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Old 05-12-2019, 05:37 PM   #5801
Rando
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The Boston Pizza I'm at has a fake Flames jersey framed
Don't go to Boston Pizza?
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Old 05-12-2019, 05:53 PM   #5802
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Originally Posted by OMG!WTF! View Post
My girlfriend sent the following text yesterday...."Mercedes GLA 250".



I was like "What?" Then "Was that text for someone else?" Then "OMG! Are you locked in the trunk of a Mercedes?" Then "Is GLA 250 the plate number?" Then, "OK I called the cops! We're coming for you baby" Then "Tell him you have triplet babies at home...That will humanize you...right now you're just a piece of meat...a soulless object...Humanize yourself!!!"



Then like a really long time later..."I was in the Chinook parking lot and saw a car I liked. A Mercedes GLA 250. I thought it would be good for the dog. What is wrong with you?"


I'm so not a car guy. But that was a pretty cryptic text.
I'm thanking this because I had to read it twice.
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Old 05-12-2019, 05:56 PM   #5803
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The Boston Pizza I'm at has a fake Flames jersey framed
Complain. They used to put fake cheese on their nachos until people complained.
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Old 05-12-2019, 06:18 PM   #5804
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Message from Kijiji: "Why are you selling this item?"

Seriously?



"To finish my perpetual motion prototype that kidnaps idiots and eternally kicks them over and over again in the mouth.

"It's stolen and I need to get rid of it quick"

"It's cursed and the fortuneteller told me that I had get it to you quickly. When do you want to meet for it?"
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Old 05-12-2019, 06:40 PM   #5805
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So I was gonna write a sappy and pretentious post on facebook praising first my mother, then my wife, on what amazing moms they are, which they quite possibly would never see...but then I came up with this incredible idea of just telling them in person!!! Amazing.
My favourites are the posts from women accompanied by a picture of them looking absolutely fabulous with make-up on point while their mom is in the background slightly out of focus looking a big daggy.

Also this from the local satire rag:

Local Girl Posts Heartfelt Mother’s Day Tribute To Mum She Refuses To Accept On Facebook

Quote:
Local social media over-sharer, Clare Pinnington (22) has posted an emotional tribute to her mum on several different channels this Mother’s Day.

It is believed that Clare’s write up about ‘the special woman in her life’ was so emotional and kindly-worded that many of her friends on social media initially thought that her mother had been diagnosed with a terminal illness.
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Unfortunately, Clare’s mum Janet will never know this, because Clare has still yet to accept her requests to connect on social media.

“She’s just so nosey!” says Clare, who has left her mum’s friend request in the backlogs for two years now.
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Old 05-12-2019, 08:20 PM   #5806
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--

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Old 05-12-2019, 08:21 PM   #5807
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Quote:
Originally Posted by White Out 403 View Post
The Boston Pizza I'm at has a fake Flames jersey framed
I was at a restaurant in Red Deer that had an Oilers jersey. I jokingly told the server I was offended by the garbage they chose to hang on their walls, got 10% off my bill.
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Old 05-14-2019, 02:29 PM   #5808
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Evergreen couple fed up with neighbour's 60-hive bee colony
https://calgaryherald.com/news/local...69W2QN5xbBLmmI

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Old 05-14-2019, 02:39 PM   #5809
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Evergreen couple fed up with neighbour's 60-hive bee colony
https://calgaryherald.com/news/local...69W2QN5xbBLmmI

Holy christ that would piss me off. Not just the loss of enjoyment of my yard, but the eyesore as well. What a prick of a neighbour.
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Old 05-14-2019, 02:42 PM   #5810
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As someone with a pretty good fear of bees, I would lose my mind.

Well first I would put out about 1000 bee traps (or pay someone to do it since I wouldn't go outside), then I would lose my mind.
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Old 05-14-2019, 02:44 PM   #5811
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The article says the official beekeepers of the world or whatever don’t suggest more than a max of four hives in the city and that knob has 60? What a butthole.
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Old 05-14-2019, 02:46 PM   #5812
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The article says the official beekeepers of the world or whatever don’t suggest more than a max of four hives in the city and that knob has 60? What a butthole.

The story says he moves them to a farm in Airdrie each year in late May, but still . . .
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Old 05-14-2019, 02:47 PM   #5813
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The first sting, anger. The first sting for my daughter, severe anger. The second sting for either one of us, and I'd spend about a grand buying 100 cans of RAID, and be up on a ladder by the fence in my arctic suit, killing the F out of those hives.
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Old 05-14-2019, 02:49 PM   #5814
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I'd string up so many bug zappers that it would look like a fourth of July fireworks display
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Old 05-14-2019, 02:51 PM   #5815
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Wow. If that's what their back yard looks like, I can't imagine what their farm looks like.
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Old 05-14-2019, 03:05 PM   #5816
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I like bee hives, but in the city? Screw that
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Old 05-14-2019, 03:20 PM   #5817
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I like bee hives, but in the city? Screw that
In the city, it's fine. The problem with the moron above is that he has 60 unkempt hives in the middle of his backyard.

Pretty sure the externality effect of 4 hives would be about nil.
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Old 05-14-2019, 03:23 PM   #5818
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Is this something bylaw deals with, or would it fall to fish and wildlife?
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Looks like you'll need one long before I will. May I suggest deflection king?
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Old 05-14-2019, 03:41 PM   #5819
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https://www.calgary.ca/CSPS/ABS/Page...ices/Bees.aspx

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The City of Calgary does not have jurisdiction over bees or beekeeping. This is governed by the Provincial Bee Act. The Bee Act provides guidelines regarding the collection, care and registration of bees. For questions about beekeeping, please visit the Alberta Apiculturist website or the Calgary & District Beekeepers Association.
The Tort of Nuisance:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuisance_in_English_law
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Old 05-14-2019, 03:44 PM   #5820
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Guidelines for Safe Urban Beekeeping in Calgary
https://www.calgarybeekeepers.com/wp..._July_2017.pdf

As a general guideline, keep no more than two hives on a property that is less than 550 square metres (a standard 50x120 foot lot in Calgary), and no more than four on lots larger than 550 square metres within the city
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