UPD 3: Dan O'Toole confirms daughter found

[Erick Estrada]

So he hasn't seen his newborn child? He probably should be talking to a lawyer or the police if he's being refused access to his child rather than airing his dirty laundry on social media. Doesn't change my opinion of Dan as this doesn't paint him as a bad guy as I can understand his frustrations here but there are probably more effective ways to gain access to your child. I hope that he and his ex can work things out as situations like this are not good for the children.

[dammage79]

Originally Posted by Erick Estrada

So he hasn't seen his newborn child? He probably should be talking to a lawyer or the police if he's being refused access to his child rather than airing his dirty laundry on social media. Doesn't change my opinion of Dan as this doesn't paint him as a bad guy as I can understand his frustrations here but there are probably more effective ways to gain access to your child. I hope that he and his ex can work things out as situations like this are not good for the children.

I read Otooles quote as he still has yet to see his baby since she went missing from him. Not since birth since there are clearly pictures with him and his daughter on IG.

[dino7c]

Originally Posted by PepsiFree

I assume you're about to show us your Ph.D. in Psychiatry since you've diagnosed him as mentally unwell and requiring treatment.

What's your official diagnosis?

I think most of us non-medical professionals know that we don't know, so aren't bothered to make statements about what is "obvious" and would prefer not to assume anything, outside of seeing a man worried about his daughter. But I'm curious about your expert opinion on his mental health.

It doesn't take an expert to realize posting on twitter

"My child is missing but alive (I think)" without filling a proper police report

is not normal behavior

If the child is not with whom they are supposed to be the police are required by law to apprehend. The police confirmed the child was with the mother and left it at that.

Multiple departments with jurisdiction have said no missing person was reported and Dan was arguing with the police on twitter.


Seems like a custody battle and those HEAVILY favor the mother which likely explains a lot of what is going on here.

I have often said if the judge saw "Parent A" Vs. "Parent B" without names many of these cases would turn out much different.

[Scroopy Noopers]

His baby was featured on their podcast the other day. Post on page one. He had the baby at some point.

[bluejays]

Originally Posted by Erick Estrada

So he hasn't seen his newborn child? He probably should be talking to a lawyer or the police if he's being refused access to his child rather than airing his dirty laundry on social media. Doesn't change my opinion of Dan as this doesn't paint him as a bad guy as I can understand his frustrations here but there are probably more effective ways to gain access to your child. I hope that he and his ex can work things out as situations like this are not good for the children.

I fully agree. Could've been in a state of panic he went to social media (something I'll never understand), but these decisions aren't always rational unless someone is in that situation. What annoyed me about his post was the cryptic aspect, then the snarky retort to the reporter who dug into it. If you're going to use social media, know that you'll get responses you may not like. In this case the reporter dug into it to help him or inform the public because Dan wasn't clear about his situation, then Dan retorted just as cryptically that it wasn't a Durham region matter. Like, WTF man. He's trying to help or fill in blanks to the same public you're using. At least give some context - it's not a guessing game if you're using the public for your benefit. Anyway, I'm not a fan of using social media for airing anything - good, bad or ugly. A rational person should've gone to the police.

[PepsiFree]

Originally Posted by dino7c

It doesn't take an expert to realize posting on twitter

"My child is missing but alive (I think)" without filling a proper police report

is not normal behavior

If the child is not with whom they are supposed to be the police are required by law to apprehend. The police confirmed the child was with the mother and left it at that.

Multiple departments with jurisdiction have said no missing person was reported and Dan was arguing with the police on twitter.

You actually do need to be an expert to diagnose that a mental health issue is at play, as "normal" is a pretty wide range, and "abnormal" can have a variety of causes not mental health related.

You also don't know he didn't file a police report, nor do you know that their custody agreement is court-ordered, nor does the statement "the child is safe with the mother" tell us anything about any conclusions we can make, outside of the statement itself.

Please show any evidence of "multiple departments with jurisdiction" saying no missing person was reported, or evidence that Dan was arguing with the police on twitter. I didn't see any of that and not a single article (even those which seem to have captured everything) mention either of those things or recorded those interactions. So I'm happy to be wrong, as fruitless as it is to discuss this, but you're going to have to back that up with something.

[dino7c]

Durham Regional Police and the Toronto Police Department have both reported no missing persons case filed. Do a 2 second search.

Durham Regional Police tweeted about the case last night (since deleted) and was told by Dan it was not a Druham police matter and that he should have been informed first before they went to twitter.

He also berated an reporter with:

First off, this is not a Durham police matter. Secondly, should the police maybe call me first once my child has been found?

All these tweets are documented but deleted for good reason

If a legitimate missing child is reported an amber alert would be issued

I'm gonna go back to fighting about Jay Boumeester

[PepsiFree]

Originally Posted by dino7c

If a legitimate missing child is reported an amber alert would be issued

Hadn't seen TPD's statement. Thanks. Happy to admit I'm wrong about it not being multiple, and while I'm not sure "inform me before going to twitter" is 'arguing with police' I see what you mean.

That said, that's not how Amber Alerts work. These are the criteria in Ontario:

1. Law enforcementagency believes a child under the age of 18 has been abducted;

2. Law enforcement agency believes the child is in danger;

3. There is descriptive information about one or more of the following:
• child
• abductor
• vehicle

4. To believe an immediate broadcast alert will help in locating the child.

So, again, you're making concrete assumptions based on limited information and limited understanding of what is obviously a complex situation. Which is not great.

[dino7c]

Oh god, I said legitimate missing child report.

All those conditions would have be met if his tweets were an accurate account of what was going on.

[PepsiFree]

Originally Posted by dino7c

Oh god, I said legitimate missing child report.

All those conditions would have be met if his tweets were an accurate account of what was going on.

A legitimate missing child report can exist without an Amber Alert, not sure what you mean. If there was an Amber Alert for every legitimate missing child report, you'd be getting them a lot more often.

There are plenty of elements in his tweet open to interpretation, vaguely pointing to danger or abduction, but nothing that says "this is what happened." It wouldn't matter regardless, it's what the police believe the situation is when talking to the parent, which would obviously have more details than a cryptic tweet.

I don't think anyone has suggested that Dan's tweets were a picture perfect, detailed, and clear account of what was happening. That's why it's dumb to jump to conclusions.

[CliffFletcher]

99/100 times a child is ‘missing’ it’s a custody dispute between parents. This looks like just another example of something that happens every day. Only unusual thing is it played out on social media.

[dino7c]

Originally Posted by PepsiFree

A legitimate missing child report can exist without an Amber Alert, not sure what you mean. If there was an Amber Alert for every legitimate missing child report, you'd be getting them a lot more often.

There are plenty of elements in his tweet open to interpretation, vaguely pointing to danger or abduction, but nothing that says "this is what happened." It wouldn't matter regardless, it's what the police believe the situation is when talking to the parent, which would obviously have more details than a cryptic tweet.

I don't think anyone has suggested that Dan's tweets were a picture perfect, detailed, and clear account of what was happening. That's why it's dumb to jump to conclusions.

Please, he said "she is alive (we think)"

He was certainly suggesting she was in a life threatening situation

[N-E-B]

Glad to see the child is safe. Hope everything works out for Dan. This can’t be easy for him. I don’t know what’s going on but if you’re in a position where you don’t know where your child is and you can’t figure it out that will take its toll on you.

[PepsiFree]

Originally Posted by dino7c

Please, he said "she is alive (we think)"

He was certainly suggesting she was in a life threatening situation

I think he was suggesting he had no idea and was worried, but who knows.

Why are you so certain on every intention, every diagnosis, and every background deal, based on a few tweets and an obvious lack of understanding of even general situations like this?

In a situation where there’s so little we actually know, and no reason to make judgements, it really is ok just accept not knowing and not guess. What do you gain?

[dino7c]

https://nypost.com/2020/07/04/tsn-sp...police-source/

“The information provided to us was false, there was no such abduction,” a Durham Regional Police police contact said Saturday, referring to the initial O’Toole post.
Just reporting the latest police statement, no opinion

[Erick Estrada]

Wow. Getting some US media attention. Strange story keeps getting stranger.

[Strange Brew]

Attention from the gossip pages of the NY Post.

[dino7c]

It has been posted all over...the source of the news is most important

[Jordan!]

Men can also have post partum episodes or full blown depression.

I have a 9 month old, it can be a shock and overwhelm anyone. Hope Dan is ok and pulls through it.

I had moments for sure, but thankfully me wife and I had open discussions about how we felt throughout. Not everyone is that fortunate.

[Monahammer]

I think part of what made this story so... volatile... was the continued societal belief we have that people on tv are infallible to an extent.

People have an image in their mind of broadcasters/ media personalities/ sports anchors. People don't like to have their mental depictions of things distorted or changed- it unsettles them.
So to see someone very public go through something that you may see on your own social media between your distant cousin and their ex- wife and largely ignore- creates this weird cognitive dissonance where we then lash out to try and find reasons that our expectations don't match reality.

The answer is that media people arent infallible- they are just like us and go through periods of distorted judgement. This is a personal matter that (me making an assumption here) Mr. O'Toole probably regrets posting in retrospect. Constantly dredging it up does nothing to help him: 1. first deal appropriately with the situation which was clearly causing him mental anguish, and 2: move on from the media storm created by this misjudgment.

I would invite everyone to take a positive page here and cease thinking about this- this is something for Dan and the mother of the child to work out and we shouldn't be party to that in any way.