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Originally Posted by flamesfan1297
Hey guys, just a quick update to this thread. She did get on anti depressants that seem to work good. Some of the financial stress she was under has been relieved a bit and school has gotten a bit better. We did lots of the things suggested in this thread and she has seemed to have gotten a lot better, which I'm grateful for.
Unfortunately on Saturday she told me we need to take a break from having a relationship, I didn't see this coming at all and she didn't really give an explanation other than she still loved me and hopes we can get back together. So I'm giving her space and will reach out to her in time.
No matter what happens with us I wish her the best and hope she continues to recover, I mainly came to post and say thanks again for all the advice from everyone here. I learned a lot
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Sorry to hear about the bitter sweet update. Definitely take time for yourself and recharge. Keep your head high man. The relationship part is shocking and it sucks, but consider it as a lesser stumble to the strides your GF has been making.
I think something that some people get stuck on at times is that when they want progression or improvement, that they think the end goal has to be improved in all facets of everything. IMO, that's not necessarily true. It all simply can distill down to, "Is life better over all with or without?"
It's absolutely plausible that a ton of things will change good/bad and ultimately it might be more constructive to focus on the overall rather than individual things. Some of the conversations might be tricky and certain comments could accidentally be misconstrued to becoming, "Life seems better without me if there are all these improvements after taking a break. Better that I suffer alone rather than two of us suffer." If the conversation comes up, perhaps don't focus on individual things, but the overall big picture.
A parallel perhaps is like skiing. Why do so many people deal with large expenses, frigid temperatures and risk getting hurt? Because to them, life with skiing is so much better than life without it.
I realized that one of the things I ran into a few years ago that was strangely helpful was depression comix. I don't think It was mentioned earlier. Apparently the artist has depression and illustrates in a way that is kinda helpful in offering a glimpse into what it's like to have depression, which is quite difficult to explain. I've heard it is helpful in helping some with depression express what it's like and some without depression have commented it was helpful in better understanding others with depression. I wonder if it will be something that is helpful and insightful for you as well.
https://www.depressioncomix.com/posts/001/
I wish you the best.