My 2.5 year old won't go to bed

[GreenLantern]

There are so many resources out there in the world, but I've had the most success just talking to other parents in the past.

My boy is 2 and a half years old and it has become a struggle to get him to go to bed. Google reveals that it is common for 2 year olds to have a 'sleep regression' , which I thought we already experienced right after he turned 2. Back then he was just waking up a lot, crying in his crib, calling out for us. Right now it is actually a fight to get him into bed. He is literally kicking, screaming, wriggling, and doing whatever he can to get out of that situation.

It got to the point in his crib where he was jumping up and down on his mattress and basically clearing his waist over the top of the crib. I actually caught him falling out the one time I came in to check on him. At that point we decided to move to a big boy bed as I was worried for his safety.

So we transitioned him to the big boy bed about a week ago, its a Jeep and he loves it. But we still struggle to get him to go to bed.

It used to be so easy, he'd come up, drink a bottle, sit on our lap in the rocking chair and read 3 or 4 stories then just lay him down say good night, give him his stuff animal and bam he's out. We had this for over a year and it was amazing.

Then a switch just flipped, he got difficult, then better, and now extremely difficult. We've been weening him off the bottle, so that might be part of it, going down to half and watered down milk. He still uses a soother at night time, but not during the day. But he won't even come sit with me for story time, he hides in the room somewhere because he knows if he sits on my lap its going to lead to bed time.

We put him in the bed and he might be fine, laying there, but as soon as we lave the room hes up and at the baby gate we have on the door way yelling screaming and crying.

Just curious if others have gone through this and what they did to try and work through it. Most things I have experienced with babies was 'just wait' because they are always changing so fast, but this has been going on for months..

[Hockeyguy15]

I have no experience with it but I’m wondering if you have tried reading his bed time stories in his bed instead of the chair?

Our almost 3 year old has been giving us a hard time cooperating with a lot of stuff, he’s a big fan of making his own choices right now. We’ve started giving him stickers when he cooperates, and after 15 stickers he gets to buy a new book. It’s helped a bit, maybe it could work for your bed time routine?

[GirlySports]

I would start by reading to them. 2nd watch youtube together, something with storytelling. 3rd get those smoothing sounds audio podcasts.

Last resort. Bob Ross Joy of Painting. That puts me to sleep.

[Cheese]

Not sure how it works in today's times, but whiskey worked well for me! No, not for the kid, for me.
Seriously, we had the same show, and one day out of the blue an Anne Murray song came on the radio and bam, he fell asleep. Anne was both our nemesis and our savior!
I'd try music, start with death metal and work down to Anne Murray.

[SportsJunky]

Is he napping during the day? My boy never fought sleep time but my daughter was a challenge. We finally cutout nap time most days. That seemed to work.

[Hockeyguy15]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

I would start by reading to them. 2nd watch youtube together, something with storytelling. 3rd get those smoothing sounds audio podcasts.

Last resort. Bob Ross Joy of Painting. That puts me to sleep.

YouTube is a bad idea, it’s stimulating so it will likely make them fight to stay up more.

[afc wimbledon]

Originally Posted by Hockeyguy15

I have no experience with it but I’m wondering if you have tried reading his bed time stories in his bed instead of the chair?

Our almost 3 year old has been giving us a hard time cooperating with a lot of stuff, he’s a big fan of making his own choices right now. We’ve started giving him stickers when he cooperates, and after 15 stickers he gets to buy a new book. It’s helped a bit, maybe it could work for your bed time routine?

this, a thousand times this.

[Locke]

All I know is that Vinz Clortho wouldnt stand for this nonsense.

[calf]

We've had many sleep regressions with my now 4 year old. One thing that worked around that age was actually an earlier bedtime (even 15-20 minutes). It's possible he's overtired at this point and has that endless energy. In bed a bit earlier can help to miss getting to that point.

[Robo]

Kids suck at sleep I think that is just normal. Anyways it is with my kids 7, 4 and 3 they are just tiny sleep fighting a-holes

[Ace]

I overcame this with YouTube twinkle twinkle little star, and usually one other that I start playing with them in the bed; gets them comfortable. Then I’ll end the videos and if necessary lay on the floor beside the kid bed.

Some of the kids needed us to stay until they fall asleep then the inevitable sneak crawl out of the room, others just needed a few minutes of quiet and then were fine with goodnight and shut the door.

Unfortunately I find this makes me super tired, so that’s good or bad depending on your perspective.

[nfotiu]

I have a 13 year old that sucked at going to sleep since he was 2 and hasn't changed since. My 11 year old would fall asleep on his own without issue since he was 2, and is still the same now. We've tried everything possible with little success. Sorry!

[Locke]

Originally Posted by nfotiu

I have a 13 year old that sucked at going to sleep since he was 2 and hasn't changed since. My 11 year old would fall asleep on his own without issue since he was 2, and is still the same now. We've tried everything possible with little success. Sorry!

Everything?

"Hey...does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

[Cali Panthers Fan]

Oof. That OP sounds like a touch challenge, and I certainly don't know if this would work, but I'll give what I think is good advice.

Don't change too many things. You've made a lot of changes to the routine it sounds like including a different bed and weaning off a bottle. That's a lot to do at the best of times, never mind WHILE there is an active sleep regression. Kids need consistency and routine. Have a very clear routine that you start at the same time every day, and stick to it. Don't deviate. The pattern is what tells kids it's time to get sleep and go to bed.

Then, consistently tell the child what the expectation is for them and remind them of what will happen if they get out of bed. "Punishment" should be the removal of special treats or good things they normally get if they're behaved well.

Don't ask permission for anything, just set the rule and stick to it. Don't negotiate. Don't give extra things for disobedience. Don't read extra books or give any extra food or any other good things. That only reinforces the bad behavior. If the kid gets up immediately, don't say anything other than "it's time to go to sleep" to them and just put them back in bed. Do it as many times as you have to for them to stay in bed. Repeat as necessary if they get up for any reason.

It might be hard (really hard) for a week or so, but if you stick to a consistent pattern and don't reward bad behavior, the child usually gets it and gives up the game. That's my experience anyway.

[TheyCallMeBruce]

I have a 2.5 year old. Same problem. Here's how I solved mine:

I...wait, no I didn't solve anything. Nevermind.


Don't worry. They will eventually grow out of whatever it is they're doing. Every kid is different, so what works for one parent will likely not work for another. There's nothing you can do. Nothing. It is all meaningless.

[spetch]

We used a sleep consultant on our first baby and it immediately worked and has been great since.

Weebeedreaming.com is who we used.

My wife and her went through our schedules and how our baby was and she gave us a plan. Went from up every 2 hours to sleeping 8-10

[White Out 403]

We have the same issues. As a parent of a 3 and a 2 year old old I can easily sleep time is my greatest challenge. It's so hard to get in a routine with shift work and with holidays and visiting family. Everyone has had good suggestions so far but just wanted to throw in that you're not alone and it's hard.

[OldDutch]

I can only offer sympathy and understanding. Our kids never slept from birth. They still are on the lightest side of healthy sleeping at near 9 and near 6. Heck even up to a year ago it was common nightly for our 6 year old to wake up screaming like a toddler.

What can you do? We 2 things. My wife and I said no more kids. I physically made sure I couldn’t. Second wait a few years and when they wake up put them on ipad and go to bed.

I seriously don’t give a s@$t. I think I had PTSD from years of being shook awake nightly.

[spetch]

Double post

[OutOfTheCube]

Does he take naps or a single long nap during the day? Our oldest had trouble going to bed around the same age, we found we needed to cut his nap or it would be a fight every night. They'll be super cranky at night but it's worth it to get them to bed.

My current 2.5 year old goes down really easily so no help there (but he also wakes up really easily too).

Do you stay with the kid until he's all the way asleep, or try to bail while he's still awake? Try sticking around until you know he's for sure asleep.

And sometimes you just need to cut your losses too. We had quite a few nights just hanging out with a toddler until 10 or 11PM when they finally passed out from exhaustion. Then they'd be extra tired the next day and easier to put to bed that time.