Let's talk about managing finances when you get married

[bluck]

As I get closer to perhaps taking that plunge into marriage, I did have a few questions I was hoping to get some input on from people may have come across similar situations.

1. Bank Accounts/Finances - Do you tend to keep separate accounts and have a joint account which you each contribute for bills/groceries/daily living necessitates etc? Or do you merge your accounts into one? Also...

- Let's say I make 100K and she makes 50K would you still split the day to day expenses evenly or would whoever makes more be expected to contribute more to the household?

2. Housing - I own my own condo, it's paid off, no debt. My name is on the title. Would I be expected to put her on the title to make it "joint" at some point in time? This is honestly something that concerns me the most and something I am not comfortable with, heaven forbid something happens and we split up and she owns half of my biggest asset.

3. Off topic question but what the hell - Did you ask your spouses father for permission to marry or did you just say to hell with that tradition?

Thanks all for your input in advance.

[Ozy_Flame]

Sounds like you need a prenup, my dude.

[Weitz]

Keep in mind almost everyone is going to have a different opinion on this:

but for me:

1) We have seperate accounts and savings. We split bills based on % of our 'total income'; using your example you would pay 66% and she would pay 33%.

2) Can't really comment here.

3) I did, but more in a lax over a beer type thing not some sort of old school type if that makes sense.

Should note we just got married, so haven't changed from the years of living together prior to marriage may sit down and figure things out better.

[troutman]

You should both consult independently with family law lawyers. You should understand about Matrimonial Property and spousal support, should you ever separate. You may want to execute a pre-nuptial or marriage agreement.

[OMG!WTF!]

Run don't walk to your nearest lawyer for advice on this. I highly suspect you will want a prenuptial agreement that secures your assets on your behalf. That's likely not a conversation you're going to want to have. But I'm sure it is what you need to do.



If it were me, I'd split everything. Her money is yours and vice versa. You now make 75k a year. I can see not wanting to go that route though.

[Weitz]

From my understanding she would only be entitled to appreciation of the condo from when you were common law or married. That's not from a lawyer but from people I know who have been in the situation and have told me over beers.. i.e. may not be totally accurate or at all accurate. (In Alberta)

[Split98]

Meh, me and my fiance both agree we will likely get a prenup. It really only has the negative connotation if you look at as 'you don't think this is going to work'. After seeing friends go through it, both of us decided 'I don't want this to be WHY we'd be forcing things to work'.

[Aleks]

I've always thought it was funny this way. I have friends who are married, have kids, etc and they maintain separate accounts and pay rent and bills to each other. I on the other hand am common law and have had joint accounts ever since we built a house. Granted, our income is nearly identical, but I had more equity in my previous home than her. The lack of a need to "split things" or worry about if everything is even is the way it should be. No bickering over money, it all comes from the same place.

[Split98]

Originally Posted by Aleks

I've always thought it was funny this way. I have friends who are married, have kids, etc and they maintain separate accounts and pay rent and bills to each other. I on the other hand am common law and have had joint accounts ever since we built a house. Granted, our income is nearly identical, but I had more equity in my previous home than her. The lack of a need to "split things" or worry about if everything is even is the way it should be. No bickering over money, it all comes from the same place.

Do your cheques just go to the same account, or do you just transfer x-amount to a joint account that pays the house?

[afc wimbledon]

Your rough rule of thumb is anything you bring into a marriage, ie your condo, you get to keep at the end, anything you purchase during the marriage, pensions, moneys earned etc, get split.
Having separate bank accounts or the like are an irrelevance frankly, particularly if you have kids, as, frankly, are prenups.

[SportsJunky]

We pool everything and make financial decisions of any consequence together. Honestly, I can’t imagine doing it any other way.

[bluck]

Originally Posted by Aleks

I've always thought it was funny this way. I have friends who are married, have kids, etc and they maintain separate accounts and pay rent and bills to each other. I on the other hand am common law and have had joint accounts ever since we built a house. Granted, our income is nearly identical, but I had more equity in my previous home than her. The lack of a need to "split things" or worry about if everything is even is the way it should be. No bickering over money, it all comes from the same place.

This could kind of tie into another question that I have. Let's say I decide to sell my condo (still soley in my name) and "we" decide to purchase a house. However lets say the funds from the house come from my condo. Would I also then be expected to put her name on the title for the new house even thought all the funds would be coming from the sale of my previous property which I would have been the sole owner?

Lets run under the scenario that the sale from my condo would then allow me to purchase a home in Calgary. (Currently live in Van and my condo is estimated at $500,000 here.) so we would not have a mortgage assuming I buy the home in Calgary out right for about 500K

[belsarius]

Originally Posted by bluck

As I get closer to perhaps taking that plunge into marriage, I did have a few questions I was hoping to get some input on from people may have come across similar situations.

1. Bank Accounts/Finances - Do you tend to keep separate accounts and have a joint account which you each contribute for bills/groceries/daily living necessitates etc? Or do you merge your accounts into one? Also...

- Let's say I make 100K and she makes 50K would you still split the day to day expenses evenly or would whoever makes more be expected to contribute more to the household?

2. Housing - I own my own condo, it's paid off, no debt. My name is on the title. Would I be expected to put her on the title to make it "joint" at some point in time? This is honestly something that concerns me the most and something I am not comfortable with, heaven forbid something happens and we split up and she owns half of my biggest asset.

3. Off topic question but what the hell - Did you ask your spouses father for permission to marry or did you just say to hell with that tradition?

Thanks all for your input in advance.

1. We keep separate accounts for incidental spending but all household bills come out of a joint account. She brought more debt to the marriage but also makes more, but in the end we just budget all costs and budget full income from both. We don't look at it as individual incomes but as household and we pay the bills, set up the savings and the rest is split evenly.

2. You would want to check with a lawyer but I know my MIL just went through a divorce and she was entitled to 50% of all appreciation in the value of the home while they were together and as far as I know he had owned it outright before getting married. Probably a good idea to get a valuation before getting married.

3. I asked him and it actually surprised him that I did it. Since her parents are divorced I asked her mom too. I think the thought was appreciated even if I was going through with it regardless of their answer.

My biggest piece of advice is communicate with your spouse-to-be. Finances and children are huge deal breakers and I have had a few friends have marriages end because these things weren't discussed first. See where she lies in regards to finances, how she would like to do things and find a compromise. Pre-nups can be useful but I haven't heard good things when they are just sprung on the one partner without discussing it first.

[Jason14h]

Originally Posted by SportsJunky

We pool everything and make financial decisions of any consequence together. Honestly, I can’t imagine doing it any other way.

I honestly can't image doing it this way.

If think everyone needs there own play $$. If the GF/Wife wants to get a $500 pair of shoes with her money, who am I too comment.

If I want to go on a sports trip? My $$

Pooling for living costs makes sense for sure, but I think each side needs some form of financial independance, even if it is the exact same amount for each person each month.

[#-3]

We didn't keep our own accounts at all, and we do not track personal/individual expenses or income. There are some positives and some negatives, but at the end of the day it is important to understand your spouses financial circumstances, and to not be caught off guard by a lack of self control.

If your are getting married you really should enjoy a comparable quality of life. I can't see how things can work with out that. If you are making double what she makes, and you are keeping finances separate, you should really consider strongly adjusting your fixed expenses to even things out. I don't think you need to outright giver he an allowance, but maybe you should be picking up 75% of the mortgage to ensure her disposable income lets her live life to the same extent as you.

I didn't ask.

[Scroopy Noopers]

1. We still have separate accounts but divided rent/mortgage/bills etc based on percentage of income. We brought different debts into the marriage and agreed to tackle them individually with separate budgets. Once those are all cleared we will probably combined just for ease.

2. Pass.

3. Separated parents. Dad wasn’t really around, Mom raised her, older brother was just as important. I called all 3. They all appreciated it and I had 3 great conversations of support. Highly recommended. It isn’t asking as much as giving them a heads up.

[MoneyGuy]

Originally Posted by Jason14h

I honestly can't image doing it this way.

If think everyone needs there own play $$. If the GF/Wife wants to get a $500 pair of shoes with her money, who am I too comment.

If I want to go on a sports trip? My $$

Pooling for living costs makes sense for sure, but I think each side needs some form of financial independance, even if it is the exact same amount for each person each month.

I can see it SportsJunky's way. We combined everything right from day 1. I was a saver and she was a spender. I owned a house and she had debt, which I paid off for her. I transferred the house into joint title once we were married. I was unemployed briefly and she supported me, and she was off with children for several years.

Even though our money is 100% shared we make personal spending decisions with “our” money. We discuss the large items.

We came into the marriage thinking it was forever so what the ****, go all in. We’re married almost 40 years now. It’s worked. My best advice is to discus it and do what works for you. That’s what we did.

[bizaro86]

We are 100% split, we have only 1 bank account which we share. All income goes in and all expenses come out. It's worked great for us so far (12 years so far).

We have similar attitudes toward money, which I think is why it works.

[rotten42]

In place off a prenup you can get a financial account of both of your assets going into the marriage. For a proper prenup you're going to need that anyway.

[Wormius]

We share everything. No separate accounts. Everything goes in to one account and everything comes out of that account. I mean, aside from TFSAs and RRSPs. Debts before marriage weren’t major, but we paid everything off together

It would seem kind of like you are acting like room-mates if you are going at it much differently than that.