Physical Manifestation of Grief

[undercoverbrother]

Has anyone ever experienced grief via physical aliment.

Sorry this I am not being too clear.

I recently received some bad news, a friend of 20+ years killed himself Monday morning.

I haven't really dealt with or spoken about it this as I am too busy with work. I just shove it back in when I start to think about it.

I woke up on Tuesday morning and had extreme pain in my shoulder and jaw. (never bothered me before).

[nik-]

Stress can cause tension and muscle tension can turn into pain. I would consider grief a form of stress.

Take a day off man, talk to someone.

[icecube]

I could see it having to do with what's going through your subconscious when you sleep. You could be clenching your jaw extremely tight or tensing up in your sleep and not even knowing it. Dentist noticed a difference in my bite and realized I was grinding my teeth and wasn't aware of it. It started during the time my mother in law was dying of cancer.

I recommend meditation or try out one of those float tanks once. It makes a big difference in stress, I can assure you.

[bigtmac19]

Absolutely agree that stress of that nature can show up in physical symptoms, especially seeing as you have tried to ignore what must be a lot of sadness/anger, etc. over such a sad event.

[CaptainCrunch]

First of all, sorry about your loss.

Second of all, I think you really need to talk to someone and work it out. When I hear pain in the shoulder and jaw.

If its muscular skeletal pain that's normal when you're stressed and you're tense all the time.

But if its not it could be a sign of other things, and you should run and not walk to a doctor.

The old theory is to get it out of your system, I had a friend of mine die relatively young and horribly and I was so tense and angry that I was in physical pain, and the way that I got that anger out was not the most productive.

AHS and even the city of Calgary has free grief support resources, I would probably think it couldn't hurt for you to explore these.

http://www.albertahealthservices.ca/...page13161.aspx

http://www.calgary.ca/cps/Pages/Comm...reavement.aspx

The old way, and you and me both know about it is to have the stiff upper lip and tuck the grief and anger away and to put on a strong front for everyone else. But its bulls%%t and its bad for you physically and mentally and you need to deal with it in a manner that doesn't burn you to a cinder.

[CroFlames]

Sorry about your loss bud.

Everyone experiences grief differently, as well as deals with it differently. I think the only universal thing about grief is to not try to hide it. Take a few days off and/or talk to someone about it. Maybe you cry your eyes out with a family member or friend, and then you are able to begin moving on. Sometimes it can be just that.

I wouldn't be shocked if your physical pain is a result of pent up grief that you have been leaving on the backburner for a week.

There is no perfect way to deal with grief; but definitely take the first step and let it out.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by CroFlames

Sorry about your loss bud.

Everyone experiences grief differently, as well as deals with it differently. I think the only universal thing about grief is to not try to hide it. Take a few days off and/or talk to someone about it. Maybe you cry your eyes out with a family member or friend, and then you are able to begin moving on. Sometimes it can be just that.

I wouldn't be shocked if your physical pain is a result of pent up grief that you have been leaving on the backburner for a week.

There is no perfect way to deal with grief; but definitely take the first step and let it out.

I really think that UCB should run and not walk to a doctor at least so he knows if this is muscular skeletal pain, or if its the symptom of something else.

not to freak him out, but generalized pain under stress or pain in the jaw or upper arm could be a precursor to a heart issue.

Get to a doctor, talk to him about whats going on and get checked out please!!!

[Sliver]

OMG. Captain Crunch's thoughts that this could be a heart issue is exactly why taking medical advice on a chat forum is the worst.

My bad advice is to download Beth Salcedo's Progressive Muscle Relaxation and hit that right away. It's a 20-minute meditation/muscle relaxation exercise that will help quickly. Especially if you do it daily for the next couple of weeks. I always use it when I'm stressed and it has never once failed to help.

Seeing a professional isn't a bad idea, either, but I wouldn't start worrying about your heart quite yet.

Sorry for your loss.

[icecube]

Always better to be safe than sorry imo.

[metallicat]

Originally Posted by Sliver

OMG. Captain Crunch's thoughts that this could be a heart issue is exactly why taking medical advice on a chat forum is the worst.

My bad advice is to download Beth Salcedo's Progressive Muscle Relaxation and hit that right away. It's a 20-minute meditation/muscle relaxation exercise that will help quickly. Especially if you do it daily for the next couple of weeks. I always use it when I'm stressed and it has never once failed to help.

Seeing a professional isn't a bad idea, either, but I wouldn't start worrying about your heart quite yet.

Sorry for your loss.

You realize though, that you're doing essentially the same exact thing by telling him not to go to a doctor, and rather use a relaxation technique found on the internet, right?

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by Sliver

OMG. Captain Crunch's thoughts that this could be a heart issue is exactly why taking medical advice on a chat forum is the worst.

My bad advice is to download Beth Salcedo's Progressive Muscle Relaxation and hit that right away. It's a 20-minute meditation/muscle relaxation exercise that will help quickly. Especially if you do it daily for the next couple of weeks. I always use it when I'm stressed and it has never once failed to help.

Seeing a professional isn't a bad idea, either, but I wouldn't start worrying about your heart quite yet.

Sorry for your loss.

Are you fn serious right now, I'm telling him to go see a medical professional and get a professional opinion instead of just guessing that this is some stress or tension pain.

UCB is under tremendous strain right now, just read his post, and internalizing it and not being sure or doing meditation without talking to a medical professional is actually dangerous as hell.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by oilers_fan

You realize though, that you're doing essentially the same exact thing by telling him not to go to a doctor, and rather use a relaxation technique found on the internet, right?

Yeah, that's why I said "my bad advice."

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Are you fn serious right now, I'm telling him to go see a medical professional and get a professional opinion instead of just guessing that this is some stress or tension pain.

UCB is under tremendous strain right now, just read his post, and internalizing it and not being sure or doing meditation without talking to a medical professional is actually dangerous as hell.

Yeah, I said seeing a professional isn't a bad idea. I just thought it unnecessarily added to his worries for you to start theorizing that he was having heart trouble. Dude is grieving and stressed out - we don't need to plant the seed in his mind that he could have a heart attack based on basically no information whatsoever.

I mean, if that was your concern, you could have said a general 'see a doctor - could be grief, could be stress, could be something else.' To specify a specific problem in the most important organ of your body on top of everything else seems counter-productive to helping somebody lower their stress.

[-TC-]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Are you fn serious right now, I'm telling him to go see a medical professional and get a professional opinion instead of just guessing that this is some stress or tension pain.

UCB is under tremendous strain right now, just read his post, and internalizing it and not being sure or doing meditation without talking to a medical professional is actually dangerous as hell.

Speaking from personal experience, this is EXACTLY RIGHT.

I'm a fan of meditation, but under the circumstances, the right answer is to seek guidance from a medical doctor as soon as possible.

I was having weird pains in my chest and arm, shortness of breath.... I went to the emerg, they took my blood pressure and admitted me right away.

In my case it was all good after some tests, but I wasn't going through what the OP is right now.

My advice: A medical doctor right now and a grief councillor asap.


I'm sorry man, I recently lost someone unexpectedly too...

[Puppet Guy]

Captain's right - go talk to a doctor and leave work for a few days.

You'll want to get up and move around - go walking for an hour or so, or however long you need to. When I had the worst visits from the depression monkey, just walking somewhere quiet helped ease some out.

[DoubleF]

Sorry for your loss.

In all seriousness though, go see a doc UCB. There may be more at play than just the physical pain.

As far as I know, grief/stress can cause all sorts of physical ailments ranging from pain, headaches, hair loss/greying etc.

Stress can also cause other issues to flare up. I believe Shingles for instance can flare up in times of stress/old age etc. (Not to say you have shingles, just an example of something that could trigger in extreme stress). Other things to keep tabs on may be heart attack and stroke. A medical professional can help better with something like that than we can. Someone I know had extreme stress (not same as yours) and their blood pressure shot so high, that they were retained for nearly 20 hours at an urgent care centre. This was someone in their 20s. Someone older may have other things to be concerned about as well.

Pain killers and booze may not be the best treatment for the physical ailments from the stress as it's really just a band aid to the pain. It's probably better to get the ailments dealt with at the root of the issue. Medical professionals and counselors are best equipped than we are to deal with such things.

[peter12]

Go see someone as soon as possible.

[NuclearFart]

Listen to Captain Crunch and put Sliver on the ignore list.

If a physician hears "a 40+ year old male with extreme jaw and shoulder pain" - an acute coronary syndrome absolutely must be considered. Hopefully it is all psychosomatic or MSK, but that is a diagnosis made once the bad stuff has been excluded.

STOP LOOKING AT THE INTERNET AND PROMPTLY GET YOURSELF TO MEDICAL ATTENTION

[JiriHrdina]

Whether it is truly physical or a physical sympton of your grief - get help.
It doesn't matter if it is mental or not, it is all about your health. So get assistance.
PM me if you want to chat (use Wild GM account as this one can't take PMs for some reason) more one on one.

[dissentowner]

Sorry for your loss, as others have said, reach out for help.

[pylon]

Yes. Depression and sadness can cause physical pain. However the timing may also be coincidental. At our ages UCB, you never know if the timing is a coincidence, and if it's something to do with your heart.

Doing something is infinitely better than nothing. At least go to a walk in at your first chance. Don't roll the dice. Especially if it's your ticker.