Rate your current mental health level out of 10

[Locke]

Originally Posted by topfiverecords

If you feel you need more time with your old friend, can you get in touch with them?

I will try and phone him at some point, but he literally up and pulled stakes.

His cancer diagnosis is terminal and his life expectancy is so low it is measured in days, so he isn't going through treatment because theres not much point and so, yeah, he decided to sell it all and up and move to spend his last days with his daughter in Georgia.

The last thing he said before leaving was: "I can't wait to be back with my wife."

She passed 10 years ago.

[Cowboy89]

Originally Posted by Locke

I will try and phone him at some point, but he literally up and pulled stakes.

His cancer diagnosis is terminal and his life expectancy is so low it is measured in days, so he isn't going through treatment because theres not much point and so, yeah, he decided to sell it all and up and move to spend his last days with his daughter in Georgia.

The last thing he said before leaving was: "I can't wait to be back with my wife."

She passed 10 years ago.

How often do people live their lives right up until the last moments with the expectation that tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, next decade are a given for them? While it's sad to see a life definitively move towards it's near term conclusion, there's somehow some silver lining in his story that he received his prognosis and gets to decide what matters most with those precious last days and has the opportunity to act on them with intent. You should be proud of the important job you do in helping him enable that.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Cowboy89

How often do people live their lives right up until the last moments with the expectation that tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, next decade are a given for them? While it's sad to see a life definitively move towards it's near term conclusion, there's somehow some silver lining in his story that he received his prognosis and gets to decide what matters most with those precious last days and has the opportunity to act on them with intent. You should be proud of the important job you do in helping him enable that.

I'd agree with that. He gets to choose how he goes out. Its like making those last days more precious and valued both by him and his family.

Its on his terms.

You're right, we all have this blank-space in the back of our minds that we're all going to live forever and take that somewhat for granted, but when you're presented with a very serious ticking clock it becomes more imperative to make those days and minutes really count.

And I hope I helped. Even if in whatever small way I can.

Like I said...I care. I really do. Even and often to my own detriment, but I think it would be callous and even offensive to not care. Even if it hurts me.

[fotze2]

I was going to step away from this board, didnt realize i was unliked by so many.

I've posted this before. My mom did MAID and that was brutal but my artist brother posted this before.

The end of a melody is not its goal: but nonetheless, had the melody not reached its end it would not have reached its goal either.

The fact that you are so affected is a good thing, not a pleasant thing, but good. We will all end up in the ground some day.having people miss your thing is all we have.

Not sure if its possible but if you can, try to be there. It will be brutal. But thats what makes life great.

You know my number, anytime. You did not do anything wrong other than not kicking those clients in the face.

[DoubleF]

Originally Posted by Locke

Not gonna lie...low today.

A client came in today...and I call him a 'client' but he worked with my dad at Greyhound and Red Arrow, he has known me and been a friend my entire life and he has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Real fast.

So...I tried to give him all the time in world. Just to talk. Because this was the last time I'd ever see him alive and we both knew it.

My office was his last stop in regards to being mobile. After seeing me he was handing over his car to whomever he sold it to and handing in his Driver's License. After being a Professional Driver for 50+ years.

And in the meantime 3 people came into my office needing my attention. They just stopped in with no appointments and demanded my attention...my office is not a McDonald's drive-through. I am trying to give this man my complete attention for the very last time. This was genuinely the last time I would see him alive.

He will be dead sooner than later. I wanted him to have 100% of my attention. I think he deserved it and I wanted to give it to him but I've got people lined up...

He was so conscientious and kind...he knew I was busy and was trying to get out of my office so I could get back to work...like I could? So he graciously shuffles out of my office...

And then "Locke...I need this and I need that and..."

I was losing it. I just needed a goddamned minute. I just needed one goddamned minute to get my #### together! I just said goodbye to a dear friend for the last time and I just needed one goddamned minute to get myself together while this immensely kind friend of mine shuffled out of my life for the last time.

So I went into my office, closed the door and just tried to collect myself to get on with the day...

And they're outside my office in my waiting room. Irate. They know I'm not 'working' in there and they're right...I wasn't. I just needed time to collect myself to get on with my day and then solve their problems.

It just about killed me.

I intensely care about my clients and I deeply care about my friends...and I feel like I disrespected this immensely kind man by being busy...these people weren't supposed to just show up. This was 'his time.' Thats how I booked it.

I feel like a giant POS because I pretty much failed everyone today. All in the span of 1 hour.

Years and years of caring and...*poof* the goodwill is gone. Just like that.

So yeah. Today was a low day.

But I'll get it together and back at it tomorrow.

Nah, you good. I would have said something like, "I have recently been notified of personal matter where someone's survival is of concern. Since you didn't have an appointment, please return in 45 minutes." But I get it. If it's similar to the situation I ran into, it's a bit of a shell shock and you navigate the situation in a sorta of a fog. Don't fault yourself for being human.

I mean, be totally open while still respecting privacy. If such a client can't respect that, #### them. They ain't even human if they can't recognize and respect a small bit of humanity and I'm not going to conduct business with people like that.

Maybe you can consider chatting with those clients in a few days to explain the situation. If they continue with their jackassery, tell them that you feel you no longer have the capabilities to service them.

Don't be scared to have that conversation. People are understanding as long as they get a passable explanation. I've run into a scenario like that once in my life. After explaining I was kinda in shock after recently learning of a situation where someone was on their death bed. Clients quickly went from panic/frustrated requests to immediate understanding. Turned out fine, clients showed they were solid people.

[Jiri Hrdina]

Originally Posted by fotze2

I was going to step away from this board, didnt realize i was unliked by so many.

.

What?
I think you are very well liked. When you were gone for many years, you were probably one of the most missed.

[Fuzz]

Ya, don't listen to the haters. Like, do people actually PM you that you suck? I don't think I've ever been PM'd for that, and I'm pretty sure I have more haters around here than you do! Enjoy it, it means they respect you enough to have an opinion. Better than not existing.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by fotze2

I was going to step away from this board, didnt realize i was unliked by so many.

I've posted this before. My mom did MAID and that was brutal but my artist brother posted this before.

The end of a melody is not its goal: but nonetheless, had the melody not reached its end it would not have reached its goal either.

The fact that you are so affected is a good thing, not a pleasant thing, but good. We will all end up in the ground some day.having people miss your thing is all we have.

Not sure if its possible but if you can, try to be there. It will be brutal. But thats what makes life great.

You know my number, anytime. You did not do anything wrong other than not kicking those clients in the face.

Thanks for the call man. I really appreciated that.

[troutman]

I’ll be in town March 21st. If some of you want to meet for lunch that day, we can do some group therapy. By that I mean drinking beer.

[kermitology]

I was having a really good week to start the week, then something small happened at work and it's ballooned into something bigger that basically ensures I need to find a new job.

[dissentowner]

Originally Posted by kermitology

I was having a really good week to start the week, then something small happened at work and it's ballooned into something bigger that basically ensures I need to find a new job.

That sucks. Are you in a field where you can land on your feet ok?

[Rutuu]

Originally Posted by kermitology

I was having a really good week to start the week, then something small happened at work and it's ballooned into something bigger that basically ensures I need to find a new job.

You're good at what you do. It always feels bad at first, but in a month it'll be okay either way.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by troutman

I’ll be in town March 21st. If some of you want to meet for lunch that day, we can do some group therapy. By that I mean drinking beer.

I'm you're Huckleberry.

[Manhattanboy]

Originally Posted by kermitology

I was having a really good week to start the week, then something small happened at work and it's ballooned into something bigger that basically ensures I need to find a new job.

Ugh sorry to hear.

[Nancy]

Originally Posted by Joborule

I don't have much to say except I feel you. I've been going through a similar circumstance with my mother over the past 3 years. It's definitely a grind emotionally, and it both challenging and frustrating to try to get her the medical assistance she required proactively until things got bad enough that she had to have a mental health warrant done twice.

She wasn't diagnosed with dementia, but personality delusion disorder.

After the second time she ended up in the hospital, she couldn't go back to her home since that was the primary trigger. After a year trying to live independently in an apartment, she's now in a nursing home since she requires support on hand to make sure she's eating well and be part of a community. She's having a very difficult time with all of these transitions in such a short time span on top of other issues she has ongoing, but she's not having the paranoia episodes anymore thanks to complying with the medication.

Looking back my mom had a strong sense of paranoia. She would jump to conclusions although there was no evidence or logic to reach the conclusions she would have. But I feel the pandemic really effed her up due to the break up of her routine and isolation it brought about. Combine that with all the scam calls that were happening, and I believe it caused her condition to get out of hand and led to her seeing and hearing things that weren't happening.

It's an exhausting situation to handle - especially if you have to do it primarily by yourself. Hopefully there's a solution that can be found where you can convince her to take the step in talking to her doctor about this. But with whatever ends up happening, make sure you're doing what you can to trying to take care of yourself as well.

Dealing with something vaguely similar with my wife, except in her case it might actually be dementia. She completely rejects that anything is wrong and has refused everything... testing, treatment, medication. The past year or two has been complete chaos.