The Ongoing "Am I the %^&hole?" Thread

[ResAlien]

Just walk over, hand it to them and say “sorry it came to me and I opened it out of habit before realizing it was addressed to you” and then go home. Done and done.

[Ashasx]

please check the name and address before opening mail

[WhiteTiger]

Originally Posted by Calgary14

Bump.

Not quite AITA but a moral dilemma. Neighbor's package arrived at my doorstep. I get a package from Amazon almost daily so didn't think much of it and opened it without looking who it's addressed to. It's a vibrator. The next day, another package arrives. Essential oils. In that house there is a couple with 2 girls. I don't know any of their names so can't tell who it's for but both are addressed to the same person. I guess she's doing some early Christmas shopping for herself.

Should I: knock on their door and explain and give it to them, or just leave it on their doorstep (it's opened so they'd know someone saw it) without knocking, or keep it? if I give it to them it's guaranteed to be embarrassing for at least one of them.

But keeping it doesn't seem 100% right - it's not mine and it's not addressed to me. Or send it back to Amazon? That sounds like a pain.

Or - a friend suggested - bundle it all in a gift bag with a bottle of wine and leave it on their doorstep. The wine would be fitting in this case but again would be embarrassing for someone.

Pack it back up, reseal it, make sure that the person's name/shipping label is clearly readable, add a note (on the outside) that it ended up at "my house" by accident (you don't need to specify which house is yours, you are doing this as an explanation with why it's been opened) and that you opened it before you realized it wasn't yours, then put it by their door. Don't need to ring their doorbell or anything, just put it down and go.

The person who it belongs to will get it, they will likely be slightly embarrassed but get over it pretty quickly since they don't need to be awkward around you since they won't know it's you.

You, having learned your lesson, should check who mail is addressed to before opening it going forward.

[Strange Brew]

Man the longer you keep the vibrator the weirder you look. Repair the packaging as much as you can and bring it over to them ASAP.

Now I'm also wondering if this legit. Two days in a row? What kind of packaging does a vibrator come in and didn't you realize something was unusual as you were opening it?

Feels more like a set up for an adult movie. Wrapping it up and bringing it over as a gift with a bottle of wine? Seriously?

[CaptainCrunch]

Yeah dropping off a gift basket or bottle of wine because you opened up a package by mistake that contained sex toys might be seen as a bit creepy . I agree with the reseal, a note of apology and leave it at the door in a safe spot.



Its likely that your neighbour might know by now that its been delivered

[Sliver]

Is it like a standard-issue vibrator, or something wild and crazy?

[Boblobla]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Is it like a standard-issue vibrator, or something wild and crazy?

Asking the real question.

[Wormius]

Does Amazon still send a picture to the purchaser of the package when it’s dropped off? It would be pretty awkward if you kept it or did anything other than just give it to the intended recipient.

[devo22]

no need to overthink this. Re-seal the package as well as possible, put it on their doorstep and be done with it.

[PepsiFree]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Yeah dropping off a gift basket or bottle of wine because you opened up a package by mistake that contained sex toys might be seen as a bit creepy . I agree with the reseal, a note of apology and leave it at the door in a safe spot.



Its likely that your neighbour might know by now that its been delivered

A bit creepy? The only way it could be creepier is if he left a note with it that said "for your special night."

Dude's friend is a sex pest.

[The Yen Man]

I've had a couple of times where I opened a package before realizing it's for my neighbour. I just re-sealed it, and left a note apologizing for opening it without realizing it wasn't mine.

As one poster suggested, just re-seal, add the note as anonymous, and you're done. Saves you and your neighbour any embarrassment since they wouldn't know which neighbour it got delivered to.

[Fuzz]

This feels like part one of a Playboy letter.

[mrkajz44]

Originally Posted by Fuzz

This feels like part one of a Playboy letter.

Dear Penthouse,

You'll never believe what happened to me the other day. I know it sounds too good to be true, but here's how my life changed forever....

[Knut]

Put it on a different neighbors step. Someone you do not like.

[RichieRich]

Haven’t had such a good laugh in a while. Thanks CP.

Next thing that neighbor will post into the “Things that make me Happy” thread about getting a bottle of fine wine, lube, good vibes, and the finest Barry White album ever.

[Cecil Terwilliger]

Sorry, what’s the embarrassing part of essential oils? Don’t tons of naturopathic type people use these in a sort of humidifier type machine?

Or are they specifically labelled sex oils or something? In which case, I’ve been wildly misled about the purpose and use of peppermint and eucalyptus.

Edit: oh ####, I completely missed the vibrator part. Hahahahaha. Nm.

[Misterpants]

I like that after opening a vibrator, it didn't twig his brain to start looking at the labels of the other packages (essential oils).

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by Calgary14

Bump.

Not quite AITA but a moral dilemma. Neighbor's package arrived at my doorstep. I get a package from Amazon almost daily so didn't think much of it and opened it without looking who it's addressed to. It's a vibrator. The next day, another package arrives. Essential oils. In that house there is a couple with 2 girls. I don't know any of their names so can't tell who it's for but both are addressed to the same person. I guess she's doing some early Christmas shopping for herself.

Should I: knock on their door and explain and give it to them, or just leave it on their doorstep (it's opened so they'd know someone saw it) without knocking, or keep it? if I give it to them it's guaranteed to be embarrassing for at least one of them.

But keeping it doesn't seem 100% right - it's not mine and it's not addressed to me. Or send it back to Amazon? That sounds like a pain.

Or - a friend suggested - bundle it all in a gift bag with a bottle of wine and leave it on their doorstep. The wine would be fitting in this case but again would be embarrassing for someone.

[Shazam]

Originally Posted by Textcritic

This is closely related to a question I have been asking of myself in recent weeks...

Have we become "that family" in our neighbourhood?

We have lived here for fifteen years. New neighbours have moved in on either side of me in the past six months. The neighbours to my right are easy-going and friendly; the neighbours to my left do nothing but complain about their house, the neighbourhood, and how awful it is to live here.

I have two boys in high school, and another who just turned 21—he is still at home, but working. About six weeks ago one of my boys's friends came to our house because he was fighting with his parents. We have attempted to build a relationship with these people for the last year, but have found it extremely difficult because of how paranoid they are of everything, and because they are convinced that my kid is an instigator of trouble. Anyhow, they insisted that their 15-year-old son come home. He did not want to go. They were exasperated at us for not sending him away, but in our minds we thought he was most likely better off in our house than he would be wandering around the streets. They threatened to call the police, and then insisted they were coming over to get him. The father stormed up to my door and demanded his kid come home. My wife told him not to enter the house. They screamed and complained for 25 minutes, and again threatened to call the police. At this point I went ahead and called 9-1-1. Three squad cars showed up with lights and sirens to diffuse the situation, and everyone on my block noticed. It was embarrassing.

So, fast-forward to two-weeks ago. My kids were playing basketball on the driveway @ around 8:30 pm. The ball went into the up-tight neighbours's yard. My 16-year-old son climbed the fence to retrieve the ball; the neighbour saw him, lost her mind, and started screaming at him about trespassing. He says he apologised and went back to playing ball with his brother. Shortly afterwards the ball again bounced onto their driveway, and before my kid could retrieve it the neighbours ran out, grabbed the ball and went back into the house. When my kids tried to get their ball back, the neighbours would not return it. My wife and I came out to try and settle things, and the neighbours and my kids yelled back-and-forth at one another for ten minutes or so. At one point, the woman complained about the police incident from previous weeks, and then it hit me...

Have I become that neighbour? I have always thought I was a good neighbour. I try to look after my property, keep to myself, and do whatever I can to keep the peace. But have I now become the guy whose kids are trouble, and who gets visits from squad cars? How did this happen?

Last week I put a fence up between our driveways.

I would've told your family eons ago that you should all feel free to go in my backyard to pick up stray toys.

I know my neighbours never gave a crap if my girls went over and picked up their balls or frisbees.

[jroc]

I was walking the dog yesterday when I had a 'am I the a-hole?' thought.

People that put a sign on their front lawn requesting that your dog doesn't do his business there... Really?!?! As long as the dog owner picks it up, I think any front lawn would be free rein.

Thoughts?

(for the record, my dog did not have to 'go' at this particular moment)