Funny Spam In Your Inbox

[troutman]

These crack me up. More to follow . . .

A friend of mine said that I could instantly locate a chap close by for one-time rendezvous with no responsibility.
This is precisely what I wish!

[Northendzone]

You might want to order some cialis before the rendezvous in case it becomes a longer term commitment than you originally think it will.......

[Sidney Crosby's Hat]

I've heard a lot of spam is so obvious and stupid so as to weed out anyone who's remotely smart. It saves the spammers a lot of time on people who might think they're legit at first and then down the line realize they're not.

Essentially, anyone who thinks that some of these spam offers are legit have to be complete morons and they're pretty much guaranteed to throw away their money on it.

[Barnes]

Hello

I am contacting you in good faith and this proposal will be of mutual benefit. I am George N. Robert, based in the United Kingdom. I have a proposition that I would like to discuss with you.

Please you can contact me on my alternative email, for effective confidentiality or you can possibly send me your telephone and fax number to enable me give you more details of my proposal. Hope to hear from you soon. I truly appreciate your time and understanding.

George N. Robert

Think I'll have to get a fax.

[Boblobla]

Originally Posted by Barnes

Think I'll have to get a fax.

Seems legit, I would just email him your credit card number.

[Northendzone]

i am finding that lately I am getting more spam text messages on my cellie compared to what I am getting via e-mail.

[getbak]

Originally Posted by Northendzone

i am finding that lately I am getting more spam text messages on my cellie compared to what I am getting via e-mail.

Probably because you call it your "cellie".

[CaramonLS]

Make sure that you make your woman happy everynight.
http://www.cheaprxshop.co m


tell position family geoffrey knit forbear sign instantly also command.
examinations aeneas republica the news wishes eloquence mark towards things.

.......wtf?

[Jacks]

^^ That's probably what Google Translate told them to say.

[kirant]

I haven't had many funny ones of my own, but this Cracked article lists some great ones:
http://www.cracked.com/article_17270...ect-lines.html

[Jacks]

[topfiverecords]

Originally Posted by Northendzone

i am finding that lately I am getting more spam text messages on my cellie compared to what I am getting via e-mail.

This is your cellie

[troutman]

Who I am? Shiny blue eyes, twenty two years and I love kittens I love music and roses.
You should describe yourself, cuz I want to know you a little bit closer, write me about yourself.
I like you

[jayocal]

I get these once in a while:

BABE... i guess your not getting any of my email huh? ive been
tryign to email u so many times but this dam laptop is such a piece of
garbage and keeps freezing.. anyways how u been?

In case u dont know who this is its ME Adriana.. we used to chat a bit
on facebook and then I think u deleted me haha.. anyways guess what...
I got 2 things to tell u.. both good news.. 1) im single now.. yup me
and my bf broke up about 3 months ago... and 2) guess where im moving?
RIGHT EFFING NEAR U.. lol... ur actually the only person im gonna know
there.. well 3 cousins too but i cant chill with them lol..

I remember when we chatted u told me u thought i was cute and u wanted
to chill so now we finally can HAHA! im kinda scared to move.. im hoping
this email addy is still the one you use and u can chat with me ebfore
i get there.. maybe even help me move my #### in...are u still on facebook?
i coudnt find ui was soo confused...anyways im gonna need someone to show
me the town and take me out so u better be around bebe...

i wanted to get ot know u better when i was single..and i thoguth u were
cute too but cudnt tell u cause i wasnt single lol...ok so more info about
me.. well im 23.. virgo.. love the outdoors and love to socialize, go out for
drinks, restaurants, movies etc.. travel.. i have a lil kitty named BOO and i luv
her to death... uhhh oh im a super horny gurl too but every gurl is they just wont
admit it. so ilove watching p0rn and all that.. love sex etc blah blah blah...who doesnt..

I really hope we get a chance to chat for a bit either online or on the
fone before i get there enxt week.. i hope u remmeber me and still wanna
chill and arent married yet lol.. OH YA also.. i need to find a job when
i get there..

id LOVE to work in a bar or osmehting like that...really anythgin cause my current
job is fun and all.. and technically i CUD keep doign it but i want a change.. i
currently work from home and well thats cool but i need ot be out
meeting people.. oh wait. i dont think i ever actually told u what i
did? hmm shud i......???? ok WELLLL... and dont get all weirded out
on me.. i work on a webcam chat community site and i get paid to chat
with people and get naked HHAHA... BOMB right ? I KNOW.. like i
figure iim horny anyways why not get paid to chat with people and play
with myself heheh...anyways i hope u dont look down on that and NO
THATS NOT WHY IM CONTACTING U RELAX URSELF lol... i actually need
help once i move and i remembered u live there so im reaching out....like i
said before this computer is a complete piece of CRAP and freezes NON
STOP.. ive tried ot send this email to u maybe 3 times already and im
hopign this time i can hit SEND before i run into trouble lol..

ANYWAYS.. heres the deal....every month natalie (my boss) gives each
of us 3 VIP codes to give out to whoever we want.. so with this code u
can lgoin to watch me at work for free and dont have to pay like
everyone else... the only way i can give u one of the codes (so we can
chat) is if you absolutey DO NOT give it out to anyone else and u ONLY
USE IT FOR URSELF... i only get 3 a month and she gets pissed if more
than 3 people use them so DONT SHARE IT MISTER... i figured u cud
always email me back instead but my email account doesnt even let me
login half the time.. so the bets palce ot chat me is my chat room...

if theres anyone else logged in when u sign in ill boot them out.. but
remember DONT SHARE THIS PASSWORD PLEASE BABE IM BEGGING U..
I TRUST U... im online most of the day now to try and save money for my move..
also since im in such a huge debt already form my student loan I
really thingk we need to chat before i get there and make sure u evern
remember me hahha.. anyways ive rambled on and on now and ur probably
soooo annnoyed with me so ill stop now.. im gonna go start work.. i
really hope u come chat me. it wud make my day and releive a lot of my
stress about the move... REALLY i mean that....anyways once i see u in
insdie ill shoot u myc ell number and u can gimme yours.. if u dont

wanna come chat i understand but its really the only palce to find me
now days.. if u email me abck ill probably get it once i get there
after my internet is setup so about 2-3 weeks fomr now.. but im hopign
to see u in my chat room.. rmemeber its 100% free with this code im
gonna give u.. just DONT GIVE IT OUT OR ILL KICK U IN THE BALLS
INSTEAD OF LICK U IN THE BALLS WHEN IS EE U hahahahha...k babe im out
for now... chat ya soon.. kisses xoxo Adriana

FREE VIP BYPASS LINK ------>> http://blah blah blah blah

[Jacks]

^^ Didn't read the whole thing but I think she really likes you. Stop leading the poor "horny gurl" on.

[troutman]

Yeah man , must be you are carious in me! Your note made me carious about you, and I think I should have a dinner with you at restaurant, to see what you are in life and speak with you to get know what kind of guy you are. I will marry wise man and spend my life with him in peace and harmony. I will be carried as his irresistible and be his single intelligent girlfriend . Are you sure you can handle it? I desire to take care of my boyfriend as the unique soul mate in whole world.

My love is real and honest ! I’ll never leave my boyfriend down and I will go through any troubles with him. Well let’s get together and find out much more about each other.

Invite me and you will enjoy your best date in your life!

[troutman]

I still remember you from that vicious night we spent together.

Do you remember how hot and thrilling it was?

I still keep videos in my profile where I am wearing that little black dress.

It was the best night ever - unique, passionate and trouble-free.

Come on, enjoy my profile, and you will refresh in your mind every detail. Contact me as soon as possible!

[troutman]

Hey, darling.

My name is Audrey Schultz. I am working as a manager in a big LLC. And this moment I am looking for smart, not dumb guy to talk about different things with probable continuation.

I was fond of your pictures and your private info. And that is why I decided to write you. I am always wanna #### but I don’t #### with everybody but only with fellows who could amaze me. So, you could invite me to go to cafe if you liked my photo shots. I wait a mail from you, sweetheart?

[gargamel]

Originally Posted by troutman

So, you could invite me to go to cafe if you liked my photo shots.

How are you going to post this without including her photo shots?

[OffsideSpecialist]

Hello, I thought we talked well and afterward
I sent you a couple of undressed pics
I thought you would be back in touch with me. Did you not like them?
Anyway darling it is my profile send me your username and me and you can hook up.
I can be much much wanton than you've seen on my pictures, they were not as hardcore as I have lol.
Wanna see you here shortly