High-Profile Sexual Abuse Epidemic

[Flabbibulin]

This shockingly frequent practice of men texting unsolicited nude photos of themselves to women is so freaking odd. Is it the thrill of doing it, the expectation of reciprocation, or just being so completely out of touch with reality that he assumes the recipient will be overjoyed at the site of a nasty 'ol dong appearing on her phone??

[corporatejay]

Originally Posted by Hockeyguy15

Knowing why and understanding are two different things though. I've never wanted a job so bad that I would put up with something like that, which is why I am having a hard time understanding.

Story after story of abuse, it's clear that we have let a lot of people down.

I'm assuming you are a male (username) and probably white (please correct me if I'm wrong).

The idea here is that you would leave because you would think to yourself "I can get a job elsewhere". Women and minorities have to work much harder to get the same work, so when they finally get a gig in their chosen profession, they put up with a lot more in order to

[Bring_Back_Shantz]

Originally Posted by Matata

If you make discussion over her reasons for staying taboo, then you cut out a huge part of the equation and it becomes impossible to understand the root problems in a nuanced way. Good analysis breeds good solutions, but good analysis is impossible without good data.

Yup, and no one is trying to do that. In fact that is probably the most important part of the conversation.

But framing it as "Why didn't she go to HR?" can come across very differently than "Why didn't she feel she could go to HR?". One is implicitly shifting the blame to her, the other is placing the blame squarely where it belongs, on the people who allow these types of things to continue.

[corporatejay]

Originally Posted by Bring_Back_Shantz

Yup, and no one is trying to do that. In fact that is probably the most important part of the conversation.

But framing it as "Why didn't she go to HR?" can come across very differently than "Why didn't she feel she could go to HR?". One is implicitly shifting the blame to her, the other is placing the blame squarely where it belongs, on the people who allow these types of things to continue.

This is a fair assumption but I think the poster's history indicates that his comment was more along the lines of Psycnet's. "wow, why would you put up with that for so long, what kind of world is this".

Maybe I'm misinterpreting.

[Red Slinger]

Originally Posted by corporatejay

This is a fair assumption but I think the poster's history indicates that his comment was more along the lines of Psycnet's. "wow, why would you put up with that for so long, what kind of world is this".

Maybe I'm misinterpreting.

That's how I read it also.

[Hockeyguy15]

Originally Posted by corporatejay

I'm assuming you are a male (username) and probably white (please correct me if I'm wrong).

The idea here is that you would leave because you would think to yourself "I can get a job elsewhere". Women and minorities have to work much harder to get the same work, so when they finally get a gig in their chosen profession, they put up with a lot more in order to

You are correct, male and white.

I'm not sure it's so much that as I don't think any job would be worth the hell that she went through on a daily basis. I suppose it does help that I would also think I could just get a job elsewhere.

Regardless, it's pretty disgusting how many men think it's acceptable to act like this.

[corporatejay]

Originally Posted by Hockeyguy15

You are correct, male and white.

I'm not sure it's so much that as I don't think any job would be worth the hell that she went through on a daily basis. I suppose it does help that I would also think I could just get a job elsewhere.

Regardless, it's pretty disgusting how many men think it's acceptable to act like this.

I'm not piling on or accusing you, but when people talk about "white male privilege" this is exactly what they mean. Everyone asks themselves "how much am I willing to deal with for this job" and for PoCs and women the threshold is much much higher than ours. You can't understand that perspective because you have never really had to face it.

[taco.vidal]

Originally Posted by Flabbibulin

This shockingly frequent practice of men texting unsolicited nude photos of themselves to women is so freaking odd. Is it the thrill of doing it, the expectation of reciprocation, or just being so completely out of touch with reality that he assumes the recipient will be overjoyed at the site of a nasty 'ol dong appearing on her phone??

Dunno the answer to your question but Brett Favre was sending pics of his junk to team employees almost 10 years ago and the NFL did nothing back then. I think these guys will face some more real punishment.

https://deadspin.com/5720593/on-bret...lful-ignorance

[Strange Brew]

Originally Posted by Cowboy89

HR departments are typically hired by Senior Management. The interests of Senior Management are supposed to be aligned with what's best for the company. That can change especially when it's a Senior management member, a senior employee who holds pull with Senior Management, or a top performer who is the alleged abuser.

HR departments are staffed like every other department. When employees commit crimes, it is in the Company's best interest that they be terminated and prosecuted.

I disagree strongly with your blanket statements about HR departments and companies/business in general and will leave it at that.

[AFireInside]

Originally Posted by rubecube

Is it really that hard for people to figure out why she would have stayed in that position for 3 years? Are people not aware of how tough it is for female media members in pro sports to actually get ahead and be taken seriously? With what we know about how sexual harassment is treated by society, do you not think she might have felt that she a) wouldn't have been believed or b) been given the "well what did you expect? They're pro football players. Boys will be boys?" treatment.

This isn't rocket science.

As an aside. At least on tv and sports networks it doesn't seem like women are having a problem at all getting jobs. When I watch sportsnet or TSN it seems to me like women are actually more common than men at this point.

[Coach]

Originally Posted by Matata

I think un-packaging why she stayed would be very interesting. She wasn't a slave, there was no legal or physical force compelling her to stay, nothing would have prevented her from walking out the door and never coming back. Would no one pay her as well and she thought she could tough it out? Was she so emotionally traumatized that she felt paralyzed? Did she want to build a large body of evidence and smash the NFL in court? Did she just love the NFL so much she couldn't see what was happening?

Well why should she be the one to leave? They’re the ones being disrespectful and gross. She wasn’t the one putting up with it, the NFL was.

I think this whole shift is about we shouldn’t even be considering a “why she stayed” thought process. Does it matter? It’s her job, possibly her dream job, and she’s supposed to walk away because of gross men? It’s not even a part of the question. Hopefully with these things being publicly exposed causing organizations embarrassment and dollars lost, they will actually start acting when people come to them through what are supposed to be the proper mechanisms (HR).

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by AFireInside

As an aside. At least on tv and sports networks it doesn't seem like women are having a problem at all getting jobs. When I watch sportsnet or TSN it seems to me like women are actually more common than men at this point.

Really? How many female announcers and colour commentators can you name offhand? I can think of Cassie Campbell and one woman that does some of the less marquee college football games for ESPN.

EDIT: Here's a list of current TSN on-air personalities. Men vastly outnumber women.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_o..._personalities

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by MattyC

Well why should she be the one to leave? They’re the ones being disrespectful and gross. She wasn’t the one putting up with it, the NFL was.

I think this whole shift is about we shouldn’t even be considering a “why she stayed” thought process. Does it matter? It’s her job, possibly her dream job, and she’s supposed to walk away because of gross men? It’s not even a part of the question. Hopefully with these things being publicly exposed causing organizations embarrassment and dollars lost, they will actually start acting when people come to them through what are supposed to be the proper mechanisms (HR).

If she leaves it also just reinforces their behaviour.

[Ashasx]

Is it possible that more men are interested in being sports commentators than women?

If you make it 50/50, your pool to select women is much smaller than the pool for men.

[PsYcNeT]

I'm pretty sure this story doesn't even have anything to do with visible on-air personalities. We're talking about the dozens of people that work behind the scenes.

[Ashasx]

I'd say it's probably more likely that men are more interested in work in video editing, marketing, etc., as well.

[ernie]

Originally Posted by Hockeyguy15

You are correct, male and white.

I'm not sure it's so much that as I don't think any job would be worth the hell that she went through on a daily basis. I suppose it does help that I would also think I could just get a job elsewhere.

Regardless, it's pretty disgusting how many men think it's acceptable to act like this.

It's not just a job though. In many of these cases we are hearing about it's more than just a job. It's a chosen career. A life's passion. Besides the hell the person goes through every day putting up with the treatment is the ever present threat of "if you say something or report this or try to leave because of it, I will ruin you in this industry".

It's not just a quitting a job. It is, in many respects, quitting life as you envision it.

[Bring_Back_Shantz]

Originally Posted by corporatejay

This is a fair assumption but I think the poster's history indicates that his comment was more along the lines of Psycnet's. "wow, why would you put up with that for so long, what kind of world is this".

Maybe I'm misinterpreting.

Originally Posted by Red Slinger

That's how I read it also.

I said a few times that it's likely his original comment wasn't meant they way I said it could/likely would be interpreted, my point was that without any sort of qualification on his part it's likely going to be construed as implicitly placing the blame on the victim. If you are relying on people having an extensive knowledge of your posting background to understand the meaning of your post, maybe some clarification is prudent.

Also, please tell me you recognize the irony of using the "You should have know what he meant" defense in a thread about sexual harassment.

[Fuzz]

Well this is timely to to the discussion...
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmont...444897?cmp=rss

TLDR; women gets harassed at work, files complaint to boss Jason Nixon, gets fired, and she takes them to court for damages and wins. Which is kinda what I was thinking the NFL women should have done, before I was attacked for victim blaming.

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by Fuzz

Well this is timely to to the discussion...
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmont...444897?cmp=rss

TLDR; women gets harassed at work, files complaint to boss Jason Nixon, gets fired, and she takes them to court for damages and wins. Which is kinda what I was thinking the NFL women should have done, before I was attacked for victim blaming.

Being unemployed and trying to take on a multi-billion dollar sports league in a case that is largely he said, she said unless you have evidence might be a bit daunting, don't you think?