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Old 09-13-2020, 03:23 PM   #1
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St Louis falls in exhibition play to Avs

St Louis Time Picayuuuune (AP) - St Louis GM CaptainCrunch was left fuming and St Louis coach Bronco Nagurski the third was left with a waffle iron shaped bruise on his face that he refused to address as the Blues dropped their opening night game to the Avs 5-3.

The Blues were lead by defenseman Scott Mayfield who scored two goals on the Powerplay in the first. John Tavares scored in the second period, but the Blues were not able to stop the Avs from scoring 4 goals including a empty net goal on 25 shots.

Anti Raata turned aside 20 shots out of 24 was scene sobbing as he slowly ate his plain vanilla ice cream because of the Blues new team philosophy that only winners can have sprinklers.

Nagurski was quiet about the waffle bruise on his face but was pointed in his critisims of his goalie and his forwards.

"Frankly they sucked. We have all of these guys getting paid big bucks to put the puck in the net. Meanwhile the guy that's suppossed to stop pucks looked like he was chasing butterflies all over the crease. We have to be better, our goal is to follow the three rules of the Blues" Then he pointed to a painted sign of the Blue's locker room.

The Blues three rules

To crush our enemies
See them driven before us
To hear the Lamentations of their woman

During his press conference when asked about his coaches new bruise he mentioned that it accidentally happened while he was talking to the coach about the loss while making breakfast.

"The bottom line is that we have a high expectation of our coaches and players. a lot of players and coaches didn't live up to their responsibilities tonight. We will get better starting tomorrow against the Wild or else"

Off Sides

Minor League forward Pontus Aberg was seen selling popcorn an programs because he's just awful.
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Old 09-13-2020, 07:17 PM   #2
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Game 2 Preview


St Louis 0-1-0 Minnesota 0-0-0


  • St Louis coming off a 5-3 loss to Colorado
  • Scott Mayfield led the way with 2 goals but was -2
  • Aanti Raanta made 20 saves out of 24 shots for a .837 svpct
Tonights lines


Landeskog-RNH-Stone
Pearso-Tavares-Archibald
Garland-Bonino-Brown
Haula-Miller-Perry


Graves-Karlsson
Maatta-Mayfield
Holden-de Haan
Pateryn


Demko gets the start in net.
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Old 09-14-2020, 02:37 PM   #3
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Feeling the Blues after a Wild Crushing

St Louis Picayuuune (AP)


The Blue's newly built lineup continued to dissapoint as they fell to the Wild in a lacklustre 5-1 trouncing last night.


"That was ugly, I've been called into another meeting with CaptainCrunch but I really don't want to go" stated head coach Bronco Nagurski while blinking "Help me" in morse code with his eye lids.


"The forwards were awful, the defense was awful, I don't know if I can blame Demko as he was left out high and dry all night"


The Blue's allowed 2 goals in just over 2 minutes in the first period before climbing back into the game with a shot from the point by Erik Karlsson. From there it was all Wild though as the Blue's went down without a fight.


"The forwards have been utter garbage in the first two games scoring 1 goal out of the 4 goals that the team as scored and Scott Mayfield is the teams leading goal scorer for Christ sakes" CaptainCrunch stated after the game.


"This team literally has to get its thumb out of its butt and start playing hockey. I get its the exhibition season, but there's no magic switch that just makes a team play up to its potential."


Team Captain John Tavares was equally despondent after the game as he stood in a quiet dressing room "This is on me and the players, we haven't found our rythm yet, but its the exhibition season and we're trying to find chemistry"


What made it worse was GM CaptainCrunch was even more angry about the loss of his waffle iron which was damaged during a cooking accident.


"Yeah, me and Bronco are going to go play a round of golf this morning and have a chat about the results"


Off Sides


Ryan Graves continues to lead the way in ice time for defensemen playing 25:14 minutes and leading the way with 6 hits.


Pontus Aberg continues to try and show that he's useful as he was seen cleaning the grease trap in the executive kitchen.
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Old 09-16-2020, 11:55 AM   #4
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Game 5 Preview St Louis (0-2) against Nashville.


Coach Bronco Nagurski missed the first 10 minutes of practice after "falling up the stairs and onto a golf club.


Assistant Coach Nathan Daniels III skated the following line combinations


Landeskog-Tavares- Stone
RNH- Miller - Brown
Pearson - Bonino - Archibald
Garland - Haula - Perry


KArlsson - Maatta
Holden-Mayfield
Graves - de Haan


Raanta
Shesterkin


Spare forward

Aleksi Heponiemi


The pressure is on to play better and secure a win, Team Captain Mark Stone was seen pinning Pontus Aberg to the wall and threatening him with his life if he didn't fold the towels properly.
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Old 09-17-2020, 08:35 AM   #5
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Blues cage the Predators

St Louis Times Picayuune (AP)


"Finally" was the word most commonly heard in the dressing room as mecurial GM CaptainCrunch was held at bay as the Blue's edged the Predators 3-1 last night.


After falling behind 1 to 0 on a Predators goal Bryan Rust, the Blues exploded for 3 goals in the second period with Mark Stone leading the way with 2 and Nick Holding sniping the other one.


Antti Raanta was solid turning aside 31 of 32 shots.



"Thank god" a nervous looking Bronco Nagurski stated "I couldn't take another meeting with the GM."


"Overall it was a better effort, but wasn't close to a perfect effort. We have a lot of work to do, we'll let the guys enjoy this for another 6.8 seconds and then get back at it."


Off Sides


Pontus Aberg received some rare praise from GM CaptainCrunch last night "He's got a real eye for detail when it came to changing the air filters in my house, he did a passable job"
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Old 09-17-2020, 09:05 AM   #6
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Game 4 Preview - Blues vs the Dirty rotten stinkin Wild


After coming off of a solid 3-1 win against the Preds the Blue's take on another division rival in the Wild who trounced the Blue's in game 2.


St Louis dresses a veteran lineup however shockingly Pontus Aberg checks into the lineup. Prospect goalie Igor Sjesterkin leaves the lab to take the crease.


Landeskog - Tavares - Stone
RNH - Miller - Brown
Bonino - Pearson - Archibald
Aberg - Haula -Garland


Karlsson - Graves
Maatta - Mayfield
Holden - de Haan
Gilmour


Shesterkin
Demko


Other notes


With Aberg in the lineup Greg Payeryn will done the white apron as a waiter in the executive club.
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Old 09-18-2020, 08:46 AM   #7
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St Louis ensnares the Wild

St Louis Picayuuuune (AP)

Lead by a strong effort by rookie goaltender Igor Shesterkin, the Blues edged the Wild 3-2. The Blues exploded for 3 goals in under 4 minutes at the start of the second period to salt the game away and coasted to a win.

Mark Stone 2 goals and Tavares added another, Gabriel Landeskog stretched his 4 game points streak as the first line continues to find chemistry.

On another note Resident Dog house . . . errr Resident Pontus Aberg received his shot last night and achieved nothing, and this was noted by GM CaptainCrunch after the game.

"There are several toilets that need unplugging, but it shouldn't bother Pontus because he already reeks of failure."

The Blue's continue their exhibition season with a game against the Predators tonight.

Off Sides

Its rumored that Coach Nagurski is liking Shersterkin in the battle of the young goalies and might be willing to move a goalie or two to free up crease space.
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Old 09-18-2020, 08:52 AM   #8
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Game 5 preview St Louis against Nashville


St Louis continues to try out young players as center Lukas Vejedmo checks in on the 5th line and defenseman Louie Belpedio. Pontus Aberg and John Gilmour step out.


The first line has shown some good chemistry and the blue line continues to spark the offense as Ryan Graves put up 2 assists last night.
Cory Perry will sit out his second game in a row



Lines


Landeskog - Tavares - Stone
RNH - Miller - Brown
Pearson - Bonino - Archibald
Vejdemo - Haula - Garland


Karlsson - Graves
Maata - Mayfield
Holden - De Haan
Belpdeio


Raanta
Shesterkin
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Old 09-23-2020, 02:44 PM   #9
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What? No article on Pontus Aberg's 27th birthday?
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Old 09-23-2020, 04:05 PM   #10
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We chose not to acknowledge it.



Actually that's a lie, we scraped the inside of the freezer and gave him an unflavored snocone.
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Old 09-24-2020, 10:13 AM   #11
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St Louis closes in on final roster


St Louis Time Picayuuuuune (AP)


With 4 games left int he preseason, the Blues are more about finding chemistry then finding the surprise training camp prospect.



The Blues started 0-2 sparking a sense of panic and repeated beatings of head coach Bronco Nagurski, but since then the team has gone 4-0-1, leading more to questions of who plays where then who's job has been lost.


The next 4 games are all about finalizing lines, defense pairings and the competition for the starting goaltenders slots between Demko and Raanta.


"Defensively we are not where we are at, we've allowed just over 3 goals a game in 7 games while scoring 3 goals a game offensively." stated Nagurski after last nights 4-3 OT loss to the pesky Columbus Blue Jackets. When we look at production, the top line of Tavares, Stone and Landeskog has been good with 10 goals and 21 points in 7 games. We're more concerned with the other lines, and we'll play with those. Obviously we'd like to see RNH being more productive as well as Brown on the second line, we'll have to play with that a bit.


The most positive news is that the Blues are getting good production from the Blueline with all of the Blueliners generating points. Also with the exception of last night the special teams have been very good.


Goaltending wise, Raanta has been solid, and Demko has had a bad outing, but Hunter Miska struggled last night and is likely to be sent back to the farm.


"We didn't have anyone step up in their auditions from the farm. Aberg sucked but we expected that from him, and the others didn't step up so we're going to focus more on finding line combinations that work"


The preseason continues tonight.
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Old 09-25-2020, 11:21 AM   #12
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Hawks feel the Blues


St Louis Picayuuune (AP)


Rivalry games are the most important measuring stick in any sport. Can your team get up to play and compete with the added preasure and hatred of a rival. Last nights game between the Black Hawks pointed in a direction of Yes . . . .yes we can.


In a tightly contested game the Blue's eaked out a 3-2 win on the back of a strong performance by Nick Bonino who scored a goal and added 2 assists. Tanner Pearson scored the winner and his second goal of the game with less then 5 minutes left in the third.


"This game definately had a big game feel to it" Coach Nagurski stated in his post game presser, "and we had a lot of players step up".


The Blue's penalty kill was good as well killing 6 of 7 penalties and the Hawks were the more physical team with 27 hits to 23 hits by the Hawks.


"Am I concerned with dicipline? Absolutely, but at the same time, our penalty kill has been very good so far, so I don't see a problem with pushing the edge on physical plays and the occasional cheap shot to get our point across. The Blue's ain't messing around."


Raanta was outstanding as well turning aside 29 of 30 shots including some dangerous chances by Vincent Trocheck.



The Blue's are 4-0-1 since they staggered out of the gate with a 0-2 record


Off sides


Pontus Aberg came out of the lineup last night "We want to really take advantage of Pontus' special skills" stated GM CaptainCrunch "And the Zamboni needed a oil change and Aberg is passable at that"
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Old 09-28-2020, 07:54 PM   #13
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RNH moves to the sunny coast

St Louis Times Picayuune (AP)

With the pre season winding down, St Louis GM Captain Crunch say two key issues. The first was that the team was weak down the Right Side offensively. The second was that the power play was floundering with a 14.29% stat line.

So while the decision to trade RNH was difficult, it was somewhat expected especially with RNH struggling with only 3 assists and a -3 rating in the preason.

In return the Blue's pick up 24 year old Right Wing Sniper Timo Meier who will automatically take a top 6 role on the second line with Tanner Pearson stepping up to the Left Wing Slot and JT Miller Center.

"It was tough to move RNH, he's popular in the locker room and a better person then Pontus Aberg. But we really needed to balance things out and get some offense from the second line"

CaptainCrunch also looked ahead to the second line.

"Miller, Pearson and Meier are all good on the forecheck and they're all good scorers, plus Miller and Pearson are both really good at all ends of the ice which should allow Timo to take some chances"

In terms of the power play going forward.

"Meiers will probably sit on the second unit, but we might try him on the first unit to mix things up. Overall this move also gives us some cost certainty going forward as RNH was at the end of his contract, and Meiers is in the first year of his deal"

This deal also takes a step in fixing the future "A second round pick is a good pick to have going into the draft, and I needed to move a lot of picks to fix this team and give the fans a strong fun product, now we can start looking forward"
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Old 10-02-2020, 12:49 PM   #14
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St Louis ready to roll into the regular season


St Louis Times Picayuune (AP)

With one game left in the regular season, the St Louis Blues took the logical step and named their game one roster and lines today.

"The last preseason game should be a final tune up" stated GM CaptainCrunch while eating a delicious burrito from Taco Time (Product Placement). "While we weren't super pleased with the preseason, we think that we're ready to go forward".

Expectations are high for the Blues, The new GM came in and tore the team apart, building it with a new emphasis on strong defensive play, and a counter punching offense. Assistant GM Sonny Weaver Jr felt confident "The Cleveland Browns are ready to roll, all we need is a coach".

This is a veteran team, with an average age of of 28.4 years old, and a lot of players in the last year of their RFA contract who will be looking for big deals next. That makes the expectation that this is a win now team.

Lead by a strong first line of Taveres, Landeskog and Captain Mark Stone and a bulky positionally strong blueline, this is a team that should have a good chance of winning every night, with the expectation that they should be fighting for a Championship.

With 1 game left in the preseason the Blue's have a mediocre 6-4-1 record while averaging 3 goals a game, and allowing slightly more then 3 goals a game. they had a mediocre powerplay at 17.6% and a moderate 84.5% PK.

There were casualties as recent acquisition RNH struggled in the preseason and was promptly traded for Timo Meier who scored in his Blue's debut.

At the end of the day, there were very few surprises in terms of the final roster.

Sent to the AHL

Aleksi Heponiemi, Dylan Coghlan, John Gilmour, Louis Belpedio, Lukas Vejdemo, Mikey Eyssimont, Pontus Aberg, Ryan McLeod, Daniel Brickley, Hunter Miska, Jacob Middleton, Otto Somppi.

When asked if anyone stood out Coach Bronco Nagurski was honest "Not really, Dylan played pretty well in his shots. We're really going to miss Pontus . . . not"

Released from their contracts.

D Grant Hutton
C Sergei Shumikov

That leaves the final lineup

Landeskog, Tavares, Stone
Miller, Pearson, Meier
Brown, Archibald, Archibald
Garland, Haula, Perry

Karlsson Graves
Maatta, Mayfield
de Haan, Holden
Pateryn

Raanta
Demko.

Camp Positives. Miller, Stone, Ladeskog and Karlsson were all very good in the preason so far, Miller and Stone and Landeskog were all point a game, while Karlsson has lead defenesmen with 10 points in 11 games.

Disappointments - Connor Garland struggled and was held off of the scoresheet, Raanta was not great in the preseason and will likely platoon evenly with Demko.
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Old 10-03-2020, 07:53 AM   #15
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awesome Cap!
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Old 10-14-2020, 12:27 PM   #16
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Blues off to a good start, GM isn't happy

St Louis Daily Shopper (AP) - Though the St Louis Blues have leapt out to a 3-1-1 start, to the season, GM CaptainCrunch doesn't sound like a man that's overly satisfied.

"Its a nice record, and I'm happy to see some success, but I'm still thinking of opportunity lost in the first two games. when I look at teams like the Islanders and Sabres who are off to undefeated starts, it makes you question the validity of the universe"

Though the Blue's knocked off the Conference Leading Blackhawks last night 4-2, and Mayfield beat down Goodrow, Crunch is adament that the Blue's have to be better every night to compete in a tough Western Conference.

"The team has a ways to go in finding its identity. We wanted to be the team that limited chances and counter punched well, and speaking of counterpunching I'm late for a meeting with Coach Nagurski".

Over all things seem to be going in the right direction, beyond Raanta being stellar in the last two games that included a shut out of the Wild, he was very good against the rival Blackhawks stopping 31 of 33 shots.

The Blue's have outshot every opponent they have played so far, have a productive powerplay in the last 3 games and are top 10 in penalty killing.

From a individual perspect the top line has been very product as Miller, Landeskog and Stone have combined for 15 points and 4 goals in 5 games, while the second line of Meiers, Tavares and Garland have put up 19 points and 7 goals.

On the blueline Olli Maatta has been a surpise with 2 goals and 2 assists to lead the way.

Raanta has been solid in the last three games to recover from a awful first game where he got blown out.

On the injury front, Nick Holden is expected to miss another 3 games with a sprained finger. Coach Nagurski classified it as a "Stupid injury that he should rub some dirt on and get back out on the ice"

Behind the net

John Tavares has been stellar on the second line scoring 5 goals and 9 points in the first 5 games while leading the team with a +7 rating.

Scott Mayfield had the teams first fight last night thumping Goodrow of the Hawks.

Timo Meiers has been a positive addition with his 7 assists, 17 hits and a + 2 rating, while RNH who was traded to Anaheim leads his team in scoring with 2 goals and 3 assists in a rare win win trade for both teams.

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Old 10-14-2020, 02:05 PM   #17
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I can hardly wait for the Sims fave 10 game slide! Bronco will go ballistic!
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Old 11-01-2020, 10:03 AM   #18
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The Blue's round up

St Louis Time Picayune (AP) - "This isn't the team that I thought we would have" stated GM Crunch in his weekly presser. "Maybe I made a mistake in trading Stone, but at the end of the day, that's on me, the team still needs to play".


From shaky goaltending to a poor Power Play, the Blue have badly stumbled out of the gate with a 5-8-1 record that have left them out of a playoff spot and in 11th in the West three points out of 8th.


"We're getting scoring. But our goaltending hasn't been great. Demko f'd the football last night in our latest debacle, and Mzarek isn't winning games".


In terms of the new aquisition Blake Wheeler "He hasn't been anything to write home about. He's on a line with studs and he's not all that productive. Our bottom 6 really isn't doing much later. The defense that I built up to limit chances has fallen off of the rails."


His warning was ominous "I can only mentor Bronco for so long, and by mentor I mean punch in the face".


When asked with changes are coming, Crunch announced that he had sent 7th defenseman Greg Pataryn to the Caps for Brett Kulak. "I like Greg, he looked good in his game action, but I don't want to eat that much cap space on a 7th defenseman. Brett's young and should be a better fit there."


"In terms of other changes, sure, I'm open to it, but I'm not making changes to make changes. If I move one of my top players, it has to make sense to me and the team moving forward."


John Tavares was equally disturbed "We have to work way harder then we do, talent doesn't win when talent doesn't work hard, period. We all have to take a look in the mirror and decide what kind of hockey team we want to be."


Ice Chips - Crunch all but confirmed that there was interest in Tavares, but he hasn't seen a deal that he's really liked yet. He'd still like to look at maybe moving Erik Karlsson who has been decent but more's expected. It might only be so long before Crunch loses patience with his goaltending.

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Old 12-03-2020, 05:03 PM   #19
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Changes Chase away the Blues


St Louis Times Picayuune (AP) - CaptainCrunch has never been a patient man, and he's showed that in his short time as the GM of the St Louis Blues, but maybe its time for him to show a little.

With the team struggling out of the gate, you can't say that he was anything but bold, turning over a large part of his forward group, and doing multiple goalie swaps. But things seem to have stabilized. The Blues have gone from awful to explosive racking up a 7-3 record in the last 10 games and climbing back to within a game of .500 and have started to climb towards a playoff spot, with just 5 points separating them from a possible playoff berth.

You can say a lot about CaptainCrunch, he's mercurial and argumentative, he can be bull headed and opinionated, he's an artist, a savant and a master of Karate, but you can't say that he is timid or hesitant.

With a newly reconstructed forward group that's strong down the middle and fairly deep, there's not one player that stands out in terms of carrying play as the team tends to score by committee. On defense, Mark Giodano has bought a veteran leadership to the group and Tory Krug has helped improve the powerplay.

But the biggest changes are in goal as Raanta gave way to Mrazek who gave way to MAF who has been exceptional since he arrived in St Louis. With a .924 svpct a 2.21 gaa and 2 shutouts in the 9 games since he's arrived here, he's given the Blues stellar goaltending and made the big saves when he needed it.

With the last two trades which were minor and more about moving players out that had lost their spots in Eric Haula and Corry Perry its time for Crunch to maybe sit back and see what happens.

Of course there are some serious questions, most of the roster are on short term deals so free agency could become a concern, the other question is depth, if a forward goes down can any of the kids on the farm step in without hurting the team?

While the Blue's lineup in not old, any kind of great fresh blood is probably a couple of seasons away, but its time for Crunch to settle down and see what happens and if he's hit on a formula that works.
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