Over Protective Parents [Split from WGMG]

[Shazam]

Don't forget that girls on FB use their married last name, thus hampering even more MarchHare's search for MILF sex.

And people change their profile picture all the time. Even people without kids.

[The Yen Man]

Originally Posted by habernac

gee, I don't know, how about sending them a note confirming who they are? Is that too difficult?

Some people are proud of their kids and like to share photos with their friends. Some other people need to get over it.

Just out of curiousity for new parents who to pimp their kids pictures and info on the internet, are you guys ever worried about the fact that you are posting all this stuff on the net? Because I've always held strong to the assumption that once something goes on the internet, there's no way for it to ever not be on the internet anymore. I mean, yes you can say you have all the security functions in place so only the people you know have access to the pictures. But it really only takes someone you know downloading a picture and then posting it on a public forum. Are you not worried that pictures of naked little Johnny or Jenny show up in 4chan or in some weird newsgroup in the future?

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by username

Another one that is really bugging me lately is mothers on Facebook. Seriously how much more out of control can moms get on that thing? Every fricken status of every mom I know involves their stupid kid as if they don’t have anything else going on in their lives other than their children. Ya I get it, little Johnny just took his first steps, what kind of trouble is he going to get himself into? The whole world of Facebook is dying to know. As if the statuses aren’t bad enough, it’s the responses that really get me. Very rarely do you see one such as “good luck with that” or “oh, Johnny is growing up quickly”. It’s always some other stupid mom who has nothing better to do than patrol FB all day with a selfish repose about her own stupid kid. “Oh I remember when little Sarah started walking, the whole house as a mess lol”. I’ve deleted so many people off FB for this exact reason that I’m beginning to burn a lot of bridges.

I was going through this too, until I learned to simply shut-off status updates from people I didn't care about. I actually really like baby updates...from my real friends who's kids I care about.

[MJM]

What it all comes down today is the modern housewife for some reason feels the need to justify their existence given the amount of very successful women now in the workplace, and the fact that the modern housewife does not or will not do the chores housewives of past did to keep them busy during the day. This isn't about safety of children, this is about trying to give off the impression to the other hens and their working women friends that they are as busy as they are.

They are bored, and deep down inside they are a little insecure that some of their friends are CEO's while they stay at home all day. The best way to counteract this, is you guessed, stick your nose in every aspect of your child's life and let everyone you know about it (facebook, social settings, etc.)

Now i'm no woman hater, and in fact I respect those who choose to stay at home and raise their children, but when your own insecurities are creating a complete generation of brainless drones with no ambition, I get a little upset because as someone previously said in this thread, these kids will someday be entering the workforce and i'll have to deal with them. I've already started to notice it with some of our co-op students, and these kids weren't nearly as pampered as the 8-9 years olds I see on my street who can't even go to the bus stop one block down without having mommy drive their and wait with them in their SUV.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by MJM

What it all comes down today is the modern housewife for some reason feels the need to justify their existence given the amount of very successful women now in the workplace, and the fact that the modern housewife does not or will not do the chores housewives of past did to keep them busy during the day. This isn't about safety of children, this is about trying to give off the impression to the other hens and their working women friends that they are as busy as they are.

They are bored, and deep down inside they are a little insecure that some of their friends are CEO's while they stay at home all day. The best way to counteract this, is you guessed, stick your nose in every aspect of your child's life and let everyone you know about it (facebook, social settings, etc.)

Now i'm no woman hater, and in fact I respect those who choose to stay at home and raise their children, but when your own insecurities are creating a complete generation of brainless drones with no ambition, I get a little upset because as someone previously said in this thread, these kids will someday be entering the workforce and i'll have to deal with them. I've already started to notice it with some of our co-op students, and these kids weren't nearly as pampered as the 8-9 years olds I see on my street who can't even go to the bus stop one block down without having mommy drive their and wait with them in their SUV.

Being a stay at home mom for kids 0-5 is worse than torture. It's a 24/7, 365 day/year brutal, thankless, tiring, horrific job. If you think they have it easy you are in for a major wake-up call when you have kids of your own. It might look easy, but it's anything but.

[peter12]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Being a stay at home mom for kids 0-5 is worse than torture. It's a 24/7, 365 day/year brutal, thankless, tiring, horrific job. If you think they have it easy you are in for a major wake-up call when you have kids of your own. It might look easy, but it's anything but.

Holy moses, I'm not sure this describes the lives of most mothers.

[MJM]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Being a stay at home mom for kids 0-5 is worse than torture. It's a 24/7, 365 day/year brutal, thankless, tiring, horrific job. If you think they have it easy you are in for a major wake-up call when you have kids of your own. It might look easy, but it's anything but.

I never said that it was easy (although I wouldn't be complaining if I could leave my 2500+ hour a year job to stay with my kids). I said today's housewive is insecure about it, so they over-compensate through involvement with their children's lives almost to the point that it's more a of hinderance to the child's future than an aid.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by peter12

Holy moses, I'm not sure this describes the lives of most mothers.

Just the honest ones.

[peter12]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Just the honest ones.

I know a few stay-at-home moms who absolutely hate their lives. The reason being (seriously) is that they are completely uninteresting and self-absorbed people. None of them has an active intellectual life nor do they engage in the management of the home.

My mom stayed at home for 12 years to raise me and my three siblings. But she was more than just a bus driver and slave chef, she helped with our education, taking us to the libraries, to documentary-showings, taught us how to take care of our pets etc...

There is so much to being a mom beyond ferrying a bunch of kids to-and-fro school in your H3.

Edit: Also, I'm with MJM, it's about respecting what you can and can't do with your child. Harassing your child at school is totally out.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by peter12

I know a few stay-at-home moms who absolutely hate their lives. The reason being (seriously) is that they are completely uninteresting and self-absorbed people. None of them has an active intellectual life nor do they engage in the management of the home.

My mom stayed at home for 12 years to raise me and my three siblings. But she was more than just a bus driver and slave chef, she helped with our education, taking us to the libraries, to documentary-showings, taught us how to take care of our pets etc...

There is so much to being a mom beyond ferrying a bunch of kids to-and-fro school in your H3.

Yeah but Peter you probably don't know what goes into raising really young kids from babies through their toddler years. You remember being a kid and hanging with your mom probably from around 5 and up, with maybe a few sporadic memories from 2-4. It's the 0-5 that is very difficult.

Also, I think it's even harder for intelligent people to some degree. It's a mind-numbing life (the first 5 years) in many ways, with days and nights completely filled with menial tasks (cleaning, laundry, cooking, appointments, etc.) all on very little sleep. There are few opportunities for intellectual stimuli. Why you see mothers on facebook is because they usually only have a few minutes at a time for themselves. There isn't time to engage with anything for more than a moment or two without being interrupted.

You can only really get how difficult it is by talking to somebody that is currently nuts-deep in it. From what I've seen, parents block it out once they are through it - I've got a 3 year-old and a 4 year-old so I'm half-way to the sweet bliss of toddler amnesia and I can't wait.

[peter12]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Yeah but Peter you probably don't know what goes into raising really young kids from babies through their toddler years. You remember being a kid and hanging with your mom probably from around 5 and up, with maybe a few sporadic memories from 2-4. It's the 0-5 that is very difficult.

Also, I think it's even harder for intelligent people to some degree. It's a mind-numbing life (the first 5 years) in many ways, with days and nights completely filled with menial tasks (cleaning, laundry, cooking, appointments, etc.) all on very little sleep. There are few opportunities for intellectual stimuli. Why you see mothers on facebook is because they usually only have a few minutes at a time for themselves. There isn't time to engage with anything for more than a moment or two without being interrupted.

You can only really get how difficult it is by talking to somebody that is currenly nuts-deep in it. From what I've seen, parents block it out once they are through it - I've got a 3 year-old and a 4 year-old so I'm half-way to the sweet bliss of toddler amnesia and I can't wait.

Oh I agree with you, but that's where the husband definitely needs to step in with full support.

[habernac]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Being a stay at home mom for kids 0-5 is worse than torture. It's a 24/7, 365 day/year brutal, thankless, tiring, horrific job. If you think they have it easy you are in for a major wake-up call when you have kids of your own. It might look easy, but it's anything but.

As a parent of two under the age of five, I feel your pain. But people with no kids are quick to hand out advice on something they have no clue about.

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by habernac

As a parent of two under the age of five, I feel your pain. But people with no kids are quick to hand out advice on something they have no clue about.

Doesn't neccesairly mean it isn't good advice. All depends on the context. Advice on how to raise kids I'm with you, but for parents who are "feeling the pain" then sometimes a mental health check from a friend who doesn't have kids can be a good thing.

For example, mothers who feel house-bound or "trapped" in the 0-5 as it has been described in this thread I would argue need a creative outlet. Writing, painting, whatever. I'm sure that even in the 0-5 there is enough time in a day for them to get some "me" time in other than FB.

[Locke]

What did you do today?
"Well, little Johnny walked around and fell a lot."

Great, and what did you do today?
"Johnny coloured for a bit and then he crapped himself."

Awesome, what did you do today?
"..."

See you later.

Haha, okay, a tad over the top, but this is a pretty typical conversation with parents of their first kid. Be they a mom or dad. Its the same. I actually dont mind parents on their third kid or something, I think they're crazy, but they're at least a little more fun, mostly because they crave adult contact:

Hey, little Johnny just went brain first down a flight of stairs....
"Whatever, he'll live, did you hear the Flames brought back Jokinen?"

[CaptainCrunch]

You know, if parents wanted to protect their kids, they'd lock their bedroom door at night, and install a padded headboard, oh and get a new fricken mattress without metal springs in it.

[MarchHare]

Originally Posted by Shazam

Who the fata cares?

You're arguing that a parent sucks because some person can't find them on Facebook. On the scale of things that matter this rates a minus eleventy billion.

I never said that the parent "sucked" because of this. I didn't even say that it matters a whole lot. All I said is that as a Facebook user, it annoys me when people replace their personal profile photo with a picture of their child.

I don't even care if they create a sub album within their profile that contains hundreds of pictures of precious little Johnny. I just think that one's profile photo should be an image of themself, given that's what others will be looking at when they're searching for them.

[Shazam]

Originally Posted by MarchHare

I never said that the parent "sucked" because of this. I didn't even say that it matters a whole lot. All I said is that as a Facebook user, it annoys me when people replace their personal profile photo with a picture of their child.

I don't even care if they create a sub album within their profile that contains hundreds of pictures of precious little Johnny. I just think that one's profile photo should be an image of themself, given that's what others will be looking at when they're searching for them.

There's plenty of MILFs on FB for you to hit on.

[MarchHare]

Originally Posted by peter12

I know a few stay-at-home moms who absolutely hate their lives. The reason being (seriously) is that they are completely uninteresting and self-absorbed people. None of them has an active intellectual life nor do they engage in the management of the home.

This (rather lengthy but totally worth it) article is very salient to this conversation:

http://nymag.com/news/features/67024/

MOMS: Ever feel alone in how you perceive this role? I swear I feel like I’m surrounded by women who were once smart & interesting but have become zombies who only talk about soccer and coupons.

This was an opening gambit on UrbanBaby this past April. It could have devolved into a sanctimommy pile-on. It didn’t.

"I totally feel this way."

"I am a f/t wohm—Work Outside the Home Mom—have a career, and I don’t feel smart or interesting anymore! I don’t talk about soccer or coupons, but just feel too tired to talk about anything that interesting."

"I freely admit that I have gained “more” than I have lost by becoming a parent, but I still miss aspects of my old life."

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by MarchHare

I just think that one's profile photo should be an image of themself, given that's what others will be looking at when they're searching for them.

My FB has a picture of me when I was 10. Is that okay?

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

Doesn't neccesairly mean it isn't good advice. All depends on the context. Advice on how to raise kids I'm with you, but for parents who are "feeling the pain" then sometimes a mental health check from a friend who doesn't have kids can be a good thing.

For example, mothers who feel house-bound or "trapped" in the 0-5 as it has been described in this thread I would argue need a creative outlet. Writing, painting, whatever. I'm sure that even in the 0-5 there is enough time in a day for them to get some "me" time in other than FB.

Depends on a lot of factors beyond your control like:

• how difficult/independent your kid's nature is
• how much support you have from extended family to spell you off (I know peers that get one night off/week with their kids staying at a grandparent's house for 24 hours to people that get no time off ever)
• energy level - older parents (late 30s) have way less energy than younger parents (mid-20s) from what I've seen
• stress level - sometimes there are external stresses beyond your control that sap energy, leaving you with less energy to persue "me" time than would be ideal
• Many, many, many days - at least 50% but probably more - there is truly not time for "me" stuff ---> asses still have to wiped, food has to get cooked, laundry has to get done, bills have to get paid, baths, grocery shopping, house cleaning, etc. etc. etc.

So while the advice of people that don't have 0-5 year olds may be good advice, 9 times out of ten it's not practical, not realistic and just really annoying in its naivety.