Need advice please... ex-gf stuff!!

[CaptainCrunch]

Well if its a nose job, you could still seize it, all you need is a good set of scissors. and a jar of formaldehyde

[KTrain]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Well if its a nose job, you could still seize it, all you need is a good set of scissors. and a jar of formaldehyde

[CaptainYooh]

Originally Posted by Leapfrog

We have all made decisions in our past that we have later regretted. This is one for me, certainly.

Having to pay a debt incurred by another is embarassing. (and I suppose technically "incurred" by me... by the benefit is being soley enjoyed by her)

Sent you a PM.

[GGG]

Did she used to have an online profile and just disappeared or was she always a zero footprint person.

If she just disappeared you might actually get info from her family about when she disappeared.

[Dion]

[speede5]

Live and learn. There are lots of guys out there with way worse stories. I know that doesn't make you feel any better.

Make the minimum payments, try and explain to the creditor and maybe they will help you in some way.

Don't pay it off or refinance. Keep it just the way it is so if her situation improves she is still on the loan. She may pop up in time or she may feel remorse and pick up the payments.

Likely not but at least its on her credit bureau until its paid out. Extend that period as long as you can.

[photon]

What's the point of finding her I guess is my question. You could find her and get a judgment against her in small claims court, but that doesn't get you anything. You're just another creditor like whoever gave her the loan then, you'll have about as much success collecting as they did.

[stang]

Too bad it wasnt boobs. You could see about getting weekend visitation

[nfotiu]

Originally Posted by Leapfrog

We have all made decisions in our past that we have later regretted. This is one for me, certainly.

Having to pay a debt incurred by another is embarassing. (and I suppose technically "incurred" by me... by the benefit is being soley enjoyed by her)

It sucks, and definitely pretty crappy on her part. In the bigger picture though, I think there are a lot of us who would be pretty happy to be only left owing $8,000 coming out of a years long relationship.

[Muta]

Were they butt implants?

If so, *high five*

[troutman]

Originally Posted by photon

What's the point of finding her I guess is my question. You could find her and get a judgment against her in small claims court, but that doesn't get you anything. You're just another creditor like whoever gave her the loan then, you'll have about as much success collecting as they did.

Not sure how you could get a judgment. They both agreed to be fully liable for the debt. The creditor does not care who pays.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by photon

What's the point of finding her I guess is my question. You could find her and get a judgment against her in small claims court, but that doesn't get you anything. You're just another creditor like whoever gave her the loan then, you'll have about as much success collecting as they did.

Wanting to find her seems reasonable to me:

• Why are you defaulting?
• Are you aware of the effect it is having on me?
• Do you plan on paying me back? If so, when?
• Can we come up with a way to make this fair?
• Maybe even a "fata you" would feel good.

Like, if someone owed me money and I was concerned they weren't going to pay me, the first thing I'd want to do is talk to them about it. It'd be pretty weird for him to not want to speak with her.

[Flashpoint]

I’m sorry to be the one to say it, but you don’t have any wiggle room here.

You co-signed a deal because your girlfriend didn’t have the credit rating to get a loan on her own. The loaner didn’t want to give money to a risk factor. You agreed to do so and now are on the hook.

Tour best case is to try to negotiate down.

Finding her will most likely make things worse (think getting slapped with a restraining order for stalking). If she was a responsible person she doesn’t ghost you. If she cares about credit ratings she pays it off - clearly she doesn’t. This isn’t someone making good decisions. You can expect that to continue.

You made a lovestruck mistake. It happens. Work the numbers the best you can, and move on as fast as possible (like someone above said, the bank doesn’t want to send it to collections). Be thankful there aren’t kids involved or an extra zero left to pay.

Good luck to you.

[calf]

Originally Posted by Muta

Were they butt implants?

If so, *high five*

I'm guessing a tattoo. In which case, depending on where it is and what kind of shady people you know, maybe it could be repossessed?

[La Flames Fan]

Can I hijack this thread for a bit Leapfrog??

My ex has straight up said to a mutual person she's not going to repay me for a trip we took (where I paid all the upfront costs) and a couple months of rent I paid for her. It comes to roughly $4000.

The breakup was fairly seamless, no infidelity, no awful things, just two people who didn't work out together. She makes great money, has gone on two trips since the breakup (in November), has less expenses than I do...

It's not necessarily the money that I care about...it's the principle. I can't seem to reconcile it in my mind.

Any advice?

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by La Flames Fan

It's not necessarily the money that I care about...it's the principle. I can't seem to reconcile it in my mind.

Any advice?

This here is the problem. She doesn't have principles.



I have found that if you live your life without expectations (payback, attention, whatever it is you expect from someone in your life,) they will never disappoint you by not meeting them.

[troutman]

Originally Posted by La Flames Fan

Can I hijack this thread for a bit Leapfrog??

My ex has straight up said to a mutual person she's not going to repay me for a trip we took (where I paid all the upfront costs) and a couple months of rent I paid for her. It comes to roughly $4000.

The breakup was fairly seamless, no infidelity, no awful things, just two people who didn't work out together. She makes great money, has gone on two trips since the breakup (in November), has less expenses than I do...

It's not necessarily the money that I care about...it's the principle. I can't seem to reconcile it in my mind.

Any advice?

Made for Judge Judy.

[Nufy]

Originally Posted by La Flames Fan

Can I hijack this thread for a bit Leapfrog??

My ex has straight up said to a mutual person she's not going to repay me for a trip we took (where I paid all the upfront costs) and a couple months of rent I paid for her. It comes to roughly $4000.

The breakup was fairly seamless, no infidelity, no awful things, just two people who didn't work out together. She makes great money, has gone on two trips since the breakup (in November), has less expenses than I do...

It's not necessarily the money that I care about...it's the principle. I can't seem to reconcile it in my mind.

Any advice?

Judge Judy...

An added benefit is you get more screen time...

[La Flames Fan]

Originally Posted by Nufy

Judge Judy...

An added benefit is you get more screen time...

Judge Judy: F-List Celebrities

[Cecil Terwilliger]

Originally Posted by La Flames Fan

Judge Judy: F-List Celebrities

And worth about $1 billion.