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Old 07-10-2020, 10:24 AM   #121
habernac
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Or just talk to your neighbours as I have. I asked their kids to use the gate and come over anytime they like if a ball goes over the fence. This way my fence isn't used as playground equipment.
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Old 07-10-2020, 10:25 AM   #122
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Dion's dad terrorizing an animal for ####s n giggles makes him an ####### too.
His neighbours probably shouldn't let their cat wander around the neighborhood then.

Christ that one pisses me off. Hate when people do that
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Old 07-10-2020, 10:25 AM   #123
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Personally, if a neighbourhood kid had a ball drop into my yard and hopped the fence to get it, I'd have no issue with that. The statement "it's unacceptable" doesn't apply to everyone. Don't get me wrong it's fine you want kids to ask to enter your yard before getting their stuff. Just don't expect everyone to follow the same 'rules' as you.

For me, I don’t really care if somebody has to go to my backyard and get something. If the situation were reversed, I would probably knock first and ask. If they failed to answer the door, then I’d just go get it.
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Old 07-10-2020, 10:27 AM   #124
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I agree with the fence thing. Climbing over it would be annoying but walking around isn't an issue at all
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Old 07-10-2020, 11:28 AM   #125
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I think there are some important distinctions to be made in Textcritic's story.

First, he didn't just abscond with the child. The kid came over to his house voluntarily and with the intention of distancing himself from what the child perceived as an unsafe situation.

Second, there was no forceful action in this story. The closest it may have come is the prevention of (heavy handed language warning) forceful entry and seizure on Textcritic's property. There was no preventing the child from leaving, the child didn't want to leave and Textcritic was neither going to allow the parents to enter his home and take the child nor just kick him out. Given the tangible volatility the right call was to the RCMP.

As for kids coming into yards to retrieve toys and balls, I've never been the personality to be bothered by children doing that. I've lived a fence apart from one neighbor or another my whole life, and if they have kids it all starts with a conversation in our backyards over the fence saying they can come in and get back what they need. That up front respect and trust has never caused a problem, and because my backyard is boring to children nothing has ever gone missing.
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Old 07-10-2020, 11:56 AM   #126
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Personally, if a neighbourhood kid had a ball drop into my yard and hopped the fence to get it, I'd have no issue with that. The statement "it's unacceptable" doesn't apply to everyone. Don't get me wrong it's fine you want kids to ask to enter your yard before getting their stuff. Just don't expect everyone to follow the same 'rules' as you.
You can do with your property or allow access to your property as you wish. I will qualify what I said before with it is unacceptable to assume that your neighbor is ok with it before asking.

I will also qualify this by letting everyone know that the reason I feel strongly about this is that our neighbor kids have Broken multiple things in our back yard both with flying balls and climbing over the fence. So I have a bit of a strong view on this. There was a time when it would not have bothered me. And even after all of this I will still go retrieve balls from our yard when they knock of the door, I wouldn't keep their balls.

The point is you can not assume that it is OK before asking. And just because you are OK with it doesn't mean other people are, it is not your property.

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Old 07-10-2020, 12:12 PM   #127
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There might be some red flags there. The other kids parents thought his kid was a bad influence, the neighbours seem to have issues with his kid, and the "but my kid said..." seems to be the default response.
And how long does it take to grab a ball in someone else's driveway where they have enough time to come out and grab it?
My first reaction to this is to respond with something incredibly rude and dismissive that might rhyme with "No luck yourself."

Frankly, you don't know me. You don't know my kids. You don't have the first clue about my "default response." You also don't have a clear layout of my property, my driveway, the location of the basketball hoop at the time of the incident, the distance, size and construction of my neighbour's driveway.

Comments about fence etiquette is certainly relevant, and I tend to agree with most: Jumping the fence is unacceptable, and a discussion with neighbours about their own expectations is the right approach. These are conversations that I don't believe I had ever had with any of my kids in the past. But then again, there was never a fence between my and the neighbour's yard for the first 13-years we have lived here. The previous neighbours weren't at all inconvenienced by the occasional ball on their property—the fence is new within the past few months.

But yeah, everyone knows the rules now. We moved the basketball to the other side of the driveway after the incident, and I installed a 6' fence between the driveways in an effort to ensure that the ball stays on our property.
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Old 07-10-2020, 12:29 PM   #128
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My first reaction to this is to respond with something incredibly rude and dismissive that might rhyme with "No luck yourself."

Frankly, you don't know me. You don't know my kids. You don't have the first clue about my "default response." You also don't have a clear layout of my property, my driveway, the location of the basketball hoop at the time of the incident, the distance, size and construction of my neighbor's driveway.

Comments about fence etiquette is certainly relevant, and I tend to agree with most: Jumping the fence is unacceptable, and a discussion with neighbors about their own expectations is the right approach. These are conversations that I don't believe I had ever had with any of my kids in the past. But then again, there was never a fence between my and the neighbor's yard for the first 13-years we have lived here. The previous neighbors weren't at all inconvenienced by the occasional ball on their property—the fence is new within the past few months.

But yeah, everyone knows the rules now. We moved the basketball to the other side of the driveway after the incident, and I installed a 6' fence between the driveways in an effort to ensure that the ball stays on our property.
I'm sure its also tough sticking your neck out there on a forum and having people jump all over you. People look at your situation and reflect it back to their experience. So when I hear someone talk about kids jumping fences all I think about are the broken solar lights, rear patio screen door, and utility bin lid that was used as a ladder. Someone else may say "what is the big deal" because it has never adversely affected them. So people are just responding to the limited information provided. I have just had so many problems with our neighbor kids that this topic makes my blood boil immediately. Everything from playing basketball right outside our young daughters window and midnight and starting up again a 5:30 the next morning to try to start a teen basketball league on the street (10-20 teens at anyone time until late in the night) during the highest covid restrictions, followed by loud music starting at 11:00pm outside.

In the end multiple people on the block ended up calling both by-law and the police multiple times before things finally started to calm down.

Last edited by RogerWilco; 07-10-2020 at 12:32 PM.
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Old 07-10-2020, 03:03 PM   #129
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My first reaction to this is to respond with something incredibly rude and dismissive that might rhyme with "No luck yourself."

Frankly, you don't know me. You don't know my kids. You don't have the first clue about my "default response." You also don't have a clear layout of my property, my driveway, the location of the basketball hoop at the time of the incident, the distance, size and construction of my neighbour's driveway.

Comments about fence etiquette is certainly relevant, and I tend to agree with most: Jumping the fence is unacceptable, and a discussion with neighbours about their own expectations is the right approach. These are conversations that I don't believe I had ever had with any of my kids in the past. But then again, there was never a fence between my and the neighbour's yard for the first 13-years we have lived here. The previous neighbours weren't at all inconvenienced by the occasional ball on their property—the fence is new within the past few months.

But yeah, everyone knows the rules now. We moved the basketball to the other side of the driveway after the incident, and I installed a 6' fence between the driveways in an effort to ensure that the ball stays on our property.
I certainly overstepped my bounds. I'll remove the post and apologize.
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Old 07-10-2020, 03:17 PM   #130
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after all the dumb ass crap, drug taking and 4am police takedowns that my foster kids have done over the years my neighbours can decide to use my front door mat as a toilet and I pretty much just have to smile and compliment them on the firm healthy colour of their turds.

That said kids will be kids, its fine to shout at them to get the eff' off your lawn but dont lose perspective either, you did it when you were a kid, your kids did it as well, its nothing to get butt hurt over long term
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Old 07-27-2020, 10:19 PM   #131
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Staying at a small resort in BC for a break with the family. Wifi included, but they specify at checkin that it is for surfing only, no streaming/games. The check in person covered this verbally plus it was in the pamphlet with check in stuff and covid info. I think it's basically one high speed line for everyone to share.

This evening I'm reading CP when the speed drops dramatically. A Google cast window pops up in my notification bar, someone on the network is streaming a movie. Since the wifi is unsecured I can turn off their cast, and do so. Internet better for a minute, then back as they must have restarted (without casting).

Am I the A$% for turning off their cast, or is it them for using all the communal bandwidth? Posting from my cellular data...
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Old 07-27-2020, 10:30 PM   #132
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That sounds like fun. Can you cast something to their device? Ooh. The possibilities.
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Old 07-28-2020, 04:52 AM   #133
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Unless there's something you aren't telling us, that seems like a pretty clear cut NTA. If it's "one for all" and they are being gits and using it all up, that makes them TA pretty easily.
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Old 07-28-2020, 07:12 AM   #134
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Man, am I glad that I didn’t grow up with some of you guys as neighbours.

Regarding thou shalt not cast, NTA. That’s the risk you take when you knowingly go against the policies of someone else’s wireless network. A network administrator could have done the same thing, really.
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Old 07-28-2020, 05:44 PM   #135
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That sounds like fun. Can you cast something to their device? Ooh. The possibilities.
I hadn't thought of that. Tempting.

I don't think I'm forgetting anything pertinent. If they were casting something they had downloaded (the source was specified as Prime video) then I'd feel bad. But given how much crappier the wifi performance got at the same time I doubt that's the case.
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Old 07-28-2020, 11:14 PM   #136
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Staying at a small resort in BC for a break with the family. Wifi included, but they specify at checkin that it is for surfing only, no streaming/games. The check in person covered this verbally plus it was in the pamphlet with check in stuff and covid info. I think it's basically one high speed line for everyone to share.

This evening I'm reading CP when the speed drops dramatically. A Google cast window pops up in my notification bar, someone on the network is streaming a movie. Since the wifi is unsecured I can turn off their cast, and do so. Internet better for a minute, then back as they must have restarted (without casting).

Am I the A$% for turning off their cast, or is it them for using all the communal bandwidth? Posting from my cellular data...
In the spirit of this thread, ESH, but in the same situation I probably would’ve turned off their cast too.

It’s like a parent bringing in a couple of large pizzas for a kid’s sleep over party and the fat kid takes most of the pizza. You, being the other kid at the party, hides fat kid’s insulin. Fat kid is flustered that he can’t eat without insulin. But it sounds like the fat kid shruged his shoulders and started eating pizza anyways
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Old 07-29-2020, 08:50 AM   #137
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In the spirit of this thread, ESH, but in the same situation I probably would’ve turned off their cast too.

It’s like a parent bringing in a couple of large pizzas for a kid’s sleep over party and the fat kid takes most of the pizza. You, being the other kid at the party, hides fat kid’s insulin. Fat kid is flustered that he can’t eat without insulin. But it sounds like the fat kid shruged his shoulders and started eating pizza anyways
Huh. That is some kinda example you got there. Is there something you want to discuss here?
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Old 07-30-2020, 08:19 AM   #138
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I think I am being completely reasonable in my situation but would like to hear others thoughts.

I had a destination wedding scheduled for November. We hired a wedding planner who had 2 packages. One was for $4000 and the other $4500. The extra $500 included on site coordination. We would also have to pay for all of her travel costs on top of the $4500. We opted for the $4500 package and paid $250 for a deposit for her travel.

The wedding has been cancelled now due to COVID. I am requesting a refund for the $500 as we are not traveling anywhere. We lost out on her $250 travel deposit as that was non refundable with the travel company. I am not asking for any of the $4000 back because she did help us with our wedding planning. After I requested the $500 back, she has not communicated at all with us. I'm getting very frustrated with this situation because we lost out on all of our deposits for the venue, travel etc. I should get the $500 because she cannot render this service.

AITA?
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Old 07-30-2020, 08:36 AM   #139
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It might depend on if she had already done a bunch of coordination ahead of time. If she already did some of the work(and maybe even paid some out already), perhaps splitting it? But since she has ghosted you, that's pretty poor form on her part.
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Old 07-30-2020, 08:57 AM   #140
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Probably best to check the contract first to see, but based on the facts you laid out it doesn't seem like you are out of line. The ghosting if probably the worst part of the whole thing - if she doesn't want to pay back the $500, at least respond and give reasoning.
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