Baby on the way... tips for a first time parent?

[fredr123]

Originally Posted by fotze

I am one of the few that will agree with this post. Sure the numbers are exaggerated for humor. Our first was quite a pain in the ass and I really didn't find much enjoyable about the first 6 months at all. The second has been much easier, more because he is easier and more because you aren't so scared of killing it. Before we would boil all the stuff, probably have boiled things less than 5 times with the second. A dropped soother would be boiled, now it is wiped off on your underarm.

I have said that babies are unfinished humans and think they come out of the womb one year before they are really ready. Their digestive systems don't work yet, they can't see, they are basically vegetables for the first couple months. A tiger comes out and can hunt down and antelope within a week. A human takes 15 years before they can wash their balls correctly. (My tiger story probably isn't very accurate)

I agree 100% with the first part at least. Our first, a daughter, turns three this month. From day one she was colicky and really demanding. She hardly slept. We hardly slept. She was cute and all but man what a pain.

Our second was born in June last year. He's the opposite in almost every way imaginable. So easy-going. Hardly cries. Sleeps pretty well. We abandoned most of what we had been told for the first one. Nothing gets boiled, he eats whatever he wants, the dog French kissed him last night, etc. I can't help but wonder if us being less neurotic around him has lead to him being so laid back.

We were lamenting the other day when the last time we went to a pub for wings and a beer with friends or saw a movie in the theatre. All those things that used to be fun for us seem so far away now.

Then there's figuring out child care. That reality just smacked us in the face this weekend. In order to pay for childcare for both of my kids, my wife is going to have to go back to work full time. More than half her wage each month is going to go towards covering child care expenses alone. She's going to work 80 hours a month just so she can afford to work the other 80 hours. Lame.

a $100 ALWAYS makes me happy!

A couple of other things:

If your public health nurse is over the age of 30, take anything she says with a grain of salt... They always have something negative to say to you to freak you out and it turns out to be nothing. Don't be afraid to say no to them. They're breast feeding nazis!

I got my high chair @ IKEA. http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/50146793
Cheap, stable and easy to clean. They sell the table part seprately so if it gets trashed, you just buy a $5 replacement.

Bumbo chairs are cool because they're portable... but again, buy used.

I bought my baby sling @ Zellers for around $25... better than th $100 ones at Bo Bebe.

[Shazam]

Yeah, thank God I have the wife's grandparents down the street. Without them I would've been forced to hire a sexy nanny.

[Table 5]

Originally Posted by Bigtime

Table 5 you are the best. Mad Men waiting room style all the way, what the heck was I doing in the room proper when that kid popped out?

Funny, that's exactly the reference I used when talking about babies with the gf. For some reason, it didn't seem to take.

I'm a big fan of Littletime. Without her, we wouldn't have all that great photography over at SSP. She is the one taking the photos, right?

8 months later and it has been a blast with "Littletime" around the condo. Sure the nights are much less restful but its all forgotten when you get home from work and your baby is just full of smiles to see you!

[guzzy]

I read it on CP but don't recall who posted it - adapting your life around a baby is the easy part. Adapting and understanding your wife becoming a mother is the difficult part.

This is so true. The baby is quite easy. adjusting your life around your wife becoming a mother is the hardest. Things that were laughable to you become that things that are punishable. The list goes on. That is the biggest change.

My advice. Your baby is coming into your life, you are not coming into theirs. Don't become those ridiculous parents that unplug the phones when the baby sleeps. Turn on a vacuum when the kid is sleeping next to you. don't coddle it. Put the kid down and do the dishes. If you smother it they will turn into a socially inept wannabe. LEt the kid make their own choices

Good luck. It is an amazing event in your life.

[Jagger]

Originally Posted by Flame On

I too will be a Dad for the first time in July. This thread is not encouraging. But actually it's good to have the reality.
I guess my Modern Warfare II days are numbered.

Not at all! I actually game more now than I did before, even with a truckload of kids in the house. Obviously 'M' games require you to game when they are not around. Hence my need for a gaming Laptop. Lock yourself in the bathroom, with laptop, if need be. (I've never actually done that but it actually sounds possible!)

This thread should be encouraging though. Yes, having kids is work but it's so worth it. It's honestly the best thing I've ever done in my life. Having one is a complete doddle too. Once the second one comes is where the challenge comes in as you get used to balancing things. However, I strongly believe that children benefit tremendously from siblings, and once you 'get it' it's second nature. Past two it becomes easy again as you get into the groove. Our 4th was oh so easy to adapt to. If/when we have a 5th I believe it will be just as easy for us. (5 is the magic number for us. That's it. No more. People always say we have a handful; well then we will, literally.)

Flame On, don't worry about Modern Warfare II. Babies sleep a heck of a lot early on so there will be plenty of time for that and MWIII as well! It can be done.

[zuluking]

Originally Posted by fredr123

I agree 100% with the first part at least. Our first, a daughter, turns three this month. From day one she was colicky and really demanding. She hardly slept. We hardly slept. She was cute and all but man what a pain.

Our second was born in June last year. He's the opposite in almost every way imaginable. So easy-going. Hardly cries. Sleeps pretty well. We abandoned most of what we had been told for the first one. Nothing gets boiled, he eats whatever he wants, the dog French kissed him last night, etc. I can't help but wonder if us being less neurotic around him has lead to him being so laid back.

Nah, our experience was the opposite. First kid, pretty calm even with the neurotic first-time parent stuff. Second, nightmare incarnate. Third, pretty calm with moments of nightmare. Fourth, his terrible two's have masked any possible memories of him as a baby. Fifth, I'm pretty sure I counted five heads last time I counted anyway.

[BigFlameDog]

Not reading this whole thing but get a Bumbo....it is a rigid foamy sitting device for the kids...around 3-4 months they are wanting to sit up and these things help them until they are strong enough to do it themselves.

Don't think they are even that expensive...googl it but Bo Bebe or Katz Kids in Calgary.

[Bigtime]

The Bumbo chair is usually around $60, hardly what I'd call cheap. But babies sure seem to love them!

[Shazam]

My first hated the bumbo. The second was "meh" towards it, and she learned to sit up properly really quickly anyhow.

[V]

We picked up an exersaucer for like 3 bucks at a garage sale. It does the trick, and it's lasted through three kids with no signs of disrepair. Why would you pay 60 bucks on a Bumbo chair???

[CaptainCrunch]

[Shazam]

Here's my first when she was five months old in a Bumbo. As you can see they're great if you want them on top of your table.

[Puppet Guy]

Jeez, lots of other expectant parents here. We're expecting our first to arrive two months from today. Equal parts scared and excited, which I think is the way it's supposed to be.

[Shazam]

Originally Posted by fotze

Our friends had their kid on the table in a bumbo, and he somehow flipped out of it and landed on his head. Me being paranoid put bumbo only on the floor.

Yeah, don't put them on the table and leave them there

[sclitheroe]

Originally Posted by Puxlut

-buy batteries @ the Dollar store and stock up... because EVERYTHING you will buy for the next 18 years will need eight AA's. Buy stock in Energizer.

Eight...that I should be so lucky. It seems like everything takes 3 AA's these days...I hate toys that take an odd number of batteries. You need an inordinate number of rechargables to ensure that you are charging dead batteries in pairs when everything takes 3. Grr....

[Shazam]

Wait for the rechargeable Duracell sales at SDM.

[JohnnyO]

There is a lot of good advice in this thread.

I would recommend that you register all your products with the mfg. If any saftey recalls occur they will notify you. They are also good about getting you replacement parts, usually for free as well.

As for the wife, get use to limited action between the sheets until the kids move out. You will be the last thing on her mind and too exhausted to want to fool around. Make time for the two of you every so often. You'll be amazed at how much effort is required to "get some" (plan the date, make reservations, find a sitter etc) It truly is ######ed but every guy I know will tell you once you have kids your $ex life will go into the toilet. Throw in a kid that won't sleep and you will have limited success with almost every advance.

Sleep is worth its weight in gold!!!

Oh and Mommy groups are freakin annoying!! They make woman competitive with their kids and woman are good at planning and getting together. The dads that are part of the group are usually not dudes you would normally hang out with as well. We have 1 freakin' event almost every month that we are asked to attend, with limited days off the last thing you want to do is spend it with more kids and people who don't have the same interests with you.

Don't get me wrong kids are awesome watching them grow up and learn is amazing much like a few haqve posted our first was a lot of work (Poor sleeping, eating, whiney) but the 2nd is a piece of cake. (Sleeps, eats well, easy going) The best part of my day is going home and have them come running to me with big hugs and kisses as I walk in door I wouldn't trade that for anything!!

You will get advice from everyone. Do what you think is right. Woman who listen to Oprah and such too much have no idea. Oprah doesn't have kids of her own and is a billionaire!!

[Bigtime]

Originally Posted by JohnnyO

Oh and Mommy groups are freakin annoying!! They make woman competitive with their kids and woman are good at planning and getting together. The dads that are part of the group are usually not dudes you would normally hang out with as well. We have 1 freakin' event almost every month that we are asked to attend, with limited days off the last thing you want to do is spend it with more kids and people who don't have the same interests with you.

This man speaks the truth here. I hate the 'Birth & Babies' class get togethers. The moms usually meet at least once a month and they have tried to do the big get togethers a few times. I made it out to one in the summer; at least it was a BBQ at Sandy Beach park, but trying to talk about anything else besides our babies was a no go. It drove me crazy.

Yes you have a baby now, and that is the biggest deal but I still like to be able to discuss things I am interested in outside of that.

I am also one of those people that will not have my facebook picture be one of just my kid. That's my facebook page, the baby can be in the picture with me.

This page will make you laugh, and it is so true: http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/

[WilsonFourTwo]

A first thought: For baby gifts, ask only for diapers. Trust me....the toys and trinkets may be well appreciated, but most stuff will never get used....meanwhile, you're going broke over diapers! If you can, ask for different sizes.

A second thought: Another thing (that I saw posted here) is avoid baby books. Ask your doctor/friends questions, and then trust your instincts.....you KNOW how to raise a child.....you just don't know that you know, lol.

A third thought: Don't feel guilty about thinking "Geez, these things are boring". Babies don't really do anything exciting, its a fact. Realizing that they're kind of boring doesn't make you a bad parent, it makes you a realist!

The final thought: Beyond everything else you may hear/read, I can offer you the single most important piece of advice in the world. Stuff=stuff.....time=love. Spend time with your kid. Instead of working an extra-shift to make money for 'A Thing', go home and read a book with the little one. Not only will you be happier and save a fortune on junk, but you'll raise a stronger, more confident and loving person. (I 100% Guarantee It)

Good Luck and God Bless!