Edmonton is No Good VIII: There's Still Something in the Water!

[TheIronMaiden]

The Oilers must be pretty close to being the oldest team in the NHL.

[Robbob]

I just realized that they still have't signed Bear.

[Bingo]

Is there a sort by age on CapFriendly, or did you guys just go in team by team? Assuming the latter as I couldn't find the former.

[Reggie Dunlop]

Blocked by Staples, but there's a recent story about the 89% probability of Evan Bouchard becoming a NHL superstar....

No point in rounding it up to 90%. The key here is mathematical accuracy!

https://edmontonjournal.com/sports/h...nalyst-reckons

[FBI]

It must be preseason with all the oilers hype articles coming out!

[Robbob]

I thought the general consensus was that Broberg past Bouchard?

[MrMike]

What’s a Bear contract going to look like for them I wonder.

[Textcritic]

Originally Posted by Bingo

Such a strange cultural phenomenon in Edmonton when bad news comes in.

Rush to say it's not bad news!

https://twitter.com/user/status/1341288041130774528

So, here are David Staples's "top five reasons" why Darnell Nurse will not suck:

1. He’s as ready as he’ll ever be ... After years of frustrating disappointment it is about god-damn time that Nurse doesn't suck.

2. He’s got something to prove ... Nurse sucked so hard in the playoffs last year that surely he will now play competent top-pair minutes as a result.

3. He’s competing for a massive new contract ... In 2022.

5. He’s already faced tough competition. ... One of the key reasons that Nurse sucks so much is that he already plays the toughest minutes on the Oilers blueline. So ... ... profit?

Originally Posted by David Staples

"Add it all up and Nurse, if healthy, should be primed to play his best NHL hockey."

Those of us who can add will immediately notice that this amounts to only four nonsensically conjectural points, and that adding the digit "5" to the final one does not somehow produce five reasons.

David Staples is no good.


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[Wastedyouth]

Darnell Nurse had/has all the tools to be a pretty damn good player.

He was Oiler'd from the get go. Too much responsibility and expectations to have any time to continue to learn the game and get better.

He's just paddling so hard out there to keep his head above water, no one has thought to teach him how to actually swim.

The Oiler's are embarrassing, haha.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by Wastedyouth

Darnell Nurse had/has all the tools to be a pretty damn good player.

He was Oiler'd from the get go. Too much responsibility and expectations to have any time to continue to learn the game and get better.

He's just paddling so hard out there to keep his head above water, no one has thought to teach him how to actually swim.

The Oiler's are embarrassing, haha.

I'm sorry the guy has the hockey IQ of a rock, he's basically Denis Gauthier with better skating and a better shot. He's got the Phaneuf stupidity factor in his own zone, and he's a fairly selfish player.



If you have Nurse as your top pairing guy, you have a underwhelming blueline.

[UKflames]

So in 4 out of 5 reasons he sucked but that now means he will be brilliant �� Oilers logic in full effect.

[topfiverecords]

They're going to have another dynasty now that they have the next Pronger, Niedermayer and Lidstrom coming up the ranks.

[flamingred89]

Originally Posted by Robbob

I thought the general consensus was that Broberg past Bouchard?

He did. So that's means Broberg has a 76% chance of becoming a mega super awesome superstar.

[TheIronMaiden]

Originally Posted by TheIronMaiden

The Oilers must be pretty close to being the oldest team in the NHL.

The Oilers average age according to cap friendly

23 man roster ( assuming bear gets signed)
average age 27.7

15 forwards
average age 27.1

6 D Men ( assuming bear gets signed)
average age 26.8

2 Goaltenders
average age 35


EDIT: upon further inspection, the average age is not much higher than the rest of the league. What is remarkable, is the number of forwards over the age of 30. As it stands right now the Oilers will skate 4 forwards over the age of 30. The only other teams with more are Washington and Anaheim with 5 and Detroit/ Islanders with 6!.

[Textcritic]

Originally Posted by UKflames

So in 4 out of 5 reasons he sucked but that now means he will be brilliant �� Oilers logic in full effect.

Four out of four reasons, but if you are an idiot like David Staples who struggles mightily with the basic concept of counting from one to five, then it is five out of five.

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[Reggie Dunlop]

Originally Posted by flamingred89

He did. So that's means Broberg has a 76% chance of becoming a mega super awesome superstar.

There's some sort of metric rating an Oilers' "Schrempature" surely?

[Firebot]

Speaking of bad David Staples predictions, down memory lane.

https://edmontonjournal.com/sports/h...ears-realistic

it’s reasonable to expect the Oilers wouldn’t win their first Cup for about four or five seasons. The upper end of MacLean’s prediction is more likely.

It’s easy to get ahead of ourselves in Edmonton and start counting up Cup wins, but a lot can go wrong between now and then to prevent such a thing from ever happening.

Staples being quite humble before McDavid even stepped on the ice for the Oilers. David, the Oilers need to make the playoffs first.

[CaptainCrunch]

Its funny with Staples because he has no moderation filter. They have the best prospect pool in the league and every prospect is awesome, but no one has ever challenged him on his past proclamations for Yak and PoolParty and the other busts.


Every player is due for a bounce back, and every player a career year. The Oilers are going to average over 4 goals a game, and Smith and Koskinen are fine.


Its pretty clear that he's either a delusional super fan that shouldn't be writing for a major publication, or he's paid by the Oilers, orrrrrrr, he ate pain chips as a kid and then fell on his head several times.


He's a joke, but Oiler fans give him a ton of credibility, and never call him on the fact that even with his predictions, even with the awesome prospect pool and the sure fire talent on this team. In the last 5 years they've made the playoffs one. (and no they didn't make the playoffs this year)


In fact with all of the awesomeness of that team, in the last 15 years they've made the playoff exactly twice. So anyone that thinks that Staples is some hockey expert, or a judge of hockey talent, of a guy that can predict and collate hockey based data needs to realize this.


He watches youtube clips and only the ones where players do well. He doesn't understand the difference between NHL hockey and European hockey or Junior hockey. In his mind they're all the same. He might use advanced Stats, but only the cherry picked ones (Ie last year he ignored the Oilers 5v5 disastrous numbers). His knowledge of depth is probably built around playing hockey video games with line changes turned off.


He's an idiot, a flimflam man, a con artist, a unabashed cheerleader, a unapologetic, moron and Edmonton's version the Iraqi propaganda minister.


He's treated as an expert by Oiler fans, a hilarious source of humor by fans of other teams, and an outright joke by anyone with the most rudimentary knowledge of NHL hockey.


He either needs a regular dose of lithium, or a serious stay in the John Kellogg sanitarium.


But at the end of the day. Staples, at the heart of it is just no good.

[Alpheus]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

He either needs a regular dose of lithium, or a serious stay in the John Kellogg sanitarium.

And deprive us of this comedic gold? Nah....

[Locke]

McDavid will just play the full 60 minutes. His skates will never leave the ice.

When he is supposed to be on the bench, he'll just be playing defence and then another defenceman will come over the boards and he'll go back to being a forward.

This is the way.