High-Profile Sexual Abuse Epidemic

[#-3]

Originally Posted by bigtmac19

https://www.laineygossip.com/charism...gel-sets/68039

I find a lot of the comments here, pretty dismissive and disappointing.

"And we know, from the millions of women who have called out their abusers in public, that it doesn’t matter how famous you are, or who you’re associated with – there will still be people who want to shout you down and deny your experiences. Ask Evan Rachel Wood whether she felt any more secure talking about her abuse at the hands of Brian Warner because she now collects a tidy paycheck. More pointedly, ask Aurora Perrineau, an emerging young woman of colour, how it felt to finally come forward, only to be publicly ridiculed and called a liar by a woman who is much more famous and powerful than she is (not to mention someone who purported to be a feminist)."

thanked for being on topic, we have at least 1 thread dedicated to the destruction of all religion already (Godless Apostate). we don't need let it bleed into all of the other threads.

[afc wimbledon]

Mathew Good now in trouble

[troutman]

Originally Posted by afc wimbledon

Mathew Good now in trouble

Matthew Good Dropped By Label After Abuse Allegations Surface Online
Warner Music Canada "has seen the recent allegations ...and take them very seriously"

https://exclaim.ca/music/article/mat...surface_online

Mather claims she has been approached by approximately 12 other women with similar stories of abuse and mistreatment, though the network has been unable to confirm or corroborate the claim at this time.

[PaperBagger'14]

Originally Posted by afc wimbledon

Mathew Good now in trouble

I dont know where the line gets drawn, but Matt Good's ex said in the following article "everything that took place was consensual".

Thats a very odd statement to make about someone that she is also calling a serial abuser.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/globaln...ey-mather/amp/

[Locke]

Originally Posted by PaperBagger'14

I dont know where the line gets drawn, but Matt Good's ex said in the following article "everything that took place was consensual".

Thats a very odd statement to make about someone that she is also calling a serial abuser.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/globaln...ey-mather/amp/

I dont know, but if nothing else it seems to muddy the waters.

Lets see what shakes out. Because if she says it was consensual, and obviously he would believe that it was...what do you want?

[Cecil Terwilliger]

Originally Posted by PaperBagger'14

I dont know where the line gets drawn, but Matt Good's ex said in the following article "everything that took place was consensual".

Thats a very odd statement to make about someone that she is also calling a serial abuser.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/globaln...ey-mather/amp/

Just because it was consensual, doesn’t mean it wasn’t abuse.

[PaperBagger'14]

Originally Posted by Cecil Terwilliger

Just because it was consensual, doesn’t mean it wasn’t abuse.

I cant say without knowing everything about what happened, but its a weird grey line. I dont understand how you can say "yeah this is good" at the time and be upset later after context has changed.

My view is he's probably a ######bag at minimum, if what she inferred about him cheating is true. That could also escalate very quickly depending what comes out.

[The Familia]

Originally Posted by sketchyt

I went to Catholic school and the major things I got out of it was concepts like 'turning the other cheek' and not name calling. Using reason/logic and not emotion to engage with someone even if they are.

I really hope you're not a teacher. If you are, you really need to rethink your Catholic morals. The ones I was brought up on. The way you're engaging would have lost me as a student (and an adult) immediately.

My last comment in this thread. You have no clue who I am, my Catholic values, my teaching style, nor my reputation. This is an Internet forum not a classroom. I turn the other cheek every second of every day and have always remained extremely professional in my job. I think I’m allowed the freedom to let my guard down and spout off a bit if I feel some internet strangers have been ignorant. I’m not a saint nor am I perfect, but I’m glad to hear you are.

[81MC]

I’m really not liking where this is going. From women who have endured sexual assault, abuse, and harassment to whatever this is now?

####, news flash. When people break up, generally it’s because someone wasn’t a good fit for the other. Like what is the actual claim here?

This I just don’t get. Yeah, you guys had a relationship, you didn’t like it and you’re no longer together. #### me.

[PepsiFree]

Originally Posted by 81MC

I’m really not liking where this is going. From women who have endured sexual assault, abuse, and harassment to whatever this is now?

####, news flash. When people break up, generally it’s because someone wasn’t a good fit for the other. Like what is the actual claim here?

This I just don’t get. Yeah, you guys had a relationship, you didn’t like it and you’re no longer together. #### me.

Maybe it’s time to step back and ask yourself why you seem more upset about people speaking up than the content of the stories they tell.

I say this with only good intentions because I 100% don’t believe you do it maliciously, but with Manson it was a bad relationship, with Whedon it was a bad boss, with Good it’s a bad breakup. You seem to find some excuse to brush things off and in all cases, blame the women coming forward for not making better choices at the time or sucking it up.

You can disagree with the consequences (for example, just based on what Maher’s story is, I don’t think an appropriate punishment is being dropped from your label, but I also understand why companies quickly distance themselves from these guys) but I still think it’s worthwhile to listen, and I really think you should start doing that. The fact that we don’t think mental and emotional abuse is a big deal is a horrible thing. Manson’s case obviously went beyond that and was physical and sexual in nature, but still, it’s worth asking yourself: Am I ok with people mentally, emotionally, physically, or sexually abusing their partners? I have to assume the answer for you is no to all of the above, so why do you make those things sound more acceptable than coming forward about them?

And I get that the fact that it was “consensual” in some of these cases might seem ok, but love and attachment cloud a lot of things. Sometimes it takes being separated from someone to see the situation and the impact it had on you clearly.

[savemedrzaius]

I think it's well documented that Matt Good is an #######. He's apparently bipolar and has always had a reputation.

But from what she said in the Exclaim article it just sounds like he was a really bad boyfriend (cheated on her, lied to her, etc.)

And she has that right to air her grievances any way she wants. But to me him being dropped by his label so quickly is a problem.

[GreenLantern2814]

Originally Posted by savemedrzaius

I think it's well documented that Matt Good is an #######. He's apparently bipolar and has always had a reputation.

But from what she said in the Exclaim article it just sounds like he was a really bad boyfriend (cheated on her, lied to her, etc.)

And she has that right to air her grievances any way she wants. But to me him being dropped by his label so quickly is a problem.

Cheating on your girlfriend and lying to her isn’t a reason to get fired from your job.

I’m sorry, but it’s not.

Human beings treat each other poorly.

That’s never going away. It’s life.

[bigtmac19]

I not going to read this thread anymore! I find almost every comment to be the worst kind of dismissive man-splaining on how these stories do not warrant being called abuse. It makes me sick. This is the problem in a nutshell. I thought the majority of men here were better than this. Apparently not.

[blankall]

There may be more between Good and his record label too. This might have been the last straw. His last album peaked at 49 on the Canadian charts. He was likely also an ass to the record company staff. Combine that with these accusations and they'd probably had enough of him.

[GordonBlue]

Originally Posted by bigtmac19

I not going to read this thread anymore! I find almost every comment to be the worst kind of dismissive man-splaining on how these stories do not warrant being called abuse. It makes me sick. This is the problem in a nutshell. I thought the majority of men here were better than this. Apparently not.

I don't think you're reading the posts properly.
I find the vast majority of guys posting here are better than what you're assuming.
There are also a few posts asking questions to further discussion and the better understand. can't call someone out who is actually open to trying to learn something and perhaps have their point of view changed.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by PepsiFree

Maybe it’s time to step back and ask yourself why you seem more upset about people speaking up than the content of the stories they tell.

I say this with only good intentions because I 100% don’t believe you do it maliciously, but with Manson it was a bad relationship, with Whedon it was a bad boss, with Good it’s a bad breakup. You seem to find some excuse to brush things off and in all cases, blame the women coming forward for not making better choices at the time or sucking it up.

You can disagree with the consequences (for example, just based on what Maher’s story is, I don’t think an appropriate punishment is being dropped from your label, but I also understand why companies quickly distance themselves from these guys) but I still think it’s worthwhile to listen, and I really think you should start doing that. The fact that we don’t think mental and emotional abuse is a big deal is a horrible thing. Manson’s case obviously went beyond that and was physical and sexual in nature, but still, it’s worth asking yourself: Am I ok with people mentally, emotionally, physically, or sexually abusing their partners? I have to assume the answer for you is no to all of the above, so why do you make those things sound more acceptable than coming forward about them?

And I get that the fact that it was “consensual” in some of these cases might seem ok, but love and attachment cloud a lot of things. Sometimes it takes being separated from someone to see the situation and the impact it had on you clearly.

I'm really uncomfortable with shaming somebody publicly and to the detriment of their personal and professional life just because they're a jerk. It's a sledgehammer response that's way beyond what's necessary. With something illegal - like sexual abuse - it presumably triggers a trial where evidence can come out and at least there's a hope of redemption if the accused is actually innocent. We have a means to determine if the accusations are true/just/represented fairly and punishment is measured and appropriate. This trend of airing of grievances absent of any illegal behaviour has the potential to create more problems than it addresses and is too vulnerable to abuse.

It can't be accepted that just because a woman comes forward with a gripe that we instantly believe her.

[troutman]

Originally Posted by blankall

There may be more between Good and his record label too. This might have been the last straw. His last album peaked at 49 on the Canadian charts. He was likely also an ass to the record company staff. Combine that with these accusations and they'd probably had enough of him.

Like with Ghomeshi - within the industry there were a lot of red flags that the general public still does not know about.

[Cecil Terwilliger]

Originally Posted by bigtmac19

I not going to read this thread anymore! I find almost every comment to be the worst kind of dismissive man-splaining on how these stories do not warrant being called abuse. It makes me sick. This is the problem in a nutshell. I thought the majority of men here were better than this. Apparently not.

This might be the worst comment I've read in this thread so far.

My god what an awful thing to say. By the way, don't let the door hit you on the way out if that's how you feel about this community based on the comments of a few people.

If you're the kind of person who thinks it is ok to make disparaging comments about an entire group of people based on the comments of a few then maybe you're the very thing that you're complaining about.

I hope you're thoroughly embarrassed for posting something so incredibly ignorant.

[Erick Estrada]

Maybe the path forward is for celebrities who want to ensure they are always employable is to lead a celibate life by themselves. I had a girlfriend that was a total nightmare that cheated on me and damaged my self esteem but I can't imagine years later opening up about that to ruin her career as I've moved on and simply don't focus on things in the past. I imagine plenty of people have been involved in bad relationships as it's part of the experience that is life.

[Cecil Terwilliger]

Originally Posted by Sliver

I'm really uncomfortable with shaming somebody publicly and to the detriment of their personal and professional life just because they're a jerk. It's a sledgehammer response that's way beyond what's necessary. With something illegal - like sexual abuse - it presumably triggers a trial where evidence can come out and at least there's a hope of redemption if the accused is actually innocent. We have a means to determine if the accusations are true/just/represented fairly and punishment is measured and appropriate. This trend of airing of grievances absent of any illegal behaviour has the potential to create more problems than it addresses and is too vulnerable to abuse.

It can't be accepted that just because a woman comes forward with a gripe that we instantly believe her.

I think we as a society need to come to terms with the fact that this is the modern views on abuse.

No longer will it be considered as just being a "jerk".

IMO the whole public shaming thing is another story. There is definitely an aspect of drawing attention to oneself, public vendetta, creating a media storm and ego involved.

On the other hand, for years going through the proper channels accomplished nothing. If the only way to find justice is to shame via the court of public opinion, then maybe that's the path forward.