So I am getting married - wedding advice, expertise, past experiences needed.

[brocoli]

Originally Posted by OutOfTheCube

I'm knee deep in planning my wedding for October 12, 2013. A Saturday on a long weekend next year. We don't have huge families or buttloads of friends so it's fairly small and we're doing our best to keep it on a modest budget.

Definitely get booking now... the first place I called was already booked on pretty much every Saturday. We then ended up going for the U of C Downtown Campus, which has a very nice event space. You can also rent it for just the amount of people you need, as it breaks down into three sections, is a very reasonable prices, and offers discounts for alumni (not sure if you/your fiance are, but I am, so that was nice). I can't recommend it yet, since our reception hasn't taken place, but they have been very easy to deal with so far. The guy there was very pleased to show us around, and you might be able to get a Saturday next year since I did (only about two weeks ago).

Good luck! It's a lot of work and a lot of money.

We are planning on having our wedding the same day. For us it came down to most of my family having to travel at least 6 hours, so a long weekend will give me more so the time to see my family that I don't get to see that often. Our other thought was to choose Thanksgiving weekend because it is a family oriented holiday and it's what we want our wedding to be. It's about us, but it wouldn't be the same without our family members there.

Most importantly though is do what you want. I've learned that while planning our wedding is that you can't cater to everyone, so let people cater to you. They will come if they can/want to, and they won't if they don't. The obligation is that you are making a comitment to each other and the people that truely have an interest in your life will be there circumstances provided.

As others have said before...GOOD LUCK!

[Northendzone]

perhaps someone already suggested this, but bring your own coffeee maker and coffee, it could save you money.

[rd_aaron]

Originally Posted by topfiverecords

Never said anything about not inviting them. We knew from our save the date that about 15 people weren't going to come. Still sent them invitations. It's just helpful information to have many months ahead when trying to budget based on numbers.

Ya, sorry. I read mykalberta's question wrong. We decided not to do save the dates, but thinking about it, maybe we should've to get a better idea of which relatives were going to make it or not.

[GP_Matt]

I haven't seen it mentioned yet, but the non-wedding version of things is often half the price or less. I have heard of people hiring Herald photographers for a fraction of the price.

As well, for things like centre pieces, invitations and gift bags it seems like the wedding ones have an extra 0 on the price tag.

[Cowboy89]

Originally Posted by GP_Matt

I haven't seen it mentioned yet, but the non-wedding version of things is often half the price or less. I have heard of people hiring Herald photographers for a fraction of the price.

As well, for things like centre pieces, invitations and gift bags it seems like the wedding ones have an extra 0 on the price tag.

I have heard of people booking reception halls for 'family reunions' when in actuality it is for a wedding in order to only pay half the 'wedding' price.

[BigBrodieFan]

Originally Posted by mykalberta

All I could really find is the following thread

http://forum.calgarypuck.com/showthr...hlight=wedding

So I popped the question this week and the answer while never really in doubt was of course yes.

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!

I am just looking for some advice who have been through this recently. I was a little slow in the proposal department as it appears as all Saturdays for 2013 are already booked and alot for 2014 are also booked.

We will be having the wedding in Canmore. We have a few dates we have been able to soft book at a few locations for end of August/early September that we will firm up by end of next week. Our guest list right now is between 100-120 with 100 ideal

I am just looking to get some opinons on the following:

1 - How do you feel about a Friday wedding? From our perspective since most people will be driving 3+ hours anyway then they can take a Friday off and then enjoy the Saturday/Sunday in the mountains. Friday weddings are cheaper- because you don't do a dinner, just appetizers and drinks, however if people are driving 3 plus hours, it's not ideal. But, it's YOUR day, so if you want to do Friday, do it. You may not have as many guests as you thought though, but people will get over it if you have an open bar.

2 - How do you feel about a long weekend wedding? The only Saturday date available at our top 3 locations is durring a long weekend. On the face of it I am 100% against long weekend weddings as I feel that I dont want to intrude on someones freebee vacation day.
There is a reason those Saturdays aren't booked. You nailed it.

Guest list questions:

For myself I have a relatively small family by most respects but the numbers when you count aunts, uncles, cousins, their kids, etc etc etc start to add up quick and I am having a difficult time trying to explain to my parents who I respect and realize there is a protocol to these things vis a vi relatives.

3 - When it comes to first cousins, how do you weed them down to the number you want. Rule of thumb- invite them all or don't invite any.

4 - If a first cousin got married and you werent invited because either A it was rushed due to an "unexpected bun in the oven" or B they are cheap and introverted and only had a justice of the peace marry them with their parents what is your obligation to invite them if you are inviting their siblings who invited you to the wedding? You have no obligation to invite anyone. It's YOUR wedding. But in this case, none.

5 - I have about 16 guests that I am not sure will come or not and I would rather not wait until 2 months before I know if they will come or not, are "save-the-date" letters acceptable forms of intial weeding out? 'Save the Date Letters' should be sent to ALL guests invited, whether they are coming or not. Excluding some people and including others will cause you a great deal of misery, trust me. You don't want Grandma saying 'Did you get Johnny's Save the Date Letter?' and Aunt Patty saying 'Why the hell didn't he send ME one?' Send them to everyone, always.

6 - What would you say are the top 10 highest costs for a wedding?

We are meeting 3 different places about venues/catering this weekend and middle of next week. In some semblance of order: 1) Rings 2) Her dress, hair, bridesmaids dresses, makeup, personal assistant for the day, shoes 3) Photography 4) Flowers, Food, Booze 5) Venue, including the rental of the dishes, glasses, cutlery, wait staff, tip, 6) DJ or band, 7) Invitations, Save the Dates, postage 8) The cake 9) Gifts for guests, 8) Transportation (Limos, whatever), 9 Tux rental/Shoe rental 10) Everything you forget to do and you have to do last minute. And there will be a lot.

7 - What are some of the questions you would ask the reception location/caterer? How much is the chicken? Seriously, make sure they will provide centre pieces for the tables, cutlery, proper dishes- ask them how many staff they will have, ask them what your obligation will be for tip, see if the wait staff will pour wine/open wine

I am sure as time goes on I will be asking more questions but for now, this is enough.

Thanks.

And yes, I am sure I want to get married, no I dont think its a horrible mistake, I realize the cheapest wedding is the one you never have blah blah blah.

Go get her, Tiger. Good luck!!

[Rudee]

The Divorce will be the costliest expense. Potentially half your wages, half your house, legal fees, All the associated stress. I kid.. I kid.

[surferguy]

Here goes my advice:

Stay away from late summer weddings - early summer for the win. Our wedding was very craft intensive which took a lot of our time. I would have hated to be completing crafts in the middle of summer. All that stuff can happen during the winter when it is ####ty outside.

Pintrest has really cool ideas.

We got married on Vancouver Island on a regular weekend. Our wedding was about our guests - I do not like the statement of "its your day, it is about you" It is true in some manner but the biggest thing on the wedding day are the people that will be there. Respect them and do everything in your power to make sure they have fun.

Best man and Maid of Honor only.

Suits - no tuxedos - they are tacky.

We were married on a saturday so on the friday night we held a mixer for everybody that was actually a funny money casino (we built all the games) people could then drop their money (with their name on the back) into draws for wedding weekend related things like:

- first table to eat at the reception
- a pro photo with the bride a groom
- a dance with the bride
- instant song request
- front row seats to the ceremony
- two seats at the head table
- a rum with the groom and his father
etc

Make your own decorations - I am a crafty type so buying most things was out of the question.. we used rocks moss and driftwood as our table center pieces. all collected locally and left locally.

Buying anything from Micheals is a sin - if you have to do it - make sure you have a internet coupon for 40% off.

We went ipod for a DJ

we built a photo booth and had that set up for the night with a heap of props from our Halloween tickle trunk. We left it set up all night so our guests could sneak away to have a photoshoot.

again our theme was to make sure our guests have fun. We hit that out of the park and got married too.

We also made our own video invitations for our guests. It took time but everybody got their own invitation via youtube - personalized. Big hit with everyone - no cash spent.

Be frugal as the day will be stupid expensive -

most weddings are the same as the next - try to break the mould and you and your guests will have a great time

Lastly - find the problem amily member and take them aside and tell them that you will absolutely put up with zero politics. The decisions you make are made for a reason, i found that setting the ground rules right from the get go work well for us.

Congrats and have fun!

[To Be Quite Honest]

Congratulations! Canmore is a beautiful place to wed and the scenery will make for great memories!

If you have any questions on a videographer feel free to ask. I also know a few in that area that are pretty good and I also know a couple of hacks that you should avoid!

[Rerun]

Originally Posted by normtwofinger

A word of advice. Don't skimp on photography. We chose a budget photographer and while he was ok, it wasn't spectacular. You get what you pay for, so why not invest in memories of the event, rather than some food, cake or flowers that you will forget about in a year or two.

I agree. My sister-in-law did the photography. My wife bragged about what a great amateur photographer her sister was, so I said ok to the decision.

The pics were crap. There is no do-over.

[Northendzone]

Wow, I wish I had an invite to surferguys wedding.

[Josh]

Here's my advice from a married guy, Welcome to never being right ever again.

[Yeah_Baby]

Originally Posted by calgaryrocks

first off, good luck, planning a wedding can be a nightmare, and even with a wedding planner, it is up to you to figure out stuff like the date and guest list. the guest was the most difficult thing. we cut from 215ish to 150 after knowing 10 people weren't coming (knowing thier schedules etc as we discussed our wedding date). ended up around 140.
as per your questions
How do you feel about a Friday wedding? Not ideal, some people can't take fridays off, that depends on your guests, with 100 it might not be as big a deal
problem is if you want to spend a last night out with the buddies or do a wedding rehearsal the night before (or both) then people involved may have to take more time off even though they are already in Calgary
unique though
How do you feel about a long weekend wedding?
They suck. we thought about doing a long weekend, and it didn't work out. ended up going to a friends wedding that weekend, and it was beautiful, we could have been camping that weekend, so we were annoyed. its not about your guests, but consider them. also your anniversary will be on the long weekend, which initially seems great, until you realize how expensive travelling anywhere is (and how busy) on long weekends when celebrating your anniversary.

Guest list questions:


When it comes to first cousins, how do you weed them down to the number you want.
your situation is a little more difficult. we basically invited all our cousins from one side of the family each, because we weren't really close with the other sides (my dads and her dads sides). I only invited aunts and uncles from my dads, and only have a few cousins, none of whom are married on my moms side.all or none is probably good, otherwise it shows you are holding a grudge. depends how close you are with the ones you want to invite. I had one my dads side I considered inviting, but wasn't sure if it was appropriate to invite just him, so it was easy to remove him (and his wife) from the list


If a first cousin got married and you werent invited because either A it was rushed due to an "unexpected bun in the oven" or B they are cheap and introverted and only had a justice of the peace marry them with their parents what is your obligation to invite them if you are inviting their siblings who invited you to the wedding? none. it's your wedding, if it is too small to invite them, then that's fine. your situation is tough, but if those cousins which you feel like you should invite are upset, then explain it to them. inviting them but not the others is passive aggressive. invite all or none, IMO

I have about 16 guests that I am not sure will come or not and I would rather not wait until 2 months before I know if they will come or not, are "save-the-date" letters acceptable forms of intial weeding out?
they are totally acceptable, but don't expect much response from those letters. try and be sneaky and find out other ways of finding out if they are going to be busy. the risk of 'save the date' cards is those people actually save the date. if you wait until 3 months before, there is a good chance a few already have plans. and they cost money to send it depends how much you want those 16 people to be there too!

What would you say are the top 10 highest costs for a wedding?

the reception will likely be the biggest cost. of course i don't know how much it costs to rent a venue in the mountains.
my costs: reception with nice dinner for 140 guests - around $5000 (no alchohol or dj/band/dance)
reception venue $300 (discounted from $800 initially)
officiant: $200
photographer $800 (on the low end but she was fantastic)
wedding venue $300
invitations $60
wedding dress (it may not be your cost yet, but its your future money) around $1000
tux rentals $75 per person
dresses per bridesmaid $200ish each
just to give you an idea

What are some of the questions you would ask the reception location/caterer?

how much per person?
what is their history? (is it solid, any risk of food poisoning)
do they give you anything back if some guests don't show up?
when do you have to give them final numbers for guests?
will they throw in any extras for you?
wheel chair access? if applicable
do they have a backup plan if things go wrong?

$75 dollars per person for Tuxes? Where did you guys go?

[Mr.Coffee]

DJ is actually really important, if you care that the wedding is decent. Make sure there's lots of upbeat music that is good to dance to. I once went to a wedding where it was a bunch of Coldplay and sad sounding music, it sucked balls.

Basically you want people having fun and partying, this means good DJ, lots of drinks available, I'd rock a loonie bar or toonie, but the only reason we did is because otherwise half the small town would have been in the joint and further if drinks are free people just leave them all over the place.

For the love of everything holy, keep your speeches and boring little picture slide show short. Best move for the slide show is to just have it set up on a screen to the side of the room on a continuous loop. Don't force people to watch your pics, it is mindnumbing. Speeches... seriously. Try to keep them brief. I've been at weddings where the speeches have lasted over 90 minutes... your guests yawning, eyerolling, sleeping... pissed off... the least you could do if you insist on a ridiculously long speech time is keep that bar open. But honestly, most people don't find your speeches as interesting as you.

Invite young people if you can. They party more and bring up the atmosphere.

If you're up for it, shoot for getting married in a small town / out of town. Means your guests have to travel a little bit, will stay the night and by extension get bombed.

Don't do a Stampede weekend, avoid Fridays. Avoid long weekends.

Photographers are scumbags, and will rip you off. In fact the majority of things with this new ballooning wedding business involves ripoffs.

Our wedding was awesome, we got lots of guests that partied hard and everyone had fun and was safe. You'll be happy when it's over, and don't let the pressure get to you. Good luck and have fun.

Oh ya and best advice for last! Don't plan to do the honeymoon later... you'll want and need it after the wedding, pull the trigger on the honeymoon!! Don't sacrifice the honeymoon so she can have a slighly nicer dress that she'll never use or even look at again beyond 1 day!! Your honeymoon on the other hand will give you a lifetime of memories. And if you plan it for a year later, it might not feel the same or worse, you might not even do it.

[Mazrim]

I have only a couple pieces of advice.

- If you can, have the wedding at a hotel. Most of our guests came to Kelowna for the wedding and stayed at the hotel, so it was easy for them to stay late and party hard. It worked out really well!

- As much as everyone says don't skimp on photography, I say just do your research and you'll be fine with a cheaper one. Ours was $900 without the reception, and they went out of their way to do an awesome job. We were very happy with the job we did, and I'd like to think it was because we did so much looking around before settling with them.

[kermitology]

I loved my wedding, it was a tonne of fun. I can't really comment on guest list size since that's a personal preference. I invited people that I wanted to have there or in some cases that my parents asked to have invited. We didn't bow to any other pressure to invite people. Inevitably you'll probably end up inviting someone you don't really want to, or wish you could swap with someone else. Get over it.

In terms of costs.. it's all expensive, but we made some great relationships with some of our vendors.

Photography: Abby+Dave. These two are my favourite. They were people we wanted to befriend after the wedding, and kind of have. They put us at ease just prior to the ceremony, have amazing turnaround time (3 weeks), are the sweetest couple you'll ever meet and talented as hell. Prices range from $3250 - 5000. And all packages include a photobooth, which is awesome. Let them know Daniel recommended you talk to them and they'll probably treat you extra well http://abbyplusdave.com

DJ: Hurricane Hollywood (so good, we were a bit worried at first, but he played all my requests and it was a blast) http://www.hurricanehollywood.com/

Officiant: We used Tamara Jones. She was good, I got kind of annoyed with her because she was talking to me when I was trying to watch my wife come towards me. I don't know what she said during the ceremony, but apparently it was nice to those who pay attention. http://www.weddingsbytamara.com/Wedd...missioner.html

Cake: Cakes With Attitude. VERY reasonably priced. We got a two tier cake made, the top being gluten free (for my wife) and 100 cupcakes for about $300. http://www.cakeswithattitude.net/

Day of Coordinator: Avant-Garde Events. You may or may not want one, my wife needed one to help with her stress on the day of and the couple we had were great for taking care of all the little things that we didn't want to deal with on our day. http://www.avant-gardeevents.com/index-1.html

Florist: Occasional Bloom. We really liked the flowers that Tracey made for us. http://www.occasionalbloom.com/

Lastly, my friend Ellinor did all of our jewelry. She's very reasonably priced for custom work, and her level of service is top notch (she's fixing my wedding band right now due to a unforeseen design flaw in my ring which is made of blackened silver and grey gold.) http://evstenroos.com

We did a lot of decoration ourselves, my wife's father cut and dried birch wood logs to use as candle holders for table decorations and I folded about 500 paper cranes (I have the patience to do so apparently).

If you want to buy any decorations, let me know and I can tell you more of what crap we have that don't want/need anymore.

[calgaryrocks]

Originally Posted by Yeah_Baby

$75 dollars per person for Tuxes? Where did you guys go?

the tux shop on 32 ave ne, just past barlow on the south side in a little strip mall, they were great. it was a sale though, I think normally they are around $90, still way better then some of the other prices in this thread

[GP_Matt]

Originally Posted by Mr.Coffee

Invite young people if you can. They party more and bring up the atmosphere.

I have seen this sentiment a few times. I found that the older people split into two groups pretty quick at my wedding. My Grandma and her table were the ones at one in the morning going around to all the abandoned tables and collecting the half full bottles of wine to keep the party going.

[ernie]

Originally Posted by mykalberta

1 - How do you feel about a Friday wedding?

Don't do it. Don't force your guests to take days away from work. When you send an invite most people feel an obligation to attend this important day and you sort of force them to use a vacation day.

2 - How do you feel about a long weekend wedding?

No problem. As a guest I prefer them as it allows you to actually visit with people for the weekend instead of rush in, attend wedding and rush home.

3 - When it comes to first cousins, how do you weed them down to the number you want.

Depends on finances, how close you are to them etc. With our families I had no problem inviting all first cousins as we all spent summers together as kids at grandparents houses and were close. If this is a huge concern for numbers it would be a case of how often do you see them and do you care if you do see them when you do.

4 - If a first cousin got married and you werent invited because either A it was rushed due to an "unexpected bun in the oven" or B they are cheap and introverted and only had a justice of the peace marry them with their parents what is your obligation to invite them if you are inviting their siblings who invited you to the wedding?

If I was close to that cousin I would have been invited. If I wasn't it wouldn't hurt my feelings knowing there are likely reasons. I admit it may get dicey if you invite a cousin that is a sibling though.

5 - I have about 16 guests that I am not sure will come or not and I would rather not wait until 2 months before I know if they will come or not, are "save-the-date" letters acceptable forms of intial weeding out?

Save the date won't weed much out as you are not likely to hear back from those that in the end won't make it. Easiest is to likely talk to them directly and get a yes or no.

6 - What would you say are the top 10 highest costs for a wedding?

depends on the wedding but typically catering will be high. Then of course the clothing and photography (we were lucky in that my wifes aunt is a professional photographer and did the entire event for material cost...we of course provided here with a nice gift and tip but it was far cheaper than if we hired someone else).

7 - What are some of the questions you would ask the reception location/caterer?

Make sure they will take care of what is important to you and your fiancee. It will be a stressful time so look for a place that will take a good chunk of that stress away by taking care of as many little details as possible.

Most importantly...references and lots of them.




oh and elope.

[Yeah_Baby]

Originally Posted by calgaryrocks

the tux shop on 32 ave ne, just past barlow on the south side in a little strip mall, they were great. it was a sale though, I think normally they are around $90, still way better then some of the other prices in this thread

$90 still seems low. In my experience average is closer to $150.