Anakin is long dead in a galaxy far far away... there's only one option left to us in the here and now.
Spoiler!
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How did you turn the parental controls off the modem, Dion?
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But living an honest life - for that you need the truth. That's the other thing I learned that day, that the truth, however shocking or uncomfortable, leads to liberation and dignity. -Ricky Gervais
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Which one of you mullet heads is selling your car?
Quote:
Have you ever wanted to own the same car of the Uzbekistani Tourist Police in 2007 or the School Resource Police Program in Saskatchewan?
No, me neither….
Yet, here we both are…
Anyway, this comes loaded with all modern technology from 2007 in various states of working order; let's run through some of the features of this mildly embarrassing mountain beater...
Pros
• Price – Pretty reasonable at $900
• Fuel Economy - Excellent
• Reliability - Starts every time
• Social Distancing – Friends and family won’t want to ride in this
• Taco holder - can also be used for glasses
• Handling – Pretty nimble handling in Timmy's drive through
• Flatulence - Rarely been farted in
• Speed - Proven speeds in excess of 100km/h (see photo 2)
• Tires - Comes with 4 winter tires installed and 4 all season tires
• Panhandlers – They don’t bother approaching
• Best Performance - This car really shines in playground zones between the hours of 7.30am and 9.00pm and on the neverending construction on Crowchild Trail.
Added Features
• Loonie for your shopping trolley
• Comes with complimentary roll of black tape for the check engine light
• Includes mint aero lost under passenger seat in 2017
Cons
• Acceleration - 0-60mph in 24 minutes
• Power - Originally 99 horsepower, a few of these nags are dead
• Aircon - Doesn't work so you'll be sweating like a priest at choir practice for 2 weeks a year
• Airbags – Not working
• Bluetooth – Nope
• Engine light – Came on a week ago
• Bodywork – A few minor modifications courtesy of a bus in Utah and a garage that was smaller than I thought it was
• Electronic Fob – Not working
• Hail Damage – hell yeah,
• Horn – Not working
• Salsa - Remnants of a spilt jar of salsa (spiciness levels unknown) on the back seat
• Suspension – will need new front shocks reasonably soon.
I'll also let my pet beagle in unsupervised for 5 minutes to vacuum up any miscellaneous crumbs. He’s a fully certified good boy so you're in safe hands.
My wife let our 5 year old listen to Starships by Nikki Minaj once (so she says), then she said "higher than a mother fker" out of the blue in front of some other parents.
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"A pessimist thinks things can't get any worse. An optimist knows they can."
