Where to meet girls in Calgary (early 20s guys) -REPOST, WITH MORE INFO-

[metallicat]

I'm actually wondering if he took any of the good advice from when he posted this previously.

[troutman]

[surferguy]

If you write folk music have you considered busking? Perhaps that is a decent way to woo the available.

[TheScorpion]

Just take them out for chocolate milk!

[Otto-matic]

Originally Posted by zackhogan1994

I'm socially awkward (which you would never guess from typing... I'm VERY SOCIAL on the computer), so when we meet up.... they're shocked at how hard it can be for me to hold down a conversation.

That's going to be a big problem since you probably won't be conversing with a partner through texting or IM's. If you can't hold a conversation in real life you may be giving off the impression you're not interested and it makes it awkward for the other party.

Its something you'll need to work on.

[GirlySports]

volunteer! there numerous events around Calgary in the summer that you can volunteer, if interested let me know I can PM you a list.
Also, meetup.com has a lot of events that you can just show and meet people that have the same interests as you.

While you're there, you can find older women.

[northcrunk]

Get a part time job at Westjet/the airport. Tons of girls going through there all the time and working at Westjet is like the bachelor.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by zackhogan1994

Dads and comedians, PLEASE DO NOT comment. I want ACTUAL advice here.

Listen son, I reckon these are the exact people you want responding.


Dads clearly can talk to women, comedians can help you face to face game.

You should be begging more dads to comment.

[WhiteTiger]

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

Listen son, I reckon these are the exact people you want responding.


Dads clearly can talk to women, comedians can help you face to face game.

You should be begging more dads to comment.

I was thinking the same thing. If he's socially anxious/awkward and not a good small talker, he's looking for people who are good at that...dads and comedians are exactly the type he should be looking at. But I also remember my 20's, and you couldn't tell me anything. ;p

[activeStick]

Originally Posted by zackhogan1994

Hey, everyone!

I work at a warehouse from Monday to Friday, and I'm through using the apps, and it seems i don't hear a lot going on in Calgary much these days in the way of social events?

What's a good way to meet girls, and find ones to date, in Calgary on the weekends?

I am re-posting this.... because I feel it would be useful for me to add some more information.

HERE IS THAT MORE INFORMATION

I am 24, like I said. I only work, don't go to school, and it's pretty much get up, go to work, come home, go to bed: from Monday to Friday.

Saturday and Sunday... every weekend I say I'm gonna go make those two days count.... but I in turn find that very difficult to actually do.

I don't have huge social circles, and I find that when I have hooked up with a girl from a dating app, it doesn't work too well.

I'm socially awkward (which you would never guess from typing... I'm VERY SOCIAL on the computer), so when we meet up.... they're shocked at how hard it can be for me to hold down a conversation.

I have also, and this is a VERY IMPORTANT POINT, gotten along much better with older people than people my own age, so I find it hard to relate to them. They seem very immature to me, even to some extent: the friends I do have.

I have been diagnosed with ASD, so that's probably why.

And on the apps, I seem to often attract 18 or 19 year olds for some reason, which is odd. And the couple times I have met up with them, just too immature.

I'm into things like collecting vinyl records, and I love supporting Canadian music,

I am into craft beers, love them a lot.

I write folk music, often in the style of Stompin' Tom Connors, my Canadian idol.

I have a lot of very specific interests, and I just am a whiz at talking to girls online when I do get them, but in person I am often a wreck.

I don't know what to do.

Dads and comedians, PLEASE DO NOT comment. I want ACTUAL advice here.

I am looking to expand my social circles, and maybe find summer love this summer.

I say I'm gonna change things every year, but then they remain very similar.

I want to REALLY make this year the one I do something.

Where do I go to comfortably meet up, start conversations, etc?

People tell me go to Cowboy's or Knox, but I find those people too immature. Always have.

Anyone else had this struggle? I have a feeling the struggle is real.

I hope someone can read this and understand that, the struggle IS real.

I'm just looking for suggestions, for anyone who might know.

I hope my question makes sense.

Thanks!

Being socially awkward and unable to carry much of a conversation is going to make things challenging for you as you're apparently aware, but the good thing is, this can change simply through practice.

Try participating in more group activities that require conversation. You don't have to approach these meet ups as an opportunity to date someone, but the conversations with strangers will give you experience which will improve your ability to talk to women you meet in the future. Speed dating is something you should consider. You might completely bomb the first few, but you'll get better over time. Don't beat yourself up about not being successful to start. Think of your ability to be able to carry a conversation with a woman like your ability to pick up a new skill, like skating. You will suck at first but if you don't give up, you'll be good, maybe great, if you persist.

[PepsiFree]

Girls are highly overrated

[Locke]

Have you considered joining the Army?

[nik-]

I've heard some girls like cocaine dealers. You could try doing that.

[GullFoss]

Pro tips:

- most guys are terrible at "talking to girls". Yet most guys end up meeting someone. So you're obviously focused on the wrong thing.

- most guys end up dating their friends or meeting girls through their friends.

So rather than try to become good at "talking to girls" just stop trying to "talk to girls." Take the pressure off.

If you want to do well with girls, think about them as friends. So really the question you should be asking is "how do I make friends." The "friend zone" isn't a real thing after the age of 22ish. And girls will date anyone who makes them feel special and aren't creepy. So there is your road map. Make friends. Treat your friends well. Don't be creepy

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by PepsiFree

Girls are highly overrated

I don't know man, I couldn't be married to me.

[DoubleF]

Assuming OP does want serious advice, IMO, the best step is to start off NOT looking for a girl to date. The ulterior motive is just muddying the waters.

IMO, consider the following:

1. Stop trying to date and focus on your social interaction skills with guys and girls a like. Stop trying to "talk to girls", just "talk to people". In your case, it's kinda like trying to run a marathon without stretching and training first. There's plenty of options around the city for social interaction that you could join that relate to your interests such as music, movies etc. Try that first. I mean, maybe a first step is maybe trying to chat up co-workers at work.

2. Find people to chat with who can give you feedback on developing your socializing "posture". This often means find women who you won't be attempting to date, to just hang out as part of a bigger group or whatever, who can give you tips on how to be more socially welcoming. Yes, your ASD diagnosis might not help, but I'm certain not all individuals who have ASD have failed in finding a partner. In your case, maybe women who are in a relationship (ie: friend couples) might be able to help.

3. Once you start attempting to date, drop the checklist. It's either kinda skeezy as hell, or you're eliminating potential options because of dumb things right off the bat. Be willing to give anyone and everyone a blank slate to hang out. Afterwards, do a pros vs cons evaluation to see if the pros outweigh the cons in hanging out. Certain things that seem like deal breakers, really aren't. Checklists can eliminate reasonable candidates right off the bat.

4. Consider practicing interviews. A lot of the same interaction facets when trying to get a job are the same when engaging a new individual to interact with. I often tell people that an interview is like dating a company. Both sides are trying to get to know one another and see if they'd like to spend more time together. In the same vein, consider a part time job/hobby which requires significant human interaction. I once spoke with a friend who had performance anxiety relating to job interviews and was striking out for a significant period of time. I asked this friend to get a part time job (he didn't have a job at the time anyways) for a few weeks/months at something cashier related like Starbucks/Timmies/McD's/Superstore etc. to work on basic customer interaction. After they got used to the basics, to try and work on small talk. In the end, even though he wasn't getting offers, he told me he at least felt much more comfortable in interviews as compared to before.


Assuming you are serious about this and aren't going to stick with a method that hasn't been working for you so far, good luck.

[DuffMan]

Came across this on the internet today, thought you might be interested...

How to Talk to People, According to Terry Gross
The NPR host offers eight spicy tips for having better conversations.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/11/17/s...mid=tw-nytimes