2:40 where the drunk guy is trying to baby crawl across the road is great. Who the heck is that drunk mid-day? Only in Soviet Russia
A couple years back at the UofA I took a "Russian History Post Cold War" class (don't know why it wasn't just considered a Poly Sci class given the time period, but nonetheless), and our prof was from the Ukraine. He was telling us vodka consumption is a huge problem in Russia right now because of how ridiculously affordable it is over there. He was telling us you can get enough vodka to fill a bath tub for only about $3-4! That's my kind of bath.
A couple years back at the UofA I took a "Russian History Post Cold War" class (don't know why it wasn't just considered a Poly Sci class given the time period, but nonetheless), and our prof was from the Ukraine. He was telling us vodka consumption is a huge problem in Russia right now because of how ridiculously affordable it is over there. He was telling us you can get enough vodka to fill a bath tub for only about $3-4! That's my kind of bath.
Yes - the price is/was heavily subsidized. Keeping the people drunk keeps them from protesting in the streets...
Yes - the price is/was heavily subsidized. Keeping the people drunk keeps them from protesting in the streets...
Sounds like Medvedev/Putin are doing a bang-up job over there. Yeah the class was pretty much all about how messed up things are over there right now (as I think the perception is for the most part its been smooth sailing since democracy swooped in to save the day) and what a monster Putin is. But I could never tell if it was quite as bad as my prof was letting on, as him being Ukrainian I assumed there was some natural anti-Russian sentiment.
Sounds like Medvedev/Putin are doing a bang-up job over there. Yeah the class was pretty much all about how messed up things are over there right now (as I think the perception is for the most part its been smooth sailing since democracy swooped in to save the day) and what a monster Putin is. But I could never tell if it was quite as bad as my prof was letting on, as him being Ukrainian I assumed there was some natural anti-Russian sentiment.
I couldn't stop laughing after the forklift/warehouse accident, followed by the excavator rowing the barge around!
Those were great. I loved the hammered dude crawling across the street and video of random stuff just collapsing.
Also, what kind of idiot kids just light themselves on fire and then hope the whole 'stop, drop and roll' just works? Not even a small bucket of water? A water bottle? Nothing?
__________________ The Beatings Shall Continue Until Morale Improves!
This Post Has Been Distilled for the Eradication of Seemingly Incurable Sadness.
If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a Fire Exit. - Mitch Hedberg
Khrushchev visited a pig farm and was photographed there. In a newspaper's office, a discussion is under way what should be the caption under the picture.
"Comrade Khrushchev among pigs," "Comrade Khrushchev and pigs," "Pigs around comrade Khrushchev," -- all is rejected. Finally the editor makes the decision. The caption is "The third from left - comrade Khrushchev."
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An aide says to Brezhnev, "Comrade General Secretary, you wear today one shoe black and the other brown."
"Yes," Brezhnev answers, "I've noticed it myself."
"Why didn't you change?"
"See, I went to change, but when I looked in the closet, there was also one shoe brown and the other black."
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Somebody knocks at the door of Brezhnev's office. Brezhnev walks to the door, sets glasses on his nose, fetches a piece of paper from his pocket and reads, "Who's there?"
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Once Stalin received a delegation of workers from the Urals. When the workers left, Stalin looked around for his pipe but did not see it. He called the Chairman of the KGB Lavrentiy Beria and said, "Lavrentiy Pavlovich, my pipe disappeared after the visit of those workers."
"Yes, Yosif Vissarionovich, I'll immediately take proper measures."
Ten minutes later, Stalin pulled out a drawer in his desk and saw his pipe.
He struck a match, puffed out a ring of smoke, and dialed Beria's number.
"Lavrentiy Pavlovich, my pipe's been found."
"What a pity," Beria said. "All of them have already confessed."
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Brezhnev gives a speech at a Party congress, and says, "Comrade, the Planning Committee reports that next year we'll have no meat. Your suggestions?"
The audience is silent. Then a lone voice from the audience sounds, "We'll work ten hours a day!"
Brezhnev continues, "The planning Committee reports that in two years we'll have no milk products. Your suggestions?"
The audience is silent, then the same voice sounds, "We'll work twelve hours a day."
Brezhnev continues, "The Planning Committee reports that in three years we'll have shortage of bread. Your suggestions?"
The same voice says, "We'll work day and night without rest."
Tears appear in Brezhnev's eyes. "Thank you, dear comrade for your patriotic initiative. Let me ask you, where do you work?"
"In a crematorium."
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During the war, Stalin discussed with Marshal Zhukov the plans for a new offensive. "What do you think, comrade Zhukov, what direction should we choose for the attack?"
"West, comrade Stalin."
"Go and think, comrade Zhukov!"
As Zhukov walked out, he muttered, "What a pig!"
Stalin's secretary Poskrebyshev overheard the Marshal and reported to Stalin. Zhukov was ordered back to Stalin's office.
"Whom did you have in mind when you said 'What a pig?' Stalin asked.
"Of course, I meant Hitler," Zhukov said.
"Then whom did you have in mind, comrade Poskrebyshev?" Stalin said.
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In a backyard of a house in Odessa, a sound of cannon fire is heard. Sara looks through the window. "Abram, what's that? Did they bring meat to the store?"
"No, it's only because Brezhnev arrived in Odessa."
In a while, the faraway cannons fire once again.
"Abram, do you hear? They brought meat to the store!"
"I told you, Brezhnev arrived."
"So what, did they miss him the first time?"
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Stalin was reanimated several years after his death. He walked the streets, and came to the conclusion that after his death everything went bad, the people forgot the proper order, started dressing in many different ways rather than the way prescribed by the Party, the discipline deteriorated, nobody cares about building communism. He walked into the Kremlin, and then straight into the room where the Politburo was in a meeting. All Politburo members jumped up, and were ready to fulfil everything the "Father of People" would deem proper.
"I have two suggestions," Stalin said. "The first is to shoot all the deputies of the Supreme Soviet. The second is to paint Lenin's tomb green."
One of the Politburo members asked diffidently, "Comrade Stalin, why green?"
"I knew there would be no objections to the first proposal," Stalin said.
In Soviet Russia...
Khrushchev, Brezhnev, Chernenko...
