An old saying comes to mind:
If you love someone they can spill soup on you and you won’t mind,
If you don’t love them the way they hold a spoon will piss you off.
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Yeah. Wife, kids, and I are all pretty simpatico and when we’re not we’re at least complementary in our tastes like Jack Spratt et al. Hard to imagine the kind of relationship where different tastes in foods would cause strife or friction, except maybe philosophically if it has to do with veganism or something. We cook for ourselves and kids pick what they like.
The only time it’s any kind of an issue is when somebody buys a little too much of a certain item with the expectation that everyone is going to love it, and sometimes we don’t so it either sits and takes up space or goes bad.
Food waste and storage is a good one I forgot. Plenty of annoyances, so it's a lot of sigh and move on because conflict on something dumb like this isn't necessary.
Bread, onions and avocados in the fridge.
Lopping off an inch and a half from the bottom of the vegetable and throwing it into the compost vs finely slicing millimeters off the end until the undesired part is gone. "Diced" vegetables occasionally the size of ping pong balls.
Putting food in the fridge in the pot or pan it was cooked in vs putting it in food storage containers... AND no lid.
Raw foods occasionally too close to other foods.
Stuff all over the damn place in the fridge in an illogical manner rather than nice organized categorical sections. (ie: Certain condiments have been in at least 5-6 different locations in the fridge within the last month stored in combinations of horizontal and vertical instead of the nice condiment section in the door... and there is space. My annoyance is the fact I was the one who had to clean up the mess I didn't make when it was stored sideways and it leaked. Pickles were put back sideways too, so I found a puddle of brine in the fridge to clean up.)
We have like 4-5 "pantry type locations" in the house, vs logically combining them into 1-2.
I mean, I also look at it as a major improvement vs how my kitchen was stocked as a bachelor. I still cooked more complex than she ever did back then, but my fridge was typically an embarrassing level of near empty on a regular basis.
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Originally Posted by bizaro86
I think the bolded is probably key. I can imagine a world where a vegan a professional BBQ competitor don't work out, but really other than that...
My wife doesn't like her food as spicy as I do, so as mentioned I add the spice to mine separately. She doesn't care for sushi, so I eat that at lunch or go out with friends for sushi. She's allergic to egg yolks, so we use egg substitute for a lot of stuff. None of which is in any way a big deal.
Agreed. I read the article and it just sounded like a weird power trip. If that's an issue with "food" that couple had far more serious issues than the lady having to use complex ingredients to make complex foods she had never made before and cleaning as she cooked.
My wife came from a long line of great cooks i.e. her Mom, Grandmother, etc., and she made my life a culinary delight. She always told me I was the greatest person to cook for, as I like everything.
I count myself lucky in finding an old school woman who considered the kitchen her domain. I did all the barbequing, and when I was called upon to cook, it was usually something simple like weiners and beans.
How times have changed.
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Overall we’re both compatible and very similar in our tastes. The one big difference isn’t in food selection but rather how we prepare meals. My wife is very structured and follows recipes to a T with exact measurements.
I wing most of my meals and I’d say 95% of the time it works out very well. I smoked a couple tri tip roasts a few weeks ago and then plopped them into a slow cooker with a few other ingredients and made birria tacos. That wouldn’t be something my wife would try just because of how non structured it was. With that said she’s a pretty good cook, she has like 10 dishes that are fantastic and outside of those she’s capable of cooking most things.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oilboimcdavid
Eakins wasn't a bad coach, the team just had 2 bad years, they should've been more patient.
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Overall we’re both compatible and very similar in our tastes. The one big difference isn’t in food selection but rather how we prepare meals. My wife is very structured and follows recipes to a T with exact measurements.
I wing most of my meals and I’d say 95% of the time it works out very well. I smoked a couple tri tip roasts a few weeks ago and then plopped them into a slow cooker with a few other ingredients and made birria tacos. That wouldn’t be something my wife would try just because of how non structured it was. With that said she’s a pretty good cook, she has like 10 dishes that are fantastic and outside of those she’s capable of cooking most things.
Same for me, I am not a structured person at the best of times so I wind up winging it even if I have a clear vision. My girlfriend needs to follow a recipe.
Our biggest challenge is eating styles. I came from a family that only sat down to eat once a week if that. You would kind of make food for yourself on the fly or eat what was prepared when you had time. My girlfriend wants to sit with everything ready and take her time. I've learned to just sit and watch her eat when she is done even if I am ready to move onto the next thing.
I think the bolded is probably key. I can imagine a world where a vegan a professional BBQ competitor don't work out, but really other than that...
Came to say this as well.
Food compatibility may not be a serious factor in a relationship, but - in my experience - would be a major factor in establishing a relationship in the first place. Like, what do you do when you first meet and start dating someone? Go for drinks and go for dinner... The mutual and compatible enjoyment of similar things at that stage seems like a pretty good proxy for how the rest of the relationship will develop (or not).
Personally, food incompatibility was a factor (among others) in the last long term relationship I was in before I met my wife, so I definitely think it's a 'thing'...
Food compatibility may not be a serious factor in a relationship, but - in my experience - would be a major factor in establishing a relationship in the first place. Like, what do you do when you first meet and start dating someone? Go for drinks and go for dinner... The mutual and compatible enjoyment of similar things at that stage seems like a pretty good proxy for how the rest of the relationship will develop (or not).
Personally, food incompatibility was a factor (among others) in the last long term relationship I was in before I met my wife, so I definitely think it's a 'thing'...
Incompatibility would absolutely be a significant factor for me. I’m imagining if my wife was a really picky eater how much it would bother me. Wanna go out for a date night? They better have chicken fingers on the menu at the steakhouse. Have a hankering for some sushi? Cross your fingers there’s Mac and cheese at the restaurant.
This would severely limit food options to cook at home as well. Someone can be a picky eater and that’s fine but constantly catering to a very narrow scope of food (or cooking 2 separate meals) would be a drag.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oilboimcdavid
Eakins wasn't a bad coach, the team just had 2 bad years, they should've been more patient.
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I feel like this is one of the least complicated parts of living with another person. Most people are going to share a level of compatibility that is high enough from the outset, and then most of the rest is going to be made up by the fact that both food and people are very adaptable, especially when it comes to adapting for someone you love.
- Like spice but they don’t? Here’s the hot sauce
- Like salt but they’re off it? If only there was a way to add some to your own plate!
- You’re messy but they like a clean kitchen? Learn to clean up after yourself
- One of you enjoys cooking and the other doesn’t? Give them something else to contribute
I can’t think of an issue that can’t be overcome. Even allergies, which my partner has a couple severe ones… it just becomes a fun challenge to adapt meals so that they still taste great but are safe for them to eat. You learn as you go. Not everything you eat is going to be your favourite thing, so I’m not sure how much friction that would actually cause people. I don’t know, the whole idea seems abstract to me.
This is similar to our family. We had some allergy issues for a while and basically cut lots of foods from our diets completely, since my wife and I didn’t want to basically cook two separate meals. There are quite a few gluten free options out there as well. What allergies does your wife have? We dealt with oats, tomatoes, potatoes, to name a few.
Not at all.
We sometimes eat at different times (I like eating meals on a regular schedule and she makes or orders food whenever she's hungry, usually right after work).
And we rarely eat the same meal at all because she's gluten intolerant and most of my favourite meals are bread heavy with a preference for more processed foods.
It's often like living with a roommate than a romantic partner but we make it work.
Not just my wife, I'm incompatible with our kids too. By that I mean they all love vegetables, I can't stand most of them. But it's no big deal, we still cook them and I just don't eat them.
Some of you would be surprised how complex dietary restrictions can get, and how they can strain relationships. Does it mean we're not compatible? Of course not. But things do get very strained.
I was a 20 year veteran of Type I diabetes when my wife and I met. Things have gotten a lot easier in terms of how diabetes is approached over the 50+ years I've been doing this.
30 years later, stage II kidney disease. Limiting salt and watching protein was the only dietary thing to watch. Those are easy. But pile it on top of the diabetes and it's trickier. Basically nothing that comes from a box or can, or frozen. Most processed stuff is terrible. Limiting carbs and meats, watching fats. And of course trying to fit a well-balanced meal within those constraints.
Then potassium levels were through the roof, pretty major dietary changes, and in conjunction with sodium and protein, it was becoming a pain.
More than a few arguments when it came to prepping dinner (which is what we ate together, mostly), even more at the grocery store. I fell into this 'menu fatigue' where I would just eat white bread toast and fruit for a long time. Even after consulting a dietician, meal planning was still a major chore. Who has the time to figure this stuff out? Tack on working, kids when they're younger (mine are out on their own). I fall into meal planning fatigues all the time, and my wife usually drags me out of it.
We rarely eat out at restaurants together, I think my wife gets bored of the meals we do eat at home, cooking is boring. During larger family occasions there are other dietary factors people bring to the table. In many ways it's easier to make 15 different dishes to appease everyone. That's not really feasible at home every night of the week.
The convenience of a jar of pasta sauce and some tortellini, or a grilled cheese sandwich and can of soup is long gone. Even deli meats, half of the fruit and vegetable catalogue, lots of different breads, potatoes, cheeses, nuts, beans, or dairy isn't advisable. And again, factor in diabetes, finding a balance, protein requirements.
I wouldn't be surprised if my life just left one day.
No disrespect meant, but I don’t think this is really about severe dietary restrictions. Of course those exist (there are entire food groups that don’t exist in my house), and of course they can be really difficult to manage, but if you read the article it’s basically like, “oh, they’re messy and I’m not, I make the Korean food I grew up on and they want jello salad.” Like, entirely low-rent issues.
Your point actually re-enforces how dumb the “food compatibility” thing is. People complaining because they can’t figure out how to add spice to their own meal? Mostly nonsense, imo. People with actual food issues to navigate figure it out without killing each other.
As I stated in my first post, this isn't something I have really much experience with as the relationships I have had, have been very foot compatible. Nobody ever agrees 100% and people of course have different preferences for eating at home or eating out.
The little easy things are exactly that, little easy things. People can add salt, pepper, spice and go vegetarian once in a while easily.
When you get into the vegan, vegetarian, pescatarian, gluten intolerant, lactose, health kicks and more. It becomes a point of friction all the time. Who is cooking what, when? I don't like this and that. Different stores for different deals, preferences and more.
Some like leftovers, some can't stand them. Some cook in serious batches and meal prep, other's take it a meal at a time.
Thankfully my family is pretty much on the same page and so has my dating life but seeing other people first hand, it's comical, disaster and more.
I caught this episode on HBO's The Sopranos the other day and I love this scene.
Last edited by curves2000; 03-06-2024 at 04:07 PM.
Didn't read the thread or the article. but from the title alone that's an easy no.
My wife likes fatless overcooked steaks, microwave casseroles, dissects her food to pieces while eating leaving roughly 85% of the edible content shredded on her plate. She'll scrap somewhere in the range of 45% of a raw chick breast before cooking because of veins, and has to measure everything to the ml while cooking or will likely forego eating it. I find her food habits verging on disgusting, but haven't really let it get in the way, some times she leaves the best parts of her meal on her plate and I get to double dip on those. Sometime when she makes her crappy microwave casserole meals, I just have cereal or toast, it really makes no difference for our relationship.
Generally, yes. We share the same favourite cuisine types. There are a few specific items where we disagree vehemently, but thankfully those items are pretty insignificant and don't prevent us from enjoying trips to restaurants, etc.
Generally, yes. We share the same favourite cuisine types. There are a few specific items where we disagree vehemently, but thankfully those items are pretty insignificant and don't prevent us from enjoying trips to restaurants, etc.
You just reminded me that me and my wife have 2 dishes we disagree on, veal and foie gras. I will order a veal cutlet if it’s on the menu and I tried foie gras in Mexico one time. She doesn’t mind me eating either of those but she will never order either. She did try some of the foie gras however and, to her dismay, she said it was delicious. I have to agree as well, it was very tasty but odds are I won’t be ordering it again, maybe years down the road but I’ll never actually seek it out.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oilboimcdavid
Eakins wasn't a bad coach, the team just had 2 bad years, they should've been more patient.
