're older ( lodges tend to get overlooked as they are so old fashioned but they are a great way to do voluntary work while meeting people depending on your community)

[calf]

If any of your old work friends have had kids in the last few years, definitely try and reconnect with them as I'm sure they're looking for some time away from their wife and kids.

[Bonded]

Originally Posted by afc wimbledon

join things, anything, volunteer, sports if you're younger, lodges when you're older ( lodges tend to get overlooked as they are so old fashioned but they are a great way to do voluntary work while meeting people depending on your community)

You know, I was looking at some those clubs and lodges and it is too bad they don't really seem to exist for younger people. Looks like they were a great way to connect with the local community.

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by calf

If any of your old work friends have had kids in the last few years, definitely try and reconnect with them as I'm sure they're looking for some time away from their wife and kids.

Yeah but this can pretty quickly become an exercise in frustration and futility depending on the family dynamics.

[peter12]

Originally Posted by Bonded

That sucks, last I read, you were off to Van to support the law student wife.

Good luck!


Also, I hang out with the guys I know from university and one guy from high school. I have thought about to make new friends and I am not really sure how haha.

Well, life doesn't always go as planned! It was for the best, anyway.