08-13-2009, 12:05 PM
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#1
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Missed the bus
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FML? Texts from last night? ...and now Ruminations!!
Another funny time waster... here are a few good'ers:
Link
Quote:
· I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
· The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
· A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
· Was learning cursive really necessary?
· Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say
· I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger
· Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
· How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
· I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
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The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to alltherage For This Useful Post:
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08-13-2009, 12:21 PM
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#2
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First Line Centre
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That car thing is so true, I LOVE when that happens.
I normally just ask them to repeat themselves a maximum of 3 times, then I do the nod. It happens a few times a week.
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08-13-2009, 12:33 PM
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#3
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#1 Goaltender
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Calgary...Alberta, Canada
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Just yesterday I was trying to remember the last time I regularly used cursive.
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08-13-2009, 12:47 PM
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#4
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Missed the bus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by starseed
That car thing is so true, I LOVE when that happens.
I normally just ask them to repeat themselves a maximum of 3 times, then I do the nod. It happens a few times a week.
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See, I'm the a-hole who after asking the second time will, say something like "ok, i didn't hear you the first time, so saying it at exactly the same volume just now didn't help. Adjust the volume or rephrase the f***in sentence."
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08-13-2009, 12:52 PM
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#5
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Franchise Player
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This one is so true:
Quote:
Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
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The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Bob For This Useful Post:
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08-13-2009, 12:55 PM
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#6
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In my office, at the Ministry of Awesome!
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These were my two favorites:
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
Eating dessert, skipping class, and having sex all have one thing in common. Once the idea crosses your mind it's almost impossible not to do it, and if someone else says it out loud, it's 100% going to happen.
__________________
THE SHANTZ WILL RISE AGAIN.
<-----Check the Badge bitches. You want some Awesome, you come to me!
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The Following User Says Thank You to Bring_Back_Shantz For This Useful Post:
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08-13-2009, 01:05 PM
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#7
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Vancouver
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They say celebrities die in 3's. Leave it to Billy Mays to throw in an extra one COMPLETELY FREE.
bahaha
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The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to worth For This Useful Post:
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08-13-2009, 01:19 PM
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#8
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#1 Goaltender
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Calgary
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"Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or faq's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft."
I like this one.
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The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Mccree For This Useful Post:
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08-13-2009, 01:33 PM
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#9
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Franchise Player
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Calgary
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"If you show up to a sporting event wearing the opposing team’s jersey, I dislike you but respect you. If you show up wearing a random third-party jersey, the jersey of the home team’s rival that’s not actually playing that day, or the jersey of the home city’s rival in a completely different sport, you might as well get the word '######' stitched on the back."
"On a family vacation one summer, we crossed Wyoming and noted several historical points of interest that we knew of because of "Oregon Trail" We stopped at the famous South Pass to look at the wagon tracks still visible in the dirt. looking out over the landscape, my sister nodded and said grimly, 'This is where my oxen always die.'"
"I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to."
Last edited by MarchHare; 08-13-2009 at 01:36 PM.
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The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MarchHare For This Useful Post:
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08-13-2009, 01:34 PM
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#10
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Calgary
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Quote:
There is a great need for sarcasm font.
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Clearly he hasn't been on CP.
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I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
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Wait, that's not how people do things?
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You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
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This is too true.
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08-13-2009, 01:46 PM
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#11
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ALL ABOARD!
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Quote:
I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
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I love this too.
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08-13-2009, 02:00 PM
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#12
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Powerplay Quarterback
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Calgary
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pagal4321
Clearly he hasn't been on CP.
Quote:
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
This is too true.
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Aaaannnddd... I think I just hit that point. Crap.
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08-13-2009, 02:11 PM
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#13
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One of the Nine
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pagal
I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
Wait, that's not how people do things?
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Hell no. And risk a shot of freezing cold water anywhere on my body?
The correct order of operations is this:
Turn on shower
Drop a spike
Shower
Shave
15 minutes tops.
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The Following User Says Thank You to 4X4 For This Useful Post:
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08-13-2009, 02:19 PM
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#14
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Missed the bus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pagal4321
"You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day. "
This is too true.
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For me, this has been 9:00am every day for the past 1.5 months. I start at 9:00am.
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The Following User Says Thank You to alltherage For This Useful Post:
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08-13-2009, 02:25 PM
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#15
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Calgary
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pagal4321
Quote:
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
This is too true.
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For me, it's called "7 AM"...
EDIT: ATR beat me to it. Well, at least I am motivated enough to show up for work earlier...
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08-13-2009, 02:28 PM
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#16
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First Line Centre
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 4X4
Hell no. And risk a shot of freezing cold water anywhere on my body?
The correct order of operations is this:
Turn on shower
Drop a spike
Shower
Shave
15 minutes tops.
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That is exactly my routine, and time.
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08-13-2009, 02:32 PM
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#17
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First Line Centre
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Quote:
I fear the day Facebook decides to inform users of who has viewed their profile...and how many times.
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This one made me laugh. And then become worried.
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08-13-2009, 02:33 PM
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#18
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Not the one...
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thingsididlastnight.com
__________________
There's always two sides to an argument, and it's always a tie.
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08-13-2009, 02:34 PM
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#19
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#1 Goaltender
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Quote:
Originally Posted by starseed
That is exactly my routine, and time.
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I save my 'spike' for work. Better getting paid to do that sort of thing. I have some mean games of texas hold em' on the BB as well
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08-13-2009, 02:40 PM
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#20
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Redundant Minister of Redundancy
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Montreal
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Quote:
What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
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Nice.
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