60 Things Men Should Know About Women!!

[J pold]

I don’t know why guys oh so concerned in figuring out why girls pout and what it means, what I have learned is that if girls want to freak out, or act illogical on an emotional whim I just totally tune out let them have there vent, than pretty simply I turn to them and ask very calming and as kindly as I can “are you done? Ok I don’t accept that type of behavior I am would like you to leave/I am going to go now, we can continue the conversation later”

[PYroMaNiaC]

Originally Posted by J pold

I don’t know why guys oh so concerned in figuring out why girls pout and what it means, what I have learned is that if girls want to freak out, or act illogical on an emotional whim I just totally tune out let them have there vent, than pretty simply I turn to them and ask very calming and as kindly as I can “are you done? Ok I don’t accept that type of behavior I am would like you to leave/I am going to go now, we can continue the conversation later”

I don't believe that there is anything wrong with a good argument - as long as it's conducted without name calling and other low blows. If a girl is truly freaking out, then you're probably best to leave, but sometimes she just wants to clear the air with some volume. If you walk away, she'll let you know eventually what is wrong, but you'll miss out on some really great make up sex.

[J pold]

Originally Posted by PYroMaNiaC

I'll try. You agreed with me that people (both sexes but, in particular, women) should look at the possibilty of love right in their own back yard. That best friends can be more.

You expressed (that's what I interpreted, anyway) frustration and/or confusion that it doesn't happen. That once a man was a woman's friend, she no longer looked at him with the possibilty of romance. This is the ladder theory, no?

I wondered why men would not search out different girls to be friends with - girls that showed the wisdom to understand that good relationships are built on a foundation of friendship.

Men do not do this. They are single minded in their pursuit of a specific girl, even if she shows little interest in moving to another level of the relationship. It is illogical. The girl is not interested in another level, she doesn't show the desirable trait of wisdom, and yet, the man is upset that she doesn't look at him romantically.

Why does he waste his time being bitter about being stuck on the friend ladder? Why doesn't he make new girl friends with girls that show more wisdom?

It would be the logical step to take and yet, men seem content to whine about the ladder.

IE: Tom is attracted to Susan. Susan likes Tom as a friend. Tom settles for being a friend only with the thought that with time and patience, she will look at him differently. Susan never does. Tom is upset because he's invested a lot of time with no payback (sex). He's upset about his ladder status.

Why does Tom not see that Susan does not possess the wisdom to see the potential for a relationship? Why does he pursue it anyway? Why does he not make friends with Ashley, who seems a little more aware of him? Or at least give Ashley the opportunity to show wisdom? Or Karen? Or Carmen? Or Amanda? Why does he invest energies in trying to get Susan to look at him differently when she clearly doesn't show enough wisdom to do so on her own?

Why?

Good post I wish I would have read it about 3 years ago, but from what I have learned is that when a women becomes to comfortable with a man she rarely ever feels attraction from him again….and a lot of guys do the wrong thing by thinking that if I am friends with her one day she will notice me, one day she will see that I will treat her better than the Jerk she is with now…and unfortunately it never happens

You can’t blame the women either I mean she looks at you as a friend and one day you drop a bomb that really you have been in love with her for the last 3 years I mean how is she supposed to react to that?

[J pold]

Originally Posted by PYroMaNiaC

I don't believe that there is anything wrong with a good argument - as long as it's conducted without name calling and other low blows. If a girl is truly freaking out, then you're probably best to leave, but sometimes she just wants to clear the air with some volume. If you walk away, she'll let you know eventually what is wrong, but you'll miss out on some really great make up sex.

Oh I 100% agree that a good argument is very health but when a girl just acts on a emotional whim mainly something like “God I hate when you do that!” or “You don’t treat me good enough your such a jerk” or “You don’t care about me all you care about is hockey and your friends!” just like a shotgun reaction to something I do that’s when I will just walk away

If she is willing to sit down and just and say “hey this is what I am feeling” or “I have a problem with this” than I am all ears…the main goal when these thing come up is to not over react and not become over emotional, just keep a level head and try to fully understand the situation

[4X4]

Originally Posted by Dion

No i'm not suggesting you're an abuser. I personaly don't have thoughts of violence and when you said you had alot of thoughts about violence I got concerned.



I can't say I have ever dated someone who got so angry that they walked out and slammed the door. It's a temperment that i'm not interested in being involved with. And if your going to slam the door and expect me to talk with you later... forget it!

Yes women are emotional. There are also extremes to what level they will take their emotions too also. Some are able to control their emotions without throwing a tantrum.

You have to be joking. Who are you, Richard Simmons? Of all people, you decided to name yourself after The Dion?

Help me, folks... Who won the Lady Byng last year...?

[PYroMaNiaC]

Originally Posted by J pold

Good post I wish I would have read it about 3 years ago, but from what I have learned is that when a women becomes to comfortable with a man she rarely ever feels attraction from him again….and a lot of guys do the wrong thing by thinking that if I am friends with her one day she will notice me, one day she will see that I will treat her better than the Jerk she is with now…and unfortunately it never happens

You can’t blame the women either I mean she looks at you as a friend and one day you drop a bomb that really you have been in love with her for the last 3 years I mean how is she supposed to react to that?

I won't say that it doesn't happen. Isn't there some stat that says people form impressions within 10 minutes or some such? Women and men do this. The man decides he wants her. She's decided she doesn't want him (or vice versa).

The issue that I see is that people base their first impressions on looks or sex appeal. Which is fine. You need to be attracted to have a relationship. But they never reevaluate the person of their desire. (She's pretty, but shallow. Or he's cute but dumb as a post.)

As a friendship grows and deepens, the value of looks does go down but only if the person is willing to look again. Tom may be attracted to Susan, but, frankly, she's showing immaturity that he should really be second guessing. Maybe she wasn't initally attracted to him, but he's a nice guy - been there through thick and thin and when he lifts his eyebrow at her, it is kinda cute.

They also never reevaluate what they are looking for in a mate. What suited you at 20 may not always be suitable for you when you are ready to settle down. But you are still pursuing the same type of person. (Tom wants a solid long-term relationship based in friendship but Susan is attractive so he wants her despite the fact that she does not show a least one quality that would make her a good candidate.)

[PYroMaNiaC]

Originally Posted by J pold

Oh I 100% agree that a good argument is very health but when a girl just acts on a emotional whim mainly something like “God I hate when you do that!” or “You don’t treat me good enough your such a jerk” or “You don’t care about me all you care about is hockey and your friends!” just like a shotgun reaction to something I do that’s when I will just walk away

If she is willing to sit down and just and say “hey this is what I am feeling” or “I have a problem with this” than I am all ears…the main goal when these thing come up is to not over react and not become over emotional, just keep a level head and try to fully understand the situation

I'll let you in on a little secret. Women don't always understand what they are angry about. They just know they are. The "you don't treat me good enough" is lashing out and unproductive to the relationship. BUT, she's probably trying to wade through the emotion to get to the root. Emotional is a very difficult state to remain in. It takes a lot of energy. She's releasing that energy - at you unfortunately - but the release will allow her to see why she's really upset. As a girl gets wiser, she'll direct that anger in a more productive way, and you will be the brunt of it less often.

Also, it should be noted that you said that it is the goal to remain calm and not overreact, when actually that's your goal. It's not hers. Hers, at that exact moment, is to let it out. She'll be normal later.

I know it doesn't make any sense. I know it's frustrating and bewildering. But, what is, is.

[J pold]

Originally Posted by PYroMaNiaC

I won't say that it doesn't happen. Isn't there some stat that says people form impressions within 10 minutes or some such? Women and men do this. The man decides he wants her. She's decided she doesn't want him (or vice versa).

The issue that I see is that people base their first impressions on looks or sex appeal. Which is fine. You need to be attracted to have a relationship. But they never reevaluate the person of their desire. (She's pretty, but shallow. Or he's cute but dumb as a post.)

As a friendship grows and deepens, the value of looks does go down but only if the person is willing to look again. Susan may not be attracted to Tom, but, frankly, she's showing immaturity that he should really be second guessing. Maybe she wasn't initally attracted to him, but he's a nice guy - been there through thick and thin and when he s his eyebrow at her, it is kinda cute.

They also never reevaluate what they are looking for in a mate. What suited you at 20 may not always be suitable for you when you are ready to settle down. But you are still pursuing the same type of person. (Tom wants a solid long-term relationship based in friendship but Susan is attractive so he wants her despite the fact that she does not show a least one quality that would make her a good candidate.)

Oh it does happen but usually for the wrong reasons, a girl will start to feel sorry for the guy or they just kind find a better alternative basically it just is not a good situation for either one of them, the girls with always dominate the relationship and there will be no balance, most guys just get stuck in a comfort zone thinking that listening to her problems talking on the phone for hours is going to get her attracted to him when really its not…she just think you’re a friend because you are acting like one

[J pold]

Originally Posted by PYroMaNiaC

I'll let you in on a little secret. Women don't always understand what they are angry about. They just know they are. The "you don't treat me good enough" is lashing out and unproductive to the relationship. BUT, she's probably trying to wade through the emotion to get to the root. Emotional is a very difficult state to remain in. It takes a lot of energy. She's releasing that energy - at you unfortunately - but the release will allow her to see why she's really upset. As a girl gets wiser, she'll direct that anger in a more productive way, and you will be the brunt of it less often.

Also, it should be noted that you said that it is the goal to remain calm and not overreact, when actually that's your goal. It's not hers. Hers, at that exact moment, is to let it out. She'll be normal later.

I know it doesn't make any sense. I know it's frustrating and bewildering. But, what is, is.

Ha ha I am already in on your secret that’s why when girls act in that emotional irrational state I just leave let them work it out a I am a young guy so yeah I see it a lot with the girls I date…and when I said that main goal, I meant that was my main goal just to stay cool I find it gets the best reaction

[PYroMaNiaC]

Originally Posted by J pold

Oh it does happen but usually for the wrong reasons, a girl will start to feel sorry for the guy or they just kind find a better alternative basically it just is not a good situation for either one of them, the girls with always dominate the relationship and there will be no balance, most guys just get stuck in a comfort zone thinking that listening to her problems talking on the phone for hours is going to get her attracted to him when really its not…she just think you’re a friend because you are acting like one

Agreed. So that brings me back to my original statement. Why do men do this? Why not search for a friend that shows more character? Then the men and the women get the best of both worlds - a guy that will listen, be tolerant and sympathetic and the man gets the smart woman who will appreciate all the strengths he brings to the table.

[J pold]

Originally Posted by PYroMaNiaC

Agreed. So that brings me back to my original statement. Why do men do this? Why not search for a friend that shows more character? Then the men and the women get the best of both worlds - a guy that will listen, be tolerant and sympathetic and the man gets the smart woman who will appreciate all the strengths he brings to the table.

I brought this up in earlier in thread…a lot of guys have the idea that there is one girl and in high school or whatever you see her you become so fully committed to her that it cuts off your vision of other women all you can see is her, and sad part is she just want to be your friend or might not even know your name, they think if they qualify themselves enough to her by doing nice things, like trying to help her with her problems, by her things…and its not like a girl is going to turn it down I mean no guy would, so they just go on with the idea in there head that the more they qualify themselves the better there chances are and that one day she will see, when really they are the ones that are seeing the whole picture

[Maritime Q-Scout]

Originally Posted by PYroMaNiaC

I'll try. You agreed with me that people (both sexes but, in particular, women) should look at the possibilty of love right in their own back yard. That best friends can be more.

You expressed (that's what I interpreted, anyway) frustration and/or confusion that it doesn't happen. That once a man was a woman's friend, she no longer looked at him with the possibilty of romance. This is the ladder theory, no?

I wondered why men would not search out different girls to be friends with - girls that showed the wisdom to understand that good relationships are built on a foundation of friendship.

Men do not do this. They are single minded in their pursuit of a specific girl, even if she shows little interest in moving to another level of the relationship. It is illogical. The girl is not interested in another level, she doesn't show the desirable trait of wisdom, and yet, the man is upset that she doesn't look at him romantically.

Why does he waste his time being bitter about being stuck on the friend ladder? Why doesn't he make new girl friends with girls that show more wisdom?

It would be the logical step to take and yet, men seem content to whine about the ladder.

IE: Tom is attracted to Susan. Susan likes Tom as a friend. Tom settles for being a friend only with the thought that with time and patience, she will look at him differently. Susan never does. Tom is upset because he's invested a lot of time with no payback (sex). He's upset about his ladder status.

Why does Tom not see that Susan does not possess the wisdom to see the potential for a relationship? Why does he pursue it anyway? Why does he not make friends with Ashley, who seems a little more aware of him? Or at least give Ashley the opportunity to show wisdom? Or Karen? Or Carmen? Or Amanda? Why does he invest energies in trying to get Susan to look at him differently when she clearly doesn't show enough wisdom to do so on her own?

Why?

I asked, I recieved, then I went to bed . . .


If Tom asks out Susan after being best friends, and Susan says no. The course of action Tom should make is stick around for a very short while and see if there is chance to try again, and if not find someone else to direct his affection towards. If she's playing hard to get, or now with the dynampics changed in the relationship trying a second (but not third) time I don't think is unreasonable.

If Susan says she needs time to think about it, then going and moving onto another girl seems unfair, to everyone involved. What if she says yes and you've moved on? But again the time frame should be short, and Susan has to be honest with Tom when she makes up her mind after thinking it over (don't just let it slide and pretend nothing happened, which from what I gather often becomes the case).

After moving on I don't think it's unreasonable to want to still have friendship with the girl, I mean you were good friends once for a reason. Is it wrong to want to continue the friendship only no a friendship level?

Also, if they say your partner is your best friend (at least of the opposite gender, all else being equal for the PC folks in the crowd) then why can't your best friend become your partner?

ALSO

what ever happened to the rule every girl has to get drunk and sleep with her best guy friend once. I mean . . . I've become a lot of girls best guy friend, and I'm waiting on the payout here!

[CaptainCrunch]

I have to admit that I've watched this debate with interest. But I wanted to float a few things out there from a personal perspective.

1) Sometimes woman go out of thier way to pick fights so that they can have an emotional explosion, everything gets laid out on the table, all issues even ones from the first day that you met are bought up, and everything is dealt with.

Men don't really go out of thier way to pick fights, but when we do its from more of a single issue perspective, thats why we tend to have more fights through our lifespan. Men don't engage with the silent treatment, or withhold something, or pack thier bags and move in with a friend for the most part. But we also as men, don't like too emotionally charged of an atmosphere, because as men we revert to type, and our temper usually gets the better of us. Thats why in mid argument a lot of guys just up and leave the room, we need that cool down seperation.

3) Someone once told me that woman are a emotional hurricane, once they get revved up you don't know where they're going, you don't know how much damage is going to get done, and someone is going to get hurt. Men in a relationship are like an emotional tidal wave, it builds and builds and gathers force and then explodes.

4) Personally I hate fighting with any girl that I date because they have that extra gland that stores grievances from 1987 when I told her that I didn't like her friend (You know the one right fellas!)

5) If your friends with a girl and you value that friendship, never try to nail her or date her. Basically thats the friendship. Even if after its over she says she still wants to be friends, that friendship that you have is over.

6) When a girl dumps you and says its her and not you, it basically means its all you, she just might not want to crush you even further. Even though I did have a girl that dumped me over a two hour period and told me it was all me, and that my genetic material should be scoured from the earth with a sledgehammer.

7) Never ever let a girl that dumps you end off with the "I would like to be friends thing" because everytime you see her in friend ship mode you remember that she used to be yours, you begin to inadvertantly sabatoge any relationship that she gets into because you 1) Want to deep down destroy her like she destroyed you 2) Nobody is good enough 3) You still think you can get back together. Coles notes version, when she says that she still wants to be friends, just say no. Make it a clean and complete break, and while your at it throw some disrespect at her mother, her father, and that friend that we were talking about before. Burn it to the ground and salt the dirt.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by Maritime Q-Scout

ALSO

what ever happened to the rule every girl has to get drunk and sleep with her best guy friend once. I mean . . . I've become a lot of girls best guy friend, and I'm waiting on the payout here!

Yeah, or else she gets drunk and tells you that your like a brother to her, and your reply is a mumbled and direct point out to dating rituals in Arkansas.

[J pold]

Originally Posted by Maritime Q-Scout

what ever happened to the rule every girl has to get drunk and sleep with her best guy friend once. I mean . . . I've become a lot of girls best guy friend, and I'm waiting on the payout here!

This is also a horrible fallacy that a lot of men have, if you are good friends than that’s all you are ever going to be, and if you do fool around its just going to destroy your friendship…when you first met a girl there is a small window where she is attracted to you, you convey your personality to her and she decides that she is comfortable with you at that points you need to move to the next level and have sex or at least kiss because if you don’t you get stuck in the comfort zone…better know as the “friendship zone”

[Maritime Q-Scout]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Yeah, or else she gets drunk and tells you that your like a brother to her, and your reply is a mumbled and direct point out to dating rituals in Arkansas.

Note to self carry around a map of Arkansas in my wallet at all times

[Maritime Q-Scout]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

I have to admit that I've watched this debate with interest. But I wanted to float a few things out there from a personal perspective.

1) Sometimes woman go out of thier way to pick fights so that they can have an emotional explosion, everything gets laid out on the table, all issues even ones from the first day that you met are bought up, and everything is dealt with.

Men don't really go out of thier way to pick fights, but when we do its from more of a single issue perspective, thats why we tend to have more fights through our lifespan. Men don't engage with the silent treatment, or withhold something, or pack thier bags and move in with a friend for the most part. But we also as men, don't like too emotionally charged of an atmosphere, because as men we revert to type, and our temper usually gets the better of us. Thats why in mid argument a lot of guys just up and leave the room, we need that cool down seperation.

I agree 100%, it takes a lot, and I mean a lot to set me off. If I do feel myself getting worked up I leave a room. You'll never heard me name call or throw low-blows as it instantly means you won the argument. I've debated competitively too long to give some girl (even if I'm dating her) the benifit of winning on a DQ for name-calling.

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

3) Someone once told me that woman are a emotional hurricane, once they get revved up you don't know where they're going, you don't know how much damage is going to get done, and someone is going to get hurt. Men in a relationship are like an emotional tidal wave, it builds and builds and gathers force and then explodes.

Ohhh it's like an e-mail survey . . . where's #2, haha. I don't fall into the stereotypical many fights over one issue, I generally can reach a compromise well before I get angry (I have a weird mental defect that takes joy in it or atleast making you see how what I want is the compromise). However if you piss me off and actually get me angry it's Tsunami level.

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

4) Personally I hate fighting with any girl that I date because they have that extra gland that stores grievances from 1987 when I told her that I didn't like her friend (You know the one right fellas!)

I actually like the challange of it. That and I've never seen someone argue like my mother, and if I didn't argue with her I'd never have gotten to drive the car when I was 17. Bring it on, might be why I enjoy this thread so much actually

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

5) If your friends with a girl and you value that friendship, never try to nail her or date her. Basically thats the friendship. Even if after its over she says she still wants to be friends, that friendship that you have is over.

My bone of contention here, is if she values the friendship shouldn't she respect you enough for the limb you went out on to atleast consider it? Why is friendship always about the guy in these debates?

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

6) When a girl dumps you and says its her and not you, it basically means its all you, she just might not want to crush you even further. Even though I did have a girl that dumped me over a two hour period and told me it was all me, and that my genetic material should be scoured from the earth with a sledgehammer.

Ouch, I have the sudden urge to give you a hug, but won't because I'm a male so I'll say "suck it up princess, here's some milk you Captain Crunch jerk-face".

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

7) Never ever let a girl that dumps you end off with the "I would like to be friends thing" because everytime you see her in friend ship mode you remember that she used to be yours, you begin to inadvertantly sabatoge any relationship that she gets into because you 1) Want to deep down destroy her like she destroyed you 2) Nobody is good enough 3) You still think you can get back together. Coles notes version, when she says that she still wants to be friends, just say no. Make it a clean and complete break, and while your at it throw some disrespect at her mother, her father, and that friend that we were talking about before. Burn it to the ground and salt the dirt.

Girl: Let's still be friends

You: No thanks, I have enough F****** friends!

[Ayrahb]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

7) Never ever let a girl that dumps you end off with the "I would like to be friends thing" because everytime you see her in friend ship mode you remember that she used to be yours, you begin to inadvertantly sabatoge any relationship that she gets into because you 1) Want to deep down destroy her like she destroyed you 2) Nobody is good enough 3) You still think you can get back together.

Following up on your point and to prove to our female friends at CP that men do think some of these relationship things through:

"Let's be friends" after a break-up is one thing I've always refused to do, because it's simply a bad deal for the guy. If it's the girl's idea and she broke up with you, she most likely wants to alleviate the feeling of guilt, keep you around for non-sexual practical reasons (such as opening the proverbial pickle jar, crying on your shoulder, etc) or she wants to make the emotional pain of a break-up subside gradually by having you available.

In addition to Cap.Crunch's points above, another good reason for not falling into that trap is that no self-respecting woman will start dating you if you keep your ex-es around. Heck, a lot of them won't even tolerate your married and pregnant friends. You, guys, do realize that many women consider that cheating means being emotionally close to other women, not just making whoopee with them.

[CaramonLS]

Originally Posted by Maritime Q-Scout

My bone of contention here, is if she values the friendship shouldn't she respect you enough for the limb you went out on to atleast consider it? Why is friendship always about the guy in these debates?

Probably because if the girl asks, as long as shes on 'the ladder', the guy isn't going to turn her down.

[redforever]

Originally Posted by PYroMaNiaC

I won't say that it doesn't happen. Isn't there some stat that says people form impressions within 10 minutes or some such? Women and men do this. The man decides he wants her. She's decided she doesn't want him (or vice versa).

The issue that I see is that people base their first impressions on looks or sex appeal. Which is fine. You need to be attracted to have a relationship. But they never reevaluate the person of their desire. (She's pretty, but shallow. Or he's cute but dumb as a post.)

As a friendship grows and deepens, the value of looks does go down but only if the person is willing to look again. Tom may be attracted to Susan, but, frankly, she's showing immaturity that he should really be second guessing. Maybe she wasn't initally attracted to him, but he's a nice guy - been there through thick and thin and when he lifts his eyebrow at her, it is kinda cute.

They also never reevaluate what they are looking for in a mate. What suited you at 20 may not always be suitable for you when you are ready to settle down. But you are still pursuing the same type of person. (Tom wants a solid long-term relationship based in friendship but Susan is attractive so he wants her despite the fact that she does not show a least one quality that would make her a good candidate.)

I think we have all seen someone go through this, what I like to call salt and pepper relationships. The first relationship never worked, but time and time again, the person keeps looking for and keeps getting the same type of person as they did the first time, almost like a self perpetuating merry go round they can not get off of.