10-04-2010, 02:44 PM
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#1
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Scoring Winger
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Nice try, NSA
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Advice?
I am hoping you folks can provide me with some advice.
I have seen a lot of bad stuff in my time. I mean literally horrible stuff that I will not describe here in detail, partly through work and partly through personal life. It’s effected my personal relationships a lot. I have, through a slow and painful process, lost pretty much everyone close to me.
The only woman I ever loved left me at the altar on our wedding day. Her last words to me were “Seriously, if you get the chance to eat an orange, do it!” It was like a non sequitur response that sums my life up perfectly. That is the last thing I heard from the woman I devoted 5 years of my life toward. Nothing makes sense. I have been unable to recover from that situation and my life has not been the same since. I have not been in a relationship since.
I find myself ever more distant from the people that surround me every day. I am caught in a maelstrom and can’t get out. I know I should not turn to strangers on the internet for advice, but I turn to you, CP. What can I do to change things around? How can I learn to trust again?
I need your advice and help. I can’t stand the mockery I seem to face at every turn.
Last edited by Crazy Bacon Legs; 10-04-2010 at 04:04 PM.
Reason: For effect
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10-04-2010, 02:49 PM
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#2
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: CGY
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__________________
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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10-04-2010, 02:50 PM
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#3
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Powerplay Quarterback
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Bacon Legs
Seriously, if you get the chance to eat an orange, do it!
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The Following User Says Thank You to Orange For This Useful Post:
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10-04-2010, 02:51 PM
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#4
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Not sure
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Funny fail
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10-04-2010, 02:55 PM
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#6
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: CGY
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__________________
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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10-04-2010, 02:56 PM
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#7
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First Line Centre
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This is a big step backwards in the funny department from the magic stick story.
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The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Hanni For This Useful Post:
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10-04-2010, 03:02 PM
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#8
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Scoring Winger
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Nice try, NSA
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Thanks for the input, I guess.
Last edited by Crazy Bacon Legs; 10-04-2010 at 04:05 PM.
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10-04-2010, 03:04 PM
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#9
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Crash and Bang Winger
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"Of all the idiots, in all the idiot villages, in all the idiot worlds, you stand alone, my friend."- Michael Scott
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10-04-2010, 03:20 PM
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#10
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Waterloo, Ontario
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hmmm...whats that smell? It smells like antiperspirant...Ban?
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10-04-2010, 03:22 PM
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#11
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Norm!
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I thought it was cute, it was no magic stick thread, but the effort was there.
Look Dog, after your first performance you set a fairly high standard, now you're trying too hard. Just be yourself.
That was absolutely ghastly, there's nothing more to be said, it was really really terrible. I'd expect a better performance out of my daughters preschool play.
So then I says to him, if you want your money, you're gonna have to come and get it you big balony. You make me wanna retch.
Thump zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to CaptainCrunch For This Useful Post:
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10-04-2010, 03:23 PM
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#12
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Franchise Player
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i don't think I have ever mentioned this, but my cat's breath smells exactly like cat food.
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10-04-2010, 03:26 PM
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#13
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Norm!
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Its even funnier, because my cats breath smells like yo mamma.
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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10-04-2010, 03:32 PM
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#14
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Crash and Bang Winger
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch
Its even funnier, because my cats breath smells like yo mamma.
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I like cats, what can I say.
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The Following User Says Thank You to YourMother For This Useful Post:
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10-04-2010, 03:43 PM
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#15
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: 127.0.0.1
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oranges really grind my gears.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DuffMan
pulling apart an orange and it squirts on my screen or keyboard, or eye
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch
And pulling apart an orange is a substitute phrase for?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DuffMan
masterbating to internet porn
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__________________
Pass the bacon.
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10-04-2010, 03:48 PM
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#16
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#1 Goaltender
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: An all-inclusive.
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I like oranges as well, but you don't see me bragging about it.
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10-04-2010, 03:59 PM
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#17
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Lifetime Suspension
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: On my metal monster.
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"Cocaine is a helluva drug"
- Rick James
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The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to alltherage For This Useful Post:
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10-04-2010, 04:23 PM
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#20
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In my office, at the Ministry of Awesome!
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Wow, I thought this thread was stupid before, now it's gone to a whole new level.
__________________
THE SHANTZ WILL RISE AGAIN.
 <-----Check the Badge bitches. You want some Awesome, you come to me!
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